reporting from bottom of last kit, in response to dmd's plea for ark plans:

Grab a pencil, dmd; this isn't going to be a cake walk. Ark plans: Length: 300 cubits (450 feet); width 50 cubits (75 feet), 30 cubits high (45 feet, divided into three stories or "decks" as they are known in nautical circles). Deck area approximately equivalent to 20 basketball courts.

(If you think metric is problematic, you oughta try and work in cubits.)

I think your biggest problem is going to be finding gopher wood, which is what Noah used. The first problem is, no one knows what the hell "gopher wood" is. It is only mentioned in the Bible that one time. Scholars have long debated what it is, but there is no consensus or anything even close to one. Some say cypress, some say pine, but it's all just guesswork.

That being so, I think I'd recommend going to Plan B, which would be arc-welded steel (arc-welded! Get it? Ha ha ha ha. OK, a little naval architect humor.) If you are going to stick with wood ("stick with wood"...get it? Oh, never mind), I'd recommend white oak, generally considered the strongest wood for general ship construction, and which most of the great wooden ships of the past 500 years were built. Of course, now, it, too, is hard to find.

Pine is out of the question: too weak, rots too easily. Of course, it is easy to work, and after all, you probably aren't planning on any long-term cruising, so perhaps pine's longevity issues aren't a problem. If you do go with pine, stay with loblolly; nice long planks and not too many knots (OK for a boat not going anywhere! Ha ha! Another nautical pun!) But seriously, folks, knotty pine isn't good for shipbuilding; the knots fall out, water comes pouring in. It's just one hassle after another.

The next thing you have to think about is the propulsion system. Noah didn't have one, since he had no particular desire to go anywhere; he just wanted to float for a while. So he saved a lot of money and valuable shipboard space by not having an engine. Of course, engines didn't even exist back then, so he'd had been up S---t's Creek if he had wanted one. Oars were also pretty much out of the question, there being only a tiny handful of humans on board, and rowing 450 feet of elephants and rhinoceroses and behemoths around ain't no day at the beach, so to speak.

You, on the other hand, do indeed have the option of engine power. If cost were no object, and you were thinking long-term, I'd say go nuclear. A nice, small, submarine-sized reactor plant and electric turbine system should push that baby along at, oh, half a knot or so, and you can pick one up at West Marine for $15 or $20 million (not counting fuel rods, which have to be special-ordered. Talk to Scottynuke about that). The nice thing about nuclear is that it'll give you plenty of auxiliary power for lighting, etc.; you could even have a neon-spangled casino on board. The big problem is going to be shielding: oak planks don't shield radioactivity very well, and I think you'd have to plan for some losses amongst your crew and any animals aboard (something above 90%, I should think).

If you don't want to go nuclear, you could hang some outboards on the stern: a couple of 8-horsepower, 4-cycle Hondas would be nice, and won't pollute like those 2-cycle outboards. And since you aren't going anywhere anyway, a pair of 8-HPs should be fine.

Of course, I myself am a "ragbagger" (lover of sails and sailboats as opposed to engines and powerboats) at heart, and there is much to recommend wind power. It's ecologically clean, doesn't pollute (well, except for a tendency to fray quite a lot), easy to patch, and they come in a range of decorator colors including seamist, periwinkle, fuscia, scurvy (a pale kind of eggshell color, actually), and teal. On the down side, there are the issues of mold, mildew, violent storms, and an extensive learning curve, during which you'll need to master such terminology as futtock shroud, avast, belay, swabbies, dolphin striker (no, relax, Wilbrod, no cetaceans are actually harmed by dolphin strikers; it's just a damned stick thingee under the jib boom), catheads (also harmless to felines; jeez, you guys are so supersensitive to this stuff), capstans, and of course, poop deck, which is NOT what you may think. (The nautical mind just absolutely boggles thinking about how big a poop deck would have to be on an ark filled with every species of animal, if indeed the poop deck was, well,...what you think.)

This does raise the question of accommodations. Frankly, if it were me, dmd, I'd have to seriously re-think this whole issue of having two of every species on board. I wasn't crazy about it last time, and in fact told the Skipper (Noah, to you) I had a bad feeling about it, especially mosquitoes, flies, vampire bats, Siamese cats, garden slugs, pretty much everything in the snake-and-serpent family (I'm just not a snake kinda guy), poisonous spiders, conservative Republicans, etc., etc. First, I'd have many more people than last time, especially perky cheerleaders with tight little...OK, let's just say perky cheerleaders. Next, gourmet cooks. And elephant wranglers. Last time we didn't have nearly enough elephant wranglers, and there were a couple of times during afternoon exercise period when the elephants all decided to go to the starboard rail that I broke out into a cold sweat.

So what I think is, we need to go through the list of animals and "cherry-pick" the good ones and nix the questionables, know what I mean? But hey, that's your call.

And as far as human accommodations go, first you've got to give me some numbers so I can figure out berthing, how many handicapped bathrooms, how big the shopping arcade should be, whether you want that "Here comes Johnny now" rock-climbing wall, a miniature golf course, and other amenities. I'm not a mindreader, here, ya know. If it were me, I'd deep-six the rock-climbing wall, and Johnny, too. But once again, you're the boss. And as we used to say during the Great Irish Potato Famine, "I'm just following horders."

BTW, I charge $25/hour for regular design services, and $35 for change orders, punch list, etc. You being a loyal boodler, I can cut you some slack, though.

If you want to proceed, just let me know: I'll have my law firm, Ivansmom, Ivansmom, Ivansmom, SonofCarl, Scionce, Kurtz, Cochran, and Ivansmom, LLC, send you a contract.

P.S. Did you want an anchor and docklines, or did you just want to drift and ground out wherever? You could save a few bucks.

Weasel words that give away DRGI's need for an editor in that attic: "More importantly..."

Before I read your kit Joel, I just want to thank Mudge, for giving this waterlogged Canuck something to smile about all day. Talk about going the extra mile - THANK YOU, THANK YOU THANK YOU.

My wife just emailed from across the building asking me to "weasle" a salad for her from the cafeteria...SCC's abound in our household.

I'm amazed "hand-held Love Barometer" made it past the Wirty Dird Filter, even with JA's special dispensations and all...

'Mudge, you might be surprised how little shielding a nautical plant needs. I mean c'mon, how far would you go in a lead-lined sub, anyway?

:-)

All the way to the bottom, S'nuke.
All the way.

And if it's yellow, all the way to the top of the charts, too.

All the guys who saw the sentence "Any day now we'll see the arrival in stores of the hand-held Love Barometer" and immediately looked down, raise your hands.

Thought so.

I am standing by my prediction that in 2008 the conservative and liberal candidates will be Hillary Clinton and John McCain respectively. Although Guilliani has an outside chance as the treehugger choice.

Mudge: Isn't "Gopher Wood" the rodent equivalent of a "hand-held Love Barometer"?

Mudge: "Isn't Gopher Wood" the rodent equivalent of a "hand-held Love Barometer"?

I did note the Global Power Barometer in the Boodle a couple of days ago as an obvious ploy to steal readership from the USA Today.

Until I get that methane-powered starship bulit in my garage, I think that dmd's Ark of Convenience would make a dandy vessel to host the Joel Achenbach Celebrity cruises.

"Our Eco-friendly buffet line never closes."

"Meet and greet with Joel Achenbach during our Boodle Pooping Hour, held on the Weingarten Deck. (hand washing with bleach and wire brushes required)"

"On our MyStage Infotainment Deck see the latest off-Broadway Production of 'Snakes on an Ark', written by Boodler Curmudgeon, and featuring Samuel L. Jackson in the lead role. This musical features REAL $%@#*+>?!ing SNAKES."

bc

I predict a dark horse.

And frankly, guys, that KIND of handheld barometer has far too many false readings to be reliable as a measure of love. Which y'all already knew, anyway.

