There's just something unnerving about a disembodied Oprah head floating in space and crowned with two dogs.

I'm not the world's biggest Oprah fan, as has been made abundantly clear here in the past. The woman has an outsized ego and way too much sway over the minds (and spending habits) of middle America. That's why when I saw that Oprah was the latest subject of the one-note celeb-centric artist Daniel Edwards (yes, the same guy who brought us the NSFW Britney giving birth and Paris Hilton autopsy sculptures), my face immediately mimicked the look it gets when I find my own dog has unceremoniously left a present in the middle of the living room rug.

(Image courtesy Leo Kesting Gallery)

As if flesh-and-blood Oprah wasn't bad enough, Edwards has transformed Winfrey into a golden goddess, replete with flowing mane and supporting life-sized likenesses of her dead dogs Sophie and Gracie atop her stately head. Yes, that's right. She's immortalized toting two dogs on her noggin -- which may just be slightly more asinine than Sarah Jessica Parker's "Sex and the City" premiere hat and conjures up many questions about sanitation and, like, if there's a dog park or something up there for them to relieve themselves. I know I'm being too literal and not sitting back and letting the "artiness" of the experience wash over me, but we're already being asked to disregard several laws of physics and the fact that the real Oprah would have Gayle King -- not her dogs -- perched up there.

The big gold O also immediately clicked in my mind with promos for the upcoming latest installment of the Indiana Jones franchise and I couldn't help but imagine Indy transported through time to present day Chicago, working his way through a series of false idols (Dr. Phil, Rachael Ray, Tyra Banks) before securing the Oprah-dog-deity totem and keeping it safe from the clutches of malevolent forces. And, leading up to the movie's release, Oprah could give one of these puppies (hehehe) away to each audience member. Who wants a fossil-fuel guzzling Ford Focus when you can have a genuine objet d'art? Even if it does look like it was spray-painted with Krylon Glistening Gold (no. 401) and custom-made to top a low-rent Liberace's piano?

The sculpture, according to promotional material, is meant to raise awareness about the dangers pets face in the home -- one of Oprah's dogs died when she choked on a ball last year. It's also the artist's second run at Oprah -- who he has said is the closest thing America has to a deity -- as subject material. Earlier this year, he debuted the Egyptian-esque Oprah Sarcophagus to an equally sickened-yet-fascinated public.

All I know is I've got one sparsely decorated mantel just waiting for a little Oprah-style bling. Hint hint.

Headlines: Angelina Jolie confirms she's expecting twins (thanks to Jack Black)... Model Marisa Miller tops Maxim's Hot 100 list... Gwyneth Paltrow not a fan of back fat... Stars stroll Cannes red carpet... Malawi court delays Madonna adoption ruling... Paul McCartney criticized for flying car to U.K... Dolly Parton threatens to sue Howard Stern over manipulated audio... Anne Heche tells custody case judge she's broke... Dennis Quaid talks to Congress about medical errors... Olympic skater Nancy Kerrigan delivers third child... Celine Dion says she has thousands of shoes.

Crime Watch: Amy Winehouse won't face charges for alleged drug video.

Rumor Mill: Lindsay Lohan cozies up to Joel Madden (as in Nicole Richie's Joel Madden)... Jessica Simpson parties way too hard... Jodie Foster and long-time partner split... Halle Berry not engaged, says source... "Gossip Girl's" Michelle Trachtenberg faints at in-store event.

Say What?
"I just can't concentrate in flats." -- Victoria Beckham on her love of high heels

Chat Day: Join me for this week's bootylicious edition of Celebritology Live at 2 p.m. ET.

(Image via PopGumbo.com)

Yep, we know Beyonce Knowles is bootylicious, but suddenly the pop diva turned designer is at the receiving end of a torrent of criticism for marketing that image to the second-grade set.

The latest from Beyonce's House of Dereon -- the fashion label she runs with mom Tina -- is "Dereon Girls." And while the clothes themselves may be innocuous enough (if trite and trendy), it is the advertisements featuring seven-year-olds in full makeup and high heels that has critics lining up to charge Beyonce with contributing to the delinquency of minors.

Though the ads debuted last fall, they've been the target of a resurgent flurry of comments in the blogosphere:

Asks (NSFW) blog PopGumbo: "What is the next ad going to look like? Babies wearing gold metallic bikinis while five-year old boys throw Monopoly money on them."

Conservative critic Michelle Malkin, invoking JonBenet Ramsey's image and dubbing the child models "Little Girls Gone Wild", writes that Knowles "launched a girls clothing line that makes Miley [Cyrus]'s bare-backed glam session look like a Shirley Temple photo shoot." She was referring, of course, to the Vanity Fair pix that took the Web (and newsstands) by storm a couple of weeks back, causing a nice bump in sales of Vanity Fair and garnering Cyrus plenty of PR, though possibly spawning a hairline fracture in her status as a tween idol.

And, asks Ryan Tate over at Gawker, "However will Annie Leibovitz take edgy pictures of them when they reach the next break in the celebrity pipeline if they've already been dressing like this for ten years?"

What do you think?

Headlines: Britney Spears rear-ends SUV in Beverly Hills (video)... Drew Barrymore rear-ended (not by Britney) in hit-and-run incident... Madonna pledges to build girls' school in Malawi... Oprah's "Big Give" not renewed for another season... Al Reynolds speaks out about Star Jones divorce on MySpace page... Jolie-Pitt clan boats in Monaco... Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon celebrate wedding with theme park party; plan to renew vows next year... Isaiah Washington suing ABC over "Grey's" promo... Stars gear up for Cannes Film Festival... Marissa Jaret Winokur voted off "Dancing With the Stars"... James Garner hospitalized following stroke... Paul Newman alive and kicking, says Army Archerd... Pic: Miley Cyrus's "Got Milk" ad.

Crime Watch: Remy Ma gets eight years for shooting friend.

Rumor Mill: Sarah Jessica Parker and Kim Catrall avoid each other at "Sex and the City" after party... Mariah and Nick already expecting?

Say What?
"The first time we really hung out she flashed me." -- Pete Wentz on how he fell in love with fiancee Ashlee Simpson