I just call it as I see it.

So, Joel, in what way do American women look like they just fell off a hay wagon? There's a column in that question!

http://www.everything2.com/index.pl?node_id=39949

In France, "Merde" is the standard answer to something that you don't like. The word includes pride and defiance to those who are above you. "Dire merde à quelqu'un" ("to say merde to someone") means to challenge someone's authority even if that person or institution is stronger than you are.

joel, is your 10:24 an answer to slyness at 10:31? *soft twilight zone music*
or are you just responding to all possible umbrage in advance?

compared to the french, i think we all look like we fell off a hay wagon. but hey, we're "proud to be 'merican."

a recent discussion with former europeans about their 6-8 weeks of paid vacation, in france especially, ended with the disclaimer "if you can get a job, of course."

well, i'm glad that joel is back and looking forward to more french kits...

Let's tackle Toulouse-Lautrec:

But more than this (the fascination, particularly for French physicians, to search for "Lautrec's" disease) comes from the belief that this gifted painter made his deformity part of his art.

There may be something to this. As one walks through the Musee d'Orsay in Paris or else the museum in Albi, not too far from Toulouse itself, which is dedicaed to his work, what strikes you are the nostrils. In painting after painting--of th dancer La Goulue, the actress Yvette Guilbert, the socialite May Milton, or many other anonymous Parisian demi-mondaines who inhabit Lautrec's art--what we see are nostrils, gaping, dark and cavernous. It is hardly a flattering view (I wonder what the nostrils of the man looked like whom Joel saw at La Rive Gauche?), but perhaps it is one that would have come quite naturally to the artist, for he was rather short. By the time he was full grown, Lautrec was only 150 centimeters (four feet eleven inches) tall. Critics have also argued that Lautrec's disorder had a more subtle effect on his art: a tendency after 1893 to truncate the limbs of his models so that only the heads and torsos remain in the frame, a device for excluding that part of his own anatomy that he would much rather forget: his legs.

"Mutants: On Genetic Variety and the Human Body," Armand Marie Leroi, Penguin Group, N.Y., 2003

(It's all about perspective. Lautrec called them, or painted them, as he saw them, too.)

You know Joel, you could make some serious coin teaching North Americans the fine art of cafe sitting.

You know, this might be one of my new life goals. To learn how to simply sit in a cafe.

dr, you must first spend a year just meditating on the concept of sitting in the cafe. Only then can you attempt it. It's like the Zen way of learning the bow-and-arrow.

I welcome umbrage. The more the better. Though I will probably be offline and unable to give the umbrage the full attention it surely will deserve. At the risk of being accused of backpeddling I will note that, historically, I have been partial to the all-American, corn-fed, just-fell-out-of-a-hay-wagon look.

Certainly sitting in a Paris cafe' sounds wonderful, except for that part about having to get on an airplace to get there! Also sounds better than another "honey-do" Saturday. Probably going to go house-looking tomorrow; trying to gear up for the sticker shock.

I think I'd be a natural at cafe sitting! OK, I'd probably have to have a book too, in case the view was not so interesting. As for French women with style, I'm sure it's true. And compared to American women, I look like I just came from plowing the field. When I studied Japanese, I felt like a clumsy oaf, next to my graceful, charming, impeccably dressed Japanese teachers.

Toulouse Latrec was an inch taller than me! Ha! Sometimes I think my mission in life is to make short people feel tall.

This is mean, but I found this article about Paris (Hilton) quite amusing:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/08/11/AR2006081101408.html

"I don't view kinkajous as aggressive animals. The same kind of thing could have occurred with a German Shepherd," Mintz said.

My reaction is, let's get her a pit bull! (That's definitely mean - on many levels -a thousand apologies.) Hahahaha.

How very interesting, this very day, to have a look at...hmmm...mellow hardly gets it. But you get a hint of nostalgia for a breed that, while not perky, at least does not, like us, send cluster bombs to the savage Israelis for use on civilians. Nostalgia hardly gets it...

Ah, yes, French women. The men aren't bad either.

The impossibility of describing what makes the French special is illustrated by the number of French phrases we employ in the attempt. We say, she has that certain "je ne sais quoi." She is "soignee." French people exhibit "savoir faire" and "joie de vivre." None of that translates; if it did, we'd just say it in English.

When the movie "Le Divorce" came out, I thought it would be wonderful, but it turned out to be rather mediocre. Even so, it includes valuable information about French culture, in contrast to our own. For instance, there is a whole montage about the various ways that French women wear scarves.

And Thierry L'Hermitte, well, speaking in English I don't have the words to say how wonderful he is. I didn't like the movie, really, but I watched it a second time just to look at him.

Do you think the French sit at cafes because they don't have porches? Or do they?

Joel, you have to keep in mind that the person sitting next to you might have been a foreigner aswel, another tourist.
Because the French I know talk a lot in cafés. They are hardly silent.

It is true that working on your laptop in a café is not done in Galic (France, Belgium) Europe. Bars are places for socialising or pondering the state of the world, not for working.

As for the women, I think the difference is the way make-up is applied. Over here it's done a little more subtily. They use less rouge and lighter colors on the eye lids. That gives women a more natural look.

Joel's mention of Simone de Beauvoir got me thinking about Raymond Fosca (All Men Are Mortal). I can imagine he'd sit at a cafe and have that look of bored indifference down pat. I should read that book next week. Haven't read it yet this year.

I don't know Joel, Either you were sitting in a different sidewalk cafe or things have changed a lot since my wife and I enjoyed the experience for about a week about 10 years ago. Then the cafes were pretty boisterous with everyone chowing down of steamed mussels and frits accompanied with quart sized ice cold mugs of Hienkins.
The street scene was watching slim French women dressed in slacks bustling past eating on the run those fantastic sandwiches made on a slim short french roll that are sold on the sidewalk from little square glassed in booths. My wife's observation was they stay slim by eating on the run and never setting down.
I think the Frence drink Hienkins because it isn't a German beer. Perhaps eurotrash can confirm something I heard that Hienkins can't be sold in Germany because it doesn't confirm to the German formula for beer.
With all the kit required for mussels, frits and mugs of beer, there isn't room for a laptop on the tiny tables at a sidewalk cafe.

kbert;

She has "that certain... special... something..."

NO SINGING!!!

At least I know my "raison d'etre"...

:-)

Bh,

I just had my first moules frites of the year today, so it's funny you mention them.
They are our national dish.
The Belgian version is better because we use different mussels. Ones that come from the estuary of the Scheld river. (just over the border in Holland) They are very big and succulent, and we Belgians buy the whole stock every year.
They have become very expensive. I noticed that the supermarket offered cheaper Greek mussels this year.
Verry invironmentaly friendly, flying those suckers in from the other side of Europe.

I think you meant Heineken beer. If it's not sold in Germany it's probably because it's realy realy bad compaired to the local beer. (or any beer for that matter.)
The French beer "par excelence" is Kronenbourg. It sounds German, but is from France. It think the Alsase region. One can find nearly everywhere.

And nobody does it better, Scotty.

kbert;

But sometime you wish someone would??

*making sure my Union Jack parachute is properly packed while looking over my shoulder for any large men with metal teeth*

:-)

What I know of Paris is from French movies and French-esque movies like Linklater's "Before Sunrise" and "Before Sunset". In the latter case, things started out pretty leisurely, but didn't stay that way. Having encountered these illusions, it would be a shame to visit the actual city, only to be disabused.

Beside, I just figured out the Japan itinerary for October. Gotta watch "Le Samouraï" on dvd.

euro,
Yes, my bad spelling. It's strange about Heineken being consider poor. I have read it's the largest selling beer worldwide. It was the featured beer in the hotel mini bars in Mexico City '81-'82. Probably because intense global marketing and distribution. Something like Bud here in the states. When I was working in Scotland '83 Bud had a big push on there and Scots I knew despised it. But I thought it was a lot better than some stuff they drank like "Shandy". I thought Bud was on par with the largest selling scottish lager "Tennent's". But maybe Tennent's was popular then because it came with a picture on the can of a different scantly clad young lady every month. Here in Northern Califorina and Oregon micro breweries produce some good stuff but it is expensive and usually can't be found in stores outside the local area.

Is Kronenbourg widely distributed?

