Celebritology

Two of this year's nominees in Oscar's best original song category: T. Bone Burnett (left) and Ryan Bingham, already Golden Globe winner for "The Weary Kind" from "Crazy Heart." (AP)

Here's a challenge for your Tuesday: look at the list of this year's Academy Award nominees for best original song. Now try to hum one of them.

Can't do it, can you?

Don't worry, you're not alone. Most avid filmgoers and award-season scorekeepers couldn't sing "Loin de Paname" from "Paris 36" if their very "vies" depended on it. In what has become an annual phenomenon, we're once again looking at a slate of Oscar-nominated songs that, while recognizing some fine work, pays tribute to music that most people with a working radio or iPod have never heard.

Clark Collis wrote a nice, long story on this very subject in Entertainment Weekly's current Oscar issue, which, for reasons that defy Internet logic, I was unable to track down on the Web. But EW's Oscar guru, Dave Karger, wrote a blog post that touches on many of the same themes addressed in Collis's piece and cites the '80s as a time when pop music and Oscar enjoyed a much more symbiotic relationship.

Consider the songs that won the Academy Award for best original song between the years of, say, 1971 and 1990. With a couple of exceptions -- most notably, 1979's "It Goes Like It Goes" from the movie "Norma Rae," which had no business beating Kermit the Frog's well-known ditty about rainbows, and 1988's "Let the River Run" from "Working Girl" -- every single one of these tunes reached the masses.

Theme from "Shaft," winner in '71? You know it and love it.

"Last Dance" by Donna Summer, the disco victor in '78? You'd dance to that right now if I fired it up.

"Flashdance ... What a Feeling," Oscar's triumphant 1983 tune? In a flash, it still takes over your soul.

"Say You, Say Me" by Lionel Richie, which won in 1985?

Okay, so I didn't say they were all good. The point is you could probably name all of these tunes in fewer than five notes. And whether these pop songs were of the highest quality or not, at the very least they certainly seem emblematic of their era.

Flash forward to the '00s and that same statement only applies to one of the decade's winners -- "Lose Yourself" by Eminem.

So why has this happened? Is it because the music industry is so fractured that universally known pop music no longer exists? (I'd say no.) Have the original songs created for movie soundtracks gotten notably less catchy? (Not necessarily, although Collis's article -- which, again, I *so* wish I could link to -- points out that soundtracks no longer sell the way they once did and studios now invest less time and money in movie music.)

I think the truth is that the Academy's approach to honoring cinematic tuneage needs a revamp. Certainly the voters should still recognize original songs and original scores. But I propose a new award: best adapted song.

This would allow the Academy to applaud tracks that may not have been written expressly for the purposes of a certain film, like, say, Sad Brad Smith's "Help Yourself" from "Up in the Air," which was booted out of the best song race this year because a portion of it had been previously rendered. (And yeah, I know it's not exactly sweeping the dance clubs either, but it's a great song and deserved to compete.)

More importantly, a category like this would also allow more rock, pop and hip-hop favorites that play prominent, even iconic roles in modern movies to be recognized. Imagine a world where, say, "Tango de Roxanne" from "Moulin Rouge" could win an Oscar. Or "Mad World" from "Donnie Darko." Or "Where is My Mind?" from "Fight Club."

Hey, if we can do 10 best picture nominees, why not?

Guest Celebritologist Jen Chaney oversees online movie coverage for the Post and feels strongly that "Blame Canada" was robbed of its rightful Oscar in 1999.

Michael Jackson's doctor, Conrad Murray, makes his way into an L.A. courthouse. (AP)

Headlines: Michael Jackson doctor Conrad Murray charged with involuntary manslaughter, will return for hearing in April; Jackson's family thinks the charge wasn't enough... Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie sues British tabloid over split rumors... Howard Stern to replace Simon Cowell on "American Idol"?... Summit Entertainment suing company over "Twilight"-related DVD... K-Fed says he would get married again (that whooshing sound is me, breathing a sigh of relief)... Bill Murray says he's proud of his difficult reputation... Brooklyn Decker, wife of Andy Roddick, is Sports Illustrated's swimsuit cover girl... Andrew McCarthy has run-in with gunman while writing travel piece in Ethiopia; gunman reportedly demanded to know: "Blaine, what about prom?" (Oh, I'm kidding. That joke was too easy.)

Crime Watch: Lil Wayne to be sentenced today in gun case... Charlie Sheen and wife reunited after judge modifies restraining order; "Two and a Half Men" still faces felony menacing and misdemeanor assault charges in alleged domestic violence incident... Gary Coleman pleads guilty to misdemeanor charge related to domestic violence incident.

