Archive: November 2006

A Musical List Smorgasbord

Long-time Celebritology readers know there's nothing I like more than a list. What is more satisfying than second-guessing someone else's taste? Not much, it turns out. We've been critiquing lists here for the better part of a year now and, may I be the first to say, we have impeccable taste. I couldn't agree with us more. Today, we have a trio of music-related lists to dissect: Teen Spirit, the Bestest Smell Fans of "I'm Too Sexy" might want to sit down: Nirvana grunge-breaking "Smells Like Teen Spirit" was named the best pop song of the last two decades by Britain's Q magazine. To make the list a song must have been released in the past 20 years and be "instantly memorable." Which explains why stinkers like Britney Spears's "...Baby One More Time" and Eminem's "Stan" made the list. Twice As Nice If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery,...

By Liz | November 30, 2006; 10:43 AM ET | Comments (86)

Morning Mix: Kidman Is Highest Paid Actress

Headlines: Nicole Kidman tops highest-paid actress list... Cameron Diaz says she doesn't want to get married... Malawi court allows Madonna adoption challenge... 50 Cent criticizes Oprah... Michael Douglas has near-miss in Bermuda... Celine Dion sidelined by illness... Rod Stewart and Rachel Hunter officially divorced; Christian Slater, too... Kathy Griffin's "D-List" gets third season... They're here, again: "Poltergeist" remake planned. Rumor Mill: Jennifer Aniston considering "Dancing With the Stars"... TomKat purchase English country home... Is J.Lo flirting with Scientology?... Lindsay Lohan considering ride on the wagon... Kid Rock was tired of Pam's partying... Anna Nicole Smith ordered to submit baby for paternity test... Suge Knight calls Snoop Dogg a "snitch"... Renee Zellweger to star in third "Bridget Jones" movie... Did David Cassidy hook up with TV sister Susan Dey? P.S. In case you missed it, Danny DeVito made an unforgettable appearance on yesterday's "View" (and now he's sorry):...

By Liz | November 30, 2006; 7:48 AM ET | Comments (0)

When Celebrities Divorce

Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock at their July wedding ceremony. (Getty Images) Word in the buzz-o-sphere is that fictitious wild-and-crazy Kazakh Borat is not only an insensitive slob who exploited a poor Romanian village named Mud (I'm not making this up) and tricked drunken frat boys into acting like drunken frat boys, but can also take credit for ending the four-month marriage of Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock, aka GQ's "Newlyweds of the Year." At a private screening of the "Borat" movie, Rock reportedly became enraged about Anderson's role in the film as Borat's object of affection, telling her she'd humiliated herself, and publicly insulting the former "Baywatch" star. Apparently, the movie was nowhere near as classy as the couple's bikini-and-beer wedding in St. Tropez in July. Still, Anderson and Rock are only the latest in a growing list of celebrity marriages to break up in 2006. Reese and...

By Liz | November 29, 2006; 10:42 AM ET | Comments (0)

Morning Mix: PETA Names Nicole Richie 'Worst Dressed'

Headlines: PETA names Nicole Richie "Worst-dressed Celeb"... Tracy Morgan charged with DWI... Michael Richards tries to explain anti-Semitic remarks... Snoop Dogg arrested on drug, gun charges after "Tonight Show" appearance... Anna Nicole Smith says holidays are "depressing"... Matt Lauer and wife welcome third child... Will "Borat" be the death of Bruno?... Queen Latifah to host People's Choice Awards. Rumor Mill: Britney Spears backs out of co-hosting awards show with Paris Hilton... Christina Aguilera carried out of London club... Hilary Duff breaks up with Joel Madden... Sofia Coppola gives birth to baby girl... Heath Ledger, Michelle Williams to marry?... Owen Wilson shopping for Kate Hudson engagement ring?...

By Liz | November 29, 2006; 7:53 AM ET | Comments (0)

Terrible Two: Britney and Paris

Paris Hilton with new best friend Britney Spears. (Cliff Sobel/Splash News) Just a little over a week ago, everything was coming up Britney. The singer, long bedeviled by a millstone of a spouse with delusions of grandeur, had finally pushed him out of the McMansion. She also reentered the public spotlight looking trim, stylish and utterly together. She dropped in on David Letterman, skated Rockefeller Plaza, met with her former (star-making) publicist Leslie Sloane Zelnick and seemed to glow with the confidence of a woman sure of her pre-nup. Spears was back, baby, after two long years spent diminishing her brand in just about every way possible*. But for anyone else out there who, like me, had already moved Britney from the "has-been" to the "come back" column, I'm sorry to say she's done it again. Thanksgiving week was apparently one big spree for Spears, who seems to have...