While on a vacation to Florence, Italy we took a bike ride up out the west side of town to go up and return down the Roman highway. We stopped at a wayside and inn and tried to order a sample of an Italian beer. No such luck, only german was avaliable. We only found Italian beer in Sicily.

If its going to take a year of meditating to prepare for sitting in a cafe, I'd best go make a tidy corner in which to do it.

This is starting to sound like real work.

I am doing laundry today, and realized that my wardrobe only aspires to look like I fell off a hay wagon. The look is more akin early 20th century bum, so I think tommorrow I shall go shopping. My husband will no doubt thank you.

We literary types were sitting in Gemini Ink, a writers' collaborative several weeks ago on a Friday night, when the emphasis was on three winners, women all, who had competed and taken top honors in the first "Celebrate San Antonio" writers' contest--poetry, fiction, and nonfiction. An august panel of writers, well-known locally, also read some of their works; the evening concluding with the published, the finalists, and the assembled all pondered the meaning of San Antonio.

One writer, African-American Sterling Houston, read a short story he had written, a moving and humorous piece about when he first became aware of race, specifically racial differences. Sterling's writing, more than the three others--a Chicana poet, a Jewish journalist, and an Anglo historian transplanted from the Northeast--piqued my interest.

I think the same could be asked of when one first realizes European-ness. The incredible taste of French mustard compared with the French's mustard you were served growing up. The British love of quality goods rather than quantity goods. The Germans' complete openness about their bodies--I first noticed at a large lakeside swimming pool, when the drape--a blanket or beach towel, around a swimmer changing clothes was held up casually and quite carelessly by his friends. The wholesome and naturalness attitudes of the Swedes with sex and sexuality.

Loomis, you are absolutely right. Quality over quantity. That is not just the British. I noticed Germans are the same way. So, when they work less hours and get paid slightly less, they are fine because they don't need one hundred outfits in their wardrobe or a garage full of boxes of stuff they have not unpacked since they moved seven years ago (like my neighbor). So they have time to sit at the corner cafe and watch the world and let their blood pressure be normal.

Loomis, is the short story available online? I'd like to read it.

Back home from Myrtle Beach. It took an eight-hour drive to get here, but at least we could carry all the liquids and gels we liked without being hassled. The Myrtle Beach Experience, as always, consisted of lounging in the sun, drinking bizarre rum-based beverages, eating much fried food, and purchasing colorful shirts. In other words it was sequential damage to epidermis, liver, circulatory system, and bank account.

We had a lot of fun.

And in honor of Joel's French Adventure, I can report that a modest sand castle whose architectural motif was based loosely on the Cathedral of Notre Dame was recently constructed. It had eerily realistic gargoyles and buttresses flying all over the place. It was a thing of beauty, for my children are chock full of artistic talent.

Which is why I let them help.

Scotty: NO SINGING!

Here is a guy that seems to "get it" where W and staff don't.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/08/11/AR2006081101398.html

I'm sure he doesn't have any voice in the Pentagon or the State Dept.

Bah. Enjoy fancing yourself as Sarte or de Beauvoir, and looking for meaning at the bottom of your glass of red wine.

Me, I'm hanging with the Dadaists, drinking beer and making high art out of armpit f@rt noises.

Hmph, just thought of a young lady I dated off and on in HS and college; one of those tres magnifique femmes you spoke of. That lady hadn't crossed my mind in a long, long time...

bc

I remember a French nurse named Marie who worked nights in the ICU. She was a very hard worker. But she always smelled bad because she ate a lot of garlic. Good for digestion she would say. Guess that's why she worked nights. I think she did just fall off the hay wagon. So there.

Good morning, friends. The French. The art of sitting, and doing absolutely nothing. Sounds wonderful. I know nothing about the French. Not even the language. But it sounds wonderful to be in this place, and see the sights, if only those mentioned in this kit.

Glad you enjoyed your beach trip, RD. Too many people at Myrtle Beach for me, and the too expensive for my pocketbook.

a bea c, sorry about getting overlooked in the job thing. Don't give up, you'll probably get an even better job.

I'm probably one of those women that looked like I fell off a wagon. As someone mentioned in the last kit, " bet you're fat", would definitely apply to me. But working on it.

Yesterday turned out to be a nice day, although it rained barrels full to start the day off. G-girl still here. Want to go to church this morning, and perhaps try to take in the park afterwards. It's been so hot, the playground equipment is too hot to get on, but I'm hoping that won't be the case today. G-girl gets so lonesome without other kids to play with. She misses her cousins, my grandsons.

I certainly hope your weekend is going good. Joel, I'm looking forward to other kits about the French. I'm glad you're back and not having to face that air travel.

May all come to know that God loves you so much more than you can imagine through Him that died for all, Jesus Christ.

Round two of the dog show beckons. We took a subjective third yesterday, largely because of faults on the part of the handler (me). Today will be better as we have a legitimate chance at takig best of breed. Slyness and TBG: Have a great time at the inagural Southern Regional BPH.

Good luck, jack! We're rooting for you and the dog!

It is Sunday! The kids have been looking forward to the Watermelon Festival all summer, and it is finally here. Hope everyone has a Sunday as great as I'm expecting mine to be.

Cassandra, have fun with the g-girl. How old is she? Maybe you can plan for a road trip with her and go to the Science Museum in Durham. How far are you from that? It is my son's favorite spot on Earth, other than Five Guys, of course.

good Morning! It's Sunday and my goal, although impossible, is to do nothing today. I think that my religion forbids work, so for the first time in a long while, I'm going to put in a little effort practising my faith and remembering the Holy Sabbath, which got switched from Saturday to Sunday, but I went to church yesterday, and for Catholics, it "counts".

Earlier this week, the Almighty Boss tossed a lightening bolt my way and took out my router, hub and network card. I was lucky once again though. No damage was done that money couldn't fix. I was without power on tuesday morning, and the only thing that changed in my morning get-to-work routine was that I used the gas grill on my deck to boil water for my morning coffee. The whistling kettle woke up the neighbor's dog.

Rd, glad to see you back. Tomatoes? I'm getting over a pound a day, but my cucumbers and zucchini are barely producing.

Pardon me while I drift back to the vicinity of the day's topic:

Joel, you may be a little late to catch this trend, but books set in France (especially Paris)apparently are hot now:

From today's NYTimes:

"The most successful recent novel set in Paris is not at all serious and has been written by a man. Stephen Clarke's novel, first published in Britain in 2004, recounts the adventures of Paul West, a 27-year-old Englishman who comes to Paris to help open a chain of British tearooms. (The unprintable title refers to a French word for the ubiquitous dog excrement on Paris sidewalks.)"

[note for journalism geeks: the "unprintable word" is "merde" and in fact the New York Times has printed it on numerous occasions; my search of the nytimes.com site came up with 13 examples]

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/08/04/books/04pari.html?ex=1155614400&en=606fc1371daa7e23&ei=5070

Speaking of the NYT and the difference between Europeans and Americans regarding terrorism, NBC raised this question of the timing of the arrests of the alleged liquid-bomb terrorists--both during its news broadcast last night and at its website:

http://rawstory.com/showoutarticle.php?src=http%3A%2F%2Fmsnbc.msn.com%2Fid%2F14320452%2F

NBC News
Updated: 7:13 p.m. CT Aug 12, 2006
LONDON - NBC News has learned that U.S. and British authorities had a significant disagreement over when to move in on the suspects in the alleged plot to bring down trans-Atlantic airliners bound for the United States.

A senior British official knowledgeable about the case said British police were planning to continue to run surveillance for at least another week to try to obtain more evidence, while American officials pressured them to arrest the suspects sooner. The official spoke on condition of anonymity due to the sensitivity of the case.

NYT this morning follows the same angle:

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/08/13/world/europe/13disrupt.html?

The British, they say, are more willing to wait and watch.

Although details of the British investigation remain secret, Bush administration officials say Britain's domestic intelligence agency, MI5, was for at least several months aware of a plot to set off explosions on airliners flying to the United States from Britain, as well as the identity of the people who would carry it out.

British officials suggested that the arrests were held off to gather as much information as possible about the plot and the reach of the network behind it. Although it is not clear how close the plotters were to acting, or how capable they were of carrying out the attacks, intelligence and law enforcement officials have described the planning as well advanced. ...

