Psst -- "claarly stamped"?

Do you think the producers of the Sopranos will begin issuing red shirts?

Didn't watch the show. I heard that they skimped on stabbings, but did have an impressive variety of violence.

bc

I don't have HBO so have never seen the Sopranos. But James Gandolfini was brilliant as Big Dave Brewster in The Man Who Wasn't There, as was the entire cast (Billy Bob, Frances McDormand, Tony Shaloub and that fellow who played the pansy con-man). Rarely do I find this kind of film among all the glitz and superficiality that is so prevalent today. The g-girls have watched many of my old 40s and 50s b/w films noir so they were not put off by the lack of technicolor nor the styles and mores of that time.

****** OFF TOPIC ALERT *********
For those whom have not read the Aaron Burr Kit, Achenfan/Dreamer/TomFam posted some great stories of her adventures in Hong Kong last night (that latter 1/3 of the Kit).

We now return you to your regularly scheduled Kaboodle.

My husband regrets that he has but one life to give for his company. I regret it, too.

What a great show--seeing how the other side lives. Most of us have mundane lives and don't have the additional option where we can way the pros and CONS of bothering to go the extra mile to hire a lawyer.

Dreamer, you're back from your temple visit a bit early, aren't you? I don't think you had time to stop and meditate in front of all 10,000 (or was it 12,400) Buddhas, did you? Did you even bother to count them all to make sure none were missing? I thought not! Harrrrumph!

I liked the scene in the Sopranos where Tony buys Carmella a Porsche Cayenne ("like the pepper"). I feel safe in assuming he got one fully loaded, and so looked up the probably price: north of $70,000 would be a good guess. The trash business must be doin' pretty good in North Joisey.

Like Joel, I knew the guy who wanted to move to Florida was toast, but I didn't see him going out the way he did. And didn't see Tony getting shot coming, either. I'm surprised they didn't use that as last season's cliffhanger--although I don't think we could have tolerated two years of "Who shot Tony Soprano" and/or "Did he die or did the ambulance get there in time?"

He told me that he could easily get me an autographed copy of "The Last Mafioso."
***

"The Last Mafioso" is the biography of Jimmy "the Weasel" Fratianno, a West Coast Mafioso who turned government witness, but it tells a vastly greater story. The L.A. and Vegas underworlds spring to life in this enthralling book; anyone with a passing interest in the Mafia will enjoy it.

Jimmy Fratianno was a small time hood who killed on demand and was quick to exploit anyone and everyone to make a quick buck. He lived by his code of honor [Omerta] and according to him, always split up his money with his partners. The book details some of the hits Jimmy did to make his bones. His attempts at trying to kill Mickey Cohen are interesting if not funny. With his desperation at trying to buy a Las Vegas casino and his trucking company being prosecuted, Jimmy tries to make himself sound like a victim of mob and government justice. His relationship with Johnny Roselli and Frank Bompensiero don't help him in L.A. or with the Chicago and New York families. When he takes over the L.A. family, one is not sure whether the Dragnas betrayed him or he really never had the O.K. to head the family. After many monetary failures and the murders of the 'Bomp' and Roselli, Jimmy realizes he has been betrayed and that Dominick Brooklier, now the head of the L.A. family, has a contract out on him. He hides in San Francisco for a while, but he soon turns to the government for his salvation. Becoming a rat was tough for him, but at least he was able to get some measure of revenge on his tormentors, rather than a bullet behind each ear as so many of his victims had.
***

Jimmy "The Weasel" was a subject of conversation on more than one occasion. As were the Chinese gangs in San Francisco. As was Abscam and Joe Conforti and the Mustang Ranch, as was tax evasion.

As could have been Queen Elizabeth and Prince Phillip's trip to California in 1983.:

http://www.reagan.utexas.edu/archives/speeches/1983/30383b.htm

One thing was certain: he wouldn't step foot in the Tahoe casinos for fear of being recognized.

You want interesting hot tub conversation at Tahoe: date a spy-guy.

Now that I'm back at college I don't have HBO. I'll have to wait for The Sopranos and Rome to come out on DVD so I can rent them or something.

Father Barry: "You want to know what's wrong with our waterfront? It's the love of a lousy buck. It's making love of a buck---the cushy job---more important than the love of man!"

Joel, we miss your "categories." If we can't have permalinks, at least give us categories.

Thanks.

And while we're at it, who watched the "Big Love" premiere? No wonder the Mormons are upset! And those of you ladies (and I suppose a few guys, not that there's anything wrong with that) who are big fans of Bill Paxton may enjoy the near-full-backal-nudity love scene early in the show. Don't watch this show with your kids. And the writers must have been browsing the Weingarten chat last week, 'cause there was a scene of four fast-food restaurant teen waitresses discussing how one of them had let her boyfriend get to "third base."

The Mormons also can't be very happy with Harry Dean Stanton, who plays a fairly villainous Mormon elder who seems to be extorting 15% of everything Bill Paxton's business makes. I think Paxton may need to get in touch with Tony Soprano before too many episodes slide by.

Loomis quoting "On the Waterfront"! Awwwriiight. Great flick.

I feel like I got bumped off. I had a crazybusy week last week and had no time to drop by here. Or, as the guy didn't say in that Godfather movie, I try to get back, and they keep pulling me away!

Speaking of fullbackal (ahem) nudity, my wife (a Matthew McConaghey fan) took me to see "Failure to Launch" last Friday night.

'twas a veritable planet Venus in the theater, with seas of estrogen.

I'll admit, I laughed out loud at Terry Bradshaw's scene in his "nude room". Brave, though he doesn't have to face JB next fall on FOX's NFL Pregame. All he has to face is Howie and Jimmy. Oh, and Jillian and Frank Caliendo (who's at the DC Improv in a couple of weeks, IIRC).

I should get HBO one of these years, but I'm worried that I'll end up reading less than I do now.

bc

I don't know about the rest of you Sopranos watchers, but I woke up with a serious sushi jones this AM. You know it's bad when you want unagi for breakfast.

My boss has a bumper sticker on his door that says "What would Tony do?"

This frightens me.

I mean, you know how I hate bumper stickers..

As many fellow Boodlers have noted, being busy is hell on posting... So just for the record, I have not been cast as a Sopranos redshirt.

Hey Pixel! Long time no Boodle! *wave*

And if people think being a soprano is dangerous, imagine being a castr... no, not gonna go there. :-)

Does my somewhat Swiss-cheese brain recall discussion of an April BPH?? Cherry Blossom Porching?

To fellow Gandolfini fans, I recommend the movie "The Mexican," with Brad and Julia, which seemed to disappear in a hurry, but I thought it was a very good little movie, with some excellent writing and a great performance by the G, who plays a gay hit man. My favorite line comes from a small-town Mexican sheriff who is suprisingly literate. In describing the legend behind "the Mexican," he says, "it [the legend] has a darker motif." I think I may adopt that as my new motto.

My paternal grandfather came from Italy.

The beauty part of having "The Sopranos" on the air is that now whenever I jokingly offer to have somebody whacked, the laughter is just a little bit more nervous...

"I'm surprised at you, Fadda, if you don't mind my saying so. Letting Edie see things ain't fit for the eyes of a decent goil." Great flick indeed.

I think it is incumbent upon those of us of a literary bent, and yuz knows who yuz are, to come up wid a nickname for da Kitter, Signor Achenbach hizownself. Yuz know, like "Jimmy da Weasel" only different. Mebbe "Joel da Chipmonk" or "Joel da Aardwolf" Achenbach. Now yuz got the idea, play amongst yourselves.

See, the thing that pisses Mormon's off about "Big Love" is that if you are Mormon and a polygamist, you get excommunicated. It's not allowed in the church. It's the REORGANIZED LDS church that allows polygamy. No one makes that distinction so it pisses us off because, well, people flat out refuse to acknowledge it. They're two completely different churches with two completely different beliefs about marriage and family and even the Bible. Even the national media perpetuates it, never making the distinction between the original LDS church and all the little off-shoots. So I'm just doing my little part to say that "Big Love" is not about Mormons/LDS church members. It's about the Reorganized LDS church. Completely different group of people. (Kind of wacky people if you ask me, but that's because I think polygamy is gross.)