Interesting porposition, JA. Obama/Vlisak might make it. I was struck by how reasonable Obama sounded recently when answering questions on the various talk shows. His oratory style is something of a cross between the Clintonesque and Kennedyesque. I like Hillary, but I fear if she is nominated, the loss could be of nearly historic proportion. The votes would come out of the woodwork. In the southern vernacular, that dog won't hunt.

porposition????SCC!!!AAAUUGGGHHH

AUUGH is right. Booylin is going to find a double innuendo in that, and it's not "Achenblog After Hours" yet.

I'm telling you, the mind behind the Global Power Barometer sits down a few cubicles from me. He lives off of Twinkies and diet Dr. Pepper. His entire wardrobe is composed of free polo shirts with vendor logos that he has obtained from various conferences. He has pictures of his pet dachshunds all over the walls.

He is a cognitive cyclonic vacuum who sucks in raw information and filters out the good stuff. Want to know the implications of the Norwegian elections on the value of the Euro? He's your guy. (Just don't get him started on Japanese Anime, unless you are prepared to lose many irreplaceable hours from your life.)

The irony is that none of this has anything to do with his job. He does IT support. Omniscience is just a hobby.

I hope he applies that sorta omniscience to his stock portfolio, given his interest in economics, RD.

RD, ask him to predict the winner of the Liberal Convention up here, play your cards right and we could win some money with bets. :-)

Mudge as much as I appreciate all the advice I think I found a simpler plan it I wait a few hours the sitting ground water may float my house, a few nudges should give the house over the pool. I will place some pontoons in the pool now prior to this. Then all I have to do is strap the pontoons to the house, temporary house boat ready, and if the water freezes, a giant sled.

Best advantage the bar is already set up!

Wilbrod's right. I have a filthy, filthy, filthy mind. For the sake of the children, let's just say that "porposition" is something Flipper's mom doesn't need to read about online.

Wilbrod, I was once told that too many false positives on the love barometer make hair grow on your palm.

byoolin, I'm not touching a couple of your lines. Though don't think I don't have anything. Or you, bc. {I am being OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO so good here. And it ain't easy. I'm sure poor Joel is just kicking himself for giving us such easy pickin's.)

It's Friday, go crazy.

Filter is set on Stun.

I have to agree with Andrew Sullivan on Hillary Clinton. Hillary: Please. Don't.

Same goes for John Kerry. Mr. Kerry, the only reason anyone voted for you is your were not Mr. Bush. He's not running next time. Go away, and do so quietly. Please.

Mudge,
There are plenty of nuclear power plants available for the Ark. They are conveniently packaged inside the middle section of a Russian nuclear submarine. I think the US provided a couple of hundred millions toward that packaging project.

http://www.armscontrol.ru/subs/disposal/proe1210.htm

Of course some Russian nukes had spots of bother with leaky containment and other minor issues but they should hold together pretty good for 40 days and 40 nights. Evolution will just proceed a little faster onboard the ship.

Joel I went and looked at the Global Barometer (or a small selected group of the globe), and then looked at whats next, their view of current issues.

Apparently "Global Think" is a boy is the attic as he has feelings and emotions, this comment concerning the upcoming energy wars.

>>Global Thought is amused at the view the US can drill their way out of this crisis<<

I'm wondering what aisle the hand-held love barometer would be in. Probably somewhere near the beer and wine.

I love that list of weasel words. I am shocked by how many of them show up in political speeches (Some folks say we should turn our back on the people of Iraq...). Of course, I have come to expect this in politics, what alarms me is when this kind of language shows up in the writings of my own child. (Perhaps it is all that hate-filled rap music.)

In a single paper I had to excise three different examples of the phrase "many people feel." When I asked my son why he was using these weasel words, he informed me that his teacher forbade them to use "I" in a sentence. Evidently, his teacher feels that stating one's personal opinion too clearly is considered bad form.

Rumor has it that many people might feel this kind of teaching is not a good thing.

The divine wisdom of the ages tells me that many people might not be alone in this emotion.
One might have a little talk to the educational unit personnel about the strength of good writing.

Or better yet, suggest a "career day" where a perky curmudgeon might describe in detail the fate of bad writers and the teachers who teach them bad habits. Hire an interpreter and I'll bring the popcorn to watch.

Local scholarly opinion claimed that Gopher Wood was in fact the wood of Torreya taxifolia, a yew-like conifer native to bluffs of the Apalachicola River west of Tallahassee. Unfortunately, this now-rare tree (decimated by Noah?) is affected by a mysterious die-back, so to see a healthy one you have to visit places like the Vanderbilt estate at Asheville or the Washington Park Arboretum in Seattle. That is, if neighborhood residents aren't felling the trees to build their own ark.

Yoki, I forgot... may I repost your bite inhibition post (credited) on my blog, and also send to somebody I know who may really need the information in case the "natural" method doesn't work.

WaPo headline: "U.S. May End Sunni Outreach." And of course, the wonderful deck: "Administration may abandon reconciliation efforts with Sunni insurgents..."

Speaking of hilarious weasel words, we have an "outreach" program, do we? I would never have thought to describe rendering, waterboarding, Abu Graib, Gitmo, etc. as "outreach." Maybe it's just me, but I tend to think of "outreach" as, ya know, maybe sending some poorer Sunnis to Outward Bound or something.

I have found that unless a teacher is doing something flagrantly inappropriate, or is singling out my child in some way, complaints are frequently counter-productive.

Ever thought somebody deserved the black death, ebola, mad cow disease, or typhoid fever?

How about giving it to them for Christmas? ;).
http://www.giantmicrobes.com/us/products/blackdeath.html

This has a line of stuffed plushies with eyes that are shaped like viruses, bacteria, etc, with some new additions. Those plushies are also very irresistable to certain dogs, so use caution, since they're not road-tested for recipients with teeth.

RDP, some teachers also have been rumored in some circles to have indicated a preference, in the form of superior evaluatory outcome, to science reports which will have been written in that voice that many refer to as "passive."

Perhaps some parent of a child who is enrolled within the school at which your son is in attendance could be persuaded to assume the role of being the one who will have drafted a letter for delivery to the teacher who is responsible for the class in which your son is taught, suggesting that such a policy may be construed by some persons (some parents) as being unwise and counter-productive to the task of inculcating an ability to express an expository or persuasive argument in a clear fashion.

--------------------------------------------

I can see, a little bit, the teacher's point. In these modern times, shouting matches pass for debate on TV and politicians debate each other by spewing unrelated talking points toward an arena without grappling with an opponent's views. Argument by authority is the rule, perhaps exceptionally so. Students already tend to phrase arguments in the form of declaring "I think that...". Perhaps you can think of this peculiar restriction from the teacher as a writing exercise, similar to Joel's declaration that he would excise the verb "to be" from his speech and writing (and how long did that last?). I think that a more productive exercise, that you might suggest to the teacher, would be to combine every writing assignment with a tailor-made restriction that forces students to think creatively -- take away the most common clichés, deny the most obvious turn of phrase (example: "State your opinion on the best flavor of soda pop, without employing a phrase of the form 'I believe', 'I think', 'I prefer', etc"). However, that would be work.

Nah, just drill your son and then have your son annoy the teacher with perfect flawless bureacratese.

"This student wishes to indicate the teacher is in violation of the guidelines against using the first person singular."

May get point across eventually ;).

Heck, have him replace "I" with (First Person Singular) in his writing. Gotta write to get the grade.

RD, I once had a teacher tell me there was not enough "me" in an essay, in my next essay I included a picture of myself at the end, just to be sure I had included the required personal input. Fortunately he had a great sense of humour and enjoyed it.

Yes, targeted writing exercises (tantamount to playing chess without significant pieces) can yield excellent creative outcomes.

I also wish to mention that this post and my last post entirely lacked a certain pesky verb.

Someday, Joel will write
That grand old kit full of science wit
as haiku, alright?

SCC: One syllable too many originally.

Someday Joel will write
That old kit full of science S**
as haiku, all right?