The differences in counterterrorism strategy reflect an important distinction between the legal systems of the United States and Britain and their definitions of civil liberties, with MI5 and British police agencies given far greater authority in general than their American counterparts to conduct domestic surveillance and detain terrorism suspects.

Britain's newly revised terrorism laws permit the detention of suspects for 28 days without charge. Prime Minister Tony Blair's government had been pressing for 90 days, but Parliament blocked the proposal. In the United States, suspects must be brought before a judge as soon as possible, which courts have interpreted to mean within 48 hours. Law enforcement officials have detained some terrorism suspects designated material witnesses for far longer. (The United States has also taken into custody overseas several hundred people suspected of terrorist activity and detained them at Guantánamo Bay, Cuba, as enemy combatants.)

May be the man in the French cafe was wondering about the 34 pieces of information the U.S. government would want about him if he were to visit America:

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,2087-2310626,00.html

Air delays grow as US demands more security
Dipesh Gadher

PASSENGERS on transatlantic flights from Britain are facing cancellations and severe delays after the American authorities imposed new security requirements in the wake of last week's foiled airliner bomb plot.

Ministers have been warned by airlines in Britain that the U.S. checks, which require 34 separate pieces of information on each passenger to be sent to America before a plane takes off, are "unsustainable" and "impractical."

They are likely to lead to further disruption this week following the travel chaos caused by raised security threat levels in Britain and America last Thursday.

It has also emerged that the government's ban on hand luggage has dramatically increased the time taken to screen hold baggage. ...

The additional US security restrictions, however, are of significant concern, with British operators fearing delays to transatlantic services this week of up to five hours.

The problem revolves around a system called the Advance Passenger Information System (Apis), which requires European airlines to send the US authorities 34 separate items of data for each passenger.

Until last Thursday, this information was sent when planes took off, and checked while they were in the air. America is now demanding to vet the data before planes depart.

kb,
Thanks for the link to the NYT review of English-language books about Paris. Too funny.:

"This is cliché Paris," said Marie Babin-Burke, the buyer of new fiction for W H Smith, the English-language bookstore on the Rue de Rivoli. "People who read these books aren't interested in what really happens at different levels of society. They're into the fantasy Paris, the Paris of sophistication and magic and Champagne drinking." The display tables of W H Smith are filled with novels set in Paris, next to the guidebooks to Paris, histories of Paris and memoirs about Paris.

Alas, the plots may not surprise, the prose may not dazzle critics.

But, Ms. Babin-Burke said, "even clichés can be more than nice."

All this time I thought I was simply sinking in a morass of depression & lassitude and anergia.

It turns out I'm simply feeling my French genetics for lassiez-faire and sleeping in haystacks like a french peasant.

Like MostlyLurking, I'm shorter than Toulouse-Lautrec and I have NEVER been tempted to make nostrils a prominent feature in my portraiture. Actually from what I can see, he didn't, either.

What he does is either paint them on a nearly level perspective, or from a slight upwards angle (sometimes not so slight, in his spontaneous action paintings in which he could not have the pose held suitably. Lender dancing the Bolero is a particular case in point but even then her nostrils are not caverns.)
http://www.ibiblio.org/wm/paint/auth/toulouse-lautrec/

Mutations aside, the evidence of Goya's deafness influencing his artwork as he adapted to being deaf (he went deaf in 1792) is much more compelling, because you can see a change from his early mannered courtly paintings to a more and more bold approach to painting, using art to evoke emotion more than detail.

Even 1-2 years after he became deaf, you see a dramatic change in tone in some paintings, but it is not until past 1800 or so that I see the total abandonment of his old style.

Unfortunately the paintings here are not in chronological order.

http://www.spanisharts.com/prado/goya.htm

Look at his early paintings and then the paintings from 1813 and afterwards (3rd of May and The Milkmaid of Bordeaux, the dog on the leash, Old Men Eating Soup.

You can see a wide ranger of experimentation, an narrower color palette to convey a particular mood more, and more of an emphasis on body language or facial expression. And yeah, he became really dark.

I love it. Eurocentrism in action. Anyone note that the Brits have, not once, but twice, suffered actual terrorist bombings in the last year, AND, not once, but twice, shot the wrong person in counterterrorism raids? And, that's with unrestricted wiretapping, the Secret Powers Act, and holding citizens incommunicado without charges domestically. And, my God, George Bush is checking caller IDs and toll records. The horror! The Brits are standup guys and gals, but, let's face it, US agencies do more with less and face unwarranted, withering criticism from partisan hacks for far, far less.

Viva, you illustrate perfectly why unrestricted police powers don't solve much when it comes to fighting terrorism.
And if US agencies always used warrants, they wouldn't get "unwarranted" criticism.

If push comes to shove, Toulouse Lautrec painted from his studio in Montmartre--on Le Rive Droite! (NOT Le Rive Gauche...)

He's most famous for his paintings of prostitutes and the dancing girls of the Moulin Rouge. When he paints from the perspective of below stage level, the faces are moderately distorted, as they would be in a photograph, as well.

Think of the business opportunities in this Kit...a bus tour for tourists of the professional sensualists of northern California--in zips 95521 and 96150.

Joel, you can do better than this! I like your stuff when I come across it on the WaPo online, mate, but I cringe when a person with your sophistication falls into the "Aw shucks we're just bumpkins, us Merkins" schtick. I'm a Merkin too, even though my wife and I emigrated to Australia last year to escape fascism.

When we go to France, we don't feel second-class because we aren't Parisians. We sit at cafes sipping cafe or wine, looking at people and talking to ourselves, but doing so as un-self conscious Americans. You probably know this already, Joel, but even other Frenchmen and women feel outclassed by Parisians. They talk faster there, dress more chic-ly and have an air of superiority. (So our friends in the outlying regions tell us.) It's like the New York vibe to people from the rest of the country.

But Paris is filled with newcomers -- that's part of its atmosphere. Only a Parisian can pass for one. There's no point in trying to if you're not, but also no point in feeling bad if you aren't. Would you feel bad if you were in the Bronx and couldn't act like a native?

I say be proud to be who you are; a relatively suave example of your own culture. I am when I'm in other countries, even Down Under here. I'm not gauche and tackily dressed as per the American stereotype. And don't fall back on the "I'm a dumb American." Give us a column about how to be a good Yank overseas. I know you are!

Some people spend their time doing nothing and some others think they do a lot more by watching them!

This article is just RIDICULOUS. I've been living in the US for almost 2 years now and I'm fed up with this systematic French bashing. Journalists are just good enough to spread prejudices whether French or American.

For those that still don't know yet, there is the same proportion of nice, intelligent, beautiful, ugly, lazy... people in France as in the US. And unfortunately probably the same proportion of stupid journalist in the US as in France ...

A French guy that loves American people.

a bea c, I'm about two hours from Durham, perhaps two and half hours. We stayed in church most of the day. The g-girl got a chance to play with some kids at a friends's house. I think she enjoyed herself. She's knocked out now, so tired. And so am I.

If we're not bashing religion, we've got to bash something. Gee, folks take a break. Love the kit, Joel. I just want to know about the French, their everyday lives, what they do. It's interesting to me. And for me, it would be interesting if they lived on Mars. Remember people I live in a small town, I have not seen much of this big world. I know, check out a book.

The worms got my tomatoes. I have a few, but they're not producing much. Green peppers totally gone.

Back from the dog show...an excercise in ameteurism. Our bench (female), to use our son's version of the word, finished third today and yesterday. From a judge's point of view, we had just fallen from the hay wagon. Makes sense to me, since we had not been in the ring for nearly six months. I was told that I need to loosen up. Lord only knows what that means. Our boy got a look, but not best of breed. We were told that we have some dues to pay before we can expect to achieve this award at competition. Merde.

Maybe the guy in the cafe was Hari Seldon...

As far as American women looking frumpy, one need look no further than LA and NYC. The west coast look is rather natural, but one may not realise it until travelling from LA directy to NYC. The women in the latter metropolis look overdone ala street walkers compared to those in the former.

As for bashing our worldly bretheren, that's hardly the case. Hang around the boodle and see for yourselves...then pechez la mouche.