Rumor Mill: Cameron Diaz allegedly "totally hooking up" with A-Rod... Courteney Cox to adopt?... Jets QB Mark Sanchez reportedly leaves Maxim Super Bowl party with Kristin Cavallari.

Casting and movie news: Katherine Heigl to star in "One for the Money," based on Janet Evanovich's Stephanie Plum novel... "24" could become a movie... Steve Coogan seriously considering Alan Partridge film... Daniel Dae Kim of "Lost" signed to star in "Hawaii Five-O" remake.

---
Guest Celebritologist Jen Chaney oversees the Post's online movie coverage and regularly analyzes "Lost" with Liz Kelly.

In the last two Super Bowls, we've been treated to four virtuoso performances by quarterbacks as the Steelers' Ben Roethlisberger outdueled the Cardinals' Kurt Warner in 2009 and last night, the Saints' Drew Brees prevailed over the Colts' Peyton Manning. For years, the adage in the NFL has been that to win, you need a franchise quarterback. The same should be said for football movies.

Let's take a look back as some recent gridiron films and their signal-callers and see who passed muster.

The Replacements (2000)
QB: Keanu Reeves (Shane Falco)

The notion that these scab players were filling in for striking professionals was not lost on Reeves, whose on-field performance is rivaled only by his Southern accent in "The Devil's Advocate." And while the southpaw did have more zip on the ball than I thought he would, he's no Steve Young.

Small ball: Head coach Tony D'Amato (Al Pacino) talk strategy with QB Willie Beaman (Jamie Foxx) in "Any Given Sunday." (Getty Images)

Any Given Sunday (1999)
QBs: Dennis Quaid ('Cap' Rooney) and Jamie Foxx (Willie Beaman)

The brand of football captured in this Oliver Stone movie looked more like the awful Vince McMahon-hatched XFL that was to come in 2001 than modern-day professional football. But through the lens of America's favorite rabble-rousing director we see an admirable performance by Quaid as a quarterback in the sunset of his career, taking what looks to be truly ferocious hits. As for his apprentice, Foxx -- who ticks in at 5 feet, 9 inches -- runs around well, but imagining a Lilliputian running any NFL offense other than the Wildcat is a bit much.

Varsity Blues (1999)
QBs: James Van Der Beek (Jonathon Moxon) and Paul Walker (Lance Harbor)

Sure the football scenes are laughable -- backed by such jock jams as The Foo Fighters' "There Goes My Hero" -- and the hijinks and family dynamics portrayed are as cliched as Hollywood can manufacture. One positive is Walker, who, with his limited screen time on the field, proved to be a believable high school quarterback. (At least as much as the film could allow you to believe.) But when he's felled by an injury, enter Van Der Beek whose sloppy drawl, wobbly throws and Dawson doe-eyes are nearly impossible to handle. Unless it's "The Heath Shuler Story."

The Longest Yard (2005)
QB: Adam Sandler (Paul Crewe)

Sandler changes the the tenor of the movie from the 1974 original which was more dramatic and socially aware to the usual Sandler fare, full of camp and more concerned about squeezing in sigh-inducing cameos. As a result, Sandler plays more ringmaster than athlete, but he comes bulked up like a good inmate would.

What're your thoughts on actors as quarterbacks? And why hasn't there been a classic football film yet on the level of a "Raging Bull" or "Rocky" for boxing or "The Natural" or "Bull Durham" for baseball?

Christian Pelusi is a senior producer in Style and laughs every time he sees "The Bachelor" throw a football.

Headlines: "Dear John" sacks box-office reign of "Avatar"... Sarah Palin's Tea Party crib notes... Justin Timberlake revels in Harvard's Hasty Pudding... Jamie Lynn Spears splits from baby daddy, moves out to be with new dude... Heidi Montag: "I'm not in a good place right now"... Jay Leno's mea culpa tour continues with Super Bowl ad with Oprah, Letterman... Carrie Prejean engaged to former Baltimore Raven... NBC considers lifting tape delay for Emmys... Andrew Shue and NBC's "Today" co-host Amy Robach get hitched... DWTS finalist, former NFLer Warren Sapp arrested on domestic battery charges.

Rumors: Gerard Butler and Jennifer Aniston an item?... Tiger Woods approaching a return to the links?... Friends defend a contestant on "The Bachelor" from cheating rumors... New York City madam to run for governor.

--Guest Celebritologist Christian Pelusi

Mel Gibson, who tells French reporters he's trying to work on his 'short fuse,' poses at a photocall to promote his new movie 'Edge of Darkness,' in Paris Thursday. (AP)

Headlines: Emma Watson named Hollywood's highest paid actress... Coroner: Pnuemonia, drugs killed Brittany Murphy; Casey Johnson died of diabetes complications... Murphy's husband, Simon Monjack, says she didn't seem that sick... Tila Tequila returns to Twitter... Scarlett Johansson designing handbag for Haiti relief... Naomi Campbell plans fashion show to raise Haiti funds... "K-Fat" nickname motivated Kevin Federline to lose weight... Sara Rue nears weight loss goal... Kate Gosselin returning to "The View" in March... Fans petition "SNL" for Betty White-hosted episode... "Jersey Shore" house for rent.