By Liz | November 28, 2006; 10:43 AM ET | Comments (32)

Morning Mix: Pam Anderson, Kid Rock Divorcing

Headlines: Pamela Anderson, Kid Rock file divorce papers... Jesse Jackson calls for "Seinfeld" DVD boycott; Robin Williams defends Michael Richards... Christie's is auctioning Britney Spears book report; Spears may publish diary of marriage to K-Fed... Alec Baldwin calls Kim Basinger a "great mother"... Chad Lowe disappointed by Hilary Swank's tattle-tale interview... Roma Downey engaged to "Survivor" producer Mark Burnett... Stephen Colbert to open "Stephen Colbert Museum and Gift Shop" in Alabama's Colbert County. Rumor Mill: Lindsay Lohan says "Sex and the City" changed her life... Bruce Willis dating Renee Zellweger? Whatever the case, Willis recently demanded root beer at a New York night club. The nerve... Ben Affleck remaking "Play Misty for Me?"... Sylvester Stallone put on sex ban during latest "Rocky" filming... Eagles of Death Metal walk out on Guns N'Roses tour. Bonus: TV Land lists the top 100 TV show catch phrases, from "Here's Johnny!" to "Homey don't...

By Liz | November 28, 2006; 7:53 AM ET | Comments (0)

Celebritology Holiday Guide: Celebrity Scents

J.Lo's Love at First Glow. (Photo by Liz Kelly for washingtonpost.com) You think she shines like a starlet, but this holiday season help her smell like one. But which one? So many choices, so little time. With only 28 shopping days till Christmas, the Celebritology Holiday Guide helps you navigate the odiferous world of celebrity fragrances. The Best Beyonce Knowles, True Star Gold What They Say: "Creates an aura of irresistible attraction, fully charged and electrifying." What We Say: The only thing fully charged will be your credit card after dropping the plastic on too many bottles of this scent. Still, it's subtlety makes it a standout in the celebrity scent realm. Pumpkin flower, raspberry, honey. Yes, please. Price: $45.99 (Wal-Mart, Target, Macy's) The Worst: Britney Spears, Fantasy What They Say: "A magic love potion of sweet temptation that leaves a tantalizing trail of embracing sensuality." What We Say:...

By Liz | November 27, 2006; 10:33 AM ET | Comments (12)

Morning Mix: Lindsay Lohan Says Paris Hit Her

Headlines: Michael Richards apologizes again for racist rant; real Kramer distances himself from remarks... Heidi Klum and Seal welcome new son, Johan Riley Fyodor Taiwo Samuel... Princes William and Harry plan concert to mark 10th anniversary of Diana's death... Brangelina visit Vietnam orphanage... Kate Winslet's body inspired new Jaguar model... Charlie Sheen auctions letter from Marlon Brando... Rolling Stones break record for top-grossing tour... A theme park dedicated to Bruce Lee is going up in China... Borat to release Christmas single... Tawny Kitaen ("Bachlor Party," Whitesnake videos) charged with cocaine possession. Rumor Mill: Lindsay Lohan says Paris Hilton hit her... Did Tom Cruise wear a girdle at wedding?... O.J. Simpson was paid for scrapped book... Paris Hilton's style rubbing off on new friend Britney Spears... Jude Law says divorce left him broke... Rapper Akon says he has three wives....

By Liz | November 27, 2006; 8:30 AM ET | Comments (5)

Giving Thanks for Paris Hilton, Jimi Hendrix and Richard Simmons

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and although I'll be spending most of the morning trying to produce a reasonable facsimile of Kim O'Donnel's tofu pumpkin pie (Kim also has some fab-looking lard-inclusive recipes), I'll try to remember to pause and be thankful for the good things in life: - Waking up to stories like Paris Hilton Parties Till She Pukes and heart-warming pictures, like this of Bai Ling, nemesis to stylists everywhere. Truly, I am the luckiest girl in the world. - The knowledge that icons are able to endorse products from the grave. For instance, Jimi Hendrix, whose name is being used to sell Hendrix Electric Vodka, a 100 percent grain vodka. Visit his official Web site for promo photos of bikini-clad blondes and recipes, like the Foxy Lady or the Purple haze. It's just so rock and roll, right? - Richard Simmons on Circus of the Stars XVII, circa 1992:...