That's interesting, Sara; didn't know that. Thanks.

K-guy, youse has tossed gauntlet. Let us cogitate a bit foist.

SCC: da gauntlet.

Curmudgeon--

A "Mexican sheriff who is suprisingly literate"? Good for the director and screenwriter! It seems to me that there are all too few movies that treat Mexicans with the sensitivity seen in that classic movie "The Wild Bunch".

--Nat

Joel "thesurprisinglyliterateMexicansheriff" Achenbach? Nah, no way.

There are 6 million (licensed!) drivers in New Jersey. 800,000 of them carry a baseball bat in the car.

There are only 50,000 actual softball players.

Re: "Big Love".
I don't get polygamy.

Marriage and children with one woman is difficult enough.

More than that just seems like asking for Big Trouble sooner or later.

Then, that's what the series would be about then, wouldn't it?

bc

bc,

Along those lines, Jeremy once said that he didn't get polygamy because what guy wants to hear "Not tonight, I have a headache" over and over again each night?

He's da scribe, so here ya go:

"Inky" Achenbach

Youse gotta problem wit dat?

PS As a "peasantvision" viewer, I also lack HBO and so missed Big Love. Canada has recently been studying polygamy with a view to whether to decriminalize it. Link here: http://www.swc-cfc.gc.ca/pubs/pubspr/0662420683/index_e.html

It's got to be a good fit. I mean, much as he might wish to be known as Joel the Bulldog, he ain't. Probably needs to be a mammal, although Joel the Budgerigar does have a ring to it. Ditto Joel the Pangolin and Joel the Aye-aye. Um, Joel the Jackalope?

Does anyone know when Rome starts up again? I remember jw watched it. Did anyone else?

Not that it'll do me any good because I don't have HBO. It will actually just make me more aware that I'm missing it every Sunday night.

Taking of from SonofCarl's suggestion:

Joel "the link-stained wretch" Achenbach?

Actually, I think we may have an unsolvable problem here: the first name, Joel, just isn't a name you can "do" anything with, like add a "y" or some other diminutive form, etc. "Joel" just kinda sits there, shrink-wrapped and immune from play. I mean, even Shirley Ellis couldn't do anything with it.

(No offense meant, Joel. Just callin' 'em like I sees 'em.)

Texan Bill Paxton and I share the same birthday, so I watch his projects closely.

Yesterday morning I put a call in to the new public editor at the San Antonio Express-News, Bob Richter, with a comment. Haven't heard back from Ricter yet. The situation is thus:

Book editor Steve Bennett recently wrote about Doris Kearn Goodwin's book, "Team of Rivals" and her Tuesday night guest lecture at Trinity University. Bennett led with the outhouse joke in "Team of Rivals" in his write-up. When it came to Bennett accurately communicating the outhouse joke that Goodwin used last Tuesday when she spoke at Trinity--about what Ethan Allen said that Brits did when they saw the picture of George Washington on the wall of one of their outhouses--well, the real word--the word that Goodwin penned--was struck (by San Antonio Express-News editors?) and replaced with (expletive), about which I already Boodled and that I thought was funny, seeing as how I had used a much closer approximation to the "truth of the speech" on the Boodle.

Well, lo and behold, on page 14J of Sunday's S.A. Life & Culturas section there was an article about the new HBO drama "Big Love" debuting last night after HBO's "Sopranos." The headline for the aticle about the Mormon/Bill Paxton vehicle in our local Sunday paper?: 'Big Love' draining for polygamist.

I myself might have written the headline thusly: 'Big Love' taxing for polygamist.

How is it that there can be a headline full of such sexual innuendo in our local Express-News, but book editor Bennett can't even write the word (expletive)?

I called Richter to speak about the obvious contradiction...but I'm not waiting next to the phone for his return call...

Joel Achen-full-bach-al

"Joel" da anything just doesn't have that Bronx Tale/Godfather/Goodfellas ring to it. All I could think of is Joey da Joule (since he likes science)?

Excuse me! I've played with Joelly many, many times. Joelly Bob...ever since he stuck me with LindaLoo.

K-guy, keep working those mammal names. You're already on the road to brilliance...

Boo: Mudge beat me to it.

Joel-fulla-Bock
Joel-fulla-Bock-stops-here
Joel-fulla-Schl*ck
Joel-Schlitter-wort

Joel 'da Mole

Still can't think of a good day-to-day nickname, but when he hasn't posted anything for a few days he becomes Joel "kit man due" Achenbach.

The polygamy thing came up because of the Supreme Court decision on gay marriage. The rulings have put all kinds of things in doubt and one of them is this. Lately in this country there has been a trend to have the Supreme court write law, rather than interpreting law. Its got to stop.

If this country cannot get the marriage thing straightened out, people are gonna go postal. Of course in Canada, going postal is very civilised and usually means we'd be calling our MP's.

For a tutorial on the "Reorganized LDS" church (as mentioned by Sara), read Jon Krakauer's book "Under the Banner of Heaven". 'Creepy' is the nicest word I can use to describe this sect and wow, isn't the casting of Grace Zabrisky truly inspired?

Polygamy kind of reminds me of the martyrs promise of seventy virgins in heaven. After the first fifty or eighty days in heaven, what are you left with?

And don't confuse that "reorganized" church with the Community of Christ, based in Independence, Missouri, which once was called the "Reorganized Latter Day Saints." They never supported polygamy.

Mudge, that was inspired.

I was thinking maybe The Blog Achenbach, but that is more appropriate if Joel becomes the arch nemesis of a superhero.

Whack-enbach also seems unlikely.

haven't ever seen the sopranos. if they keep killing people off though, maybe they should introduce some more new characters. say, tony hires a new hit-man, someone real trigger-happy. dick cheney anyone?

Page 242 in the Loomis genealogy tome:

3274 Elizabeth Loomis, b. Mch. 19, 1816. Married Vincent Shurtliff. He had 3 or more wives. Tradition has it that Brigham Young at one time wished to marry Elizabeth, but she would not. She d. May, 1861. Salt Lake City, Utah.

I've tried to get a researcher with the LDS to corroborate this story from our family's history, but $$$ are involved, and no dice, the Mormons being a little mum about it. Anyone have any leads for me?

I can't do anything with the first name, but following his propensity for porch sitting, his last become Achenbaccanalia quite nicely. This has likely been suggested previously somewhere which is why it is in my brain. I am incapable of coming up with this stuff on my own but if I read it, is lodges at the edges and becomes trivia fodder.

Joel "the Brain" Achenbach
Joel "Smiley" Achenbach
Joel "Porchy" Achenbach
Joel "Ashy" Achenbach

I vote fer nummer tree, yougottaproblemwiddat?

Joel the Mole
Joel the Guacamole

70 vastly disappointed women?

LL, see 12:10

Also, how about Guacamole Joel.

I'd have to vote for 3 scottynuke.

Billy the Joel...sorry, couldn't resist.

Joel "The Porcher" Achenbach.

Or, how about just, "The Achenbach."

I would like to see Ian Caldwell of Princeton and his sidekick Dustin Thomason of Harvard tackle "The Book of Moroni."

Maybe a sequel: "Hypnerotomoroni."

http://www.lightplanet.com/mormons/basic/bom/overview/moroni_eom.htm

The Carbucks Kid.

No, starting to sound too western.

Better: Guacamole Joelly

Mudge writes:
70 vastly disappointed women?

Why take disappointment and multiply it by any factor?

Johnnie Carbucks
Daddy Carbucks
Bucky Carbucks

Maybe just "Porchy"

Shootout at the WaPo Corral?

Daddy Starbucks

Moroni, macaroni, Marconi

"Schlemiel, schlimazel, hasenpfeffer incorporated!"

