Oops. Was that too linky.

It looks like Space:1999 is going to be at least two decades late and counting. I loved watching those Eagle landers blow up every week.

one word: helium-3

hmm, is that two words?

shall we strip mine the moon?

That was great Joel. Just the right amount of linkyness. (And I am flattered to be on the kit.)

Not at all, Joel. Remember, only about 1% of readers will ever follow a link, but it shows you've done your homework. It doesn't hurt anything and builds goodwill. You've linked to Cocktail Physics before. I need to remember to read it more often.

Tang is still available in stores everywhere. In fact right now, in my kitchen reside a 4 liter container of crystal Tang. It came from the bowels of the bachelor pad, and only heaven knows why my misplaced sense of frugality has not tossed it out.

I still remember my first taste of Tang. Summer camp, 1969, the one where I missed the Apollo moon landing.

The Adventures of Jo - el on the Starship Achenblog.

(First blogisode of a series)

Introduction

Stardate 43.21.56.78: Jo - el sat in his captains chair, brushing his fingers through his flyaway hair, on the bridge of the Starship Achenblog. Also on the bridge was the rest of the bridge watch, also seated at their controls. They appeared to be intently working at their desktop workstations. In reality, they were secretly sending personal messages to each other, and others around the galaxy. Nonetheless, the spaceship was operating as smoothly as could be expected, given it's basic design.

The Achenblog was a Wapo class starship, designed and built by the now rather infamous company of Hal Schemersky and Co. Some of the companies other designs had garnered the nasty reputation of occasionally eating it's crew members, and spitting their remains into deep space. That gave the crew of the Achenblog renewed incentive to "watch their 6", an apt expression from centuries ago. Thus far, the most disturbing thing that this particular spaceship had done was to slip in and out of time warp. It would unpredictably and uncontrollably lurch forward or backward in time, sometimes for hours on end. Thus far, the worse thing that resulted from this was to disrupt Jo - el's crew staff meetings. He hadn't quite figured out why the scheduled meetings always seem to coincide with the time warps.

Continued ...

Don I am so glad you had time to pop in and post that, really amusing.

I loved Tang so much that as a kid I once tried to make Tang-flavored pancakes. Of course, the citric acid neutralized the baking soda so I ended up with matza that tasted vaguely like Bayer's Children Aspirin.

RDP and EF make good points... as exciting as it would be to go back to the moon, it just seems like a huge vanity project.

On the other hand, ST is right too. If I were offered the chance to go, the person offering wouldn't even get to the end of the sentence before I said "Hell, yes." (And then, "And would you tell my wife? She'll kill me.")

On the other other hand, Space 1999 had the best spaceships, didn't it?

And as for Max Boot, who's quoted that "advanced U.S. surveillance satellites can reportedly pick out a six-inch object from 150 miles above," I much prefer the idea of the Mars rovers, which can pick *up* six-inch objects on a planet 40 or 100 million miles away.

Me and space travel in context: in Kindergarten I was once sent to the corner for discussing the Apollo 7 launch, complete with sound effects, during break time. I had to stand behind the piano.

SCC Bayer Children's Aspirin. (A registered trademark of Bayer Healthcare)

I miss Bayer Children's Aspirin, nothing today seems as comparable, as I have one child who it seems hates all medicine I wish I could find a suitable alternative.

I always preferred Orange Juice - what was it about Tang that was so appealing?

RDP;

There's something wrong with Bayer's kids taking aspirin? They allergic or something? What???

:-)

This place has no mercy.

Scotty, children aren't allowed aspirin anymore.

The appeal of Tang was that it was sweet, had no pulp, and you could increase the concentration so that it went far beyond mere tangy and into the realm of the recreationally sour.

Of course the Administration finds it reasonable to establish an outpost on the moon. Their domestic, foreign and economic policy already operate from Mars. If we're lucky, sometime in the next two years they'll discover Earth.

Ah, the tang of Tang. It is still around. I've tried to explain its mystique to the Boy, along with Space Food. What was that stuff called? The little freeze-dried tubes or sticks of ice cream, etc. We can still buy something like them at our local air & space museum, the Omniplex. Boy, was that exotic!

I look forward to the continued adventures of Jo-el and his intrepid crew. I assume they will include Mr. Stripey, perhaps a lovable engineer who routinely keeps the ship going despite occasional WaPo technical failures. And of course, Jo-el and crew all second as Mojo, reporting on local space bingo directly from their laptops to the WaPo news subsidiary offices.

>If I were offered the chance to go, the person offering wouldn't even get to the end of the sentence before I said "Hell, yes."

If they had the moon base personnel from the "UFO" series I'd be right with ya on that.

Google Ads somehow thinks Bali's moving in a big way, I guess...

Bali: Discount Hotels
Book Now for Christmas & New Year Choose from 200+ Hotels, 70% Off
www.indo.com

:-)

Morning all
Speaking of space, watch the skies Thursday night.
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/12/06/science/space/06shuttle.html?ref=science

The Adventures of Jo - el on the Starship Achenblog.

(Second blogisode of a series)

Jo - el and Joel

The Achenblog's captain, Jo - el, was a descendant of the galaxy famous journalist, Joel Achenbach. Jo - el was a great, great ... something or other of Joel's. He didn't have to keep track of such things, as the Achenblog had a ship's historian, Lou Lou Loomis, to do that. Lou Lou's genealogical database was so extensive that it required it's own computer, which was a good thing, because the Achenblog's computer systems groaned under the weight of all of the messages it's crew were sending.

Jo - el was button bustlingly proud of his ancient ancestor. Joel was the first journalist to receive the most coveted Arbusto Award. For much of his career, Joel had thought that the Pulitzer prize was to be sought after. The Arbusto Award came almost by accident. It is an annual award, given to the journalist who's writings most belong in outer space that year. In fact, it was bestowed on the entire band of authors and intellectual giants who called themselves "The Boodle". The revolutionary notion of using recycled newspapers for rocket fuel for space travel came about from a wisecrack that Joel had made, and "The Boodle" expanded upon.

During the awards ceremony at the White House, on earth, a rocket made from the new paper Mache invention was launched by President Cheney. It immediately went off course, and grazed Joel's head. That gave his hair the permanent flyaway look that became the signature look for the Achenbach's for all these generations. Joel treasured his Arbusto Award, keeping it hidden securely in his den, under a huge stack of newspaper articles written about him. After Joel's death, the stack was recycled, and the Arbusto Award was tragically lost forever. But it did make some good rocket fuel.

Continued ...

Don,
I'm on the edge of my seat. Great stuff.

Psst. Don't tell Arbusto that the Moon is a terrible military platform. He'll lose interest.

You just knew that it was going to be either Achenbach or Weingarten to be the first at WaPo to have fanfic written about him...

Tomorrows night launch is scheduled for (just before? blame the Times) 9:36pm
More good stuff at.
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/12/05/science/space/05stat.html?ref=science

I'm sorry I missed the discussion re. Boeing Ft. Luna at Moonbase Alpha sponsored by FedEx yesterday.

I have a fundamental belief that manned spaceflight is imperative to the success of the human species in the long term.

As mankind's knowledge has grown, so have his dreams and nightmares. As we've learned about our place in the universe, we've learned about the vast powers that govern it; some of which we have learned to use, some are still far beyond us. But in that process, we've had to face something that our predecessors never had to: understanding the mechanisms that hold the possibility of the extinction of the human species, and perhaps all life on earth. And that end could come at our own hand or through a staggering variety of "natural" events (granted, ancient texts describe global catastrophe and the End of Times, but they're typically supernatural and not anything anyone can do something about without divine intervention).

Mankind has shown an amazing ability to make our thoughts and dreams real. In our modern world, we do things every day that were once thought impossible, but someone, somewhere, dreamed it and believed it and made it real. And now we have nightmares of The End of Man and global catastrophe, and dreams of seeing what this big beautiful universe holds for us. Both can happen. And neither, I suppose.