By Liz | November 22, 2006; 10:45 AM ET | Comments (9)

Morning Mix: Rosie Calls Kelly Ripa Homophobic

Headlines: Rosie O'Donnell accuses Kelly Ripa of homophobia; Ripa says the claim is "downright outrageous" and "out of line"... Director Robert Altman dead at 81; read Stephen Hunter's appreciation... Lawyer says there's no Spears-Federline sex tape; K-Fed offered part in British reality show... Janet Jackson confesses to mile-high club membership... Wesley Snipes says he's a "scapegoat"... Bush daughter robbed in Argentina... O.J. Simpson book could surface on Internet... TAFKACS (The Artist Formerly Known As Cat Stevens) returns to music world... Kanye West calls bi-racial women "mutts"... Comedian/actress Amy Sedaris pens "entertaining" book... Daddy Warbucks tops list of wealthiest fictional characters... "Casino Royale" illegally downloaded over 200,000 times... "Celebrity Fit Club" to return with Maureen McCormick, Dustin Diamond, Tiffany, Da Brat. Rumor Mill: Nicole Richie fires stylist Rachel Zoe... Lindsay Lohan to make movie about Stevie Nicks... Jessica Simpson and John Mayer dating again?... Britney Spears shopping for house in Florida......

By Liz | November 22, 2006; 8:07 AM ET | Comments (29)

TEST -- DO NOT PUBLISH!!!

// Programmed By: Michael C. Hundt Copyright08-25-99, mchundt@nglic.com, http://www.cinet.net/~mhundt/ // Permission granted to SimplytheBest.net to feature script in its DHTML script collection // Courtesy of SimplytheBest.net - http://simplythebest.net/scripts/ var MFname = new Array("Allen","Bob","Carlton","David","Ernie","Foster","George","Howard","Ian","Jeffery","Kenneth","Lawernce", "Michael","Nathen","Orson","Peter","Quinten","Reginald","Stephen","Thomas","Morris","Victor","Walter","Xavier", "Charles","Anthony","Gordon","Percy","Conrad","Quincey","Armand","Jamal","Andrew","Matthew","Mark","Gerald") var FFname = new Array("Alice","Bonnie","Cassie","Donna","Ethel","Fannie","Grace","Heather","Jan","Katherine", "Julie","Marcia","Patricia","Mabel","Jennifer","Dorthey","Mary Ellen","Jacki","Jean","Betty", "Diane","Annette","Dawn","Jody","Karen","Mary Jane","Shannon","Stephanie","Kathleen","Emily", "Tiffany","Angela","Christine","Debbie","Karla","Sandy","Marilyn","Brenda","Hayley","Linda") var Lname = new Array("Adams","Bowden","Conway","Darden","Edwards","Flynn","Gilliam","Holiday","Ingram","Johnson", "Kraemer","Hunter","McDonald","Nichols","Peirce","Sawyer","Saunders","Schmidt","Schroeder","Smith", "Douglas","Ward","Watson","Williams","Winters","Yeager","Ford","Forman","Dixon","Clark", "Churchill","Brown","Blum","Anderson","Black","Cavenaugh","Hampton","Jenkins","Jefferies","Prichard") var r=0 var i=0 function RandomName() { r=Math.floor(Math.random() * Lname.length); if(document.NAMEIT.GENDER.options[1].selected == true) { i=Math.floor(Math.random() * FFname.length); document.NAMEIT.FNAME.value=FFname[i] document.NAMEIT.LNAME.value=Lname[r] } else { i=Math.floor(Math.random() * MFname.length); document.NAMEIT.FNAME.value=MFname[i] document.NAMEIT.LNAME.value=Lname[r] } } // Hide this script from incompatible browsers! --> Celebrity Baby Name Generator Gender: Male Female First Name: Last Name:...

By Liz | November 21, 2006; 11:55 AM ET | Comments (0)

List: Top 100 Albums of All Time?

