Celebritology

Forget the "Sexiest Man Alive." We gather today to give thanks for a much rarer form of male attractor: the hot dirtbag. The topic came up in last week's Celebritology Live discussion and by the end of the chat I had promised to compile a list of my top 10 objects of attraction.

Now I get that the dirtbag isn't for everyone, but hey, sometimes nice guys finish last. And to somewhat fracture the words of Mae West: when guys are good they're good, but when they're bad they're better. For some of us, the bad boy will always hold a certain attraction. If we're lucky, we know better than to act on our impulses; we learn to admire a dirtbag from afar, much as we would a Picasso dipped in ebola juice.

The dirtbag criteria: A man who's attractive -- either physically or charismatically -- but whose appeal may be hidden beneath a layer of grime or his big-time dirtbag tendencies (aka drugging, lying, cheating on a spouse).

My top 10 hot dirtbags (after the jump):

Headlines: Lindsay Lohan heads home to make "amazing" mashed potatoes | Mackenzie Phillips "uninvited" to family fest | More celebrity Thanksgiving plans... Oprah set to tape "holiday season" sit-down interview with President Obama... Charlize Theron raises funds to build soccer fields in South Africa... Boy George says prison helped him beat drugs... Taylor Lautner, Rihanna and Blake Lively headed to "SNL" in December... Jon Voight says Megan Fox not as talented as daughter Angelina Jolie... Levi Johnston flip-flops, says he would do "Dancing with the Stars"... Miley Cyrus pronounces Zac Efron the "hottest person in the world"... Tyler Perry accused of plagiarism.

Crime Watch: Roman Polanski to serve house arrest at Swiss resort; jail release not likely until at Monday at earliest... Sylvester Stallone caught driving with two kids sharing a passenger's side seatbelt.

Pix: John Mayer on the December Details cover.

Rumor Mill: Katie Holmes "moves out," claims tabloid... Leonardo DiCaprio and Bar Rafaeli back together?... Did Elisabetta Canalis step out on George Clooney?... Tiger Woods cheating (on his wife, not golf)?... Courtney Love claims Britney Spears's father "molested her"... Michael Lohan behind in child support payments... Victoria Beckham delays bunion surgery.

Say What?
"She was murdered by a man she didn’t even know. He used a number 4 steak knife, and then was so despondent that he ran to an overpass and threw himself off. Pieces of his body were scattered all over. To this day, I can't eat meat." -- A snippet of James Franco's "General Hospital" dialogue, in which he describes a lost love.

Demi Moore's questioned cover shot. (Photo courtesy W magazine)

Last week, a scandal of minor proportions erupted when photographer Anthony Citrano (among others) claimed that Demi Moore's hot new W magazine cover had not just been PhotoShopped, but PhotoShopped so poorly that she seemed to be missing one hip.

Both Demi and a W spokesperson denied any retouching had taken place and the matter seemed to drift off into the land of headscratchers.

Until today, when pix surfaced of model Anja Rubik wearing the same outfit on the runway. When the image is superimposed over Demi's W cover, well, the similarity isn't exactly exact, but there are some definite correlations.

The heart of the debate seems to be whether a 46-year-old Moore's body could in any way rock that gold Balmain getup as well as the 26-year-old Rubik. The question of the hour seems to be that, although there's no denying Demi is hot, is she that hot? And are we buying her claim that the W cover is unvarnished, unretouched Demi?

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Happy Thanksgiving! See you back here on Friday. -- Liz

Donny Osmond and Kym Johnson wrap up their final, winning 'Dancing with the Stars' performance. (Reuters)

Headlines: Michael Lohan leaks Jon Gosselin phone tapes; can Lohan go to jail for that?... Adam Lambert "Good Morning America" performance pulled... Donny Osmond wins "Dancing with the Stars"... Paula Abdul angling for her own talk show... Lindsay Lohan to keep her "job" at Ungaro... Julie Andrews to make first stage appearance in decades... Amanda Peet to guest star on "How I Met Your Mother"... Oprah Winfrey settles up mom's unpaid bills.

Pix: Rod Stewart steps out with big, floppy neck bow (and wife Penny Lancaster-Stewart).

Rumor Mill: Forget the hip, did W replace Demi Moore's entire body?... Nicole Kidman not pregnant, says rep... Britney Spears set to marry agent Jason Trawick?... Angelina Jolie not a Barack Obama fan... Katie Holmes talks through New York "New Moon" screening... Robert Pattinson introduced Kristen Stewart to mom and dad.

Jon and Kate Gosselin in happier times, before being chewed up and spat out by the reality show wringer. (Photo courtesy TLC)

This week we have something for which to be truly thankful: The end of "Jon & Kate," though possibly not an immediate end to Jon Gosselin and Kate Gosselin as well-worn headline fodder.

If the 15 minutes of fame for these estranged parents of eight follows a logical trajectory, the absence of a regularly airing TV show and an army of TLC publicists should cut off most of the blood supply to the couple's fame. Meaning that a year from now they'll be footnotes, with news of Jon's latest exploits falling somewhere just below the misadventures of Joe Francis or Octomom Nadya Suleman.