Joel "Post-man" Achenbach

Joel "The Thread" Achenbach

Joel "The Heat" Achenbach (in honour of Global Warming Tuesdays)

Joel "Spaceman" Achenbach (in honour of the book)

Joel da Jinx

I had a black cat named Jinx when I was a kid. Actually there may have been two - neither was long lived...Wasn't there a cartoon Jinx the cat?

I think it's time for Joel to reveal his middle name. That might help (although I do like Joel "the Post man" Achenbach.

Somewhere out in the world, Joel is reading this boodle with his head in his hands, muttering, "What have I done...what have I done...what have I done...."

Joel "Sling Blade" Achenbach: "Heh, heh, heh. I like the way you blog!"

Mudgy Achenbach

http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/Set/1173/nickn.html

Joel "Rick" Achenbach: "Of all the blog joints, in all the towns, in all the cyberworld, they had to walk into mine."

Just read in the Dominic Chianese chat that he played Johnny Ola in Godfather II. Never realized that.

Joel "Blistas" Achenbach.

- Da Big 'J'
- Back Breakin' Achen

Re. the LDS, I knew a couple of LDS gents, two of the nicest, most moral, decent hard-working people I've ever known.

That said, I think Mitt Romney's campaign should be interesting.

Joel "Captured and Released by Aliens Without Being Probed or Otherwise Seriously Harmed" Achenbach

'Dead Presidents' Achenbach
This slang term typically refers to money. Only we know that it means some creepy old dude living in Joel's basement!

I don't call him Joelly for nuttin', folks.

Joel L. Achenbach
Lecturer in English
B.A., Princeton University

http://www.georgetown.edu/undergrad/bulletin/faculty_a.html

Joel Lachenback
Joel Laid Bach
Joel Laughing Bach
Joel Laughing Brook
Loel Laughing Back

Joel Laid Back and took everything I could dish/whip out.

I gotta say, I really like both "Blistas" (even though I don't understand its reference, if it has one) and also Da Big J.

Mudge,
John Lennon, Blistas

Joel da chair Porcherelli

Google has something new and nifty today:

http://www.google.com/mars/

If you go to their home page, just click on the first letter "o" to get to the same place.

I've never been any good at nicknames. Maybe "Joey Ack-Ack".

I guess "Da Big A" just doesn't have the same ring to it!

mostlylurking, could you be thinking of Felix the Cat? My kids had a Felix the Cat clock. Full frontal black/white cat, clock face in tummy, tail wagging tick-tocking. I've tried to find one for No. 1 gg-boy's room, but no luck.

Jinx the cat "hated meeces to pieces"

Mr. Jinx was a cat on 'Meet the Parents'

Now, what does the L stand for?

Lester = camp of the legion
Lee = meadow
Lincoln = residence name
Lorenzo = variation of Lawrence
Lazarus = God will help
Lionel = lion-like
Leopold = patriotic
Lombard = long beard
Levi = united
Lemuel = dedicated to God
Lancelot = land
Lamar = famous
Lloyd = grey
Laban = white
Loring = famous in war
Lyndon = linden tree
Lysander = liberator

Hello everyone. Didn't watch the Sopranos(?) last night. I went to sleep, just too tired. They're always whacking someone on that show. I liked it when it first started, didn't seem to be so much violence?

A name for Joel. What about "Kneecaps"? He seems like a kneecap to me, although I seriously doubt if any name would suit Joel other than the one he has, I mean check out the picture. Does this guy look like a hard core name would fit him? Pleeez.

As to Bill Paxton's movie, didn't see that either. Couldn't get excited about one man trying to humor three or more women. It reeks of something, just can't put it into words. I believe they're running out of stuff to put on TV. Probably been run out. Spongebob is looking better and better. And Jimmy Neutron. Fairly Oddparents. You know the list.

Joel "Triple X" Achenbach- cuz it's nuttin' but goils at his house.
Joel "Remaindered" Achenbach- in honor of his many books.
Joel "Wee Gene" Achenbach- since he took over Weingarten's gig in the WaPoMag.
Or even Joel "WaPoMag" Achenbach. It's a little tortured to pronounce, but torture is a part of this whole thing of ours, capice? It sounds vaguely Italian (the Wap sound) and vaguely large caliber (with the Mag sound). I kind of like it. Let's toss them all in the bay and see what washes up on shore next week...

"J-LA" flows nicely from the middle initial, but we won't subject him to that, nor should we go the extra step from Loomis' 1:20 and make a nickname involving "Broke" and "Bach".

The Princeton alum status raises a few possibilities: Joel The Tiger, Joel "Ivy Boy" Achenbach.

I like either "The Blogger" or just "The Joel."

Joel "The Blogger" Achenbach

Joel "The Joel" Achenbach

Off Topic (for you, maybe, but not for me):

Anyone who uses a root canal as an example of something horrible obviously has never had to have one. Anything that can relieve pain so well is far from horrible.

Even Further Off Topic (but not really if you follow me at all):

Someone needs to invent a yogurt container that, when empty, can still hold up a spoon without falling over.

Didn't Joel once say his middle name was "Drivel".

So how about Joel "The Driveller" Achenbach.

Hey he said it first.

TBG, try using a plastic sppon.

TBG, I would have thought that those conical Yoplait containres would do the job.

Joel "Jeepers, Ivy Creepers" Achenbach

Did Joel work on his school/Princeton U. newspaper?
Joel "The Prince" Achenbach

Or we could go wholly Mark Twain on Joel:
Joel "The Prince and the Pauper" Achenbach
Joel "The Jumping Toad" Achenbach

Thanks, SonofCarl at 1:40 p.m.

Or a dessert spoon, that's actually the kind I use. Though they can barely reach the bottom of the container they do the job quite nicely.

Who remembers "sniglets"? One of my favorites was the term for a Star Wars actor you had never seen before and therefore knew was about to bite the dust: "Deathespian".

Oh, for crying out loud, TBG, now look what you've done. Now we're talking about @#$@$ yogurt containers! We've got a job to do, people, let's focus! Um, on whatever Joel was talking about.

Sara: My local supermarket video department rents DVD's of most all popular HBO programs for us "cable free" citizens. Keep looking. But then again, you've got to be willing to devote the time to the whole series. I'm waiting for "Rome" to come out in DVD. Just a matter of time.

How 'bout "Joel Methane Achenbach?

OffTopic: can any one explain Amazon.com packaging??? I just received a book with the dimensions 9.5" x 6.5" x 1" in a box with the dimensions 12.25" x 9.5" x 4.75". That's 89% air?!?!?!

Ha, ha, can't wait to see Joel's reack to all this when he gets back to the ofc.

On a side note, I vented a little regarding the fact that today is Lost Monday, the day American business is sacrificed to the NCAA Men's Basketball tournament.

http://www.10thcircle.com/10/?cat=4
bc

omni, I think Amazon (and most shippers) rely on air to cushion the precious cargo. I usually do the opposite - find a box or envelope that's just barely big enough, then worry about whether it will get to its destination undamaged (it does). But yeah - I love getting CD's in a box big enough for a refrigerator.

(CowTown, we're talking about containers, which is TBG's fault. A thousand apologies - but I've never seen the Sopranos, so can't contribute much to that.)

Galaxy Quest has my favorite depiction of the 'Deathespian' phenomenon. The one Galaxy Quest actor frets that he is doomed to die because he was never even given a name on the show.
The actor who now plays 'Monk' says to him: "Maybe you are the plucky comic relief".

Guy Fleegman: I'm not even supposed to be here. I'm just "Crewman Number Six." I'm expendable. I'm the guy in the episode who dies to prove how serious the situation is. I've gotta get outta here.

Curmudgeon - When Joel is working hard, or at least pretending to be working hard, he sometimes like to quote the exclamation at the end of Helter Skelter, by The Beatles: "I got blistas on my fingas!"

