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Overblown Rumor of the Summer: Brangelina Breakup?
Considering the big headlines of just a couple weeks ago (Pam and Kid Rock, Mel Gibson) and the massive "SoaP" hype hangover, celebrity news sites are somewhat becalmed by a relatively uneventful late August. Cunning marketing execs try to take advantage of the news vacuum to drum up interest in novelty releases, photogs flock to pools and beaches for a few last shots of skimpy Speedos and so-what somehow passes for breaking news.
Conditions are therefore perfect for The Overblown Rumor.
In this instance, a rumor so anemic Nicole Richie could best it in a cage match is multiplying across the the Web like so many Tribbles. Being a responsible, restrained purveyor of celebrity scuttlebutt, I have no choice but ignore it and return to the distribution of stories of import.
Who am I kidding?
Brad and Angie (complete with pillow-lips), together forever in wax. (Getty Images)
BRANGELINA IS ARE IS, LIKE, SO OVER!
At least that's what these sites would have us believe.
To summarize: Brad is still in love with Jennifer Aniston, who put him first and stroked his ego appropriately. Angelina (refreshingly described in many of the above reports as "pillow-lipped") is fed up with the now near-constant fighting and wants to take the family back to Namibia where the kids can grow up as citizens of the world. Her first step on the road to the world is apparently L.A.'s swank Hotel Bel Air where she is currently holed up with the kids. Brad remains in Malibu waiting for Aniston to return his calls.
So far, the only grain of truth I'm able to find in any of this is that Brad's last name is, in fact, Pitt and Tribbles can "reabsorb their young in harsh conditions."
But, just in case, don't say you weren't warned because this will not happen again.
By Liz |
August 23, 2006; 10:44 AM ET
| Category:
Brangelina
,
Celebrities
,
Celebritology 101
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Posted by: bc | August 23, 2006 11:49 AM
Dammit, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a blogger!
Posted by: mmy | August 23, 2006 1:12 PM
Angelina, I'm available! Please oh please :-)
Posted by: Inquiring mind | August 23, 2006 1:27 PM
Who gives a rat's behind!
Posted by: Not me | August 23, 2006 1:55 PM
Yes!!! I knew Angelina would come to her senses. Your true love is right here, darling! (Sorry inquiring mind)
Posted by: Rol | August 23, 2006 2:08 PM
So did anyone see the Spike Doc last night. I did it was good. If you didn't see it yet it's going to be on HBO on demand soon. I knw this is off subject, but I'm tired of reading about Brad and his baby mother. They slept toghether, moved to Nambia, had kids, and adopted some. The end.
Posted by: hogboss | August 23, 2006 4:27 PM
If Brad has any sense, he'll dump her sorry butt and move on. I mean, Angelina is hot, but she is bug-eyed crazy. That means she's so good looking and so wild in the sack that guys are drawn to her, but ultimately, she's so nuts that you drop her.
She's getting a little long in the tooth.
31? hahahahahaha Yeah. Me too. hahahaha.
Posted by: Bunkley | August 23, 2006 10:30 PM
ROFL, tribbles. touche
Posted by: | August 24, 2006 9:27 AM
love
Posted by: mike | August 24, 2006 8:13 PM
The comments to this entry are closed.
Liz, shame on you for a Star Trek reference.
Shame, shame, shame.
That is like so 40 years ago.
What's next, are you going to tell us that Liz Taylor and Richard Burton are breaking up/together again?
bc