BTW, whilst travelling through Winston-Salem, my wife and I simultaneously commented on the large, pale, domed, skyscraper that dominates the city skyline, looking rather phallic as a result. We both concluded it to be the world HQ of all of male enhancement e-mails.

Jack--
"Pay your dues?" Suck up, look professional, have your dogs look professional and not too goofy-friendly, and bribe a few judges?

The thing is, people who handle dogs in a subculture of the dog world do tend to evolve their own variation on what is proper handling, all the little bells and whistle, the liver-breath kiss and handshake that says you're in the "in group." Or so I like to hallucinate.

Transitioning from one subculture to another can be a major culture shock. For instance, service dog handling is like major nazidom to some pet dog trainers, they don't get why the handler makes a big deal over little things.

The top reason is the dog has to be a "show dog" in a sea of idiots who don't know that service dogs are still... dogs at heart.

Compared to the stress in SD handling, I'd probably find a show ring... stressful too because beauty contests are not MY THING.

"Oh your dog doesn't cross his paws when he sits, the judge likes paw-crossers. And you should have brought liver, the judge's allergic to peanut butter."

Later on you hear the judge saying 'That new guy, man, you can smell that liver breath a mile off. I couldn't focus on the dog, my eyes were watering. And that guy kept hissing "crossmph", too.'

Then you know you've been the victim of hazing intended to make you rattled enough to lose. Dogs are dogs and people will be people.

Glad you're back and none the worse for wear. I'll never learn the show dog subculture-- I saw "Best in Show" and that was enough for me.

This is so on the mark! If only you would have continued the story to say that after the cigarette and wine was gone he jumped into his Renault and drove as fast and as reckless as possible to the next cafe and did the same thing. It would have been my impression of most of the Parisians I observed when I visited Paris.

"Professional sensualist"...perfect coined PC term for lazy bastards. Bravo!

It's summer, with only a promise of surf at the beach and it's too dry for the yard to look like a proper tropical paradise. The caladiums are going into hibernation. We Floridians are hiding in air-conditioned boxes. No wonder the local Target is adding a Starbucks.

Wilbrod: We never dreamed that we'd sho dogs. The arena is sooooo political. In the passt, I've likened it to a Dead show, sober. The mix of people is that ecclectic. Luckily, the folks we're acquainted with are well grounded, at least in my book. IMHO, most of the judges we cross paths with interpret the standard for our breed a bit differently than we do. Our dogs are an extension of us (I refer to myself, my wife and our children). More often than not they cut up in the ring. Thanks to our handler (quite reasomnable, and very nice)we have a champion. We don't have to show the other two, and frankly, the dogs don't like it. Thus, our sho days in the future will probably be spent spectating and speculating about which dogs should have won. Best In Show is so close to the truth...BTW, the handler behind me this weekend, unbeknownst to me until after the fact, violated etiquette and kept running up on me and my female. Rattled my dog, as a matter of fact. He took winners b1tch both days and breed today. If I ever cross paths with him again, I'll ever so subtly let my feelings be known. I may simply blow my nose at him.

SCC's abound...it's late and my fingers have become clumsy from fatigue...must turn my attention back to the laundry

BTW, I NEVER put bait in my mouth. That's the most vile thing I've ever seen. Dog germs...UGGGGGGGH

Maybe I'll assume the persona of Frankenturd: " Do dat again and I'm gonna stomp yur ba11s and make you eat yur feet"...

You people are ignorant...
I am sick of reading stuoid stuff about french people or french cultures through media. The way we live in France is the way we live, period. You do not like it, fine. But let me clear on a poit, if you were living in France for as long as I did, believe me you would enjoyed every seconds of your life. Life is to be enjoyed, not to be multitasks. We like sitting in cafes, fine, you like watching TVs and do nothing but watch your stupid shows on those stupid machine. You like chatting on your computers from a cafe, fine, we do enjoy going cafes with friends to start non-virtual conversations.
Here is the difference, but once again you are just judging on what you see and not on what you are drowned into (your cultures).
Secondly, you said the our country is economicaly declining... Really? You are a journalist, maybe you should review your subject before writing erroneous stuff.
Believe me I read a lot of articles about France, but that is the most ridiculous one I ever read.

Your article is ridiculous, and I follow Flo way.
First, you're talking about wine. For sure, it's not California wine, so, don't forget where the wine comes from. For sure not from America.
Second if you look at him like this, it's mean you did same before he came right? You really had nothing to do? Nowhere to go? There is many things to do at Paris, it's a city with history, not same than all your cities without history... And you not even try to make conversation... Can't speak french? so some of yours should stop laughting when french try to speak YOUR language. We make effort. Do you really do?
And third, if you cannot apreciate simple life, relaxing, so don't come in my country, and watch your own problems. We can write many strange things american people do too!
One French guy, who's proud of be French.

Joel, this is a short recipe to produce "animation" in a French cafe among plenty of French people "spending time doing nothing" :

1- Find a totally old-fashion French cafe in the "Quartier Latin" but a cafe where people are speaking Parisian-French, not Latin. (Remark: I am surprised that you cannot speak French, at least for ordering a coffee. Common American people are not as ignorant as you are hopefuly but it is another strory...)

2- Ask for a "Starbucks-type" viril drink such as a "double caramel macchiato, skim milk, double shot, extra hot..." something ... This kind of drink is preferred by workaddicted Wallstreet's pinguins (wearing the same suit) that I can see each morning speeding to be on time when the market opens or by overweighted American joggers running 5 minutes and spending 1 hour absorbing their carbohydrates...

3- Observe the reaction of the tenant...if he does not kick your American ass out his shop, you are a lucky guy or he is too polite for you.

4- So, next time you want to publish this p..o..s kind of article, please, think twice, and before to write it in English, try to write in French, for sure it will temper your ambition.

Generally in France, people buys different components of a meal at different places because every shop has its own speciality :

The taste (the feeling french people have when they eat) is more important than the time spent to find the components. And it is not as longer as you should think to find all of these.

(btw, nachos is quite a pathetic example and good illustration of what frenchies think about US way of cooking...)

Joël,
Votre article est vraiment excellent! Nous avons beaucoup ri en le lisant.

Faute de temps (je travaille au moins 60h par semaine), je ne pratique l'«Art de ne rien faire» que le dimanche après-midi, après la sieste. Mon épouse, américaine, a mis des années à comprendre cette façon de ne rien faire qu'ont les Français, mais elle a fini par s'y mettre aussi. Comme quoi, même les Américains peuvent y parvenir...

Merci aux amis francais qui ont contribue aujourd'hui!

If M. Achenbach didn't love France, he wouldn't have spent his vacation there with his family. So if something seemed negative to you about his view of les francais, you have misinterpreted it.

Speaking for myself, I definitely love France and I like Parisians at least as much as I like New Yorkers.

French readers: please come back, and join in our discussion. I was really thrilled this morning to find these trans-Atlantic comments here.

I have one word for this article : "lamentable".

i don't know how you've done it. you've ticked off the french and you've ticked off the americans. with one article. that's quite an achievement.
but i enjoyed the article. i think you're right.the french have a lazy sensuality to their movements that simply cannot be cultivated. i think they are born to it.
and doing nothing,is really an art. to be able to pause completely (not just physically)is hard to do.i've been doing yoga for a while now and that is my aim. although i must admit that a cafe in paris is a much better place to practise that,than my living room.

Chill, folks! It's a HUMOR column. It's meant to be FUNNY.

Great time was had yesterday at the first Southern BPH. Hubby and I met the G's for lunch and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. TBG has a lovely family, and of course we laughed at each other's stories throughout the meal. Yes, I have a picture and will post it tonight.

Hi!
First I apologize for my english. Then, even if I think this article was very funny, I also think it's a little fast to extrapolate just ONE man at a cafe to ALL the French people. It's right to say that here in Paris, we can see a lot of people in the cafes, taking time to see the city goes by. But most of this people are tourists who try to live this cliché!
It's also right to say that, we, french people, are a real culture in the art of do nothing. But we work hard for doing it. I suggest you a good novel to 'understand' France, and Paris in particular. It's a novel from an Australian Girl who moves in Paris. The title is 'Almost French', the author is Sarah Turnbull. It explain a lot of our way of life .