But to RD's point, I think it may be a major accomplishment just to keep ourselves alive here on Earth, much less on the ISS, on the Moon, Mars, the moons of the Jupiter and Saturn, the Oort clouds, Alpha Centauri A, this here particular Orion arm (a nether region between the Perseus and Sagittarius arms), the whole darned galaxy, and everwhere we can see. So far, the successful expansion and adaptation of mankind to all parts of the globe with useful real estate and resources has been a defining characteristic of our species, and pretty handy for avoiding local problems/extinctions. So, do we wait for an Ultimate Suicide Bomber to unleash a Terrible Weapon on the world, for death to arrive from above in the form of an asteroid or a big bad solar flare, or for our little inadvertent Venusiforming experiment here to come to a cresendo in 50 or 100 or 500 years, like frogs in a stovetop pot of water asking ourselves, "Is it me or is it getting warm in here?" Are we OK with feeling so vulnerable or do we dare to dream that we can do something about it?

Could our looking at the Hubble Deep Field images now be similar to people in southern India or Indonesia looking out at the beautiful blue ocean 50,000 years ago, some thinking about how impossibly huge and dangerous the sea is, some thinking about making a really good canoe to see if new lands over the horizon (the South Pacific islands, Austrailia)?

We don't know exactly how to make a good enough dugout canoe to cross the ocean of night yet, but I think that if we stop trying we're resigning oursleves to being at the mercy of events rather than trying to control our own destiny. It ain't easy, but nothing worthwhile ever is.

Clearly, we need to make this world a better place for everyone, to keep Earth from becoming inhospitable to life as it exists now, and we need to continue to extend our understanding of ourselves, but won't it be wonderful to look up into the skies at night from wherever you are, and know the answer to the question, "Is anyone out there?"

We'll know that at least our family is looking back at us.

Apologies for the hyperbolic trajectory this comment took; blame it on Star Trek if you must.

Play my outro now; Queen's "'39"

bc

dmd asks: "what was it about Tang that was so appealing?"

Ab.so.lute.ly. Nothing.

Ivansmom asks: "What was that stuff called? The little freeze-dried tubes or sticks of ice cream, etc."

It's called something that the WaPo Wirty Dord filter would not permit.

Blogisode virus interruption (not to be confused with the fabric of Don's reality):

As Jo-el straightened his uniform in happy geneaological pride, another time hiccup struck, melting away the bridge temporarily to reveal large, dense, green, and big-infested jungle. Jo-el looked down and found himself wearing old-fashioned 21st century clothes, along with a large watch. He tapped it and heard a voice say "This mission, should you choose to accept it, Mr. Stripey, is to..."

Suddenly the hiccup ended and he was still straightening his uniform in his chair. But the watch remained, and he knew in any case it wouldn't be long before the next temporal hiccup hit again. He just wished his crew would work harder on the virus, because he was getting a little tired of being hiccuped back in the midst of certain moments. Ge'ne, the engineer had taken excessive pleasure in seeing him caught with pants down, Jo-el thought. He'd get Ge'ne transferred out, that guy always had a lean, hungry, punning eye.....

SCC: Bug-infested jungle. Although bigs infested that jungle, too.

Couple of quick items here as well:

If there is ice on the moon, I want the rights to bottle it and send it back to Earth.

If people are willing to pay $2.00 for a quart of water from aquifers in France or Fiji, imagine what they'd pay for REAL fresh water, water that has never ever been through any animal.

Also, I still think that the Joel Achenbach Celebrity Cruise Around The Solar System could be a moneymaker. How great would it be to take a months long cruise and see the sights of the system, hosted by our very own JA? How much would you pay? How long would it be before people started disappearing, but suddenly there was a lot more variety at the Cruise buffet? How long would it be before we heard the airlock cycle early in the morning, and someone asked over the Incontinental Breakfast, "Where's Joel?"

bc

The Adventures of Jo - el on the Starship Achenblog.

(Third blogisode of a series)

The bridge watch

On the bridge of the Achenblog, Jo - el decided that he better do something captainly on this watch. He had a suspicion that all of the studious attention his crew members gave to their workstations wasn't really entirely ship's work, but they were just too quick to cover their tracks before he could catch them at anything truly a violation of the company's work rules. Jo - el barked an order to the Achenblog's communications officer, Cassie.

"Send a sky report back to Earth", Jo - el ordered. Cassie gave the traditional reply, "Aye-aye, sir" and issued the same report that the Starship Achenblog had issued hundreds of times before, "Black sky, millions of stars visible." Cassie was chosen for the job as comms. officer because she could communicate with the Almighty. Jo - el didn't quite understand completely how that worked, but he wanted somebody nearby who did.

On this patrol, there was new navigator, named "Because", who was quickly nicknamed, "bc".

"Why is it that this starship sends in 'sky reports', they are always the same"? bc asked.

"I don't have a clue." Jo - el replied. "What Earth wants, Earth gets. After all, they still issue us our paychecks." Jo - el made the deliberately arcane reference as a joke to the ancient practice of using paper as a means of conducting a business transaction, rather than using it to make rocket fuel,.

Continued ...

Don,
The story is great, but I didn't two mental images of Jo-El doing the Picard Maneuver.

The Joel Achenbach Celebrity Cruise Around The Solar System is a great idea, if only because it abbreviates to JACCASS.

I have one quibble with what bc says. He asks "...some thinking about making a really good canoe to see if new lands over the horizon (the South Pacific islands, Austrailia)?"

Not Australia. New Zealand, aka Aotearoa. Australia already was inhabited at the time of the Polynesian expansion across the South Pacific, about 1-4k years ago (according to Wikipedia) and the Polynesian arrival at Aotearoa, 0.7-1.2k years ago. The Australians arrived at least 14k years ago, and maybe as much as 40-50k years ago.

Helium mining.

Change the song lyrics: "Mine on Harvst Moon, for me and my gal('s energy needs)."

Speaking of the space shuttle launch, three of the crew used to be "my folks" (in my beat area) when I was at Pax River NAS. Bob Curbeam, Bill Oefelein and Sunny Williams are all grads of the Navy Test Pilot School (TPS)there ('91, '95 and '93), and Curbeam is from Balmer while Oefelein is from NoVa. All three also served tours at Pax, and Curbeam won the "best thesis" honors at TPS (a very big deal there). IIRC, Curbeam and Oefelein are also "Top Gun" grads. Also aboard is Joan Higginbotham, who has no Pax connection, no Navy connection, and no regional connection. I just thought I'd mention her 'cuz she's babe-olicious.

BTW, Tang was great for making orange popsickles, especially if you increased the dosage about 20% above recommended. And of course in Boy Scouts and Explorers it was THE drink of choice, being highly portable on camping trips. Tang and ice-cold mountain spring water--ahhhhhh! Very bracing, especially with fire-blackened hot dogs, fire-burnt baked beans, fire-scorched biscuits, and fire-sintered S'mores. (Hey, cut me some slack--every gourmet cook's gotta start somewhere.)

Yellojkt, not flashing a red SCC card at your post, but can you clarify by "didn't two mental image" ?

Oh no, I have been affected by the dysgrammar virus as well.

Meanwhile, back in Iraq...

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/12/06/AR2006120600419.html?nav=hcmodule

Skimming through it...

"Our embassy of 1,000 has 33 Arabic speakers, just six of whom are at the level of fluent."

"...there is significant underreporting of the violence in Iraq....on one day in July 2006 there were 93 attacks or significant acts of violence reported. Yet a careful review of the reports for that single day brought to light 1,100 acts of violence."

I have heard the helium-3 mining concept mentioned for a long while. I think it will carry a little more significance once controlled laboratory fusion actually has been demonstrated. Until then, it's just silliness. After that demonstration, it could easily constitute a valid economic reason for manned exploration and mining (not to mention, powering the ships far more effectively than anything we can presently envision). The nice thing about fusion-powered spacecraft is that you don't need to maintain the mass of a vacuum vessel, so long as you only operate in vacuum. Run that reactor commando-style!