Apparently sub-par band Pink Floyd in 1973. (From "The Dark Side of the Moon") It's Tuesday, so it must be time for a Friday list. In a convoluted Liz-logic sort of way this does make sense, see, because I won't be here Friday so we need to make hay while the sun shines, carpe diem, gather rosebuds and whatnot. So, on this browser page it's Friday and we're in list mode. I saw Time's all-time top 100 album list last week, but we were so busy getting ready for TomKat that it would've been lost in the shuffle. It's worth a look, but IMHO there's a lot amiss with this list. The albums aren't ranked, but divided by decade. I guess we're meant to draw some kind of conclusion from the fact that of the nine albums listed as 2000s releases, four are compilations of older artists (Hank Williams,...

By Liz | November 21, 2006; 10:36 AM ET | Comments (135)

Morning Mix: TomKat's Wedding Serenade

TomKat Tidbits: Tom serenaded Katie with "You've Lost That Loving Feeling" at reception... J.Lo pulled rank on plane, brought her own stylist... Brooke Shields gave newlyweds a blender... TomKat cruising islands on honeymoon, but is Scientology leader along for the trip? Headlines: Michael Richards apologizes for racist outburst (Video)... News Corp. pulls plug on O.J. Simpson book, TV special... Scarlett Johansson criticizes President Bush... Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown's Georgia home seized... Romanian village files $30 million lawsuit against "Borat"... Rapper Chingy personalizes ringtones for fans... The Game says police set him up... "Grudge" stars Jason Behr and KaDee Strickland marry. Rumor Mill: Britney Spears may give away sex tape for free; Video: Britney Spears, Paris Hilton party in Vegas... Is Madonna planning second Malawi adoption?... Orlando Bloom, Kirsten Dunst dating?... Anna Nicole Smith fails to pay for son's autopsy... Leonardo DiCaprio saved co-star's life... Jennifer Aniston invites Brad Pitt's...

By Liz | November 21, 2006; 7:54 AM ET | Comments (18)

TomKat: A Fairy Tale Wedding in Verse

Tom Cruise stands tall next to wife Katie Holmes. (HO/AFP/Getty Images) Photo Gallery: TomKat Wedding Once upon a time A bet I did lose, When Katie Holmes walked the aisle With that freakbot Tom Cruise. The bride was taken to a tower Swathed in cloth of great price. Scientology advisors on hand For any last minute advice. Did Tom vow to Give her a pan, a comb And maybe a cat? Who can pay any attention, When Posh is wearing that hat? Who wouldn't at least scoff Turn catty and dis, When they overdo Even their nuptial kiss? Now as they frolic On a honeymoon trip I'll give rest to the sarcasm Though I may sometime slip. So, Congratulations TomKat On your star-spangled wedding display. Still, the mystery remains How the groom grew two inches that day. Join me Live Online at Noon ET to talk about all the...

By Liz | November 20, 2006; 10:29 AM ET | Comments (27)

Morning Mix: Tina Fey Slams Paris Hilton

Headlines: Chris Robinson files for divorce from Kate Hudson... Some Fox affiliates won't broadcast O.J. Simpson interview... Mel Gibson named "Coldest Star in Hollywood"... Jay-Z performs seven concerts in one day... Brangelina leave India... Father of Madonna's Malawian toddler marries, expecting new baby; court postpones ruling on adoption challenge... Gillian Anderson gives birth to (100 percent human) baby boy... Rapper The Game charged with impersonating a cop... Lord of the Dance Michael Flatley released from London hospital... Peter Jackson not directing "The Hobbit." Rumor Mill: Tina Fey slams Paris Hilton... Heather Mills McCartney denies romance with personal trainer... Britney Spears parties in Vegas with Mario Lopez, wins $10,000 at blackjack table; was K-Fed partying with call girls prior to separation?... Abbie Cornish denies romance with Ryan Phillippe (second item)... Fans alarmed at scars on Lindsay Lohan's wrists; starlet loses pricy Cartier bracelet... Keira Knightley engaged. P.S. I've forgotten TomKat, you're...