Crime Watch: Michael Jackson doctor Conrad Murray will surrender to police today, source tells CNN, though it is unsure when he will be booked... Cybill Shepherd's son appears in court on theft charges... Security guards could face charges for posing for Kristen Stewart jury pix.

Rumor Mill: "Idol" producers want Howard Stern to replace Simon Cowell... Jennifer Aniston "wants to be set up with a wealthy businessman"... Charlie Sheen to be charged with felony for Christmas day domestic incident... Madonna hosts dance-off at New York club.

Post Magazine: Celebrate movie brides through the years | Gallery: Hollywood's woman in white

---
Note: I'll be on vacation for the next week, but a superstar line-up of subs will be here blogging to you in my place. See you in a week!

How well do you know your celebs?

Twits has a brand new spiffy quiz format! Watch the short video clips below -- in which actors dramatize some of the best mind droppings celebs have to offer -- to match the quotes with the celebrity who originally posted them to Twitter.

This week's Twits are:

Keep them in mind as you watch the video, below:

Now, let me know how you did -- and how you like the new format -- in the comments section below.
---

Actor Bios:

Cesar Guadamuz is a local artiste of the stage and a cog in the world known as White Collar.

Jen Chaney oversees The Washington Post's online movie coverage and spends a lot of time over-analyzing "Lost."

Annie Mueller is a local actor and a graphic design student at Northern Virginia Community College.

Aidan Hughes is a Washington-based stage and film actor who most recently appeared in "My One and Only." He's currently appearing in the play "Constant State of Panic" at the H Street Playhouse.

---

"Twits" is a regular video series in which actors dramatize selected text from celebrity Twitter feeds.

Headlines: Lindsay Lohan, secret hoarder?:

Tila Tequila, Perez Hilton make Forbes's list of top 25 Web celebs... John Travolta says he was "like a commander" during trip to Haiti... John Mayer donates $500K to Haiti relief... Brittany Murphy's husband cancels pay-for-play memorial event... "90210's" Ian Ziering engaged... Sex Pistol Johnny Rotten settles case alleging he punched woman in the face.

Crime Watch: Leif Garrett arrested for heroin possession... Kim Kardashian wins permanent restraining order against alleged stalker.

Rumor Mill: Michael Jackson's doctor to be arraigned on Friday... Tiger Woods's wife dumps divorce lawyer... Pam Anderson signs deal to appear on "Dancing with the Stars"... Secret Madonna and A-Rod meet up in Manhattan?

Pix/Video: Get 'em while they're hot: Tiger Woods's mistress golf balls.

Chat Day! Join me at 2 p.m. ET for this week's edition of Celebritology Live. Now with 40 percent less snow.

Gallery: Celebs with reusable shopping totes.

In which Jen Chaney and I return to our friendly debate (and dissection) of TV's densest (in a good way) TV show. Read, add your thoughts in the comments section, then join us at 2 p.m. ET for the first "Lost" Hour chat of the season.

The resurrected Esau (Terry O'Quinn, right) confronts Richard Alpert (Nestor Carbonell). (ABC)

Jen: Like Jack Shephard while on his rebooted Oceanic 815 flight, I can't quite shake the feeling we've been here before. Oh, that's because we have: sitting in front of our laptops at an ungodly hour, trying to tap-tap-tap our way into making some sense of what we just saw in a two-hour season premiere of "Lost." But something is different this time.

This time we know we're in the home stretch, hurtling toward the end (sniff) of "Lost" and, hopefully, some answers. The first indication we might be getting answers? We opened the episode with that leaked clip we all had already seen -- Jack and Rose on the flight, turbulence and then... nothing. And that meant: reboot. Do-over. "It's okay," says Rose. "You can let go." That seemed like a particularly meaningful choice of words, don't you think?

Liz: Indeed it did. And, by the way, hello Jen. I know I only see you like five days a week, but yet I feel as if I haven't really talked to you since last May. It's good to be back in the air, even if we are -- again -- hurtling into oblivion. That opening scene on flight 815 was eye-opening. But before we dissect its meaning and plunge beneath the ocean to talk about the underwater Dharma village, maybe we should give a shout out to all the old, familiar faces we saw on that flight. Frogurt, anyone?

Much more after the jump!

---

New! Text "LOST" to 98999 to get The Post's latest "Lost" news -- and our weekly post-show dueling analysis -- sent directly to your phone.