OK. Finished reading it.

Initial summary: Split the diff betwixt stay-the-course and cut-and-run, throw up a prayer for broad domestic unity on the way forward, plead for international cooperation, be realistic, be more candid about realities on ground, bring in all interested parties, negotiate, settle, agree, build consensus, and just try to get along for once. It's a bit of a grab bag. The over-under on how long it will take someone to say "It's a non-starter" is 31 minutes and I'll take the under.

Thank God I'm here.

SCC: Needed a verb, pesky things.

I don't need any mental images of Jo-El performing the Picard Maneuver. At least ten posters here know what I mean. Only two will admit it.

Possible best quote of Iraq Study Group report:

"If there were foreign forces in New Jersey, Tony Soprano would be an insurgent leader."

byoolin, I was hoping somebody'd notice that. Thanks for restoring my faith in humanity.

*Tim, I should have written that sentence more clearly. I was trying to paint a scene on a shore of southern India or Indonesia 50,000 years ago (which were inhabited at that point as you noted), and referencing the expansion of man from those places into the South Pacific islands and Austrailia afterward.

Also, there's an SCC to add "there are" between "if" and "new".

Navigator! Don, buddy! If there's anyone one on that Achentub who can fix *anything*, it's me. Perhaps I am the navigator in your universe, but in mine, I'm the Engineer. If I have to, I'll climb onto the warp drive nacelles, and nurse them myself.

bc

I didn't know that Ed Meese was a member of the Iraq Study Group. What's the matter, couldn't John Ashcroft get his mittens off in time to help out?

yello, I'll admit it. That's one.

"Yet a careful review of the reports for that single day brought to light 1,100 acts of violence."

And that's not counting the blog comments.

bc

Nicky Kristof at the NYT suggested a cut- and-walk strategy this past week.

Paul Krugman weighed in on the Iraq Study Group in Monday's op-ed--three days before schedule and definitely under 31 minutes (I remember it well because Krugman used the term "watered down" the same day I used the same phrasing to describe what the Senate was expected to do to James madison's declaration in 1812):

Look at what seems to have happened to the Iraq Study Group, whose mission statement says that it would provide an "independent assessment." If press reports are correct, the group did nothing of the sort. Instead, it watered down its conclusions and recommendations, trying to come up with something Mr. Bush wouldn't reject out of hand.

In particular, says Newsweek, the report "will set no timetables or call for any troop reductions." All it will do is "suggest that the president *could*, not *should*, begin to withdraw forces in the vaguely defined future."

And all this self-abasement is for naught. Senior Bush aides, Newsweek tells us, are "dismissive, even condescending" toward James Baker, the Bush family consigliere who is the dominant force in the study group, and the report. Of course they are. That's how bullies always treat their hangers-on.

Yello, I admit to knowing what the Picard maneuver is, though I believe there are several variants. The better known version refers to Picard's ordering the Stargazer into Warp 9 and heading directly for the Ferengi. The lesser known version has to do with something concerning him, Dr. Beverely Crusher, and a spray can of Proxima Centauri shellfish hormone that I'm afraid I can't post on the boodle.

Hey, here's a nice heroic dog story just in time for Christmas and our watch for first flurries of the winter.

http://www.wbir.com/news/archive.aspx?storyid=40172

The Adventures of Jo - el on the Starship Achenblog.

(Fourth blogisode of a series)

On patrol in the Scientist Quadrant

The starship Achenblog had recently completed a very harrowing patrol in the Gaulic Quadrant. The Gaul's were a humorless race, and Jo - el's incursion into their piece of the universe had set off a series of trans-galactic spats that had caused Jo - el's hair to become even more flyaway than before. Jo - el had made a few jokes at their expense during a diplomatic function that weren't received the way he thought they would be. He was glad to have his hair, such as it was, more or less intact when he left that Quadrant.

Now the Achenblog was in the Scientist Quadrant. Their rules about humor were also hard to understand, but at least they had reduced them to concise formulas. Jo - el felt better about being in the Scientist Quadrant now that the Achenblog's Science Officer, Tim, was on board. Tim was from this Quadrant, and spoke their language. If the going got rough, Jo - el knew that Tim, as well as other crewmembers, could deal with the Scientists. If you got a Scientist angry with you, you wouldn't necessarily get shot at. Their weapon of choice was the drive-by-lecture. In some ways, Jo - el dreaded that more than anything.

Suddenly, Jo - el could feel the steady hum of the Achenblog's engines grind to a halt. It occurred to him that the sick feeling he was getting in his stomach was the same one that his great ancestor Joel got when his car broke down in some dreadful place on earth called Chevy Chase.

Continued ...

I'm going to read the Iraq report now, but I have to say the first impression is not good:

Judging by the picture on WaPo.com, they didn't even bother publishing it in hardcover.

Joel, don't think you'll get any takers on the over. The report might be in the remaindered bin already.

bc

Best reason for a moon base is having a remote peaceful depository for old fools who never die (just smell like it).

Members of the ISG need to be the first to make the transit. They obviously covet some final glory, but suffer individually from the "old fools" complex. This happens when a person experiences a great success early in their career, often for random reasons, then takes on the messiah persona and gets fixated on repeating that narrow success formula endlessly, regardless of changes in circumstances. It works to the detriment of corporations and government, all too exposed to the infection. In this instance of the ISG, it trys to preempt the ideas and experiences of the generation actually experiencing the Iraq War first hand.

Having some humane systematic way to round up these broken clocks and put them in storage might better serve to save our civilization. These over-compensated personalities are history, just look and listen; which unfortunately does not prevent them from eclipsing better thinkers and strategies, and from being a permanent stain on the social fabric of nation's future.

Well, if you're doing the Picard Maneuver correctly, you *will* feel a gentle tug...

bc

My mother, c. 1970, thought Tang was just the ticket. Because we were seven, it was *much* lighter to schlep enough for a week home from the grocery store than, say, real food. And I remember the heated Tang, too. My Mum had a recipe called "Russian Tea" or some such nonsense, Tang with instant iced tea mix, heated with spices. Oh my. The average family's gastronomical index is much higher now than it was 35 years ago.

Perhaps Joel will write a kit on gastronomy, now that he's covered astronomy.

Speaking of which, folks, the flow of Boodle recipes is not even a trickle at this point. It's been days since I received a submission. Instead of a cookbook, we'll have a cookbrochure or cookpamphlet. dbioyoki@hotmail.com

Sorry, yoki, the recipes are on my "to do" list, which has freed up some now that I've written our annual Christmas letter (yes, my wife makes me write one of those damned things every year. She begs me to keep it under 200 pages. Sometimes I comply...sometimes I don't.)

But I'll get to them.

Joel, we're glad you're here too. You have to give the Iraq Study Group credit for putting together a more honest synthesis of the situation than anything we've heard so far officially (of course, that's what study groups do). It was wishful thinking to hope they'd suggest something transformative which would change the situation (that's not what study groups do). But between that and Gates's flat admission that we're not winning, at least a breath of reality is blowing near the White House bunker.

Remember those Trudeau cartoons from Watergate where the wall went up brick by brick? They're not stonewalling yet, but sure do have a lot of bubbles.

Has anyone ever mixed tang with any alcohol?

We tried it with Vodka and pineapple juice and it was called "shoot the moon".

Please forgive me we were just teenagers!

Me, too, Yoki.

I've been busy with holiday stuff.

bc

GWE, that doesn't sound like a cocktail. More like an enema.

I know Picard Maneuver and one of its variants. The Crusher variation was alluded to, but never actually shown IIRC. Its obviously connected to bc's 12:24.

See yellowjkt, more than 2. Its kind of sad that there is more than 2, but then again, its a really nice group to be included in.