Ugh.. don't get me going about teachers. This is the assignment my daughter had to do the other day for her middle school PE class. Do the words "busy work" mean anything to you?

Create a collage that best describes you.
What activities in your life help contribute to your healthy lifestyle?
Please do not include activities where you are a spectator.
If you are not very active, create a collage of activities you might like to participate in the future.
¸ You must have at least ten pictures.
¸ Use poster paper (1/2 sheet).
¸ Creatively put your name in the middle of the poster paper and decorate with activity pictures.

SCC: still one syllable too many

Invite Joel to write
Some haiku kit full of it
(Tight science, not s**)

How's this for weaseling?

A local car dealer's website actually says "Call us at .... for our Internet Specials"

That sounds more like Phone Specials to me.

Visualizing oneself as an active athelete is not busywork.

My collage would be:

Running from bulls in Pampalona
Skydiving
Bungee jumping
tightrope walking
being shot out of a cannon
extreme sports
martial arts (one guy being beat up anyway)
gladiators
schutzhund (being bite target)
Bowling

"You seem like a daredevil."
"No I'm just suicidal."

Ahh yes TBG, the important curiculum in cutting and pasting. Imagine if they used that time to actually have an activity in PE class!

... "How is bowling suicidal"

"I want to die everytime I drop the ball on my foot. Duh."

You may be right SciTim about the teacher's motivations. And part of my reluctance to confront him is sympathy. Teaching kids to write must be exhausting.

TBG, sounds a lot like the busy work my daughter gets, too.

But I like the idea that making a collage is some sort of physical education. (Fine Motor Skills, maybe?)

Maybe the time would be better spent having the class perfect their hand-held love barometers.

Oh, IN CLASS??? UGH.

They should have played charades instead. "Guess what active animal I am."

Indignation!! Gnashing of Teeth!!!

DOWNRIGHT UMBRAGE!!!!

1 x 10 to the 9th AchenPoints for the first correct answer in what's glaringly missing from this article:

http://www.cnn.com/2006/TRAVEL/DESTINATIONS/12/01/ski.maine.vermont.ap/index.html

:-)

Indignation:

Mais, ou est le Quèbec, mon esti?

New Hampshire? Science? Objectivity? Canada?

What is "Expert terrain?"

"Yeah I'm pretty expert, I've been plains, sea, mountains, a drumlin or two, seen a few ice ages, and now I'm at your service as a ski slope. Enjoy slipping down me on two planks of bent woods with only two poles between you and certain death."

But the assignment wasn't classwork, it was homework! Homework! Cut and paste the activities you would do if you actually did activities.

Not "go outside and do some activities." No... "stay inside, finish your English, History, Math and Science homework and then cut and paste your PE homework. Get to bed at midnight."

Ugh. I hate homework. If you want to save the American Family, then abolish homework.

I want to start a group called FEH.. Families Eschewing Homework.

How do you feel about school? "Feh."

Well Scotty I guessing you wanted the article to include New Hampshire?

OMG TBG,

Our kids have the same English teacher. One night I had to go out and buy colored pencils so my son, a junior in GT English, could finish the "creative" part of the asignment which was 50% of the grade. He had this same teacher his freshman year, so at least we knew what to expect.

In her defense, she is a Cornell grad and very cute and perky.

Whew! Sorry I'm late. *Brushes snow from shoulders* It's snowing up here in FlyOverNation. Just a couple inches of light, fluffy stuff. We'll look back upon this time with nostalgia while shoveling the heavy white @#$@$ that falls in March.
.
Curmudgeon, your ark proposal was pure genius. Thank you.

Thanks to the Boodle, I've now combined in my mind:

Physical activities
under a bride
hand-held love barometer

Must be a Friday.

I agree TBG. I have never understood why proper glue-stick technique is considered such a vital skill.

*splitting the AchenPoints between Wilbrod and dmd*

:-)

TBG, you have hit on a nerve at our house, I will join in your Families Eschewing Homework gladly.

And if I may could we add, lets get our children active. Here is not to bad they have daily activity plus gym. My problem is with recess and lunch, there are so many rules. They cannot play on the grass if it is wet - lest they get hurt, or play with large ball (basketball etc) for the same reason. The kids bored with simply standing around outside decided to have a hacky sack game, played with a soft cloth ball filled with plastic beans, the idea is to use the back of your ankle to pass the ball around. They were caught an the provided of the hacky sack ball was given detention. Actually I think the detention occured after the ball was taken away and someone decided to substitute a small stick.

My daughter is 11 and even she understand the class are hyper on days where they are limited in what they can do at recess.

Sorry rant over.

Québec is not a US state, yet. This is scheduled for Phase II of the Grand Plan.

I spent the second night of my honeymoon at a ski resort in Mont Orford, Quebec. It was September, so there wasn't much snow on the slopes, but that wasn't what we were there for. It was conveniently situated halfway between Stowe and Quebec City. The lodge décor could be best described as Late Bedrock. All the furniture was made from large rough hewn logs and the drapes were a rusty orange.

Our sidetrip to the Ben and Jerry's factory is a tale for another day.

Multiple SCC and the provider not, an the provided. And of course my daugher Understands.

Long-time member of FEH (even when I was a high-school teacher).

Perhaps Québec will not secede from Canada, so much as be forcibly expelled. Canada will seed U.S. schools and libraries with maps showing Québec as the forgotten 14th state of the original Union (National Geopgraphic will be richly bribed into complicity), replace library encyclopedias with updated forgeries purporting to show that Québec has been a part of the union since 1897 (entry delayed due to Francophone cussedness), and otheriwse fabricate the impression that we just haven't been paying attention to Maine's northern neighbor. After all, can you prove that Québec is NOT part of the U.S.?

I never eschewed homework, I just never did it that much.

Speaking of newspapers:
Shrieking Denizen, a while back IIRC you mentioned the 'Petaluma Argus Courier'. Do you a Petaluma connection?
I lived and worked there twenty years before retiring.

Mont Orford isn't exactly world class skiing anyway. More of a bump than a moutain.
Best skiing in Québec : Le Massif at Petite Rivière St-François, 30 minutes east of the well known Mont Ste-Anne. Mont Tremblant is overrun by Ontarians and *shudder* even Merkins.

Ice pellets are peppering the windows and the structure is making the cracking noises typical of high wind conditions that make this +25floors building sway around. I will be so out of here soon.

question for the boodle (since a lot of you guys have kids) - what's a good xmas pressie for a newborn girl (she'll be 1 1/2 months by xmas) - oh, and it's the second child so mom has all the preq toys/learning equipment/strollers, etc...

Petulama? huh?
That would be Curmudgeon bh.

Hey, TBG and dmd, don't knock cutting and pasting skills! That's how Joel, Loomis, bc, scotty, and I make our livings nowadays. If we hadn't learned to cut and paste in 3rd grade, why, we'd be... uh...

My collage would be:

Drinking wine from wineskins with Hemingway while watching people running from bulls in Pampalona

Not Skydiving. Maybe skywatching.

Not Bungee jumping. Not even watching bungee jumping. Maybe watching perky cheerleaders.

Not tightrope walking. Maybe watching "The Big Top" and "Circus Boy."

Not being shot out of a cannon. Being shot out of a hand-held love barometer.

Not extreme sports. Maybe Xtreme Boodling.

Not martial arts (one guy being beat up anyway). Maybe marital arts.

Not gladiators. Maybe gladiolas.

Not schutzhund (being bite target). Maybe weiner schnitzel.

Not bowling. Probably bawling, and on my boat, some baling.

Hey, wait a minute. Isn't "collage" a [censored] word?

Mo, something that makes a lot of noise.

That is, unless you LIKE the mother...

mo, greatest present our kids ever received where the large megablocks for kids. For the very young ones some of the blocks will rattle. The toys is ment I think for 6 months and up, but just because that is about the age they can grip them. We had this toy at our home, and at the grandparents homes and it provided years of entertainment.