Once again, I'm sorry for my english, but doing nothing means don't learn foreign language...
Have a good day

Coyote from Paris

i'm parisian and I was amazed how this journalist believe that everyfrenchman live under the eiffel tower and that "wall mart" was an american idea.
OF what i know, "Carrefour" is the firt superstore ever opened and that was in 1959 in france. there is about 60 of those store around paris, 300 in france and more than 4000 around the world exept in the US where wall mart control the market. (there are forbiden in paris downtown to keep the charm of the city. For him, we are doing nothing? so how do we got one of the strongest economy on earth? with all those huge group? universal music, michelin, aibus, danon, l'oreal, virgin megastore, motel6, sanofi lab ( ambien, lexapro etc},Gemalto (microship maker including the american electronic passport)and many other company not only cheese and wine has americans like to believe. cheese and wine represent 0,3% of the french economy.
france is also slightly the same size than california but its highway network is twice longer...
however i cannot blame americans because most of the people in france are also ignorant about americans and think that everyone lives in skycrappers and that the US is a huge battle field for gang people. I know that its wrong idea cause i've been then.
whatever if you want to know more about france read this descriptive article here...http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/France
or pop me an email elementerre@caramail.com
I'd be happy to advice any one who want to visit and don't forget... if you have clichee you'll see what you are expecting to see...

JA;

It might be time to put "Daily Observations and HUMOR" back into the Achentitle...

:-)

...and maybe add "a venue for civil discourse"...

See, the French are such snobs that they can't take a joke at their expense. Even though they do that to themselves all the time--look at most French films!! Ah, well, maybe you had to be there. Spent most of yesterday laying pavers next to the carport so we could move the shed for the trash cans alongside to be accessible in inclement weather. The old saying about 2 or 3 trips to the hardware store still holds true!

Yes, we need a report on Carrefour, which seems to have been the inspiration for Oregon's Fred Meyer chain, whose stores typically have entrances on three sides, depending on whether you want groceries, clothes, or hardware.

Not to mention that Wal-Mart's hypermarkets are busy selling Président French-made Swiss cheese cheaper than the domestic US version.

Ah yes, endless trips to the hardware are normal for me whenever I undertake such tasks, eb. I trust you tamped the floor beneath your pavers and sanded the joints for a proper DIY looking job...

At least we Americans know why *we're* the butt of jokes.

jack, I did get the Hari Seldon reference, though I don't think Hari spent any time in France between Helicon and Trantor.

bc

Once again, don't put all the french people in the same bag (it's a french expression, I don't if it mean something in english, but whatever). It's not because SOME french answer here with a kind anger that none of us understand this article. Read some of the first comments post by french. There is even one in French !

So please, don't be silly, who cares about wall mart or Carrefour or Auchan ?

It's obvious french and american people are different on matter of spending time. But it's also what make us so charming
;-p

Thanks Coyote, I think it has been fun to have all the comments from French readers and I hope y'all will drop in from time to time to give opinions on other issues.

C'est vrai, Coyote. Vive la difference!

:-)

Coyote, this is a very silly place. And you are more than welcome here.

That's true. While parisians work for 50 hours in a week, even in August, Paris is full of lazy people sitting in café, doing nothing, but eating cheese and drinking wine. In paris, they are called TOURISTS.

Paris doesn't need all these tourists, even if they are welcomed, especially when they love our real culture and patrimoine (=litterature, philosophy, mathematics ..) more than the usual cliché "art de vivre" (wines, cheese, perfumes).
Selling airplanes, nuclear plants, or softwares is far more interesting for our treasury than managing millions of tourists each year.

yeah ebnut you must be right we are so snob...
no joke, I'm not angry an i do take this aticle with a smile ,but i also try to teach people to distinguished cliche and reality.

after what have nice day in Washington or in Paris.
un pti bonjour pour les Parigos...

I could have sworn that this column makes more fun of the Americans than of the French.

But it is great to hear the new voices. Maybe this is the first step in the globalization of the Achenblog.

The column is full of ADMIRATION for the French.

Today London's Guardian and Times are reporting a new addition to the blogosphere--Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, president of Iran!

One may post to Ahmadinejad's blog in any of four languages--Farsi, French, English and American. *w*

Scottynuke, just think of the possibilities of discussing nuclear (or nucular) arms and regulatory issues directly with the Iranian president himself. Forget layers of bureacracy--a one-on-one!

And we THANK YOU !!!

Really!

Joel, the only truly funny American is Jerry Lewis.

You didn't mention him or say "Hey, laa-dy!" in this RD, maybe that's where all this FrancoUmbrage came from.

bc

Joel - I hope you mean the first step in making your blog MORE GLOBAL! :)

Let's rent Daniel Auteuil movies.

My previous comment was to Joel of course. I'm far from being a specialist in nucl(e)ar power source...

have a nice day.

Read you later

BTW, yes, I found this RD highly amusing, at my expense (being an American and all).

bc

Well, that pretty much shoots the notion of French subtlety, sophistication and savoire faire all to hell.

Two of my favorite things about Toulouse Latrec are that I'm waaaaaaaaay taller than him (also why I like visiting the Yucatan--at 5' 4" I'm often the tallest guy around, Gringos notwithstanding), and he painted lots of pictures of nude women. What's not to like? Now that Monet guy...lilly ponds?

(OK, that was just a joke, to arouse any still-remaining-and-lurking Frenchies who will write in some nonsense about Monet. Although I suspect most have left in a pique of l'umbragois.)

Friday, the New York Times offered its readers a question in a blog format: Do you think the U.S. is more vulnerable after hearing news of a plot using liquids as bombs? While my comment was "awaiting moderation," I copied it. It never passed the moderator's filter. Darn, I wasn't moderate enough!

Googled over the weekend to find (but didn't) the story that I saw or heard about the alleged 24 terrorists apprehended at the end of last week in London not having passports, etc. Krugman, at the NYT this morning, mentions this as well as calls out NBC's reporting about the timing, politically, of the arrests and breaking the story to the press. Krugman also exposes that inconvenient fact that the U.S. was trying to cut $6M in funding for technologies to discover liquid explosives when just such a terrorist plot in London was being revealed for the alleged use of that type of explosive.
***

Loomis:

Your comment is awaiting moderation.

Do you think the U.S. is more vulnerable after hearing news of a plot using liquids as bombs?

I think the U.S. was just as vulnerable before hearing the news (broken on Thursday) of a plot using liquids as bombs. It's a joke, folks. [Bojinka plot]

Don't you think the old Watergate question applies in this latest spate of terrorism reporting: Who knew what when? --

especially in light of this reporting by MSNBC yesterday:

Meanwhile, in today's White House press gaggle, spokesman Tony Snow was asked directly whether the Administration knew of this terrorist plot beforehand (he said yes), and whether they knew the news about it would break today -- just after they had whacked Democrats on Lamont's victory. Snow's answer raised our eyebrows. "Let me put it this way, I don't want to encourage that line of thought. I don't think it's fully accurate, but I also don't want -- I know it's frustrating, but we really don't want to get too much into who knew what, where, when."

posted on August 11th, 2006 at 12:36 pm

It seems that The Boss's tongue in cheek description of the French has ignited a FrogStorm among some lurkers. I would have Hal the Schemer check the IP logs to see if this is some organized groundswell. I did babelfish Remi's remarks of 5:07 am and got this fairly serviceable translation:

"Your article is really excellent! We laughed much by reading it. For lack of time (I work at least 60h per week), I practise the "Art nothing to make" but Sunday afternoon, after the nap. My wife, American, spent years to include/understand this way nothing of making that the French have, but it ended up starting to it too. Like what, even the Americans can reach that point."

Someone got the point. Please post more, Remi.

Toulouse Lautrec is all the rage on the megashow art musueum circuit lately. I have seen two shows in the last year that have featured him prominently. One show had a secret final gallery of his portraits of Montmarte prostitutes and other ladies of leisure that looked rather farm fed to my contemporary tastes.

Say it ain't so, yj! I was so afraid someone would Babelfish that paragraph that I almost posted my own translation of it, but I hesitated, hoping that le gendarme de la grammaire might show up and do it correctly.

I guess, as a particular narrow form of humor, the Babelfish works, but as a translation tool, best stick to single words and not try for paragraphs.