I think the report is about as good as could be hoped. A lot of it reads like a vision statement: lots of goals but not a lot of alternate scenarios when those goals are not met. For example, the goal of reducing troop levels depends on no unforeseen security matters arising. Well, what do we do if there are?

I like the redeployment and change of mission ideas, although I question if the embedded bit will really work - we may end up policing the police. I would bet that what redeployment ends up being is US troops hiding within well-defended military bases throughout the country.

I'm relieved that neither abandonment nor segmentation is advocated.

I must admit I am a bit cynical about the success of regional solutions. Too many conflicting agendas. Still, I don't think anybody in the region wants an all-out civil war.

Anyway, I think it clearly outlines some laudable goals and strategies. I'm just not sure what guidance it provides when things start to go sour.

That's it boodlers, feed the Yoki monster or else I'll post a Tartiflette recipe. This is a poutine for grown up that is mostly made of fat. The good cholesterol is carefully distilled off from the preparation as well, so it is made mostly of bad cholesterol. It is heavenly.

If US military satellites can see a 6 in. object from space one wonders why a certain 6ft5in. Saudi of Yemenite origin hasn't been located yet. I suspect too much time is spent focused on Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue shooting locations.

Yoki: I remember Russian Tea. My mom made it circa 1975 or so. Good stuff. Although I am not sure what was Russian about it. This is pretty close to what my mom made:

1 lb. 2 oz. jar Tang
1 1/4 c. sugar
3/4 c. instant tea mix
1 tsp. cinnamon
Pinch salt
1/2 tsp. cloves

Mix all together. Add to cup of boiling water to suit taste.

Yoki
Maybe not an enema,but we sure could have used some of those bayer's children aspirin the next day.

Actually it wasn't that bad after the first few.

Off to work in my lunar ship.Do you think they will have Civic's on the moon?

The Adventures of Jo - el on the Starship Achenblog.

(Fifth blogisode of a series)

The Scientists

As the Achenblog grew suddenly quiet, the bridge crew cast nervous glances at each other. The voice of the Chief Engineer, Scotty, crackled over the starship intercom. As far back as Jo - el could remember, all Chief Engineers on starships had to be named Scotty, and speak with a brogue.

"Aye, cap'n, we've broken the Warp Engine InteGrated ArresTing Thing ENmagigy. Gi' me an hour to fix her, and we'll be on our way." he said. Without waiting for Jo - el's reply, a yellow jacketed engineer strode onto the bridge with a black box tucked under his arm, and immediately crawled into one of the bridge control panels, but never moved again. Joe - el never understood how these engineers kept their yellow jackets clean. Didn't the engine have to be covered with grease, or oil and dirt, or was that also some kind of historically based myth? Jo - el's musing were interrupted by Cassie.

"Captain, the Scientists are approaching. They have opened their drive-by-lecture doors. They want to know if you will be needing any advice."

The Achenblog was very lightly armed, and had absolutely no armor. The only weapon at it's disposal was the "Effving Cannon", but that required a very steady handed gunners mate, and had a serious limitation. Jo - el never wanted to use it, even as a last resort.

Jo - el brushed his flyaway hair and tapped his communicator button, "Tim, please report to the bridge" he said.

Continued ...

Shrieking Denizen:

It's hard to see through rocks.

Trust me, I've tried.

40oz. Alcool, 1 package of Tang. Fall down, vomit, crawl out of Metro(subway) and continue on way to Howling Wolf concert at Place De Nations in Montreal

>Has anyone ever mixed tang with any alcohol?

I think I might've had some mixed with PCP in 1976, does that count?

Yoki - I have one more recipe that has family significance. It is for PA Dutch cookies. I will post it later this evening, and then send it.

Shrieking Denizen. Were you blowing up uranium in Elliott Lake during the 70's?

Shrieking, if you have a Tartiflette recipe, you might know of something else I've been looking for, without success. A giant pie-like casserole with layers of various meats, including game (usually) and root vegetables, with a hole in the top crust to pour in additional broth when the stew requires it. This is a very old Quebecois thing (like, going back to New France), but I cannot find a recipe (or perhaps instructions would be more accurate) to save my life. Ceepie? Sipie? Pronounced, if I recall correctly, See-Py. Does this ring any bells?

wasn't there a commercial "space flight" that a millionaire bought? i seem to remember something about a non-NASA space flight... i, too, would LOVE to go on a space flight (and i don't have a wife to nix the idea!) talk about extreme sports!

don from i-270 (so glad you are back and feeling better!) i could see this turn into a stng!

joel - that article is really depressing - what's even more depressing is that arbusto says "while cautioning that he probably will not agree with all of them." duh! he won't agree with anything that's not in his agenda! it's the same thing people have been telling him for ages now!

RD, I think you've got it! That looks just like the Russian Tea my mother made. I used to like a cup after skiing.

Don't you think the Iraqi Study Group press conference slid downhill in a hurry when former Sen. Alan K. Simpson starting yammering about split infinitives?

I'd have rather heard about whether the panel discussed splitting up Iraq. Robin Wright of the Washington Post was first out of the gate during the Q&A phase of this morning's event.

Padouk, we should have had laudable strategies when we went into the war:

Dowd today, her op-ed titled "Goodness Gracious! The Truth!" (Ivansmom echoes the thinking in her post):

There was no blathering yesterday about "known unknowns" or "Henny Penny" pessimists. The soft-spoken, vanilla Mr. Gates offered a sharp contrast from the finger-wagging, flavorful Rummy. In a remarkable shift from the mindless bellicosity and jingoism of the last few years, Mr. Gates said he did not favor military action against Iran or Syria.

Even though he was a member of the Iraq Study Group, Mr. Gates conceded that there would be no silver bullet. "It's my impression that, frankly, there are no new ideas on Iraq," he said. Asked by Robert Byrd [about] who was responsible for 9/11, Saddam or Osama, Mr. Gates did not try to fudge. "Osama bin Laden, Senator," he replied. Asked who has represented a greater threat to the U.S., he repeated "Osama bin Laden."

Yoki, sounds like you're looking for "p'tit pie" (literally, "little pie").

Je caller ma mère ce soir and I'll ask her if she connais what it is.

Merci milles fois, Shrieking.

The mind fades since STNG has been off for a good while now, but wasn't the Picard Maneuver a defensive ploy against Romulan attack? The little jacket tug got some similar sobriquet.

LOL padouk. So he doesn't come up for a bit of fresh air and walking the dog in the daytime then. I'm surprised. The NSA/HS/DoD should sell their absolutely fantastic rock-by-rock maps of northern Pak/south Afghanistan.

(note to self : no more skinny dipping in the backyard pool)

In a more distressing news the Times reports the capture of a poor pakistani man who was recruited by an cleric in Pakistan to conduct a suicide bombing. (I will not use "suicider"). The man didn't seem to have religious motivation, he did it because he was promised his family would receive $20000 upon completion of his mission. A strict business deal in which the cleric prayed on the man's extreme poverty. Sheesh. That cleric sure was some man of god.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,3-2490043,00.html

don, don't forget that in addition to the effing canon, we've got the effing bot - we're just not sure how it works or whose side it's on.

Maybe no water on the moon, but evidence of it on Mars:

http://www.nasa.gov/mission_pages/mars/news/mgs-20061206.html

Yoki,
Cipaille is the most common way of writing it. The best ones are made with a variety of game meat (duck, grouse, moose, etc) with some pork to add a fatty meat. It can be made with domestic meat as well, of course. I haven't made one in ages, so you are tempting me. It is a team effort as I cook and Mrs. D bakes so I need her help with the crust. I will make some research and get bck to you.

Boko, not in Elliot lake. I was experimenting with solvent extraction of U from phosphatic rocks in a lab with pisspour health and safety practices. I must have vented 30 kg of HCl through that vent during the summer. Even as an undergrad I knew thee as omething deeply wrong there. Those were the days.