[the crew is on a shuttle descending to an alien planet]
Guy Fleegman: I changed my mind. I wanna go back.
Alexander Dane: After the fuss you made about getting left behind?
Guy Fleegman: Yeah, but that's when I thought I was the crewman that stays on the ship, and something is up there, and it kills me. But now I'm thinking I'm the guy who gets killed by some monster five minutes after we land on the planet.
Jason Nesmith: You're not gonna die on the planet, Guy.
Guy Fleegman: I'm not? Then what's my last name?
Jason Nesmith: It's, uh, uh - -I don't know.
Guy Fleegman: Nobody knows. Do you know why? Because my character isn't important enough for a last name, because I'm gonna die five minutes in.
Gwen DeMarco: Guy, you have a last name.
Guy Fleegman: DO I? DO I? For all you know, I'm "Crewman Number Six".

OK, TBG, that was supposed to be our trivia question, but if you're going to put people to work on it, they're gonna find out eventually

Joel "The King" Achenbach

no kiddin'

Elvis's middle name was Aron, or Aaron?, "The King" was just his *nickname*.

San Antonio summer feat to beat heat:

Freeze your yogurt of choice in ice cube trays, then suck on the frozen cubes. Sweet treats.

Ok, then, how about Joel "Blistafingas" Achenbach?

TBG, that would be The Artist Currently Known as "Tony Shalhoub."

Elvis was named by illiterates, therfore he was named phonetically. That is my theory. Elvis Aron Presley. Then again, the ScienceSpouse's first and middle names each are the masculine version of gender-neutral homophones (or whatever you call a name like "Pat").

How about those hermetically sealed CDs?! You know, you've got your snack, tea and crumpets, gg-baby is peacefully sleeping, the fire is just right and oh boy the CD you've been waiting for was in today's mail and you're going to settle down, relax and listen away. But you can't get the damn thing open. Tea's getting cold, fire needs another log, you finally break through that cellophane (it **looks** so fragile). But now you must contend with the sticky foil tabs. Two broken fingernails later, you grab the scissors and launch an attack. Plastic container flies open, CD falls and rolls across the floor into the kitchen and under the refrigerator. You lament (curse) aloud; the gg-baby wakes up and boo hoos. You give up. The agony of defeat.

I zhink vee haff a Weiner!

****GLOBAL WARMING ALERT****

It has hit a record 83­­º in DC.

On another note re sweaters v. non-sweaters. I was out for a walk earlier. Wearing my lightest clothes in color and weight. Walking into the breeze I was still working up a sweat. Coming the other way was a woman wearing black calf high suede boots, black panty hose, black knee length skirt, and a thick black corduroy jacket (don't what was underneath as it buttoned all the way up. On the way back to the office I passed this same woman going back the way she originally came from. Beads of sweat had broken out all over my forehead. Her, not a drop. AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH, life is not fair.

sorry about the shouting and the double sfc in my previous post (said in a whisper)

Henceforth and from this day forward the Jo-el, all great and powerful Oz, I mean Blogmeister el Supremo, shall be known as Joel "Blistafingas" Achenbach. Won't his mother be pleased!

My little desktop blinky weather thing says 84 degrees.

A friend just send me this factoid, apparently culled from Utne:

Number of peer-reviewed scientific journal articles about global warming published between 1993 and 2003: 928. Percentage that cast doubt on human-caused global warming: 0 (zero).

Number of hard-news stories about global warming published by The New York Times, Washington Post, Los Angeles Times and Wall Street Journal between
1988 and 2002: 3,543.
Percentage that cast doubt: 53.

In the last couple hours, the Powers That Be listed the Achenblog on the home page in the Opinions block (right under Condi's picture). Just wait til somebody in authority over there actually reads this thing and discovers 98% of it is devoted to giving Joel a nickname. Well, we can always blame it on heat stroke.

A WaPo Home Page link is a terrible thing to waste.

We're safe 'mudge. No one clicks.

Joel "GasPlanet" Achenbach.

Omni, this may come as a shock, but that was no woman you saw. That was an alien. For some reason ET's have a lot of trouble replicating human perspiration systems, so their responses are often inappropriate. I'll just leave you with two questions because I've probably said too much already. Have you ever seen Dick Cheney sweat? Have you ever seen Marion Barry when he wasn't sweating?

Would seem to depend on what sort of spoon.

Three-part post:

1.) The best line from Galaxy Quest, along that same theme is:

"Quick! Let's get out of here before something kills Guy!"

2.) My Weatherpop toolbar thermometer said it his 87 degrees in Fairfax today. It gets its info from www.weather.gov, whatever that is.

3.) kb... Ooops. But they haven't figured it out by now. You gave them the biggest clue of all.

"Blistafingas" works for me.

Is anybody watching Hustle on AMC?

No, we're all watching The Thermometer on The Window.

if that were an alien i wouldn't mind an abduction if you know what i mean

Off Topic: I was always impressed by Lassie's ability to remember her lines:

Lassie: Grr, whine, ruff!

Timmy: What's that girl? Oh, Dad's in some sort of trouble.

Lassie: Grr, ruff, woof, arf!

Timmy: Dad fell down the well?!

Lassie: Grrrr, ruff, woof, arf bow wow!

Timmy: Good idea, girl, I'll get a rope and throw it down the well to Dad.

Lassie: Grrrr, barkety bark bark! Whine, whine, grr.

Timmy: What's that girl? You'll run to town and get the sheriff then phone Mom and I should keep Dad company at the well until help arrives?

Lassie: Arf.

Timmy: Good girl.

Lassie: Smile.

Hi Scotty! Glad to see you back.

I think we've scheduled a BPH for Thursday, April 6.

5:00 pm. at McCormick & Schmick's at 1652 K Street NW.

Is that right, bc, mo and pj? Did we settle on April 6?

TBG

Thanks, TBG! Do we have to bring blossoms?? :-)

OK, somebody's gotta ask the question: Where is Ol' Blistafingas today anyway?

Nani, you're a hoot. Woof!

Actually, Nani, Lassie got it wrong every once in a while. In fact, that second line is supposed to be:

Lassie: Grr, woof, ruff, woof!

She adlibbed the extra "arf" and nearly got fired for it. (Little-known "fact")

Off Topic gave me a new idea:

Joel "Mad Blog" Achenbach

tbg, unless you are allergic to the wonder stuff. If you are allergic to the stuff, the potion causes a pain worse than death, worse than the pain of a dental abcess way way worse than a root canal. Ok, its not really pain, but trust me you will wonder if you could possibly live through it.

Just came back from lurking around Leslie Steiner's blog "On Balance". Good grief, are those folks vicious! We may get some small scha·den·freu·de from Joel “Babyface” Achenbach’s misadventures with the Ms. A, and the Achenkiddies. We even poke each other gently in the eye from time to time. (A notable exception would be Mr. Lonemule, but I’ve seen him dump his signature load all over the blogosphere.)

However, there is full-scale global thermonuclear (gender) warfare raging over there. Run for your lives.

Joe's apparently blista-ing some fingas. That or he's taking the day off.

SCC - Joel's

RIP Maureen Stapleton, age 80. A great actress.

Joel's middle name is Leroy?

It all makes sense.

So DaVinci Code-ish. So French!

Bad, Bad Leroy 'Bach

Well the south side of D.C.
Is the baddest part of town
And if you go down there
You better just beware
Of a man named Leroy 'Bach

Now Leroy more than trouble
You see he stand ’bout six foot one
All the downtown ladies call him Treetop Lover
All the mens just call him Sir

And it’s bad, bad Leroy 'Bach
The baddest blogger in the whole damn town
Badder than old King Kong
And meaner than a junkyard dog

Now Leroy he a gambler
And he like his fancy clothes
And he like to wave his diamond rings
In front of everybody’s nose
He got a custom Continental
He got an Eldorado too
He got a 32 gun in his pocket for fun
He got a razor in his shoe

And it’s bad, bad Leroy 'Bach
The baddest writer in the whole damn block
Badder than old King Kong
And meaner than a junkyard dog

I think it's actually LeRoy, judging from this prescient exchange with Joel on a WaPo Live Online Discussion in April 2001:

====

Washington, D.C.: Here's a stumper. Suppose the unthinkable happens, and we go to war with China. Could you still do the Rough Draft?

Would it be horribly gauche to make fun of a sitting president who happened wearing the commander-in-chief hat especially prominently at the moment?