It's a hallmark of the Achenblog that we care about the English language. Let's show the same respect to other languages, and when we can't do a competent translation job, just leave them in the original.

****
I'm submitting this, even knowing that I sound like a twit and will suffer the inevitable waves of self-loathing. I'm doing it for France! (*cue La Marseillaise*)
***

bc pulling out the Dada reference (Sunday) is like Brando pulling a Land O' Lakes reference. It just comes natural.

As far as French Café life we have our own version of it in this country. It's called the sofa.

Sure, I try to be brave, but my subconscious sabotages my attempts. That is my patriotic post at 10:43 a.m.

Ooh, yellojkt dropped the Franco F-bomb, the one that tastes like chicken.

bc

db, I f@rt in your general direction!

Now get out of here before I taunt you some more.

bc

PS. Yeah, I'm laughing at the Brando/Land 'o Lakes reference. See, it ain't always a terrible thing when Worlds Collide.

Could Joel's next Kit be called "Last Chicken Dance in Paris?"

My battles with babelfish are well known in this venue:

http://livebythefoma.blogspot.com/2006/04/warum-babelfish-saugt.html

My apologies to Remi for allowing the babelfish to butcher what is obviously a very cogent and witty reply in the original. Having no association with the French language beyond the ability to distinguish "boeuf" from "poulet" on the very helpful menu boards on the outsides of all Parisian restaurants (a practice I wish us Yanks would emulate more often), I dared not add insult to injury and try to make the translation more idiomatic.

Ha, dmd, I noticed the same thing.

Good morning, friends. May the love of God shine brightly in your lives, and you come to know that God loves you so much more than you can imagine through Him that died for all, Jesus Christ.

Right on, bertooch. Why, nobody has more respect for foreign languishes (such as languishing at an outdoor cafe on the Rue de Remarque) than I do. Or, as the kid once said to Shoeless Joe Jackson, Le Playeur avec la addidas sneacouers, (yeah, you're already ahead of me, aren't ya?), "Chez it ain't so!"

Jack, loved the Hari Seldon reference. Am seriously thinking about awarding it today's Dennis Miller Award, though. (That's not a bad thing, BTW.) Hari is one of my heroes.

SCC: Sacre bleu! "Avec" should be "sans," methinks. Mon dieu! Qu'elle....something or other. Dommage. Frommage. One of those.

Curmudgeon, I thought you were just rewriting history a little to award Joe a shoe contract!

Valleywag has a list of 83 words not allowed to be used on the Verizon Wireless Text messaging network (and the vast majority are not safe for polite company many places, so you've been warned)

http://www.valleywag.com/tech/verizon/83-words-you-cant-say-on-verizon-wireless-193699.php

I notice that in the mild ethnic slur category, that "limey" is forbidden but not the vulgar reference to anurans. It must be a contextual issue.

I should have added that "Last Hokey-Pokey in Paris" may in fact be more amusing.

bc

I would say that the american version of our guys in the cafe is the....couch patato

I would say that the american version of our guys in the cafe is the....couch patato

New Kit!

:-)

I would say that the american version of our guys in the cafe is the....couch patato

yello, you made me look up "anurans." Good, but not what I was expecting.

I think I kinda like "qu'elle frommage," actually, now that I think about it. Better than the original, to my ear.

"Qu'elle frommage!"

Definitely. Most definitely.

Or in response to compliments regarding the kit: Qu'elle homage!

I dind't mean to sent all those messages.
however...I hope americans understand my FRENCH ARROGANCE.lol
whatever, in england, but mostly in the US we have bad reputation,americans say that we are chikens...?!?! that always amazed me...french people don't know that americans think that. its moslty due to the fact that americans help us during the WW2.IN the other side, most french think that americans are weck, cause they let themself get push everywhere when they are tourist. so french people really think that americans have great army with great weapons, but weck guys. I think its also due to the way that english sound in general ( we have to say that it sound beat gay ...whatever its just weird that in both side we got this kind of ideas.

HELLO for all american girl that I LOVE

any thoughts on this...
- enjoy Wall Mart, I'll take the French Cafe
- eat the nachos, I'll eat the patisserie
- busy yourself of meaningless material pursuits, i'll rethink the world with my friends
... now if you could detach a quick and friendly american waitress to my cafe, that would be much appreciated!
not sure the French could live without all that American bashing and the reverse seems to hold true ;)

many thks Joel for this deep article about the French society! according to your bicultural skills, tell me: is it better to sit at a cafe, or to go to war?

yeah i'm OK for the waistress, I love those smiley american waistress. they all say:
hello my name is XXXX and I am going to take care of you tonigh.
I feel that she is in my bed and she is saying that in my ears...

If this is a non-serious joking big American Blog ...i will give you a A+...wonderfull.one of the best article ever..if you are talking seriously think about that :

Wich one have the "Art of doing nothing" the french guy/girl sit in a cafe doing nothing or the Washington Post guy observing this guy/girl???

If you do not like the frogs , pls stay in the US cooking your Nacho wich are by the way a 100% American Difficult cooking meal or stay here doing nothing as we are and you'll see in 2 weeks you will never want to come back to the US.

God Bless America
Vive La France / Vive la Liberté.

Poor poor poor Joel,

how awful to draw conclusions on French society just by desribing one person.
It is like it would say that all American are smart because I met one less stupid one.

Please before giving lessons, educate first your people

Are you French people regular readers who are inspired by this subject to comment for the first time, or is this the first time you are here?

Any French commenters out there not from Paris?

heu... cesmi, je crois que tu es a cote de la plaque.
c'est une blagues et tout le monde la bien compris... pas la peine de s'enerver.
ils sont quand meme sympa les ricains, ils nous font des films et nous vendent des big mac. faut arreter de chagriner et vive l'amerique!!!!

As a respectable (yes I'm) french man, I was doing nothing at work, drinking a coffee, reading news, looking in my nose something to improve my french way of life style, when I found on Yahoo portal this column. It is said how an US journalist feels uncomfortable about our Cafe culture.
The point is, I just don't understand why they (yahoo-journalist) speak about that.
Maybe they where coffee drinking, using their brand new laptop in a Wifi-spot cafe when they read your article.
Ten minutes later, they posted some words on that bad yankee you are ! Booooh Shame on you !
They were paid to do that. Maybe they should thank you for that.

Maybe you should dig in the following direction ?
i.e :
- On monday, write in an Us magazine :
"Mr. Smith tell you how bad french people are".
- On tuesday write for a french magazine
"Mr. Dupont tell you how bad Mr. Smith is".

You should be doing twice monney.
Maybe that is what you're doing yet !
Is this Marketing Mr Machiavel ?

My name should be Candide instead of Roland.
Merde ! My coffee is cold !
I feel stressed, I must go on vacation !

yes Kbertocci, I'm french I read the post often and I live in the US Currently...

ok luigi,

je me suis emporté mais jái tellememt croisé d'américains pendant mes vacances que j'en ai plein le dos.
Tu as raison vive l'amérique, vivent ses burgers, vivent sa politique ... (j'ai du mal à me retenir de vomir)

RC--Thank you, that answers my question how all the French commenters found this Washington Post blog.

To Curmudgeon and SonofCarl.

Due to your previous compliment to foreign languages, I have to tell you that what you write in french is not right. No offense but "Qu'elle frommage" doesn't mean anything. It's like you says "What she chease". There is just a "m" for "fromage". Then if you want to say "what cheese !" you have to write "quel fromage" (which sounds the same). No big deal,I know my english is full mistakes but I have to say it.

So here it's 6pm and I still have work to do before I can take time to do nothing...

Have a good day

Ne rien faire, c'est commencer à exister ...
Et c'est un parisien qui vous le dit, naturellement ;-)

your welcome !
Think about this business its million doing nothing.
You know what, I like so much people qui s'enerve (mais je sais pas le dire en anglais).
Oubliez les frontieres. Elles n'existent que pour se rassurer.

You, in the US are running all day around, like frustrated, selfish hens, which did not make you avoid to have twice the most ridiculous and dangerous president.
So you'd better sit down and drink some french café !