SGG back and
there was something

the gremlins are eating my letters!

How great is the Boodle? Ask and you shall receive. Cipaille! I've been searching for this for quite literally 10 or more years.

RD, that sounds familiar, although my mom didn't call it Russian tea, but rather Constant Comment (an commerical tea that is similar). She used to premix it with tang etc. then keep it in the cupboard.

It is rather like a hot toddy or mulled cider minus the booze or juice, isn't it?

We had that "Russian Tea" too. In fact, shortly after Ivansdad & I were married, his mom gave us a little jar of it she'd mixed up since it was his favorite - possibly with vintage Tang. I tactfully waited about twelve years to throw it out. Wilbrod, Constant Comment is different. It is an actual tea blend of strong loose black tea, citrus peel and spices.

Yoki, I will get you at least the braised radish recipe. I think the only other thing I've posted on the Boodle is Basic Pasta, which really doesn't need to go in a cookbook, but I'll see what else is Boodleworthy. As we're almost to Christmas cooking, I may inflict something else soon.

Culinary Tim, when I was a child that Freeze-Dried Space Food was exotic, sophisticated, not an everyday food, and a real treat. Like yogurt. Of course, now yogurt is yet another bow in my nutritional quiver, while FreezeDried Food is a mere relic of the past. Okay, perhaps your culinary criticism is valid.

Thanks again, Shrieking. I am really thrilled!

Forensic cookery -- a passion of mine since 2nd year University when I attended the legendary medieval feast hosted annually by one of the professors at Queen's.

Armed with the correct name, I have located at least three authentic-looking recipes for Cipaille. The best is from The National Library, which reports that the earliest written reference found is 1747, but the dish was well known very much prior to that. This would be just about correct, since the dish is spiced with ground cloves, nutmeg, cinnamon, allspice -- a very medieval and immediately post-medieval treatment of meat.

I shall begin experimenting with this over the holidays; I might even whip up a nice syllabub to follow.

Ahhhhh, Dr. Crusher... *dreamy look*

:-)

Don, I'm honored, but bc's right -- he's the engineer, I'm the comic relief.

I thought S'nuke was the temporary assistant deputy recess appointment shop steward? And Scotty, nice write-up on your boss (or his boss, or whatever).

Don,
For the screen version, can we make the Gaullic spaceships look like obsolete Citreons?

my question is... who's Data?

Don, what about Geordi? Trip? Miles? B'elanna? Who wouldn't prefer Roxann Dawson even in heavy makeup to makeupless James Doohan, at least to look at, if not work with.

http://www.roxanndawson.net/career.html

She's now a producer-director on "
Crossing Jordan", BTW.

I'm looking forward to further miscasting by Don...

I love the Russian Tang-tea when winter hiking. Made with decaf instant tea, tang, sugar, and lemonade mix, plus some spices, it's a great drink in the evening around camp. The hot liquid warms you up, it rehydrates you, and the sugars provide some fuel to keep you warmer through the night. My new hiking partner and I will be out this weekend -- projected Friday low of 10-F. Brisk. Not sure it's supposed to get above freezing all weekend. Need to make some Russian tea mix, but I'm afraid our cabinets are Tang-free at the moment.

I'm not through the Iraq report, but I thought "sectarian fault lines" to be an interesting turn of phrase.

Can't say I've learned much from it so far.

mo, I believe that several people have paid $20M US for Cosmonaut training and a ride on a Russian Soyuz to the ISS and back (about a week round trip). IIRC the passsengers typically make up the difference in launch/flight costs for what NASA pays the Russians to service the ISS.

bc

Don't forget to spike it with a little vodka, Bigncranky ;).

Two separate strands with one very logical connection, and nobody's mentioned wessels yet.

Thanks, yellojkt. :-)

bc,
Then the US invasion was the proverbial Super Villain's nyukular bomb in the "sectarian fault line" that caused the current realignment of the sectarian plates. Some after-tremors are still expected.

Somehow in my mind Russian tea should involve some vodka. The Russian diplomats around here (there is quite a number of them) don't have much money but have access to lots of very cheap vodka. Some guys have taken to ice fishing, an activity that is mostly about keeping oneself warm by various means, including the consumption of vast quantity of cheap vodka. In 2001, a "fisherman" returning from a very wet afternoon in the shack plowed into two women taking a walk, killing a well liked lawyer (she was doing social work) and maiming her friend. It turned out the Russian diplomat had been already arrested twice and freed twice by showing his diplomatic passport. The locals were not happy about that, I can tell you.
Russia did not lift his immunity but called him back. After much diplomatic pressure he was accused in Russia, which was highly unusual, as drunken guys causing accidents are not routinely charged in Russia. He got a max of 4 years in a minimum-security facility.

I think a Georgian diplomat killed a pedestrian in Washington too, but Georgia lifted the immunity of the guy, right?

http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9F02E4DA1338F933A15750C0A9649C8B63&n=Top%2fReference%2fTimes%20Topics%2fSubjects%2fD%2fDiplomatic%20Immunity

Thanks, yellojkt. :-)

*pardon if this posts twice*

yoki, I just e-mailed you two recipes, my Vidalia Onion doozy, and one for my killer skillet green beans (featuring wine AND brandy).

For god's sake, post that Cipaille recipe featuring the cloves, nutmeg, cinammon, etc.--just thinking about it has made me light-headed and weak in the knees (and I don't have good knees anymore, either).

Constant Comment... people are always talking about that tea.

Somehow I'm imagining the Gaullic spaceship looking less like an old Citroen and more like the ship in "Flesh Gordon."

Definitely more -llic, anyway.

Thought some of you older folks would enjoy that warped drive down m- , er, memory lane.

bc
PS If Joel deletes this, I understand.

The whole "no new ideas" poison from Gates is so indicative of managerial ineptitude throughout the federal government.

I was taught that the beginning of wisdom in mangement is the understanding that people don't do what they are told to do, they do what they are paid to do.

Applying this principle to Iraq implies tactics that are the exact reverse of what been recently announced. What need be done, is reward and protect those areas that cooperate, facilitate physical relocation of those who want to live in such sane communities, and let Baghdad burn. Common sense in rewarding comity is something that worked during the recovery period in other wars; but, no, this certainly has no place in the outcomes our war managers would encourage. They would choose to throw more of our precious troups and depleting resources into the pit.

I think omni could play Data, mo--he's nearly as techno-geeky as ScienceTim, and works in IT.

True, nobody's mentioned weasels, Wilbroad, but we've been very close to wassails several times.

And while we're on the topic, Wilbrod, don't think I know that you're leading up to the Jadzia Dax vs. 7 of 9 Gagh Wrestling scene.

SD, that 2:12 made me laugh.

bc

SCC: "Qagh". Sorry, my Klingon's rusty.

bc

The Adventures of Jo - el on the Starship Achenblog.

(Sixth blogisode of a series)

Tim's tactics

When Tim appeared on the bridge, Jo - el ushered his Science Officer over to communications suite. "Talk to these guys, would you? You know, Scientist to Scientist. Tell them anything. Tell them I really LIKE Scientists. Tell them that I've always wanted to be one, that I've always envied their huge intellectual capacity. Tell them that I dated one in high school." The thought of that nearly made Jo - el gag. "Anything, just don't let them start with the drive-by-lectures."

Tim spoke with the Scientists in their own language for quite some time. The language sounds like a mix of and ancient earth called Latin and mathematics, peppered with a rhythm of talking that ancient earthlings used to call "rap". After a few minuets, Tim was exhausted. Even though Jo -el could only partly understand the language, he could tell that the Scientists weren't buying a word Tim said.

Continued ...

bc... HA!

This is for you, 'Mudge.