By Liz | November 20, 2006; 7:51 AM ET | Comments (5)

Friday List: Elvis's Pound Cake and More Famous Food

Let's pound some cake. Thankyouverymuch. (Mark Finkenstaedt/The Post) Earlier this week, a friend and I ('sup, Francine?) were instant messaging about Thanksgiving and girding our bellies for some power-eating when she stopped the conversation by casually mentioning Elvis Presley's Favorite Pound Cake, which she proceeded described thusly: "You eat it and you feel the weight walking across the room afterwards." This triggered a memory for me: Years ago, Martha Stewart looking on in horror as Aretha Franklin concocted her Queen of Soul Ham -- complete with ginger ale, coconut, yellow mustard and an entire box of brown sugar -- on one of the now defunct Martha primetime holiday specials. So, of course I started thinking about celebrities and food and dishes endorsed by or inextricably tied to certain stars. So I started Googling and something weird happened. I noticed that many of the recipes linked to a particular celebrity...

By Liz | November 17, 2006; 10:44 AM ET | Comments (0)

Morning Mix: Mike Tyson, Male Escort

Headlines: Victim's family moves to seize O.J. Simpson's book profits... TomKat host star-studded pre-wedding dinner; Nicole Kidman sends best wishes; Italian town cashing in on wedding buzz... George Clooney says Matt Damon should be "Sexiest Man" (maybe if he loses the snakeskin suit)... Angelina Jolie's bodyguards detained in India after new incident... Shanna Moakler's advice to Paris Hilton: "Take your Valtrex"... Michael Jackson fans demand ticket refund... Etiquette school owner jumps on Borat outrage train... Grandmaster Flash honored at inaugural hip-hop awards... Brandon Routh signs on for next Superman movie... Luke Perry joins cast of upcoming HBO series "Cincinnati." Rumor Mill: Heidi Fleiss turning out Mike Tyson as male escort... Did Cameron Diaz get a nose job?... Kimberley Stewart (Rod's daughter) recovering from alcohol-induced liver disease... Naomi Campbell says she doesn't want to clean streets like Boy George... Shakira describes hometown as "big breast"... Lindsay Lohan booed at World Music...

By Liz | November 17, 2006; 8:01 AM ET | Comments (8)

TomKat Wedding: Believe the Hype

Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes and Suri Cruise in Rome on Wednesday. (AP) And so the circle of life continues to turn. Make way Britney and Kevin, we must now shove the wasteland of your dying marriage aside to make room for the pomp, circumstance and overblown hype that herald the union of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. As Celebritologists, we too have a vested interest in this marriage. We will be bold with snap judgments about Katie's dress. We'll speculate about the relative merits of her going barefoot or Tom standing on a box. We'll wonder if L. Ron Hubbard's cryogenic chamber has been shipped special to Italy to witness the commingling of Scientology royalty (like Dan Snyder and J.Lo) or if he'll only be there in spirit (like Oprah). Before we I get too carried away (because I have to tell you, I was headed for an inevitable...

By Liz | November 16, 2006; 10:43 AM ET | Comments (0)

Morning Mix: Clooney Named 'Sexiest Man Alive' (Again)

Headlines: George Clooney named "Sexiest Man Alive" again... Redskins owner Dan Snyder to attend TomKat nuptials... Emmitt Smith wins "Dancing With the Stars" competition... Michael Jackson's live comeback falters... Sacha Baron Cohen defends alter ego Borat... Jaime Pressly says she's four months pregnant... Donald Trump Jr. and wife expecting first child... Triumph (The Insult Comic Dog) made honorary member of K-9 unit... Hey Triumph, Snoop Dogg set to launch line of dog apparel... Bono close to winning battle for return of trousers... Michael Flatley (Lord of the Dance) cancels tour because of "serious illness"... Star Jones Reynolds announces new TV project. Rumor Mill: Is K-Fed totally broke? Maybe not for long if he takes porn peddler up on $100 million sex tape offer... Whatever the money situation, he should stop writing if this and (language warning!) this are what happens... Is Paris Hilton targeting Lindsay Lohan's ex?... Cameron Diaz and...