Joel Achenbach: Journalists are citizens. If drafted I will serve. But if I did propaganda I'd change the byline to J. LeRoy Achenbach (which is my actual name, FYI).

====

So, I guess he really is Joel "The King" Achenbach.

Sorry Joel. You shoulda been here to defend yourself. You know better than to leave us 'boodlers home alone without a babysitter.

Joel must be glad y'all settled on Blistafingers before someone suggested
Joel "Da Hair" Achenbach.

Me, I favor something simple, like Joel Da Pen. And for THE Tom, Tom Da Knife.

TBG,
You and kbertooch laid a thick line of clues

*she said, awakening from her afternoon nap*

It's all so DaVinci Code-ish as I said, or so Hypnerotomachia.

Vive la vie Boheme!

But King of what?

King of SWAT? ...1955 Williams
King of the Road? ...Roger Miller
Man who would be ...Rudyard Kipling

kbertocci,

Elvis Presley's middle name was Aron. They were a poor family and could only afford one 'a'.

[I'm usually opposed to the term "Tom the Butcher." Not quite sure what came over me. I guess I was a victim of mob mentality.]

King of Nothing (lyrics: Seals and Croft)

When I was seventeen I dreamed of being king and
Having everything I wanted
But that was long ago and
My dreams did not unfold so
I'm still the king of nothing

When I was seventeen I dreamed I gave a ring to
A pretty queen and then I held her
But that was slumber's fault for
I have no love at all and
I'm still the king of nothimg

If I could rule I'd dance my cares away
Find romance every day
I wouldn't have to listen to this poor fool say
I'm the king
I'm the king
I'm the king of nothing

[break]

If I could rule I'd dance my cares away
Find romance every day
I wouldn't have to listen to this poor fool say
I'm the king
I'm the king
I'm the king of nothing

TBG and Scottynuke,

Thursday, April 6th is okay with me for the next BPH. I think bc was in negotiation with his wife over the date.

pj writes:
kbertocci,

Elvis Presley's middle name was Aron. They were a poor family and could only afford one 'a'.

Same with my mother-in-law--now deceased, bless her soul--whose name is/was Jaunita.

>But King of what?

Loomis, to add to your list:
The Police - King of Pain

Doesn't seem to fit Joel though. For what it's worth, I do know the lyrics to "The King of The Road" by heart.

Forgot to say, Welcome back, Scottynuke and Bayou Self.

[Hmmmm. You both reappear at the same time. *Now* do you see why I might have once thought you were both the same person? :)]

And speaking of the Cherry Blossom Porching Hour, what ever happened to RA? (RA mentioned the possibility of a visit to D.C. to attend a CBBPH.)

Of course, in French the King of Pain would be the King of Bread. That might work.

dreamer - i'm LOVING reading your experiences and i'm soooo achenjealous - i'm trying to catch up on today's boodle so please to forgive! and yes, mostlylurking (right boodler i hope) i fell asleep at a greatful dead concert - i'm really not a hippy and that kinda music makes me yawn...

btw - interesting not important fact about canada geese - their poop has no bacteria... yep - canandian geese poop has no buggies...

Joel could be King of The Good Pain [Au Bon Pain].

umm... canandian goose poop...

Really, mo? Completely clean poop? Who woulda thunk?
The things I learn on this blog!

Just, FYI, CanadianGoosePoop is available as a Comments handle.

trying to google it to see if it's totally absolutely true but it was told to me by a navy lt - apparently they spent lots of time face first in goose poop in officer school...

[To counteract any umbrage Joel might be taking at the King of Nothing lyrics, I'm going to post the King of Pain lyrics. (Because being the king of pain has gotta be, like, way better than being the king of zip, right?)

King of Pain

There's a little black spot on the sun today
It's the same old thing as yesterday
There's a black hat caught in a high tree top
There's a flag-pole rag and the wind won't stop

I have stood here before inside the pouring rain
With the world turning circles running 'round my brain
I guess I'm always hoping that you'll end this reign
But it's my destiny to be the king of pain

There's a little black spot on the sun today
(That's my soul up there)
It's the same old thing as yesterday
(That's my soul up there)
There's a black hat caught in a high tree top
(That's my soul up there)
There's a flag-pole rag and the wind won't stop
(That's my soul up there)

I have stood here before inside the pouring rain
With the world turning circles running 'round my brain
I guess I'm always hoping that you'll end this reign
But it's my destiny to be the king of pain

There's a fossil that's trapped in a high cliff wall
(That's my soul up there)
There's a dead salmon frozen in a waterfall
(That's my soul up there)
There's a blue whale beached by a springtide's ebb
(That's my soul up there)
There's a butterfly trapped in a spider's web
(That's my soul up there)

I have stood here before inside the pouring rain
With the world turning circles running 'round my brain
I guess I'm always hoping that you'll end this reign
But it's my destiny to be the king of pain

There's a king on a throne with his eyes torn out
There's a blind man looking for a shadow of doubt
There's a rich man sleeping on a golden bed
There's a skeleton choking on a crust of bread

King of pain

There's a red fox torn by a huntsman's pack
(That's my soul up there)
There's a black-winged gull with a broken back
(That's my soul up there)
There's a little black spot on the sun today
It's the same old thing as yesterday

I have stood here before inside the pouring rain
With the world turning circles running 'round my brain
I guess I'm always hoping that you'll end this reign
But it's my destiny to be the king of pain

king of pain
king of pain
king of pain
I'll always be king of pain...

-- Sting

[With due credit to Error Flynn for planting the King of Pain tune cootie in my head.]

Oh, dear. I've just been outed in real life. I ran into an acquaintance with whom I had lost contact and she said "Achenbach sometimes writes about this guy ScienceTim. Is that you?"

I'll ask the ScienceSpouse about April 6.

It's good to be back, Tom. Every four weeks, a certain monthly publication where I am employed stumbles upon the amazing revelation that it is time to push another issue out the door. This last time around, they didn't realize it until perhaps halfway through that fourth week. Craziness ensued and playtime suffered.

Oh my goodness, SciTim -- your worlds have collided Big Time!

Bayou:
"they didn't realize it until perhaps halfway through that fourth week."
Ha!
[And you just *know* the same thing's going to happen next month, don't you.]

Now that is why I love this blog. We go from the really deep stuff of appropriate names to poop.

I have vast personal experience cleaning imbedded goose poop from the soles of shoes and hems and knees of young boys pants. It is not clean by any means.

I might consider taking CanadianGoosePoop as my handle, but it's too many keystrokes to type SCC free. I often have trouble with just dr.

Hi, mo! Was that you walking by omni today (all in black)? Thanks for confirming my recollection about the Dead concert. Hope you're feeling better.

Canada goose poop does cause contamination problems when it gets into water. Canada geese are considered a pest around here because of that. So maybe they just tell the people who have to be face first in it that it's bacteria free - ha! - or maybe I'm wrong (it happens a lot). And I still want to call them Canadian geese.

Op-ed columns for sale or rent
Webspace to let...fifty cents.
No Pulitzer articles to be made
I don't get no expenses paid
Ah, but..two hours of tappin' keys
Buys a place in the suburbs, if you please,
I'm a man of means by no means
King of the blog.

Global warming to recipes
Aaron Burr...release me please.
Old worn out kit and boodle too,
I haven't paid my WaPo dues,
I relate funny anecdotes I have found
Short, but they seem to get around
I'm a man of means by no means
King of the blog.

I've read every boodle-ier on all of my blogs
I've heard of all of their children, and all of their dogs
And every non sequitor in all of the threads
And I wonder what's going on
In their heads.

I write,
Op-ed columns for sale or rent
Webspace to let...fifty cents.
No Pulitzer articles to be made
I don't get no expenses paid
Ah, but..two hours of tappin' keys
Buys a place in the suburbs, if you please,
I'm a man of means by no means
Le Roi de la blog.

I am extremely dubious of the assertion that the feces of any healthy Canada goose contains no bacteria. If this were the case it would not bode well for the goose. We all need a certain amount of beneficial intestinal bacteria for proper digestion.