Dooley,

My mother calls those toys Grandma's Revenge.

Québec makes a mess of conspiracy theorists' claims that the US, Canada, and Mexico are secretly being merged. One day, we'll wake up and find our country's been replaced by a Dallas-based bureaucracy. Doesn't Dallas already have a nice, plump local newspaper?

mo, clothes. Babies need clothes. Pajamas are best.
.
Curmudgeon: Stop it at once. I can't gaffaw at my desk. People are looking at me. Please only write things that will elicit giggles, chortles, chuckles, or mild snorts. No gaffaws, I beg of you.

NSTA's response to the free-copy of "An Inconvenient Truth" fiasco:

http://www.nsta.org/pressroom&news_story_ID=52977

Did I read that right they can't allow mass mailing unless you pay NSTA for their database?

Sorry, Cows. I won't do it again.

Mo: I don't suppose toddler beauty pagent clothing from the John Mark Karr collection would be appropriate? No, I didn't think so.

I can actually prove that Quebec is not part of the union. No one in America speaks cereal box French.

If someone in America speaks french or claims to speak french, they will be educated and maybe even fluent. In Canada everyone, and I do mean everyone knows what flacons de son corn is without knowing a lick of french.

dr, that is so true, and I have never thought about that before. I watched part of the convention last night and spent part of the time trying to decide if the simulaneous translator only spoke cereal box french or if the french being spoken by the speakers was so poor that he was dumb founded and was having difficulty translating. In the case of some of the speakers I am sure it was their French that caused the problem.

Ooh, I can watch the ice form on the deck and stairs. And there goes the satelite system. I love climbing an ice covered tower in a high wind to scrape off the dish. I can plan my moves with my secret weapon.
http://www.weatheroffice.ec.gc.ca/radar/index_e.html?id=XFT

dooley - she's family (my cousin) so yes, unless i want the wrath of an hispanic family one me... (besides, they already have a LOT of toys!)

mo, how about some great CD's or tapes, for the baby to listen to while she sleeps? That will also get you into the parents good books :-)

scc - on me...

'mudge - mudge - mudge... you are on a roll today!

dr isn't it flacon de son maise? flacon de son corn sounds more like cereal box bilingual.

Ah, weasel words, a lawyer's resort of choice. Actually when I worked for a certain federal agency on the Hill which shall remain nameless we were required to use weasel words in presenting our analysis. This was to give the appearance of impartiality and evenhandedness. Occasionally I would point out that there simply was no pro and con on a certain legal issue, it was all pro or all con. To no avail.

On the other hand, cultural differences are important. In traditional Navajo society it is impolite to take too much credit for things. If you're asked a question, you might preface the answer with "they say".

dmd - good idea but they have a suspicion the baby has hearing problems (she's failed several newborn hearing tests) - which is another reason not to consider noisy toys i spose...

hey, cow - clothes just gave me a great idea! i could start subverting my "gothiness" on her EARLY! black sex pistols baby t-shirt (or is that the handheld love meters?), baby combat boots... do you think a little baby spike collar would be too much? (hehehehe this could get FUN!)

She's a little young, but a Goth Barbie might fit the bill in a few years. My favorite gifts for toddlers are those pat-the-bunny style board books. You promote literacy and provide a teething ring.

Thank you, mo. Hey, is there such a thing as a Goth binkie?

SCC: That was to mo from me.

mo, you're on to something. A nice black leatherette jumper would be fetching. How about some mock tatoo's as well? "Mom" is a good one. "Born to Burp" is another.

Yellojkt, pacifiers are part of the rave-in scene (apparently ectasy makes for an need to chew or suck stuff-- lollies, pacifiers, etc). I don't think self-respecting Goths touch that stuff.

May I suggest a Goth Teddy bear?

Dear Boodlers,

I mentioned last week that I had a search tool that I use that can
quickly scan archived Kits and would put it out on the web so anybody could
use it. Like for searching for recipies, profiles on people treated by glaucoma, or Yogi's clicker training pamplets. Well it's now available. The
installation program contains October's and November's comments, but you
can download the rest of them back to early 2005 and import them if you
wish.

then you can see the first posts by Loomis, Mudge, tim, KB, MO, Wilbrod. Or the last post by Nami. If you are relatively new, what was the famous Poop Boodle? Who is this guy Lonemule? road storms? You can look at the whole history of the Kit & Boodle, as told by a single or group of participants. Whales, evolution anybody, its all here.

I was torn between calling the program AchenShaft (Data mining), or
BoodlePop which sounds childish. I chose BoodlePop for its levity.

This is the link where you can download the program:

http://mysite.verizon.net/vze35fvj/BoodlePop.htm

A nod to Dooley for haiku brilliance.

mo, you can't go wrong with cute outfits. Or a Frazetta figurine.

TBG, count me in FEH as well. One grade 12 science teacher (Chemistry) had to give the same homework three times. The brain of the family Mrs. Denizen (Ph.D in material Science) and myself (trained engineer) couldn't make sense of the first version. The second one was vague and contained contradictory statements. We understood with the third try how daft was the assignment. And this kid don't need make-work assignments; she is already overloaded with study time, special projects and volunteer work necessary for the "baccalauréat international". FEH indeed.

mo, if they don't have one yet a set of nesting pails in bright colors is a must. One may have holes in the bottom to make rain in the bathtubs.

mo, my girls had a few books by Tom Arma, they are a series of babies dressed in costumes. We have one where the babies are dressed in animal costumes (including a bat). We also had a christmas one.

Pictures are great and young ones (even very young) relate to the pictures. Noticed they are available at amazon.

>Running from bulls in Pampalona

I can't resist mentioning the Caddyshack version, mostly because they cut it out now when broadcasting which ruins the whole joke:

"Going to the bullfights... on acid"

Richard Scarry (a bit young, but put it on your list for 1-2 years from now).

My kid had a set of numbered nesting cups. I told my dad they were volumetrically proportional, e.g. a 2 and a 3 would fill a 5. He didn't believe me and spent an afternoon at the kitchen sink proving it to his satisfaction.

BTW, about Boodlepop, I found that you need to save any new files in the Boodlepop folder, and html just doesn't seem to work as I probably made the mistake of not saving html only.

So either save as .txt or .htm (html only) directly in the folder and it works fine. It's a nice program although I was dismayed to see how many posts I have been making.

Mo, for something a little different, look at uglydolls (search it on the web) -- cute little cuddly seriously weird stuffed animals, stuffed monsters really, with heartwarming stories. The baby will like to cuddle it and the grownups will be perhaps slightly disturbed - the perfect gift.

On-topic, let's all individually pick a candidate now, all parties, inform everyone that This is the Winning candidate, and refuse to participate in premature campaigning. Of course, the key is to be lying about your candidate. Say, everyone picks Hilary, but then nobody votes for her in the primaries. Or you could pick someone like Wes Clark, or Bill Frist, who specifically says he's not running. In fact, just start putting news stories out there about your candidate (Frist is the Man, he's Just Being Shy etc).

Or could everyone simply agree to boycott state caucuses and primaries, and have it decided at the conventions? Fisticuffs would be too much like the Mexican government today, so let's try Rock Paper Scissors.

a goth binkie! cool! you guys are coming up with some great ideas! a fetching leatherette jumper indeed - with the diaper snaps in the shape of skulls!

soc - you are trying to get me in trouble aren't you?

a goth binkie! cool! you guys are coming up with some great ideas! a fetching leatherette jumper indeed - with the diaper snaps in the shape of skulls!

soc - you are trying to get me in trouble aren't you?

One of the best toys my son had when he was very little was a set of large, 3-D alphabet letters. They were about 3 inches tall and half an inch thick, hollow soft plastic in different, bright colors.

He loved those things and played with them all the time. For the first few months he slobbered on them; they were just the right size and weight to hold in his teeny hands. As he got a little older, they were like little people to him.. he'd line them up and make them do things--you know, "walk" and "talk."