By Liz | November 16, 2006; 8:33 AM ET | Comments (0)

Sex Tape? Bring It On, K-Fed

Kevin and Britney in February 2005. (Getty Images) Maybe Kevin Federline is flailing considering the one-two punch of a tepid -- actually, downright cold -- reception for his album, "Playing With Fire," and Britney Spears's decision to kick him to the curb. Of course, we were all pretty sure he was low-rent when he glommed on to Britney, knocked her up (twice), then started rapping about all the things he bought with his allowance, but in the last week, he reached a low not seen since CHUD or maybe David Gest. First, news surfaced that Federline plans to sue for custody of his two children with Britney Spears (oddly, he never bothered to do the same for the two kids he fathered with Shar Jackson) and over the weekend British tabloid News of the World reported that Federline has a four-hour sex tape of his lovemaking with Spears, but...

By Liz | November 15, 2006; 10:45 AM ET | Comments (31)

Morning Mix: Nicole Richie Denies Gastric Bypass Rumors

Headlines: Nicole Richie denies gastric bypass rumors... Fox to air O.J. Simpson "If I Did It" interview... Romanians say Borat misled them, TMZ obtains copy of movie release (PDF)... Photos: Britney Spears visits Louisiana hometown... Ex-employee sues Naomi Campbell for verbal abuse... Christina Aquilera to guest star on "CSI: New York"... Heidi Klum releasing first single (yes, as in she's singing)... Jon Bon Jovi says it's hard being a stud... Dave Chappelle bails on comedy festival... DMX selling New York brownstone for $1.9 million. Rumor Mill: Katie Holmes spends $3,000 on wedding lingerie; Oprah's not invited, but will Brooke Shields attend?... Irish newspaper may sue Britney Spears... Reese Witherspoon says daily pressures caused split with Ryan Phillippe... Renee Zellweger calls Kenny Chesney marriage her "biggest mistake"... Ricky Martin plans to adopt a child....

By Liz | November 15, 2006; 8:28 AM ET | Comments (10)

From the desk of Oprah Winfrey...

(AP) Dear Barbara, The enclosed photo is not one of my favorite things. Why? It's not because of the satanic robe/drapery with which you've obscured your rapidly shrinking frame. It's not even because I'm afraid your proximity will somehow taint me with "View" stank. It is because you are squeezing my cheeks in a highly annoying manner. In short, don't ever touch me again. I don't care if you've interviewed Castro, no one touches O. Except maybe Gayle Stedman, but trust me, there is no photographic evidence. - Oprah p.s. Rosie is doing a fab job....

By Liz | November 14, 2006; 11:58 AM ET | Comments (0)

Morning Mix: K-Fed's Tale of the Tape

Headlines: Leonardo DiCaprio, Jay-Z and Will Ferrell named GQ Men of the Year... J.Lo named Best Dressed by Harper's Bazaar (guess they didn't see this)... Tom Cruise arrives in Rome ahead of wedding... Vegas casino nixes wax Brangelina wedding... Anna Nicole Smith looking for new Bahamas house... Malawi judge delays Madonna adoption ruling; is Madge planning to adopt baby girl?... Elton John would ban religion... Ellen Pompeo ("Grey's Anatomy") engaged... Guns N'Roses cancels concert because of no-booze-on-stage rule... Michael Jackson accuser pleads guilty to welfare fraud... Comedian Katt Williams released from jail. Rumor Mill: K-Fed says he has four-hour Britney sex tape and video of paparazzi... Denise Richards apologizes for throwing photographer's laptop off balcony... Borat punched by angry New Yorker?... Brody Jenner, Lauren Conrad ("The Hills") split... Linda Evangelista dating Hard Rock Cafe founder Peter Morton... Kanye West taking a break from music (hey, thanks man)... Ben Affleck contemplating...

By Liz | November 14, 2006; 8:44 AM ET | Comments (0)

Britney and K-Fed's Texting Transcript

It has been reported that K-Fed was notified by text message that Britney was divorcing him. While we won't comment on the um... maturity of such an action, it does make us wonder what really transpired. Luckily, we obtained the transcript, thanks to a well-placed source who prefers to go unnamed. The text messages are to the tunes of two of Britney's biggest hits. If you need a refresher, watch "Oops!.. I Did It Again" and "... Baby One More Time." Note: This transcript has been satirized for your protection. Britney: Oops! You did it again You played with my heart, Got lost in the fame, Oh Feddy Feddy Poof! You think we're involved But our marriage is dissolved You're not getting custody K-Fed: I must confess, that your thoughtlessness Is killing my sales Of America's most hated CD But those kids are mine You sneaky serpentine Writ me baby...