Incidentally, goose crap is slicker'n hot snot and befouls every boat, slip, and dock on the Potomac because the winged pests no longer migrate and are overpopulating the area. I'd be interested to see how the incidence of bird strikes at National Airport has gone up over the years. My oft repeated solution is to cull the flock and feed the homeless. The inevitable response is "Oh no, don't kill the pretty gooses!"

Ha ha, SonofCarl -- that's great!

("And I wonder what's going on in their heads"! Indeed. After today's performance, I'm wondering if we'll ever hear from Joel again.)

SonofCarl, that's great! You're giving Curmudgeon and CowTown some real competition.

This boodle is just brimming with talent!

"Brimming" might not be the best word, TBG.

Holy cow. I go to remote West Virginia for a story, a clean escape, into the National Radio Quiet Zone, a place where a cellphone is worthless and wireless Internet access a matter of controversy, where you can't pick up anything on the radio but a rock station leaking over from Roanoke and the staticky NPR station from Virginia Tech, and when I finally check into the blog it turns out that everyone's been making fun of me. Talking about my middle name, my various disfigurements, my goiter, my chronic and nearly fatal case of flyaway hair. But kudos to SonofCarl for the great lyrics.

It seems you have two options, Achenbach:
To be ignored, or to be made fun of.
(That is the question.)

[As for your goiter, you know that even we would not go there.]

I was going to say, we worked in goose poop and yogurt containers too - but that doesn't sound right!

I do love the word "goiter." It's almost as good as "carbuncle."

Who is this SonofCarl? Is it possibly Mudge using another handle?

Yo man Big Daddy J. don't be talkin' 'bout no chronic man, unless ya got some...

(With apologies to Robert Townshend and "The Hollywood Shuffle".)

The proper word is "excrescence" Tom Fan. We don't say "goiter" here.

Flyaway hair is a sign of genius.

i'm starting to think i was dupped about the goosepoop thing... there's lots and lots o it around dc!

and joel - remember - we kid b/c we *heart*!

I recently made the mistake of getting my haircut at work. Now I look like the unnatural progeny of a Mafia hitman and Dennis the Menace.

RD, I guess you must work at a Haircuttery. Ha ha ha ha ha.

hey, i didn't get my book today but i got my BLACK achenbach t-shirt!!!!! THANKS TBG!!!!

I'm due for a trim myself and anticipate receiving a funny-lookin' haircut or two before I find a regular hairdresser here in Hong Kong. I'll let you know how it goes. (I too have a near-fatal bad-hair condition. That's why it's OK for me to make fun of the Achenhair. You've gotta laugh or you'll cry.)

And RD, when I lived in D.C., I always got my hair cut on a Friday after work, to give it time to "settle down" before Monday. Although I liked the way my hairdresser cut it, I didn't like the big-hair effect of the blowdrying and hairspraying -- it made me look like I was about to anchor the 6 o'clock news. (You wish, Achenfan; you wish.)]

I normally get my hair cut by my mother-in-law, who is a professional in the field. Whenever we visit her home in Lancaster County, she graciously gives me a modest trim while I sit in her basement shop sipping coffee and wearing my jammies. This is, of course, the only truly civilized way to have one's hair cut. Alas, this is frowned upon by all but the most avant-garde commercial establishments.
On rare occasions, my schedule forces me to get my hair cut elsewhere. I hate this. In addition to that whole "jimmies" issue, I never really know what I am going to get. Where I work there is a barber shop partially subsidized by the federal government. (I guess I should have seen this coming.) The women who work there evidently get their inspiration from "Soldier of Fortune" magazines published during the Johnson Administration.

mo:
Isn't it great that the Achenshirt comes in all our favorite colors?

I recently purchased, from IKEA, a lime-green "blogging lamp" [my term, not theirs] that goes nicely with my own Achen-T. It's set up in my "blogging corner" (which is basically a windowsill, since we don't have a dining table or porch table yet), where I also keep several Achenbooks, a lime-green Achenclock, and a Buddha statue purhased at the temple yesterday. And a candle.

When we bought our sofa and lounge chairs, we received as a "free gift" (everything comes with a free gift here) a little red vinyl chair that wouldn't look out of place on the Starship Enterprise. My "blogging chair."

[Some serious help needed here.]

I am most certainly not Mudge by another name! (I don't know if I smell as sweet)

You underestimate the attractiveness of this blog, its posters and our erudite and witty leader.

As was eluded to on the 4:40 post, there are some mean streets out there in the blogosphere! This is a nice place to drop in (especially compared to "working").

RD Padouk:
A haircut in your mother-in-law's basement whilst sipping coffee and wearing your jammies? Are you sure that wasn't a dream?

I once went to Supercuts and had my hair cut by a woman who smelled like she'd been smoking dope. At 9 o'clock in the morning. Let's just say it didn't augur [sp?] well.

My wife and teenage son are watching a bald Howie Mandel doing something involving money and a bunch of fashion models. I am still recovering from that whole Regis nightmare, so I thought I would hide over here and make a few random posts. (Joel, this is what you get when so many of your readers only have basic cable.)

Nani: Belated thanks for the info about historical mysteries. I haven’t read a lot because mystery books usually make me feel stupid. Nevertheless, I will check out your recommendations since you are clearly a woman of class. And the bunnies do take raisins from my hand, as long as I hold them away from my body.

Cassandra: The Fairly Odd Parents Rule. Also, I wanted to let me know that you inspire me to try harder. The government has frequently let people down, so I want to break the trend.

And Achenfan: From the BPH pics I think you could give almost any of the newswomen a run for their money. Except Doreen Gentzler, who is a divine being.

Enough wasted bandwidth for one day. Time to go Read With Bunnies. Which is how I am known by the Sioux.

I hate to say it, Loomis, but for a couple of minutes there even EYE thought maybe I was SonofCarl. And in fact I was mentally working on that same song and would have posted it ahead of that imposter had I not been stuck on the bus on 295, which was backed up all the way to Souith Capitol and at a dead standstill. (Took 90 minutes for a 45-50 minute bus ride).

Whether he smells as sweet as me depends upon whether or not I'm wearing my Caribbean Lime aftershave I bought in St. Kitts. Tres yummy.

SonofCarl writes:
I am most certainly not Mudge by another name! (I don't know if I smell as sweet)...

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other word would smell as sweet."

--From Romeo and Juliet (II, ii, 1-2)
Edward De Vere, Earl of Oxford

And what's The Name of the Rose, again?
http://www.mysteryguide.com/bkEcoRose.html

Of course, you wouldn't want to be a rose in La Casa Blanca:

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Oh my, lump in the bed
How I've missed you."

Roses are redder
Bluer am I
Seeing you kissed
by that charming French guy.

I'm shivering with...
I love, love, love Caribbean Lime aftershave! All citrus smells, as a matter of fact, do I love! So fresh, so bracing, so clean, yet with a hint of the dangerous, the provocative.

Loomis! Tell me you're not an Oxfordian! I'm shocked! Appalled!

Ok,get a room you two

You're not the first woman to tell me I was dangerous and provocative, Loomis. In fact, the first was a traffic safety in elementary school, who told me to tie my shoelaces before going out to recess. It's been one conquest after another ever since.

RD and Achenfan, I haven't had a good haircut since 1976. Then I had a great hairdresser (male) in Rockville, MD - he cut my hair short, and I loved it. He moved away. I did too, and wore my hair long for many years, so all it required was a trim. As I got older and grayer, and had to go back to short hair, I have not been able to get a good haircut. It's my hair's fault, not the hairdressers, really, although the Supercuts ESL program could be better. I have always hated getting my hair cut - in high school, I occasionally did it myself, which goes to show that once I had nice hair that could even put up with that!

Re. disfigurements:
Joel, at least I didn't tell 'em about your extra...

Oops, forget it.

SonofCarl, those lyrics are nice.
Where's Roger Miller when you need him?

bc

eeep - the first time I've had the dreaded double word - great great - which he was, although I would've used a comma...