Consequently, he knew the entire alphabet by the time he was about two and a half.

The best part is that I bought them at a thrift shop (did I tell you that we were pretty poor when he was little?) for I think a quarter for the whole bag o' letters.

suggestions for mo:

1) fleece blankie
2) fleece outdoor-wear. The Lands' End stuff is very cute and cuddly and outrageously expensive compared to what any self-respecting parent would pay -- therefore, perfect for gift-giving.
3) You can't go wrong with storytelling by a skilled teller with mellifluous voice -- this guy, for instance: http://mywebpages.comcast.net/timtales/
I feel sure he has an email address on that site. Sure, the kid is too young to understand, but early exposure helps to promote understanding spoken language. It also provides some relief for parents while nursing.

I thought about a sled to be pulled through the snow. However, a baby has to be old enough to sit up reliably for that, which will not be until snow season is gone for this year. The sled will be good for next year, save that idea until then.

Two words, Ivansmom: Harold Stassen.

>BoodlePop

Thanks Pat!

Pat, great job--I can't wait to get home and try it out!

TBG, the multicolored magnetic alphabet letters were some of my favorite playthings as a very young child. To this day I experience individual letters of the alphabet as being in color. K is green. B is yellow. A is red. N is brown, and so on. I think I'll write a book called "Children Who Learn Too Much."

Sounds like synthesia to me, Green-Yellow.

The magnetic alphabet or alphabet blocks are a good idea, Bertooch, but I think instead of English the alphabet ought to be Klingon. And maybe Klingon in a Gothic font.

Other Gothic Baby Gift Ideas: medieval gargoyle chew toy; skull rattle; horned and chrome-studded bonnet; "For those about to poo..." t-shirt. I'll keep workin' on it.

mo...

This is all you need...

http://www.babygoth.com/

More family values coverage here (really!)

http://blog.washingtonpost.com/annapolis/2006/12/post_13.html

Wilbrod -- Yes.

Mo -- a GIC!

Pat -- what an amazing thing. I'm lost in admiration (I might need our resident cartographer to come find me and get me home again).

The toy #1 loved most at the age was that old standby Tupperware ball with variously shaped blocks to put through the corresponding hole. Though it freaked out everybody in the doctor's waiting room when at the age of 18 months she would imperiously demand, "Mummy! Hand me the plus sign! Now the trapazoid!"

You just had to go and NAME those blocks for her, didn't you, Yoki? ;).

I support doing the same thing with my dog. As a result, he has a surprisingly good vocabulary (and a little of the same imperious attitude).

mo - consider one of those lamps that project little moving moons and stars on the walls. My kids loved ours, and I found it, like, massively trippy.

Yoki - we had one of those puzzle balls too. They are nifty. Kept me entertained for days.

yoki - gic? goth in construction?

good suggestions all! (tho tbg won me over with that web site!) - and cowtown and mudge - you guys ever think of going into buziness with these ideas?

btw - she's a month and 1/2 (or will be by xmas) - that's 6 weeks to you parent types - i think letters are a little advanced, ESP klingon letters... i'm not trying to force my niece to become a prodigy, i just want to be her fav (tho weird) auntie...

Books, mo. No one is ever to young for books. Something that can be read, with rythym and rhyme is good, something that will help her parents learn to read to her no matter what else is happening in the world. Rythym, and vibration would be particularly important if she does have some hearing problems, because even at a young age she can feel the vibrations of their chest as they speak. Whatever it is, it should be something tactile for her.

Wilbrod, you have some resources?

Otherwise it should be something that will be important for them to know they are telling her even now when she is tiny, and sweet. I highly recommend Robert Munsch " I Love You Forever"

http://www.robertmunsch.com/books.cfm?bookid=40

Mo, guaranteed investment certificate (like a savings bond). In other words, money for when she is older. A babe that age has *no* idea about presents or occasions. But getting a little bit of money on your 16th birthday is deeply cool. Or it could be the beginning of the college fund.

Another good present is the complete works of Shakespeare in a fine binding. Or a case of fine wine that will be ready when she is.

Something, in any case, that has no immediate application but will be appreciated later.

Just to be weird, I thought I'd post something "on topic." Quaint, no? It regards the blog entry by Andrew Sullivan, who opines that Hillary Clinton should not run for President. That's an interesting comment from author of The Conservative Soul. Yes, Sullivan's a Republican. And he doesn't like Clinton. This is news.

mo, I had 1 1/2 years, not 1 1/2 months on my mind (though clothes are still a good choice).

For a (currently) 6 week old, this Whoozit thing can be found many places:

http://www.thebabymarketplace.com/securestore/c65449.2.html

You can also get some soft books with spaces for photo inserts for photos of family etc. Very good idea.

Change that attitude, mo. Letters are never too advanced. Besides, any gift for a 6-week-old is really a gift for the future anyway (or else it's for the parents).

But I really like the goth onesies.

I like Yoki's ideas too. You want something that when they're 21 they will be saying "that cool auntie mo got me that".

Mo, I guess a hand-held Goth love barometer is out of the question, too.

Joel... husband has spent a good part of the afternoon with the Weasel Words Wikipedia entry.

Some people say that's a good thing. But it could be argued that he should have been working. Apparently, he didn't have a lot of real work to do today.

Mudge, keeping the pale make up on is too difficult.

What does a Goth love barometer look like anyway? A mace? A cat-o-nine-tails? A police flashlight? The mind reels.

'mudge - i guess some would say that that is out of the question.

tbg - yeah, i'm kinda leaning towards the goth onesie...

thanks for all the suggestions! i knew i could count on you guys! i really like the investment/gift suggestion but i'm too poor for any significant contribution (and the kid has rich grandparents so...)

Stock in Chuck E. Cheese or other kiddie money-robbing enterprises. It may make the parents feel better about going broke at such places.

mo;

I sowwy, I wuz stuck in meetings all afternoon and everyone stole my ideas!!!

C'mon, you're just sitting on that "Goth nuclear-powered toy submarine", aren't you, S'nuke?

Trying on this quaint notion of "on-topic": Yeah, I find it amusing to see Andrew Sullivan claiming to advise Hillary Clinton. He is trying to expiate his guilt for early support of Bush, by claiming a temporary alliance with the Democrats, which "entitles" him to advise them on how to achieve a crossover coalition. Maybe.

It's remarkable, the effect of self-censorship. I had something funny I wanted to post, at the end of that paragraph; but, for complex technical reasons (read: potential financial self-interest) I decided that I only WANTED to post it, I didn't NEED to post it.

I'm becoming a fan of Barack Obama, but I remain troubled by his lack of seasoning. He's a first-term senator, with no prior national political experience. He hasn't been an executive (state governor). He seems to be everything I'd want in a President, except experienced. The Democrats have a lot of guys who would like to be Pres., and who have experience, but none of them seem to have the heft and depth to be President. Anyway, I prefer divided government. Since the Democrats presently hold Congress, I'd rather see a Republican President, one who can be soundly distanced from Bush and Bush's policies.

that's ok snuke! *hugs* i got something better you can come up with ideas for! *nudge, nudge, wink, wink*

(evil grin)

What is the Chuck E. Cheese of which you speak?

Your position is intriguing ST. But will the Republicans nominate someone "who can be soundly distanced from Bush and Bush's policies?" The best one could expect is Mr. McCain, and for him to be nominated, many Republicans will have to hold their noses. Of course, the same could be said for Ms. Clinton. My point is, I think Clinton may be the centrist candidate people are looking for, plus she has the experience and thick skin (can you imagine anyone else who has fielded such vitriolic barbs - OK, other than Bill) necessary to survive the grueling primary gauntlet.

*shock* you don't have Chuck E. Cheese in canada?

I don't think so. We have Cheddar, and Brie, and Stilton, and even Ossau Oraty, but no Chuck as far as I know.