TO cesmi
franchement la c'est de la mechancete, si ce n'est de la jalousie.
c'est vrai qu'ils ont de la bouffe de merde, mais ils font certain truc bien comme les burgers et ca marche dans les monde entiers. je pense qu'ils fat arretter de critiquer. et si on etait aussi bon que ca , eh bien , au lieu de critiquer on aurais fait mieux.
mais pour le moment touche pas une bille!

roland, tu pete un cable!!
pk ta la haine comme ca?

mais je ne veux surtout pas mieux faire que les ricains, je veux faire different,

Je n'ai pas pour exemple les chantres de la sous culture

c'est tres joliment dit.
mais en attendant ils controle le monde et nous on arrive meme pas a controler une cite de seine st denis...

The humour of the kit does not translate into French. Joel is saying North American culture can learn some things about how we use our time from French culture.
He is saying that the fine art of sitting doing nothing specific is a wonderful thing.

No disrespect intended, only the highest reagrd for your lovely nation.

I wonder how old people, writing here, are ?
There are so many serious topics to get upset about.
Because if loosing time doing nothing is something awful for all of you.
Well just think about what you're doing.

...Maybe I'm the only real person and you are all fake ? Or maybe you are actors paid to say silly things ?
Maybe I'm in the matrix !!!
Maybe I just imagine everything and you do not exist at all.
I'm going to switch off tis computer, and looking how to say enerver in english.
Putain ca ne me reviens pas !

TO: DR
yes i agree there is nothing that I foud disrespectful, but you know french are very taki...
whatever I enjoyed this articles even though it was overfloded with cliche

A life like the Athenians, eaters of people...

http://jeanchristophegrellety.typepad.com/lactionlitteraire/

I read through that Yahoo article, and it seems that the author did not realize that Joel's article was meant to be humorous. When you take the individual quotes out of context, in fact, it is not funny. The tone is so important, and humor is a delicate recipe, like a souffle, no?

Dr, you're right, but I'm sad to see that some of people here (in particular some french one) can't make the difference between politic and comic. Thanks to RC who seems more like me.
Even if I'm still suprised to see someone who can't discuss whitout just criticize!

I thought we're here for humour. Maybe the world woult turn better with humour. 'Cause I think we can laugh at anything (unfortunatly not with anyone)

To kbertocci, I heard about the article on radio this morning, so I came to take a look at it.

RC:

s'énerver = to get irritated

Reprend un café, ça va passer....

;-)

RC,
That's pissin' me off

Sorry but I do not think so that every french people can afford to sit and do nothing. The problem with the jounalist is that they are not living in the country; they just stand there and observe. I have been leaving and workin in France and now in the USA. The thing is in France may be we work less as concerned the total amount of hours at the and of the end but we work MUCH more during the day - I never saw a french engineer leaving the office before 5:00 pm .
And if this little observation were right, I do not think so that France would have a TGV, woulf be able to lauch satellites and have doctors etc ... Sorry but France it is not only perfum, food, drinks and sex ... WThey have Pierre and Marie Curie, Pierre Gille de Genes and Carlos Goshn ( even if he is not french is a pur product of the french education)

But the French humor translates for me.

Thank you all for helping us practice la francais belle.

What Joel did is called "people-watching" in America. Watching strangers, guessing at their lives and motivations and all.

It is a big hobby of Americans taking the Metro home, on buses and such.

Joel found it difficult avec l'homme que faire de rien. ;) Sacre bleu!

He would not cease with the > until he had solved the mystery of the Frenchman.

Sometimes, it is such trivial things that become of supreme importance, much as Proust and his little madelines.

That Achenbach is no Proust is only natural.

This is GREAT.

I can't stop laughing.

bc

Well, I'm French, I live in the U.K, I have been many time in the U.S.and I can say that the American people in general are, very enthusiast, positive,devoted to their country and their President, courageous, and more, more!respect.....because we are not devoted like you are guys!

But one thing!!

What the Americans lack very much of is, "substance" , ...not all of course..., Joel!!, sorry mate, but I prefer reading a book on a terrace during my lunch break or my holidays, rather than reading the news about the super bowl on my laptop ,thanks to WIFI, and please, Joel, can you please do a survey on "how many people are able to read and write in North America...", please.....

Hi ! I'm french...

This is the beauty of being on holiday : doing nothing, enjoying the here and now..
Like joel did : this article is full of nothingness..

avec ce temps de m... sur Paris depuis quelques jours, je vais même pas pouvoir me faire une terrasse demain :)

I'm French (and even parisian), and I really like this article: it's witty, funny... Look at yourselves, French people, and relax!
Very accurate, mr Achenbach!

I'd just like to add that often Joel's humor is not evident to native English speakers either! It can be rather subtle, verging on the non-existent, at times. Sort of an acquired taste.

Well good to read all those comments!
What always puzzled me is the way journalists can write on a subject they barely know about. I am press attachée I know plenty about that !
I've heard a writer telling me one day that he was not one to influence the opinion of his readers ! Crap !
You influence the opinion of your readers and most of them do not have enough background to take the necessary distance from what you write, they will take your words for it. And that's the part that upsets me the most in this article.
Even on a funny mode, you could have given people informations, but you serve them crap. Finding a coffee where you can talk latin..WHAT A LAUGH ! How can you even think about writing that !!
Well what we can notice here is that Blogging is a nice way of reacting at least it's not the reader's mail ! and second is that you should always take distance when you read/watch/listen to the media. But this is something all american people are aware of nowadays aren't they...
Good holidays !

Very good point, mostlylurking! I was going to bring that up yesterday, but never found the right phrasing. You said it perfectly.

It's good to see how an american can see my country (I hope of course that this nice gut represents a minority)
What a bad awake after the american dream...
Of course i'm one more stupid french who do not understand what life is...
work+work+work+...=??? (i let you complete, i got to finished by cafe before it gets cold)
Hello to WB
Your faithfully,
Frederic F.
Supid French

Paris c'est foundee a 52 BC et elle disat "Lutetia". C'est tres ancien!

Jamestown, c'est foundee a 1620. C'est tres modern! Le langue d'Anglais en 1620 n'est comprensible pas a l'American vulgare. "Marry, thou art merry?"

Le langue de "Lutetia", serait Latin, non?

Yes, my French is awful. It has been over 10 years since I wrote about French history in French.

Your article is racist. You freely depict the French as a whole people spending their time doing nothing, thinking about croissants ans the eiffel tower.
Ain't you smart enough to even think about people enjoy cafes because they're in vacations?
Moreover everybody on Earth nows that France is a museum country, with "old" places...so what? What's the matter with that? You americans have "modern" 70's towers everywhere (not even the tallest in the world!). That's why France is the most visited country in the world.
As for the economy, everything's all right, thanks for your concern.

What you call "the art of doing nothing" is called here "douceur de vivre", "sweet life" in english.

Well, I'm surprised a little bit by you french guys. Relax, petez un coup !

I think this article is not a deep analysis of the french society. If you have ever been abroad you should remember how you remarked funny details about the local culture. Well it's the same here I guess.

Moreover, it looks like there's this fantasy with americans and english about doing nothing. My friends from the us or england always believe that life is sloooooooooow here in Paris. When I was living in London I didn't notice any difference with the pace.
The same with french women that american males want to have in their beds, and american women wished they could like them eat both patisseries and be skinny.

Well I think there is a lot of clichés that Americans will focused on if it's their first visit here but of course the parisian life is sometimes far from these fantansies.

Joel here's a tip.
Next time you go to Paris, don't stay in "Le quartier latin" since there is so much tourists there. Try the Oberkampf area which is a bit more authentique to me. However you'll probably see the parisian ne rien faire there too.

Ciao

Only the previous comment is mine, not the first one !

I'm correcting :

Paris s'est fondée en 52 avant Jésus Christ et s'appelait "Lutèce". C'est très ancien!
Jamestown, s'est fondée a 1620. C'est beaucoup plus contemporain! La langue Anglaise en 1620 n'était pas compréhensible a l'American vulgaire. "Marry, thou art merry?"
La langue de "Lutèce", est le Latin, non?

My question now : what is the meaning of that, what do you want to tell us there ?

Attention, Citizens of France!