Achenfan, I almost bought a lime green shirt today! St. Paddy's is Fri after all - but it didn't fit quite right...Wow, there's an IKEA in HK? My son works for IKEA, so I encourage all of you boodlers to shop there (at your local store, not in HK). I'm never sure if it should be spelled in all capitals - I always feel like I'm shouting...

Great minds think alike, Mudge. Unfortunately so do other kinds of minds...

De Vere--the bluest of the blue bloods...can't remember who coined the phrase...

For an excellent discussion of the modern fragrance industry start nowhere else but with Chandler Burr (wonder if he's any relation to Aaron?):

The Emperor of Scent : A Story of Perfume, Obsession, and the Last Mystery of the Senses
by CHANDLER BURR

visit amazon.com or any of your other friendly booksellers

SonofCarl: Bravo! Bravo! Great lyrics! *clapping exuberantly*

Achenfan writes:
"It seems you have two options, Achenbach:
To be ignored, or to be made fun of.
(That is the question.)"

There is only one thing in the world that is worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about. (Wilde)

SonofCarl, you are on a roll! The lyrics are great, and the quips are good too. Thanks for joining us...

Canadian geese... sure pretty when you don't live near then and/or have to step through their endless feces.

I have only one answer: Lift leash laws for herding/bird dogs and let them do their job-- and if they catch an odd goose dinner, so be it.

Geese in flight from an excited dog is pretty too.

Wilbrod,
You wouldn't happen to be up Ottawa way, would you?

Brenner--Bradlee-Woodward--Armitage--Plame

I cut down trees, I wear high heels, I wish I had been a girlie, just like my dear papa.

Sit on my face and tell me that you love me, I'll sit on your face and tell you I love you too...

Oh my Achengoodness. I go out for a few hours and come back to discover 'mudge and Loomis burning the midnight oil and singing bawdy songs. And the sit-on-my-face song no less! LindaLoo!

Someone pass the smelling salts . . .

Achenfan
There used to be a pretty good hair salon in the mid-levels call Paul Gerard. Not quite sure of the address...have to wait for my partner's return to confirm. They 'do' western hair....which sounds ridiculous but actually does make a difference.

Thanks, unknown!
I'll see if I can find it through Google, or something.
Greatly appreciated.

no worries.
And congrats on skipping the ahma. I never understood that when I lived there....2 person family (i'm assuming here) living in western accommodation requiring a live-in maid...?Especially when the ahma is expected to live in a closet. I always wonder how these folks do when they return to the 'real world'.

Yeah, unknown.
People seem to be able to justify it to themselves pretty easily -- the need to have someone home for deliveries, "more weather-related upkeep of the apartment than there is back home," not as convenient to do grocery shopping here, etc. [Actually, I'm finding the shopping just as convenient, if not more so.] Or they just do it because it's the done thing, because their employer gave them an allowance for an ahma, and they don't really question it.

Some people say the ahmas have a much better life here than they would in their home countries (Indonesia, Nepal, etc.) -- that you're doing them a favor by employing them. But a lot of them look pretty unhappy to me. And even if they're earning more than they would elsewhere, it's still not much to you or I -- I'd always feel as though I was being exploitative. I told my husband I simply could not get out of my nice bed in my big bedroom every morning to greet an ahma as she was emerging from her windowless broom closet -- with an adjoining bathroom that doesn't even have a proper shower or a bath. He joked, "Oh, but she'd already be up, cooking your breakfast! You wouldn't have to see her sleeping in her quarters!" Bah. I think I can manage getting my own Cheerios. [He doesn't *really* want an ahma -- he's just one of those Devil's-Advocate kind of guys who always likes to argue the opposite case.]

I think it'd be weird having a complete stranger come to live with you under any scenario, never mind the whole servant-master thing. She may turn out to be great company, but who knows. I see women out shopping with their ahmas. The ahma pulls the shopping cart while the "lady of the house" tells her where to go and what to do. (I kind of like shopping alone.) I've also seen ahmas pushing the baby stroller while her employer points to cracks in the sidewalk, metal grates, etc., to be avoided. It's kind of awful to watch.

Often it's the ahma's job to walk the family dog. For some ahmas, that could be the best part of their day; for others (those who don't like dogs, or are scared of them), it could be the worst. The people who lived in our apartment before us had a dog, and I've noticed that the ahma's room has a canine smell to it. I wonder, did the dog sleep in there with the ahma? Was that her choice? Did having the dog in there enhance the quality of her life, or was it a nuisance to her? (I like to tell myself that the dog was particularly fond of the ahma and vice versa -- maybe because I like dogs.)

Anyway, seeing all these ahmas around town reminds me of just how lucky I am. Honestly, sometimes I feel as though I've died and gone to Heaven.

Great lyrics SonofCarl. King of the Blog sounds good.

I saw the Sopranos once and that was enough for me. Someone smothered a little old lady with a pillow and laughed. I was not ready for that type of "humor."

That Discovery Channel ad up on the right side of my screen is certainly graphic as it reflects the type of weather we have been having out here the last few days. High winds, tornados, thunderstorms and snow predicted later today. I think I will go back underground and hibernate some more.

bdl

Little old lady got suffocated late last night
Mobstas of Joisey again
A-ooooow!

[I'm not a Sopranos fan either, bdl. When it comes to HBOs series, my fave is Six Feet Under.]

I'm hitting the road again (long drive through backcountry) but will try to post a kit this afternoon about finding the one place in 20 miles serving food and how it turned out to be pretty bodacious. Ok, it was pizza and a salad, but I thought I was going to have to eat candy for dinner and felt like I'd stumbled onto The Palm out in the middle of nowhere. But now I've given away the plot and ruined the kit. I just can't keep my yap shut.

You folks behave.

Joel, we ARE behaving! We're just doing what the blog does best.

Wait - is Joel implying that candy for dinner is, like, a bad thing?

The only problem with having candy for dinner is, what are you going to have for dessert?

[That said, today I was served a dessert that looked exactly like beef and barley soup. I think there were peas in it. But it was sweet. Edible, but not the sort of thing you'd develop a craving for. No wonder obesity is less common in Asia than in the West.]

Achenfan,

Been meaning to ask you: are there any restrictions there on what websites you have access to?

Re Candy for dinner

Once, long ago, on a family vacation in Glacier National Park, we did a planned day that went like this: my mother and I hiked from point A to point B, about 15 miles, up and over some mountains. Meanwhile, my dad and my brother and sister drove from the same point A to point B--a much further distance by road. My mother and I were both motivated by the prospect that there was a lodge / restaurant at the mid-point of our hike. So we hiked uphill all morning and arrived at the restaurant hungry and psyched, only to find that it didn't open until two hours later. We could have waited but we calculated that we wouldn't make our scheduled rendez-vous if we did, so in order to prevent the family from waiting and worrying, we had candy bars from the vending machine for lunch and continued on our way. We arrived on time, tired and hungry. No dad. No brother and sister. We waited for about three hours before they showed up--they had been delayed by some car misfunction. Oh, the ironies of life.

I'm glad the universe treated Joel a little better. It's my experience in general that solo travelers have fewer mishaps. Flexibility is really valuable out there on the road.

TBG:
Not that I've noticed. (Although Hong Kong has been handed back to China, it's still an entity unto itself, and not subject to the same restrictions. It's a "Special Administrative Region.")

I do find that when I go to the Google site, I automatically land on Google Hong Kong. (A similar thing happens when I Google from Australia.) And when I go to Yahoo to check my e-mail, I see a whole bunch of ads composed entirely of Chinese characters. In other words, They Know Where I'm Coming From.

But as long as I can still find the A-blog and washingtonpost.com, I'm as happy as Larry.

I don't have HBO, have never seen the Sopranos, and suspect a large majority of United Stateans haven't seen it either. It's a violent soap opera, right? Just the latest opiate. Let's all get really excited now. This really good TV show is coming back and for an hour we won't have to think about the US spending Billions to defeat crude explosive devices that are blowing up our kids in Iraq. Okay, I can anticipate this one: Someone will respond with: Those explosive devices aren't crude anymore; they're increasingly sophisticated. Good point. Nothing like being in budget-draining arms race with a bunch of terrorist insurgents. Let's all not think about that and go watch some TV.