If that rodent hasn't invaded Canada yet, be very glad. Basically it's a pizza parlor with like 40 arcade games (basketball games, skeeballs, drivers game) as well as ball pits and other fun for the wee ones. The eating establishment portion is frequently interrupted by robotic critters pretending to play music while loud music is blared. The TV sets have fakey Chuck E Cheese shows. There are fake newspaper headlines on the walls about how great this rodent is.

Both of my siblings who have taken their kids to Chuck E cheese for birthday parties are now slightly on the deaf side from all that screaming.

I've been told I'm very, very lucky to be stone deaf in there with all the kids screaming from sugar high and excitement.

I do like the skeeball, though.

To clarify, Chuck E. Cheese is a grey mouse with grey plush tail, a bowler hat, buck teeth, a vest, no pants (that's the OTHER famous rodent), and a disturbingly goofy grin.

Technically, it's called Chuck E. Cheese's (rhymes with Jesus--easy yet weird way to remember).

But I'm warning you... don't go there.

http://www.chuckecheeses.com/

Chuck E Cheese is an evil pizza empire based upon a stage show of oversized animated animals that sing, play instruments, and generally terrify kids under five years old. Older kids spend their inheritance on various arcade games after gourging on pizza and soft drinks. Parents used to be able to sit at booths near the kitchen and drink beer and smoke cigarettes, but a lot of stores prohibited this activity. In FlyOverNation, it's a welcome Winter respite, but it's still madness. Utter madness.

Wilbrod, you have just described the 5th circle of he11, and people actually voluntarily go there? Crikey.

i/ I /i didn't even like chuck e. cheese's as a kid... it was always too loud! like a whole amusement park on crack crammed into a small living room - kids running around screaming everywhere, little kids crying b/c they were scared of the rodent and the pizza sucked!

>Yes, Sullivan's a Republican

>Yeah, I find it amusing to see Andrew Sullivan claiming to advise Hillary Clinton.

I think Andrew Sullivan has rehabilitated himself quite a bit re. his early support of the invasion, and true to the notion of "Conservative Soul" has realized the current administration is not conservative in the least. I mean, credit where it's due and all.

And his analysis of Hillary's chances are pretty much exactly what I'd say too, so while it may seem tainted from a partisan, I don't think it's wrong.

I have nothing against Hillary specifically, but you don't have to be Republican to not like her for the office. To start with, we have that little "first woman President" hurdle to get over. If that's going to happen you certainly want the candidate with the least negative rating possible to start with, and that's not Hillary.

Hmmm, maybe I can use Pat's BoodlePop to find my old policy positions... I mean let's face it, an awful lot of people voted for "Error" last time, in practice if not name. :-)

mo, my favorite gifts for wee ones are Margaret Wise Brown's books, Goodnight Moon and The Runaway Bunny. You can get them in board editions as well as normal paper books. The perfect go-to-bed books.

The gothbaby site is cool, though.

Well, learn something every day. Apparently there is one of these joints in Calgary! And several elsewhere in Canada as well. So glad my kids got past that stage before I knew anything about it.

and for some reason the parents were always so cranky when they left (or more like when they physically dragged their kids kicking and screaming from the building)

yoki - it's a frightening thing indeed - i've heard of parents having severe panic attacks at the mere suggestion of the place!

Yoki, you dodged the bullett. Now, if you're kids can somehow go through adolescence without noticing video games, you'll be very fortunate.

Too late for the video games; not only the kids, but Himself too, are fans. We've got a Wii system for #2 for Christmas; it might even seduce me, if there are enough sword-fighting games available.

I have only been to Chuck E. Cheese's for birthday parties for friends of my offspring. The attraction is that they take the responsibility for managing the timing of food and entertainment for the sprouts, and there is beer. For these benefits, you pay gourmet-pizza prices for a product that cannot compete against Domino's, Papa John's, Pizza Boli's, or boiled shoe-leather on any food-related standard of quality.

Another plus: there is a giant Habitrail for children. Adults of reasonable limberness can climb in, as well. Downside: occasional "accidents", deep in the labyrinth. Ewwwwwwww.

cowtown - there's always dave and busters... arcade for grown ups... we have one here in dc and i see from the map they have two in canada!
http://www.daveandbusters.com/?f=1
just make sure to take out a second mortgage so you have enough money to go...

No person over the age of 16 should EVER go into a Chuck E. Cheese while sober. Not EVER. I did, once. Never again.

error - don't even THINK that i'm staying on topic right now... i have one more hour and it's dead boring... then i have to dash home and pretty up to go PAR-TAY... *sigh* the last hour on fri is always such... torture!
and i'd vote for ya! can i be the entertainment coordinator on your campaign? (do they even HAVE entertainment coordinators or am i thinking of a cruise ship? 'mudge?)

mo - I've visited a Dave & Buster's in Southern California (in Orange County). Thank God it's not in my neck of the woods, or I'd be dead broke by now.

Looping back to the comments on homework and perhaps one, in science class, requiring third person voice AKA objective omniscient pose--

Anyhoooo: long comment short here.

Students sometimes need a highly structured assignment since so much of what they write nowadays (with parents and many teachers cheering to beat the band) amount to creative, first person drivel.

Teachers might ask for a voice, since the class as whole and coherts all around, don't understand a discourse community preference.

Sorry about that term, but here is the definition. Communities develop styles, voices, document types, to reflect what they do with the knowledge in their profession.

TYPICALLY, science stuff is written in the third person. (I'll tell when we break the convention in a moment). Since I teach technical writing in college, and some of my students don't know what third person is, we begin there.

Back to the high school assignment:
The better way to approach any assignment is to help students develop an audience analysis:
Audience
Context
Purpose

Part of this exercise would also ask questions like
*does my audience expect first or third person voice;
*what is my document (lab report, proposal, research article, literature review, etc.;
*what "special language" (terms, phrases, definitions, abbreviations...) does my reader know?

PART THAT DID NOT POST
So, how to end this mini-lesson on composition instruction? Breaking rules. We have to know the rules, the norms, the conventions BEFORE we know when ignoring or bending them creates a better written document FOR THE AUDIENCE.

I love thinking that a teacher somewhere asked for a composition thingie like third person to be used in a document. This means that a few students will know what third-person means when I talk about this term.

Now, having said this all, I have bitten my tongue a number of times as inane assignments. I HATE homework. FEH, is that our motto?

Off to watch ballerina daughters in an edited and earnest Nutcracker selections....

__________________
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Don't blog without it!
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cowtown - it's almost worse than vegas! you take what you THINK is enough money to play for a resonable amount of time - then it runs out and you are like, well, i'll just get another $20 from the atm machine (conveniently located in all four corners of the playroom) - 3 hours later and $.07 left in your bank account you get the shakes and start begging the manager to wash dishes in exchange for more playing time...

I agree with Error's 4:55 about Andrew Sullivan, who has shown (alone of ALL the Conserv punditry) some personal integrity, contrition, and --dare I say it? -- common sense. (I find it a bit funny and wildly ironic that the only commentator on that side of the aisle who doesn't have his head up his butt is an avowed gay guy, the class of person all the rest of those maroons profess to abhor. Somewhere the Flying Spaghetti Monster is laughing.)

Heading for the bus--everybody have a good weekend.

>can i be the entertainment coordinator on your campaign?

Sure mo, and we'll need plenty! Looks like BoodlePop is just in time to dig up Boodler Cabinet positions.

Again... I just play the skeeball there. I may drop 15 bucks until I skeeball into a coma (my arm starting to separate from the shoulder joint usually brings me to a stop).

Still cheaper than a couple of games at a bowling alley. I am working on a perfect 900 game (100's every time)-- but my skeeball quality is uneven, I've got 3 100's and then 10's the rest of the time.

IN this state of zen skeeball, screaming kids are as mist, the blaring music yields to the echos of forgotten mountains crumbling.... at least, until some annoying kid under 3 feet tries to crowd me when I skeeball and I have to stop myself from concussing the kid on the backswing.