Having said that (and you Larry David fans know whereof I speak), it is equally likely that both Jon and Kate Gosselin -- in the absence of "docudrama" cameras and the frisson of one another's presence -- will still remain very much at the forefront of celebri-tainment headlines. Because when it comes to fame, logic ain't always part of the equation. The bar for what qualifies as "news" -- and for who qualifies as a newsmaker -- has fallen so far, it is indistinguishable from the earth's core.

Take, for instance, any member of the Lohan family -- from trainwreck Lindsay to despicable dad Michael. Thanks to his regularly scheduled releases of private phone conversations and her non-stop, incoherent Twittering, we are treated to an almost daily digest of Lohan exploits. Or better yet, consider the Kardashian family -- dearly departed dad's association with O.J. Simpson and Kim K's Ray-Jay sex tape were the clan's cheap price of admission into the tabs alongside actual stars.

I could go on, but I think you get my point. Do you agree that we aren't likely to escape Jon and Kate, even if they've managed to escape each other? Or do you think that the final "Jon & Kate Plus 8" really does mark the end of an era, to use the term "era" loosely?

Headlines: Martha Stewart apologizes for dissing Rachael Ray... Brangelina gave $6.4 million to charity in 2008... the same year, Will Smith and wife Jada Pinkett-Smith gave $70,000 to Scientology groups... ABC flooded with complaints about Adam Lambert's AMA performance; citing artistic freedom, Lambert remains unapologetic... J.Lo says her AMA fall was intentional... Courteney Cox set to return to "Cougar Town" set... Timbaland cuts Chris Brown from his album... Keith Urban wants daughter Sunday Rose to become a singer... Are you obsessed enough with Robert Pattinson to buy a documentary about Robert Pattinson obsession?... Zac Efron's hair secret: sleep on it wet... Corey Feldman re-ups for another "Lost Boys" sequel... Candy Spelling settles suit with former maid.

Crime Watch: Police chief convicted for stealing from Sarah Jessica Parker's surrogate... Man pleads innocent to taping Erin Andrews nude.

Pix: Lisa Rinna sans makeup... Kristen Stewart sports pot leaf bikini in 2008 pic.

Video: The 10 best celebrity computer ads of the 1980s [AdFreak]...

More: Spencer Pratt frets that wife Heidi Montag is pregnant, in which case, he says the marriage is "game over."

Rumor Mill: Former lawyer wants Jon Gosselin to cough up $43,000 in unpaid fees... Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom buy $4 million home.

Say What?
"Are you serious? You don't recognize me? I'm Miley Cyrus." -- Cyrus's alleged response when asked by an employee at a New York eatery what name to attach to her order.

I ask because based on the pix released by Playgirl.com in an attempt to cajole us into buying a monthly pass to view an expanded gallery (I wasn't able to expense, so no go), I'm getting less heat than I would from an Abercrombie & Fitch catalog. See Levi. See Levi topless. See Levi sweaty. See Levi's armpit hair. Meh.

(Photo courtesy Playgirl.com)

Male nudity, beefcake, has always been a hit or miss kind of thing. Mostly miss. Witness the limited success of the male stripping industry. Even the Chippendales come off as more party prank (let's make the bride-to-be blush!) than party favor. The unadorned male body (sorry guys) just doesn't have that crucial "it" factor -- curves, smoothness, lack of lower back hair -- that keeps everything from girlie mags to the fashion industry moving along at a steady hum.

(This isn't to say, guys, that you don't have definite attractions. There's the disarming grin, the way you wear that old ski cap, even the way you heft a drill or wield an air guitar. It's when you try to out sexpot the girls that the trouble begins.)

Before any of you settle in for a nice rebut, consider this:

-- Playboy sells approximately 2.6 million print issues per month in the U.S. In August, Playgirl announced it would be discontinuing its print version as of January 2009, though the magazine will still live online.

-- The only reason we're still interested in Levi Johnston is because of his baby-mama-in-law, Sarah Palin, and surprisingly hard-working manager Tank Jones. And, in fact, Marge Simpson drummed up more excitement with her October Playboy cover.

-- This = funny. This (although NSFW) = boring.

Oh, and a word of warning for anyone thinking of surfing over to Playgirl.com: Once you declare you are indeed of age, well, it gets pretty NSFW faster than you can say Levi Johnston.

Lady Gaga performs at Sunday night's American Music Awards. (AP)

Headlines: Michael Jackson wins four AMAs... Meanwhile, J.Lo falls during performance (at 3:01 in video)... Jackson glove sells for $350K... One killed in Miley Cyrus tour bus accident... Heidi Klum officially takes Seal's last name... Jon Gosselin brings bouquet to mediation ("Jon & Kate" finale to air tonight)... Courteney Cox's "family matter" shuts down "Cougar Town" production... Bulls escape from set of Tom Cruise, Cameron Diaz movie.

Crime Watch: Britney Spears ex Adnan Ghalib jailed.

Pix: Leighton Meester in the worst outfit ever.

Video: Oprah's big announcement. | Photo Gallery: O Through the Years

Rumor Mill: Marv Albert denies scuffle with 50 Cent... Did Kate Beckinsale leave her dog alone in a closed car for hours?... Amy Winehouse set to remarry ex Blake Fielder-Civil?