When I was a kid we were driving to Florida for vacation (from Virginia) and had packed a lunch to eat on the road. We had a hard time finding a place to stop and by the time we did, we were very, very hungry. We unpacked our sandwiches and began to eat. Then we noticed the little wormy bugs that fell down on us every time the wind stirred the trees above us. We were so hungry, we just brushed them off our sandwiches and kept on eating.

Oh yeah....

Happy Pi Day!

My dad says, you can tell how long someone's been in the Army (in the field) by how they react to bugs in their food. The newbies, if they find an insect in their breakfast cereal, will not eat the cereal. After a few weeks, they'll pick the insect out and go ahead and eat it. Longer than that, there comes a time when they just eat the food, bugs and all. And finally, the real veterans, they realize that every bit of protein helps--you'll see them picking up bugs off the ground, adding them to the chow.

A little Korean War humor...

And happy pi day to you! I just love the friendliness of this blogosphere. We were talking of TV, and finding good eats on long car trips. Why do people always have to bring politics into the discussion? I remember as a young girl, we were on a car trip, driving through Georgia on our way to my Aunt Sarah's. We were sooo hungry. This was before there were McDonalds every few miles. Finally, we happened upon a small country store where mom found a jar of peanut butter, a jar of jam and a loaf of bread. My younger sister, Jenna, didn't want any jam on her sandwich, so she just had peanut butter. Oh, her mouth must have been sticky. This was the time before milk, so we had to drink water. Oh, how good that water tasted after those peanut butter sandwiches. I think mom bought wheat bread. We were all very much into white bread, but we were all so hungry we didn't even care!

JERRY: What do you think the worst part of being blind is?

MASSAGE THERAPIST: Excuse me?

JERRY: You know, if you were blind what do you think the worst part of it would
be?

MASSAGE THERAPIST: I don't know.

JERRY: I think it would be not being able to tell if there were bugs in my food.
How could you ever enjoy a meal like that? I'd constantly be feeling around
with my lips and my tongue.

-- From the Seinfeld episode "The Note"

The rapid-fire back and forth witty repartee between LindaLoo and Curmudge (and bc last week) reminds me of those great tennis matches between John McEnroe and Jimmy Connors. All my friends detested McEnroe but I hearted him with all my heart, even when he lost it! "You stupid jerk! That ball was ON the line! Chalk FLEW UP!!.

Achenfan/Tom fan/Dreamer/BoodleMama - Methinks you ARE in Heaven! Your porch sounds dreamy. The view of the harbor from your porch sounds dreamy. In fact your entire life sounds dreamy! (Been meaning to ask your thoughts on reincarnation). Love, Nani

O.K., folks. We have a problem.

The last post I made last night was the post about Ben Bradlee (with an interview in Vanity Fair) at 1:21 a.m.

The 1:41 a.m. post is not mine. So someone is misappropriating my handle late at night. And that isn't funny.

Doesn't Hal the Schemer have some sort of PC recognition software?

Now, I wonder what Joel is doing in the remote regions of the West Virgin? (This is my post, and it's an historical reference, if you know anything at all about how the colony/commonwealth of Virginia derived its name.)

More egregious still is that my handle is my name, so that person has misappropriated my identity as well.
Identity theft on the Boodle.

I request that the 1:41 a.m. post be removed.

I think there's a naughty joke in there somewhere 'twixt 'mudge and Linda involving someone getting a Pi in the face today.

(Ha, TBG!).

I'd been wondering the same thing about A-fan's 'net access from HK.

When you try Google, A-fan, what to you get?

bc

Uh, oh.

The Return of the 'loper?

I guess I should apologize (or at least take a BOO) for my 9:16 comment, given that it wasn't Linda at 1:41 AM.

Achenfan, please pass the smelling salts.
This stinks.

bc

Loomis,
I immediately 'fessed up the last I inadvertantly doppled you. That was obviously a interloping vandal at 1:41 making a lame Python reference.

I loved that SonofCarl parody and am posting some other lyrics from Sting:

Sister moon will be my guide
In your blue blue shadows I would hide
All good people asleep tonight
I'm all by myself in your silver light
I would gaze at your face the whole night through
I'd go out of my mind, but for you

Lying in a mother's arms
The primal root of a woman's charms
I'm a stranger to the sun
My eyes are too weak
How cold is a heart
When it's warmth that he seeks?
You watch every night, you don't care what I do
I'd go out of my mind, but for you
I'd go out of my mind, but for you

My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun
My hunger for her explains everything I've done
To howl at the moon the whole night through
And they really don't care if I do
I'd go out of my mind, but for you

Sister Moon

These lyrics have significance somewhere on the WaPo.com site today. A patented Stan Lee NoPrize® to whomever figures it out first.

Lord, we take these dreadful Italo-American trash so seriously. A real Italian can cook better, take better care of his body, and dress better than these Neopolitan/Sicilian creeps. The real Italians call them with the N word. That's what they are.

yellojkt, a reference to the chaotic Rock & Roll Hall of Fame induction last night.

The Sex Pistols = still cool after all these years. And all the chemicals.

Ah, do I get the Stan Lee Iron Man prize?

bc

Just tuned in to the boodle and have discovered the 1:39 a.m. post under my handle right in front of the forged Loomis post is also I forgery--I never posted anything at any time close to that time, since I'd been asleep for 2 1/2 hours by then. The last thing I posted was the 9:05 p.m. Most of you veterans probably know Loomis' and my styles by now, and already recognized that neither of us would post anything like that. (Among other things, I don't even understand the 1:39 thing.)

Pretty irritating.

Linda, I must say that I assumed that it was NOT you at 1:41. Just didn't fit.

Also... did you see Sunday's Style Invitational, which asked for new lyrics for the song "Shenandoah" (soon to be our new Virginia state song, but contains no reference to our state)? Here is one you'd like:

The Virgin Queen, that's who you're named for.
But now you're called the state for lovers,
And birthplace of our country's father?
Confused, I'm so confused!
But it's okay, the fleet's in.
(Judith Cottrill, New York)

Thanks, Nani.
Since you asked (and I hope you don't regret it!), reincarnation is something I'm open to. It's the topic of Tom Shroder's book, which I'm wont to plug on this blog. The book really got be thinking about the idea seriously, although I think the seed had already planted -- for some time I'd been thinking, How weird that I should be alive and conscious *now*, rather than at any other time in history. What are the odds? Is it possible I have always been and always will be? Plus I'd been reading a lot about quantum physics, and Buddhism, and other related topics.

The actual logistics of reincarnation are probably not easily understandable -- or even understandable at all. They probably can't be explained in a material, linear way. If "I" have lived before, that person bore little resemblance to the person I am today, just as the person I was 20 years ago is not the person I am today. Moving through the different stages of a life is almost like dreaming a series of dreams and then waking up from them, only to dream new dreams. Yet there is a certain degree of cotinuity.

I tend to believe it's all about our consciousness, or spirit, rather than our bodies and other physical manifestations of what's really going on in our minds. And it's quite conceivable, to me, that time, individual identities, and other aspects of the physical world are but illusions, just like our nightly dreams.

Anyway, as always, I'd recommend Tom's book ("Old Souls: Compelling Evidence From Children Who Remember Past Lives"), as well as the film "What the Bleep Do We Know!?" and various other books listed on the Bleep Web site and in the bibliography at the end of Tom's book.

***************

"What I thought was unreal now, for me, seems in some ways to be more real than what I thought to be real -- which now seems more unreal."

-- Fred Alan Wolf, Ph.D., in the film "What the Bleep Do We Know!?"

[Sorry about the proselytizing, folks. I'm off to bed now. As CowTown says, we now return you to your regularly scheduled 'boodle.]

Unfortunately, Curmudgeon, it's one of the occupational hazards of the Boodle (getting your handle "borrowed," that is). Consider it a compliment.

By the way, the 1:39am post was a line fro