By | November 13, 2006; 4:16 AM ET | Comments (19)

Headlines: Purple Reigns in Vegas

Headlines: Prince opens in Vegas... Kevin Federline comes to D.C. to not promote his new CD... Grandmaster Flash honored as a Hip Hop icon... Duran Duran brings sexy back... Oscar-winner Jack Palance passes away... Now you can trade soap stars in the Fantasy Soap League... Spidey spawns a daughter... Jude Law and Sienna Miller call it quits for good (duh). Rumor Mill: Lindsay Lohan curses Paris Hilton... Did K-Fed cheat?... And he wants custody?... Is Scarlett Johansson about to be single? Monday Morning Movie: Check out the new trailer for The Simpsons Movie....

By | November 13, 2006; 1:00 AM ET | Comments (5)

Bob's Broadway Bomb

This photo from "The Times They Are A-Changin'" screams Bob Dylan, doesn't it? (Craig Schwartz/AP) Apparently Bob Dylan should stick to making music, starring in iPod commercials and writing weird screenplays. This week, word came that the Broadway musical "The Times They Are A-Changin'," conceived by "Movin' Out's" Twyla Tharp and based on Dylan's music, will close after just 28 performances. Your last chance to see this show about a traveling circus whose members dance to "Mr. Tambourine Man" and "Like a Rolling Stone" -- what, you honestly think I could make this up? -- is Nov. 19....

By Jen Chaney | November 10, 2006; 10:43 AM ET | Comments (0)

Headlines: Sad News for Pamela Anderson

Headlines: Pamela Anderson reportedly confirms her miscarriage... No Catholic ceremony for TomKat?... Shar Jackson speaks, swears K-Fed is a "nice guy"; meanwhile, Britney is heading to Miami and Mr. Nice Guy, as reported in the Going Out Gurus blog, is en route to Platinum in Washington, D.C. ... "Borat" has been banned in Russia; and from the department of you-knew-this-was-coming, a lawsuit against the makers of "Borat" has been filed by two anonymous fraternity guys; read the text of the suit here... Christie Brinkley and Peter Cook meet in court... Denise Richards + paparazzi = old women getting hit by laptops?... You probably haven't been watching "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip". Now you can not watch for an entire season. Rumor Mill: Luke Wilson and Kate Beckinsale feud on set of new movie... Madonna ruins Brangelina adoption plans... Ryan Phillippe dumps PR spin doctor... Did Jennifer Aniston dump Vince...

By Jen Chaney | November 10, 2006; 7:30 AM ET | Comments (0)

Long Weekend

I'm taking a four-day weekend off to spend some time away from the keyboard. In my absence, Jen Chaney (who you know from the weekly "Lost" analysis) and Frank Thomason (who subbed back in July) will be running the ship. See you on Tuesday! -- Liz...

By Liz | November 9, 2006; 11:58 PM ET | Comments (0)

'Lost' Fall Finale: Dueling Analyses

Sawyer (Josh Holloway) getting all cagey. (2006 American Broadcasting Companies, Inc.) Jen: May I start out by saying, holy &!@#, how are we supposed to wait until February -- date of next episode 02/07/2007; figure out the numerology there -- to find out what happens next? So much in tonight's episode -- sex, lies, surgical shenanigans. I'm not sure where to begin. Liz: In case you missed it, BREAKING NEWS tickers are incredibly annoying during a frigging "fall finale." I'm as much of a news junkie as the next girl, but not when Sawyer is macking on Kate. I seriously need to have my head examined. Maybe before the next election. I'll put it on my to-do list. Anyway, last week's flashbacks fleshing out Mr. Eko's story were an intrinsic part of wrapping up his storyline. They fit in perfectly with the parallel island story and worked on so...