Cipaille or cipate (layered meat pie)

Yield: 8 servings

2 lb red game: elk, venison or cariboo (or use additional stewing beef)
2 lb. white meat: pheasant, grouse, veal or chicken
2 lb lean beef
2 lb lean pork
4 md onions, coarsely chopped
1/4 lb salt pork, thinly sliced
2 c potatoes, peeled and cubed (or a combination of potatos, turnips, carrots, parsnips)
1 ts Salt
1/2 ts ground black pepper
1/4 ts mixed ground cloves, nutmeg, cinnamon, allspice to make ¼ tsp total, or more to taste
2 c chicken or brown stock (approximate)

Traditionally this layered pie is best made with game.

Servings: 8 to 10

Pastry for double crust pie.

Cut chicken, beef and pork into 1 inch cubes and place in a large bowl. Combine with onions; and spices (excluding salt and pepper), cover and refrigerate for at least 12 hours or overnight.

Arrange salt pork evenly in the bottom of a 3 quart casserole, preferably cast iron with a cover. Layer with 1/3 of the meat mixture and 1/3 of the potatoes; season with 1/3 of salt and pepper.

Roll out half of the pastry slightly thicker than for a normal pie and arrange on the potato layer, cutting a small hole in the centre. Repeat with 2 more layers of meat and potatoes seasoned with salt and pepper.

Cover with remaining pastry, cutting a small hole in the centre (but big enough to allow you to add broth during cooking without flooding the pastry).

Slowly add enough stock through the hole until liquid appears.

Cover dish and bake in a preheated 400 deg F oven for 45 minutes or until liquid simmers.

Reduce temperature to 250 deg F and continue to bake, covered, for 5 to 6 hours more or until top crust is a rich golden brown.

Check the level of liquid and add stock as need to prevent the cipaille scorching.

Serve with a green salad and lots of red wine (this is a Yoki addition!).

SCC: Er, make that Wilbrod, not Wilbroad. Not a Freudian slip, I swear!

I'll have to make a bit of research for the Cipaille. The last I made had a good quantity of caribou meat that that was given to me. I added some other wild stuff but I made from memory, inspired by a former gf's mother recipe. Her cipaille was heavenly, but in that family of hunters she had access to hare, grouse, wild duck, moose and other critters. She inseisted on mking it in the oven part of a wood burning stove for that extra smoky flavor. Miam.
I have access to grey, black and red squirrels so I think I will find a domesticated recipe.

Yoki, talk about your hungry man meal!

Shrieking, this is a more "domesticated" Cipaille that I found. It might do:

To serve 6-7 :
1 lb. (454g) pork, cubed
1 lb. (454g) beef, cubed
1 rabbit or 1 turkey drumstick
1 chicken leg
2 chicken breasts
1 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. pepper
1 large onion, chopped
1/4 tsp. summer savoury
2-3 slices salt pork

Proceed as above.

Thanks Yoki.
Hey, here is an idea: 3-squirrels meat pie.

Put my money on Jadzia with a KO in the third round. Normally I would give 7of9 an edge, but in a Qagh-filled pit, Dax has the home turf.

The Adventures of Jo - el on the Starship Achenblog.

(Seventh blogisode of a series)

Ivan's Mother

"Oh, Mom..." Jo - el strangled the word "mommy" when he realized that wasn't a captainly thing to say, but it was too late. The Achenblog's computer pieced together the meaning of the sentence, and replied,

"Your mother is not on board the Achenblog at this time. Ivan's mother is on board, however. I will send her to the bridge."

Ivan's mother stepped onto the bridge, wearing the ancient, traditional, costume of her profession: a charcoal grey suit with tiny vertical stripes, and padding around her shoulders that resembled something worn by a class of ancient gladiators called "linebackers". "I'm due to transport to intergalactic court in five minuets" she said tersely.

"Fine." Replied Jo - el. "See if you can talk their lawyers into some kind of peaceful settlement." The lawyers spoke in what sounded like almost pure Latin. Again, Jo - el could tell that the situation was getting yet even worse. After a moment, Ivan's mother turn to Jo - el, and said with a very self satisfied look, "Well, I've done my job".

"What?" Jo - el cried, "it sounds like you've made matters even worse!"

"That IS my job" she retorted, and marched toward the transporter room, with the hiss of the bridge door closing behind her. Again, Jo - el brushed his fingers through his flyaway hair and reluctantly tapped his communicator badge. He was running out of options.

"Mudge..." he called.

Continued ...

Thanks for that amended recipe, yoki. We don't see a lot of caribou around the DC area. We have an Elk's lodge, but I don't think you're allowed to kill them.

You rang, Herr Kapitan?

Get Smart on DVD! (a bit pricey...)

http://wouldyoubelieve.com/dvd.html

Ditto for the members of the Loyal Order of Moose Curmudgeon, they are not in season.

dmd, you're not kidding! The only real occasion to serve such a thing is if the menfolk have been out in the back forty during in a blizzard (in their pyjamas).

Or during a very large Christmas family gathering (after the menfolk come back from...) which is where my French Canadian stepmother remembers it.

In my case, I shall try it out on a group of 16 of us who are going mountain hiking with some 24 dogs on the 27th. If it doesn't turn out well, I'm sure the BMDs will scarf the leftovers (not really, too many onions in the recipe for that).

Perhaps Mo was refering to the Butan designed spacecraft thet won the X prize recently.

Maybe the Oddfellows would voluteer to be eaten.

Moose curmudgeons are almost too terrible to contemplate...

:-)

>Get Smart on DVD! (a bit pricey...)

mo, I saw that. At least you get five seasons. I just paid $150 for two seasons of The Monkees in the nifty "phonograph" containers, so... Overall the per-season price isn't too far off the others. Hogan's Heroes was like $30/season I think.

mo, you just made my Christmas! I shall inflict this on #1 and #2. They get the Python references, and most of Beyond the Fringe, but are left cold when Himself and I talk about shoe phones, cones of silence and plastic lips.

Wow. Space, recipes, and cannablism all before 3 pm. Chuck in Mr. Stripey and we'll have concocted a Escape Pod Stew.

Be careful, Yoki. Last year we gave our kids a couple of seasons of The Waltons and I think the package is still in the shrinkwrap.

The back story:

A few years ago on one of our road trips, we made a stop in Schuyler, Virginia, the home of Earl Hamner (the writer of the Waltons and the real John Boy Walton). We visited the Walton Mountain Museum and spent an hour or so there viewing exhibits about the TV show and the Hollywood and real Hamner family.

When we left, as we were walking to our car, one of the kids turned to the other and said, "So, I guess it was some kind of TV show."

Thanks 'mudge', I'll gladly be 'Data'.

and then there's this:

Off-camera, staff members began to jokingly refer to Patrick Stewart's habit of tugging down his shirt as he stood up as the "Picard Maneuver".

Boko, in space no one can hear you burp.

TBG, glad you liked that. You will appreciate the fact that I resisted an urge to bring the USS Swinetrek into the bit.

bc

Scottynuke, I'm overdue for a remedial punctuation course. Thanks for pointing it out.

Drinking alcohol on a winter hike may not be the best idea, but it's fun to think about.

Speaking of TV shows, I found the complete Homicide: Life on the Street series, 7 seasons on 35 DVDs for $150 at Amazon. This is a new release. I hesitate to suggeston a public forum that I might have purchased it for a gift this hoiday season, but I might.

I'm on pins and needles waiting for my appearance in blogisode 7. Does this tunic make me look fat? Which side is my best side? OK, I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. Don.

but tbg - the waltons! snore-fest!

get smart - on the otherhand - they can relate to! it's "futuristic" in 70's clothes! (i hate to admit i don't remember very much of it - i was a LITTLE kid when it was in syndication - but i remember the shoe phone... and the opening sequence)

10 million tribbles can be shaved and replace a chicken leg.

I anticipate a Curklingon that happens to look like Paul Newman with ridges, Mudge.

Though the chicken might limp a bit.

Wilbrod, not the Mudge of Gothos??

Or would that be the mo of Gothos???