Of course now I have a dog who is happy to use his mouth as a skeeball hole for food, so that saves me money now.

All right, I can see that there will never, never be a BPH at Chuck E. Cheese (at least not while sober).

I always feel sorry for myself at this time of the week. I have once again accomplished none of the things on my work to do list, my eyes are tired and won't focus on anything substantial, I am the only person here till 5:00...yadayadayada, oh and you all leave at 3 pm my time, rastafratch.

So I am fooling around on google earth. Does anyone else find google earth a liitle bit scarry? If the free google earth I see is this good, what are they not telling me? Should I always dress nicely when I am working in the yard? Should I always dress when I am out in the yard? You never know when you need to know the answers.

dr, a very cute snowball fight game to help you finish Friday:

http://www.gophergas.com/funstuff/snowballfight.htm

Google Earth is pretty cool, but my neighbors' 17' boat (which is living in my yard for some historical reason) is just a white blob.

>If the free google earth I see is this good, what are they not telling me?

Yeah, the mil. version could probably read our sneaker labels. All the more reason to go out undressed. Good for morale.

Yes! Get Naked For Google! My new slogan. Thanks, Error Flynn (you shall always have my vote), and everyone have a grand weekend!

Error, trust me, not good for their morale. However, if and I do say if I did, they'd never come back looking. They'd be chicken.

I tooled around Saskatoon which was neat. I easily found my mom and dads condo, and my sister's place. I could not find my other sisters. I can't find that on the ground, much less from the air. Everytime I try I get lost.

And in the cooler department, I can find the place where I lived when I was a little girl, right next to an unnamed lake, which was commonly called (insert paterfamilial name)Lake. I can see some of my dads grain bins.

*hiding under the table upon seeing mo's evil grin*

:-)

I COULD be tempted to suggest a BPH @ the D&B in Rockville/Bethesda... Maybe.

oh oh, power out, goodbye, goodbye

When my son was a baby he refused to take a bottle, or anything else, without the vacuum cleaner going. As a toddler we had to distract him with a cowbell before he would eat. (Even so he looked like a walking X-ray.) We used to drive quite some distance to go to a Chuck E Cheese's so that we could sneak a few bites of pizza into my son while he stared at the stage show.

One person's over-stimulation is another person's nutritional aid.

everything is covered in ice. There are no lights visible, no sounds except the coyotes.

Boko999, just today I was browsing for natural gas-powered generators... that's sounding like a good idea.

In other news, the winds here are high enough that one of porch windows just blew out. Never saw that before.

Hope everyone's ok. I guess this is the same storm that hit us - very nasty.

On Hillary - I hope she doesn't run. I think she'd be a good president, but she would get torn apart - and I'm ready for someone new. She's doing fine in the Senate. Obama may not have a lot of national political experience, but he's smart, thoughtful, reasonable - and he has a lot of life experience, which I think counts for a lot. Plus he was a community organizer and state legislator for a long time. And he's a good writer. I like John Edwards too.

Gotta go check out the goth baby stuff...

In case you haven't heard, The Far Side calendar is back:
http://www.amazon.com/Side-Gallery-2007-Page-Calendar/dp/0740759248

Hi!

I'm back from the geek fest in Roanoke. Got some GREAT resources. Lots of open source stuff.

Pat, Wilbrod, have you ever visited the oatsafe website? It is a repository of free and open source assistive technology software. I'm testing a reader and a screen magnifier right now. Very cool.

I wish we would get some snow. I could use a day off to grade the piles and piles of papers the kids left with my substitute. And, I still need to meet with my doctor and decide on a long-term solution for the ticker issue.

Have a wonderful weekend everyone. I'll catch up on reading the comments in the morning. That whole barometer thing must have sparked some funny stuff.

Never heard of oatsafe, and I can't find it... maybe you need to post the actual URL?

had a near miss with jury duty today. i mean very near, as in accepted onto a jury panel before lunch, but dismissed after lunch due to "complications" and postponement of trial. i'm so glad because i needed jury duty now like a hole in the head. no pun intended.

Hello, friends. Can't sleep, so decided to see what everyone is talking about.

The kids that come to the math and reading program have tons of homework. In fact, most of the time we can't finish it all because it is so much.

Turning chilly here, and the rain is gone. I went out a few minutes ago, and the sky was so starry, and the moon was in its place, just picture perfect.

I haven't slept well for the past couple of nights. Go to sleep early, but wake up too early.

Mudge, I loved the ark story. Your stories always make me laugh. Thanks so much.

As to the "n" word, and the generation after the Civil Rights struggle, when looked at on the whole, there are some things to be sad about. My thinking is that some of the stuff that is presented as everyday life for African-Americans is not really that, but just some hyped trash to sell whatever. The sad part is that some of us buy into that crap, and some of us become quite rich for selling the idea.

I do believe it answers a call where there is a vaccum. We need, or some think we need that show of power, but to my thinking that is not power. But what do I know. I believe it to be a distraction like so many other items in this country are distractions. To keep people, borrowing a line from a song, going around in circles.

I know we (African-Americans) can do anything we put our minds to, but we've always been told different. Perhaps some bought into that lie, I did not, and I am not alone in that thinking.

The g-girl and I will try to rest today, I don't know if we will get that opportunity. My sister-in-law says she will be here today, and I'm hoping against hope my daughter will too.

I am just tired and a little wore out. Have a good weekend folks. Give God some of your time, show your families how much you love them, and get some rest. God loves us so much more than we can imagine through Him that died for all, Jesus Christ.

Oh dmd, in reference to one of your afternoon posts, it's not "to bad," it's 'too bad.' Too. I've caught you a couple times now with that foo pah. FYI, I had an excellent 10th grade English teacher. Miss Hickman...may she rest in peace.

Somebody needs to stand up for the cause!

So what's everybody's favorite style guide? Strunk & White? Eats, Shoots and Leaves? Fowler? I always thought Fowler was a lot of fun, although some of his British rules aren't used over here.

I do think it sounds a lot better to say The LA Galaxy (soccer team) are playing rather than is playing, or the cabinet have announced, when the subject is a collection of people. LA Galaxy is a corporation and are a team; LA Dodgers is a corporation and are a team. IMHO Galaxy and Dodgers should be treated the same, even though it seems one is singular and the other plural. At least that's what sounds right to my ear.

Cassandra, that's exactly what I think (about being told different).

It's really keep to keep people from succeeding if they believe they can't in the first place-- you don't have to do much.

Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent" and I feel strongly that it's a message every child needs to hear.

And yes... for some reason ghetto violence packaged in music and story sells like hotcakes. Death and nothingness has become like candy.

LTL-CA: I noticed a Canadian boodler (forget which one) using that collective plural construction recently, and I found it charming. It's British, you know. My introduction to it (in my sheltered flyoverland childhood) was Monty Python's skit "Novel Writing" "The crowd are going wild!" I later had some spirited discussions on the subject with high school English teachers. If I'd been clever enough, I could have told them, "You shouldn't call yourself an English teacher! At most, you are an American teacher!"

So I looked it up and the sketch is actually a very confusing example

http://www.wepsite.de/novel%20writing.htm

because it starts with "a very good crowd has turned out" and later says "the crowd are loving it." So maybe I like the American way better after all if it is at least consistent.

What a night! (unfortunately, the hand-held barometer of love wasn't involved)

We had sustained 20-30mph winds (with gusts up to 60mph) that started in the late afternoon -- knocked out power and phones at my office (yippee!) -- and continued through most of the evening. Trees and power lines down everywhere. A few homes and businesses lost their roofs. Of course, I just had to take Stella out for a test spin in the middle of it all (I'd love to be one of those storm-chasers). Nothing like driving around in an under-powered vehicle with the aerodynamic properties of a cardboard box. At one point, I could have sworn I saw a witch madly peddling a bicycle outside my driver's window.

In any case, we lucked out on the snow and rain that was expected to accompany it (though we did have one angry looking sky).