In the interestes of international peace and harmony, I propose a UN resolution terminating this conversation about Joel's little essay. Clearly, you folks didn't understand one word of it, nor its tone, and especially not its humor. Alors. So let's just let it go, shall we? Because many or your responses are as incomprehensible to us (and I'm not talking about the grammar and syntax) as Joel's essay was to you.

Coyote, I'm sorry I misspelled fromage (one m), but yes, I know "qu'elle fromage" doesn't mean anything to you, but it was a joke, see? Because it actually sort of means "It is the cheese." I know you don't get it, but it is actually a pretty good joke (in my opinion, anyway), especially for a people who like to call each other "my little cabbage." "Qu'elle fromage!" is EXACTLY what the French "might" say, and if you don't know that about yourselves, I'm sorry. But you would. Trust me.

So just kick back, take a chill pill (le pillule froide), and have a nice apertif. On us. We mean you no harm. We come in peace (we left Rumsfeld at home). (N.B. That was a joke, too.) Gort, klaatu berata nicto. We like your country. We like (love) your food. We like (love) your women (a lot). We love your city. We love your art, literature and music (Camus, Gide, Malraux, Anouilh--expecially Anouilh--, Giradoux, Piaf, Aznevour, Jane Birkin. OK, not Jane Birkin, who is English anyway. But definietly Anouk Aimee. Yes, I know she's an actress, not a singer. So sue me. I have this thing for Anouk Aimee).

You may now return to your sidewalk cafes. Thank you for your prompt attention to this matter.

On behalf of the Boodle, I am

Curmudgeon
Shop Steward

Joel,
your article is on the first page of yahoo.fr, so lots of people in France are aware of it.
I live close from one of those zip code in California. No Wall-Mart here. Does it surprise you that a big store like this cannot be found in the middle of the Quartier Latin? For the record, living in LA, I still need to shop in 3 different places if I want to cook something good! And I am probably lucky to be in the second biggest city of the US.

Ontheroadagain, J'ai curieux.

Pourquoi detestez-vous le Latin?
Aimez le langue de votre mere, mais detestez-vous le langue de votre grand-mere?

When Joel says "I am pretty sure..." He means a joke is coming up on how old the Latin quartier is. It is one of those things that escape translation.

@ Curmudgeon : we're not angry of anything..
but ain't you fed up with all those clichés ? I certainly am with the traditional picture of the american cliché : redneck eating burgers, fat, sweaty, saying words we don't understand...

Hi Joel,

When you don't understand something, please don't speak about it.

In usa you're prefer to work, normal, with all the fat ass than you have...

But when you are french, we're prefer to watch the beautiful (fine) french women, the (original) french architecture (not a american copy), eating a good food (not a MacPizzaHut with 11 000 calorie) and it's possible to speak politic without finishing at guantanamo.

The result is than French is not as hated in the world like American.

Good luck

Curmudgeon, I think in the interest of rapprochement, we should keep talking. There's a new kit and everybody who wants to talk about televisions and football can go over there (although I see the conversation is veering towards Pluto as I type this).

I'm just having the most fun here with les francais. I'd rather read a wrong-headed opinion in French, I think, than a sensible statement in English. At least that's the way I feel about it today. I may be unduly influenced by coyote and luigi and RC and stephane and all the rest of these gentilhommes.

As a french with some latin mixture. I can tell you that this is not typically french but rather latin way of life. Wherever you go around the mediteranean sea, you will see the same way of life. Religions doesn't make a different. We can be christian, orthodox, jew or muslim, we love to spend time doing nothing but taking time for ourself, socializing, discussing about politics, soccer, women, etc... I think American would love to do that but they are just afraid that other would consider them as lazy person ("faineant" or "glandeur" in french). This is why they need to do something (chating, e-mailing, surfing, smsing,...). Why don't you just relax ! Seat in the french cafe are not facing the "theater of Paris street life" but just facing LIFE !
"C'est beau la Vie" isn't it?
jm

« Sois fainéant Tu vivras content »
[ Coluche ] - Paroles de la chanson Sois fainéant
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coluche

Misterfab,

Je suis tout a fait d'accord avec votre avis, mais, mais...

Personne ne vous insulte. Tout le monde ici a Achenblog admire votre pays, c'est vrai.

Alors, soyons amis!

When US journalists stop looking at the rest of the world with contempt and disdain, they will write more intelligent articles.

Julien, then make up a new cliche.

I have never seen Paris, although I once had a map of Paris... in Latin, it was a copy of a very old map. BTW--Lutetia WAS the Latin term for Paris.

I am not so interested in visiting Paris anymore than I am interested in visiting New York City to sample America.

Many Americans live and die without ever once visiting New York City, despite the conceit of the people there that they are the hub of America. In addition, many people in New York City live and die there without seriously touring anywhere outside New York City or the local suburbs.

I do not know if the condition holds true for Paris and France, but I would not care to take the risk, especially since I see too much of Paris in French movies as I see too much of New York or Los Angles in American movies.

I would like to visit France itself outside of Paris. I have a list of places that also includes places in Luxembourg, Belgium, and Holland that were under the rule of the French Crown when my ancestors came to the New world.

The only thing I want to know about Paris is about the fair de St. Ovide.

This Saint is not a catholic saint and as far as I can tell, St. Ovide is actually Ovid the Poet, supposedly converted to christanity in exile and thus honored with the title of Saint, despite his lecherous poetry.

Calvin objects to such false saints such as St. Ovide and makes some reference to his being a patron saint for deafness, but else I have not been able to find much about him.

Ovide is a traditional name in French Canada, hence my interest.
I have run dry on English-language sources here. How do I refresh my search?

Curmudgeon, I don't know if you take my remark badly, it wasn't my point.
You're right, I didn't catch your joke. I'm sorry not to know it is a pretty good job 6000km away. Here too with have some "private jokes" which can't be understood by an american (or other non french citizen) who speak french
So I'm gonna make shorts sentences to be sure to be understood.
I like this article! I don't like the reaction of some french. Your post is the perfect example of lack of understanding because of the lenguage.
Most of the french who read the article think it's funny!

good night

I read this article from the front page of yahoo.fr too.
No offense to the journalist who wrote it, but I didn't think that his experience was really representative of the parisians and banlieusards way of life.

Does anybody remember the song from "The Most Happy Fella" with the words "standing on the corner, watching all the girls go by..."? The French do it when seated, comfortably ensconced, and - as Joel presciently points out - they make a (national) pastime out of it, don't they? For the price of a cup of coffee or a glass of wine (which you can nurse as long as you like; nobody is plying you with a refill...), the gallic gallivanter has the world on a string... Just think of Sinatra's take on "Monique", "April in Paris".

Misterfab's 1:12 PM deserves to be in the Best of the Boodle '06.

I have to look away, there are tears running down my cheeks from the laughter.

bc

Jeez, another country heard from. Kumar, didn't President Bartlett wipe out you guys during the third or fourth season of West Wing? Give it a break, will ya? You clearly didn't get it. Just let it go...

Julien, it is precisely BECAUSE they were cliches that Joel was playing with them. That's what he does; in fact, that's what many writers do. The only problem with using a cliche is when you aren't aware of it, but Joel clearly was and is.

By the way Wilbrod, Jamestown was founded in 1607. It was Plymouth that was founded in 1620. Paris was indeed founded in 52 B.C., by Romulus, Remus and Gertrude Stein. (JOKE!! THAT WAS JUST A JOKE, MON AMIES! Please, don't go nuts over this!)

You know what the best part of all this is.

No one seems to be reading what Joel says about American women versus French women. Considering Joel is a genetlman with 3 daughters, and a lovely wife, he says this tongue firmly in cheek. And just in casse it does not translate, 'tongue in cheek' means humour.

Ah !!! American people finally find out that you can actually get wiser by just sitting in a nice cafe and looking at the world go by ! Thanks for your article which really had me laughing ! Beneath the surface of your comments - unfortunately misread as insulting (and racist ???) by some of my fellowcitizens - I can feel how envious you really are about our sweet way of life and cafes and markets and sensuality and all ;)
laparizienne.hautetfort.com

Il ne me semble pas que l'article soit insultant à l'égard des français. Joel se contente juste de décrire une façon bien française de passer du bon temps.

Inutile donc de se braquer et de monter sur nos grands chevaux de français plus intelligents que tout le monde.

Je