:-)

It's Redford, dammit, Wilbrod. Redford. Not Newman. Redford.

The Adventures of Jo - el on the Starship Achenblog.

(Eighth blogisode of a series)

Gunners mate Curmudgeon and the Effving Cannon

After waiting a moment, Jo - el tapped his coms. button again, "Mudge?" The starship's computer answered, "Gunners mate Curmudgeon is not on board the Achenblog"

"Where is he?" Jo - el asked.

"Gunners mate Curmudgeon took shore leave on starbase Carolina" said the computer.

"What idiot authorized that?" shot back Jo - el.

"You did." Jo - el thought for a moment that he heard the computer snicker when it said that. Mudge was the Achenblog's chief gunners mate. Although many, many generations separated the Achenblog's crew from the generation of Joel Achenbach, only a couple of generations had passed from those days until this one. In fact, it was his grandfather who helped Professor Effving to develop the "Effving Cannon".

The Effving Cannon was a very very dangerous weapon. When properly fired, it could totally devastate it's target. However, if used to much or too rapidly, it would cause an uncontrollable chain reaction that would vaporize the cannon, the starship it was on, and everything else for light years around. The problem was, firing the cannon was addictive. Once you took a shot, you immediately wanted to take another and then another. First, you see a brilliant white light for a moment, next you are space dust. Firing the cannon was only for those gunners mates who had the right stuff to do it.

Jo - el was in a jam. He was broke down in space, with menacing Scientists all around him, and no Chief Gunners mate.

Continued ...

mo, mo, mo. 1960s, please.

The satire on cold war paranoia in the series is priceless. #1 and #2 have studied enough history (and have well-honed senses of irony) to find it funny, I think.

yoki - 60's?!?!?!?! really?? no wonder i don't remember much of it - i wasn't born till the 70's... i remember all the polyester outfits 99 wore and just assumed it was the 70's...

I anticipate an Admiral Curmudgeon who's been promoted to a desk, and can't stand sailing a desk anymore. He wants to get back into the action, so he's angling for Jo-el's Center Chair.

bc

All that build-up...and I'm AWOL. And I've let my captain down.

*sobs quietly in corner*

Beats looking like Don Knotts anyway, Mudge.

John Laroquette played a Klingon extra in one of those Star Trek movies. He said he nicknamed his character (which had no name) "Fudge." Which rhymes with something, I can't think what.

Think spinoff 'Mudge.

Yoki here's another recipe detective:
Uncle Phaedrus Consulting Detective and Finder of Lost Recipes

http://www.hungrybrowser.com/phaedrus/archives.htm

Ya know, I was just dead certain that Effving cannon was going to be methane- or flatulence-powered. I coulda bet on it.

Just one disappointment after another today. *sigh*

Whoops, a BOO on my 3:27.

Yeah, mo, in the 70's nobody'd be caught dead in those pegleg pants Agent 86 would wear. Bell-bottoms, baby.

Of course, none of this mattered when the Nude Bomb went off...[insert your own cold war joke here].

bc

And the men wear hats whenever they go outdoors. By the 70s, most men had too much hair and couldn't have worn a hat even if they'd wanted.

Mo, I know I'm ancient, but now I really feel it. To think that someone born in the 70s is, like, an adult!

Yoki, people born in the 80s are like, adults!
Or pretend to be, in the case of my son the Fungi.

Sorry, guys. Men's hats died in the early 60s; JFK killed 'em. True.

The Adventures of Jo - el on the Starship Achenblog.

(Ninth blogisode of a series)

Battle stations

As the Scientists drove by the Achenblog, lecturing, some of the crew tried to get off a shot or two of their own. Throughout the starship, lights blinked, smoke billowed, sparks flew, booms boomed, and a few crewmembers even quit sending messages to each other. Even though the crew was battle hardened by their encounter with the Gauls, this was, nonetheless, a day to remember.

Some crewmembers pleaded with Jo - el to let them use the Effving Cannon. He stubbornly refused, mostly because he knew the consequences. He had known other starship captains who had been blown to bits by it, and had decided that it just wasn't worth (to use another ancient phrase that mysteriously has continued to this day) "the paperwork".

As always, there is somebody who doesn't get the email. One crewmember broke open the lock to the Effving Cannon. Locked and loaded, just one shot. I can do just one shot, thought the crewman.

Soon, Jo - el saw the dreaded brilliant white light, and opened his mouth wide in a loud, terrified, and agony drenched scream.

Continued ...

byoolin,

I have some mental drafts of fanfic involving Amy and Roxanne over at the Reliable Source. However, I doubt it could pass the terms of service for the Boodle.

Mudge, you might be AWOL because you're secretly prepping your blue-bottomed Berzerker-class Death Dreadnaught (hull number "MG 73") for secret last-second assault to save the Achenblog from a Gaulling. The MG 73 flies straight out of the sun, blasting the big single-barreled methane powered WindBreaker cannon at the last second and saves the day. Mudge gets the girl - Eccentrica Gallumbits - and all live happily ever after.

bc

sheesh! i shoulda known - i killed time yesterday youtubing "hair" the movie - talk about bell bottoms and long hair!

bc - i LIKE those peg leg suits!

Darn! Darn! Darn! Just when it's getting good, I have to run for the bus (got my wife's company Xmas party to go to). And I'm wondering when the good ship Achenblog entcounters the deadly Rovestorm.

This is better than Don Winslow of the Coast Guard! (http://www.uscg.mil/hq/g-cp/history/faqs/Don_Winslow_Poster.jpg)

LOL your 3:55 and the Berzerker class Death Dreadnought, bc. And is Eccentrica Gallumbits played by Molly Fleeberhoven?

"And is Eccentrica Gallumbits played by Molly Fleeberhoven?"

Would she need any prosthetics for the role?

bc

A return trip to the moon is as useful as tits on a bull as my grandfather used to say.

http://intrepidliberaljournal.blogspot.com

You made me do it, guys. I made turkey pot pie and I'm now compelled to tang up some Russian tea.

I'm a little surprised Jo-el didn't run into Harcourt Mudge. Although that moustache could be played by Weingarten, no?

http://memory-alpha.org/en/index.php?title=Harcourt_Mudd&redirect=no

I expect I'll be miscast as the Square of Gnomos, of course. Sculptures instantly conjured up.

I should add: thanks, Mudge.

I think that I set a new bar for myself with that 3:55 post in terms of the number of obscure references (11 intentional). And a bad pun.

What can I say - I'm dense.

bc

"Oh, crude example of an infinitely more sophisticated process! You see, we can not only transport matter from place to place, but we can alter its shape - at will!"

Heck, Wilbrodog does that too, as some battered items from his puppy days can testify to.

Wilbrod, that's great!

"Mudge's Women"

I'm falling out of my chair here. OMG. Somebody help me. Laughing. Can't type. Trying to breathe.

bc

Wilbrod, were you referring to the "nuclear wessels" that Chekhov was looking for?

You got that reference right, Raysmom.

That would explain Mudge's untimely absence from shipboard-- busy setting up mail order bride deals and smuggling Venus pills for certain as-yet-unnamed female crewmembers.

S'nuke... That article about Ed McGaffigan is beautiful. The nice thing is to see it written while he's still alive.

Thanks for pointing us to it. I love to read the success stories... the bosses that people love.

Exactly my sentiments, TBG. Thanks. :-)

The Adventures of Jo - el on the Starship Achenblog.

(Final blogisode of a series)

The aftermath

Joel Achenbach's wife had been shaking him, trying to get him to wake up. He was screaming at the top of his lungs. Finally, she walloped him, the maneuver named for a British admiral.

Joel opened his eyes. No brilliant white light, no space dust.

"How many times have I told you that reading your science journals and eating that man-food junk late at night gives you nightmares?"

"But it was sooo real. And the Boodle was in it, too." Joel brushed his flyaway hair, just to make sure it was still there, and propped himself up on one elbow.