Regarding Campaign 2008: Stewart/Colbert (but will settle for Edwards/Obama).

Regarding homework: As a student, I never took a book home and still ended up with above average grades. As a parent, anything that will keep a child relatively quiet for a couple of hours is fine with me -- especially if it involves books. That said, I do find the concept of assigning a cut-and-paste project about physical activities a bit counter-intuitive (moronic, actually).

Well... I'm off to assess the damage at Ms. Martooni's Mom's rental property. It has one of those giant 1950s aluminum awnings over the back porch that was already losing the battle with gravity. I have a feeling yesterday's winds might have done it in.

Power still out. Worst tobacco cravings yet. Scotch, beer running low. Fear glaucoma may reoccur. Gasp. Hack. Choke.

I have been able to stay in contact with the world by listening to my hand cranked radio. Thank you Joscelyn Elders.
If I could only crank my laptop.

The Republican base will NEVER nominate McCain for its 2008 presidential campaign. We do not trust him nor do we agree with many of positions. The polls may say that he can beat Hillary, but to do that, he first must win the nomination, and, judging from the polls, he simply will not be able to overcome the opposition from the Republican base. We'll take Rudy, Mitt, or several other options before we nominate McCain.

Oops, Poor design in BoodlePop, Load option misses .htm files, only looks at .txt and .html files.

Thanks Wilbrod, for pointing that out. Will fix and let you know when its available for download.

Don't ask how I know about this, but there is a website with the top 10 naked people visible on GoogleEarth.

http://googlesightseeing.com/2006/11/28/top-10-naked-people-on-google-earth/

You have to have a pretty good imagination to accept that they really are naked.

The new RD, is in, just in case you wanted to know Everything about the War of 1812ish but were afraid to ask.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/11/29/AR2006112901166.html

Somehow, I don't think this info is going to help me with the ladies. They seem to be more interested in my taking out the trash and scooping the litter box, but not much else.

bc

Want to know what we really want? Someone who knows that taking out the trash includes putting a new bag into the trashcan without being asked. Every. Single. Time.

Trust Joel to know the history and distill it to the truth in a few well-chosen words. What, no comment about the Battle of New Orleans, a smashing win for the Americans AFTER the war was officially over? There is much to be said for modern communications...and that the battle was fought at all is another example of the ineptitude of those who would lead.

Style manuals. I like Strunk and White for everyday. I often use The Chicago when addressing my deathless prose to the US market. I use the Globe and Mail for Canadian-targeted exposition, and the McGill Legal for law firms.

I have a 1937 edition of the Oxford Fowler, when Fowler was still in charge, and I love love love it. So funny and straightforward. It is not much use these days (though I still manage to sneak in some top 10s), and my copy is held together with spit, hope and duct tape. I think I shall leave it to #1 in my will, but in trust, so it can never leave the family.

I feel a feverish sexual fanasty coming on....
There. A drink in its face took care of that come-on.

Joel and Richard,
Feverish sexual fantasies include men who can spell "Dolly Madison" corectly. *w* If you're going to do the War of 1812, do it to the hilt (and petticoat)!

Boko999, sounds tough. Hang in there. Maybe RD can send you one of those black choppers.

SCC: correctly (frickin' eye)

http://www.dollymadison.com/

"Cakes and pastries fine enough to serve at the White House." That is how Roy Nafziger, IBC's founder, described his Dolly Madison® snack cakes at their introduction in 1937. Roy's fascination with the First Lady Dolley Madison lent him the name and inspiration to create a high quality snack fit for a socialite like Madison yet affordable for everyone.

What do I know? The snack cakes are "Dolly," while the First Lady was "Dolley." Whew! Glad I could clear that up!

http://www.whitehouse.gov/history/firstladies/dm4.html

She always called herself Dolley, and by that name the New Garden Monthly Meeting of the Society of Friends, in Piedmont, North Carolina, recorded her birth to John and Mary Coles Payne, settlers from Virginia. In 1769 John Payne took his family back to his home colony, and in 1783 he moved them to Philadelphia, city of the Quakers. Dolley grew up in the strict discipline of the Society, but nothing muted her happy personality and her warm heart.

Break out the thermometer!

chillin prophacies of being personal

exhibited smaaal cheers of peeple purple eaters...

ppontettates chisled aggressive pototatoes with breif wands of altitude.

what is the difference between an

oral thermometer

and a rectal thermometer?

the taste.

Morning all, Boko and Shrieking hope everything is OK in the Ottawa area. As usual we received dire warnings but nothing happened, lots of wind and water.

I was a my Christmas party last night and watched the Zamboni suck up all the excess water from the ice skating surface at Nathan Phillips square, not a fun job on a cold windy night.

Random I will try to self edit better.

Hope everyone else is safe and warm, this storm seems to be causing a lot of damage over a wide area.

Slow talkers have problems remembering prices:

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2006/06/060623001231.htm

Well that ain't no surprise, I talk so slow I have problems remembering what I was saying before I finish the syllable.

That's the top reason I don't lipread well, I'm mentally forming the words, you see. A...b/m/p...S/C...

I get at least 10 words behind and decelerating still more after the first sentence.

Writing Guides, most practical, some with whimsy in 'em.

I adore, stylewise, Joseph Williams and his book:

1)
_Style: Ten Lessons in Clarity and Grace_

Any of the last four editions will work, truly.

2)
For fun, see Myra Kalman's ILUSTRATED Strunk and White. Makes a geeky gift for the word maven in your world.

3a,3b)
Karen Elizabeth Gorden's two books use bizarre scenarios to teach grammar and style points:

_The Transitive Vampire_
_The New Well-Tempered Sentence_.

4)
For technical and science writing, _The Mayfield Handbook of Technical and Scientific Writing_ is much better than Chicago (better for book publishing, really).
5)
_Wired Style_ , however flawed, helps us all make sense of emerging standards in digital environments.

6)
In the technical professions, use IEEE as a one-stop sensible spot:
http://www.ieee.org/web/publications/pubtoolsandpolicyinfo/index.html

I need to check out the new CSE (Council of Science Editors), formerly the CBE (Council of Biology Editors). They've made major changes to the rules for citations, mainly so you can more or less prove that you actually found something online.

http://www.lib.unc.edu/instruct/citations/cse/

The British seem to have been bent on rape and pillage in the Washington area, not just trashing some symbolic buildings. At least the burndown provided opportunities for better-quality reconstruction by the brilliant architect Benjamin Latrobe. I think he could have made a good career in London.

Good thing the Brits didn't destroy New York. I wonder why they didn't annex Nantucket and Marthas Vineyard.

I like "Strunk and White" because it doesn't tolerate any backtalk. It reeks of authority. Unfortunately, some of its dictums are hard to fully implement. For example, if I were to truly "omit needless words," I would never write anything at all.

Very good Rough Draft. I suppose Joel will post it as a Kit, so will save my pithy remarks for then (yeah, right).

In case anyone reads George Will's column "Clueless in Seattle" about the Seattle public schools and desegregation, let me say a few things. The race-based rules are tortured; what he quotes from the school district website sounds awful; but there are reasons why Seattle is segragated by race, with the north end being mostly white and well-off, and the south end mostly minority (black and Asian) and poor. The Seattle Times did a very good series a few years ago about the covenant laws (that were in place till the 60's, I think) that forbid houses to be sold to blacks, resulting in overcrowding and concentrating of blacks and other minorities in the south end. So, schools in the south end have more poor, minority students. And the school district is attempting to deal with that - but it makes everyone mad.

I live in the south end. My son went to public schools. He didn't get into the middle school that was his first choice because of the race tie-breaker. But he went to a school that was closer to home, where he made friends that lasted till now, and then went on to high school with them. The high school had a terrible reputation for gangs and violence, but we never saw any problems in that regard, and it was small enough that we felt he would get more attention there. The teachers and opportunities were good (but gave way too much homework!). He was an indifferent student, but he did ok. I am glad he's out of the school system, though, and am d