"Well, Dorothy, you're back in Kansas now. By the way, Gene called. He said you promised to help him fix his lawnmower. Since when did you become a maintenance engineer?"

Joel flopped back down on his bead, and brushed his fingers through his flyaway hair again. This time, he thought he felt something moving. He looked, but didn't see anything. Meanwhile, hundreds of microscopic nanites were moving off of Joel's hair into an obscure corner of the bedroom. There they began to reassemble themselves into a space transmitter.

On the other side of the universe, a race of creatures prepared to receive the transmit ion from Joel's bedroom. Some of their scientists had speculated that there was life, possibly even intelligent, on the other side of the universe. Depending on the level of intelligence of the creatures that they surveyed, they would decide on trying to communicate with them. The word these creatures used for any unknown lifeform was: Arbusto.

The end.

My co-workers are going to think I'm insane. You guys have me snorting uncontrollably. At least it diverted me from trying to name my birthday present. It's a blond doll in a red Nova convertible. I *have* to come up with something more PC than "White Trash Barbie."

I received a letter from the Canadian Feds inviting me to take something called a Wonderlic Personnal (sic?) Test. Will there be those find the next number in the sequence questions? I suck at those.

I'm cooking a bean recipe in my slowcooker that calls for medium temperature. My cooker has low and high so I set it to high and the thing is bubbling away. I wonder if I should turn it to low or just keep an eye on it.

Raysmom, I'd call her Frankie. And I will make a donation to the charity of her/his choice in the name of the first Boodler to decode *that* 70s pop-culture reference.

This the test boko?

http://www.cra-arc.gc.ca/careers/working/wonderlic-e.html#8

Not Frankie Muniz, from The Wonder Years (set in the 70s)?

>first Boodler to decode *that* 70s pop-culture reference.

Frankie and Johnny?

Neither Raysmom nor Error is correct.

Found the Get Smart set for $97.99 on www.raredvds.tv. Anyone know if they're legit?

dmd- That's the one. Thanks.

I was trying to find the reference and I came across this ballad of Hurricane Katrina "The Ballad of Frankie Lee"

http://www.nyc.com/people/200motels/blog/3218/The_Ballad_of_Frankie_Lee

My first thought was "Frankie" by Mississippi John HUrt, but that's not 1970's-- "...He did her wrong."

Ann Magnuson in "Making Mr. Right"?

Ann Magnuson in "Making Mr. Right"?

Frankie Lymon and the Teenagers?

Ok, maybe it was just too darn obscure. I was thinking "just another Italian in a red car" which took me to Frank Zappa (Billy the Mountain) and that took me to Frankie, which is a great name for a girl in a red car.

Tang. Check.

But do we have any Space Food Sticks aboard?

I liked the chocolate peanut butter flavor.

Funny, but I don't think these were marketed everywhere. How did we get them, in the wilds of Montana.

Any others remember this chocolatey Slim Jim-like snacks?

///....com/people/200motels/blog/3218/The_Ballad_of_Frankie_Lee///

You'd think that with 200motels in the address it would be the "Ballad of Frankie Zappa

Frankie Avalon?

Boko999, is it possible we are the same person?

Yoki If you're a Zappa fan how dare you reprimand me for being coarse. I'm gonna need a trailer to haul this much umbrage away. :-P

Since no one else has mentioned it yet:

Evidence for actual liquid water (temporarily) on the surface of Mars:

http://www.nasa.gov/mission_pages/mars/news/mgs-20061206.html

If water really does still flow occassionally on Mars, that gets us ice. Now with a few more ingredients, we're talking Bloody Marys, which puts me there!

Frankie Muniz might very well have been born while The Wonder Years was on the air, but he certainly wasn't in it, except maybe as somebody's baby. That's Fred Savage. Who wouldn't have been doing much in the 70's, himself, but he played a 60's-to-70's person on TV.

I offer humble apologies, Boko. You are right, of course. Please haul your umbrage back onto the Boodle.

My daughter dear
Do not be concerned
When your Canadian Daddy
Comes near
My daughter dear
Do not be concerned
When your Canadian Daddy
Comes near
I work so hard
Don't you unserstand
Making maple syrup
For the pancakes of our land

Well, it seems that in the couple of weeks that I've been away that the Boodle continues its fun and games.

How fun to come back to a ST:The Boodle storyline.

The Cipaille sounds amazing. I'll have to try it or something similar soon.

I seem to recall trying those space-food sticks when they were first out, in the 60's. Not very memorable. I think they were basically like Tootsie Rolls, without the density.

bc, I only counted 9 obscure references in your 3:55. Two of them must have been even too obscure for me.

That was me999
Sorry

"The most advanced U.S. surveillance satellites can reportedly pick out a six-inch object from 150 miles above."
.
.
That's why I've got the tinfoil helmet. Right here. Next to my dart gun. You'll get them from me only after you pry them from my cold, dead fingers.

Freezing rain in the Ottawa area. You can skate on my deck if you're so inclined.

"The most advanced U.S. surveillance satellites can reportedly pick out a six-inch object from 150 miles above."

----
SPACE FOOD STICKS are (were) about 6 inches long, and yes, a bit like doughy tootsie rolls.

STILL, real astronauts ate them. So did we.

What food spin-offs will the Mars trip yield? The Mars Bar company may be secretly thrilled.

So, too the mallow Moon Pie people.

This whole moon thing makes me nervous. Not that it's a bad idea per se, just that I suspect the will to DO something real there will be replaced by the equivalent of a trillion-dollar photo-op.

Obviously, no one knows quite what to do there except for me, Jumper. First we send the robots: smart; remote-controlled usually; they will do things like build oxygen tanks, make aluminum I-beams and aluminum plate, mine H2O, extract oxygen from lunar soil, make solar photovoltaic materials from lunar soil, build greenhouses, and grow some corn and beans, and then freeze-dry it. Other stuff. Such as homemade rocket fuel.

Then, we send the live humans. To fix the stuff that's broken down by this point. And to build the Lunar Hilton, which will charge a lot. Which will pay for a launch facility, to send air, water, and building materials to all corners of the solar system. Cheaper than we can do it from here.

"The most advanced U.S. surveillance satellites can reportedly pick out a six-inch object from 150 miles above."

I take it this wasn't used for the nude rooftop sunbathers as seen from space link the other day?

Jumper- Could we call the robots we send to Luna Moon Units?

Jumper- Could we call the robots we send to Luna Moon Units?

MOON FEVER

Yes, the moon, again. But only if we stay there on a permanent basis, you know moon bases etc.

I remember being emptionally crushed as a kid when they ended the Moon launches. (So who wants to orbit the earth and come down again?)

Oh and lets make certain a few private corporations are allowed up there to mine, develop technology, etc. That way there be an incentive for people other than scientific minded bureaucrats to travel to the moon.

Who knows, they might even invent a way cheaper than the gigantic Saturn V rockets to get there.

Pah on Nixon and Ford for putting on hold the Moon program. Just think where we would be now if they had gone ahead 25 years ago.

And people wonder why I am so cynical about the government.

Catharsis is a good thing.

guess its time to jump into the pond. I'll be in the DC area next week. Could someone give me an idea of what the weather will be?

Low 50s in the day, 30s at night, SC. Some burbs drop a lot lower though.

The only relation to the topic this link has is a full moon, my sister sent me this - a fun version of White Christmas, just made me happy so I thought I would post.

http://badaboo.free.fr/merryxmas.swf

Don, thanks for you day long story, I was by myself in the office today and could giggle away as much as I wanted - really enjoyed it.

sc lurker... coming to the BPH next Tuesday night?

Trillion-dollar photo-op? Why can't they just use the old moon-landing sets from back in the day?

Don, your parody was all that kept me sane today. The boss was around and I could not laugh outside my head, but inside, I am sick with laughing I tell you.

If time permits, I think it would be fun. My conference runs until