By Liz | November 9, 2006; 10:43 AM ET | Comments (87)

Morning Mix: K-Fed Seeks Custody of Children

Headlines: Kevin Federline seeks custody of children; Britney reunites with fired manager; Chicago venue slashes K-Fed concert ticket price to $2.25... Reese Witherspoon officially files for divorce; Ryan Phillippe denies infidelity led to split... Lindsay Lohan involved in fender bender with paparazzi... Lee Ann Womack seeks protection from stalker... Daniel Craig's daughter approves of Bond performance... Wayne Newton injured on "Las Vegas" set... Bill Cosby settles lawsuit in assault case... Daniel Baldwin arrested for alleged car theft. Rumor Mill: Jessica Simpson accidentally hires male escort... Brangelina not targeted by al Qaeda... Nicole Kidman visits husband Keith Urban at rehab center; National Enquirer (I know, I know -- that's why this is the rumor mill) claims she's pregnant... Jay-Z planning one-day eight-city tour... Joely Richardson quits "Nip/Tuck" to care for sick daughter... Russell Crowe replaces bad band name with worse one... Freddy Mercury biopic in the works. P.S. A new Web...

By Liz | November 9, 2006; 8:33 AM ET | Comments (0)

Morning Mix: R.I.P. Spederline Edition

Take a good look. You may not see this man again for a very long time. (AP) In Case Y'all Missed It: Late yesterday afternoon, Britney Spears totally distracted us from the midterm elections by filing for divorce from Kevin Federline. What happened? Us Weekly claims there was a final blowout last week, though Life & Style Weekly reports that Brit merely beat Kev to the punch. Still, the news hasn't stopped Britney from hitting the town in New York and making an unscheduled stop at "The Late Show With David Letterman." What will K-Fed do now? According to Best Week Ever, he'll lick his wounds with $30,000 a month (for a while) while trying to decipher Britney's divorce petition. Rest assured, The Washington Post knows the fans are the real victims here, so pop "...Baby One More Time" in the CD player and reminisce with a Britney/K-Fed timeline...

By Liz | November 8, 2006; 8:33 AM ET | Comments (0)

Britney and K-Fed, a Timeline

A quick guide to the Spears-Federline ups and downs over the past two years. Spears performs in 2004. (AP) Jan. 3, 2004: Britney Spears marries childhood pal Jason Alexander in a late-night Las Vegas ceremony. An annulment was granted two days later. May 2004: Spears admits she's dating former back-up dancer Kevin Federline. June 27, 2004: Spears reportedly pays for her own five-karat engagement ring. [Source] Sept. 18, 2004: Spears and Federline marry in "secret ceremony" in California. Guests dine on chicken wings, ribs, mini cheeseburgers, crab cakes and Waldorf salad. The couple honeymoons in Louisiana and Fiji. Spring 2005: Reality show "Britney and Kevin: Chaotic," chronicling Spears's and Federline's pre-marriage romance while touring in 2004, airs on UPN. Sept. 14, 2005: Spears gives birth to son Sean Preston. Britney and K-Fed in February 2006. (AP) Feb. 2006: Britney is photographed driving with baby Sean Preston on her lap. March...

By Liz | November 7, 2006; 5:34 PM ET | Comments (0)

Britney Spears Files for Divorce

Britney and K-Fed in 2004. (Getty Images) It's official: Britney Spears has filed for divorce from Kevin Federline just two years and two babies after the two tied the knot in September 2004. The date of separation was listed as yesterday on court filings and Us Weekly reports Spears has already hired divorce attorney Laura Wasser, "whose client roster includes Angelina Jolie, Nick Lachey and Kiefer Sutherland." Spears and Federline have two children, Sean Preston, 1, and Jayden James, born Sept. 12. TMZ.com has the official documents (PDF) and quotes sources as saying the couple has an "iron-clad" pre-nup. Coincidentally, a newly-svelte Spears made a surprise visit to David Letterman last night. Still no update at either Spears's or Federline's official Web sites, but we're watching. So, was this the most predictable break up ever?...

By Liz | November 7, 2006; 4:49 PM ET | Comments (0)

Celebritology 101: When Egos Attack

A certain amount of ego is required to be successful in the entertainment world -- a certain amount of self-aggrandizement is not only expected, but necessary to get out your brand: you. But somewhere between the in-your-grill braggadocio of professional wrestlers and self-deprecating shtick of Woody Allen and Albert Brooks, one should strive to strike a happy balance between egomaniac and wallpaper. If only this lesson had been available last week, before Kanye West stormed the stage when his "Touch the Sky" failed to win best video at the European MTV Awards. West grabbed the mike and proceeded to hold forth about why he should've won -- his video cost $1 million and starred Pamela Anderson. But wait: On Monday, "sources" told the New York Post that West's hissy fit was a "prank" designed to spoof his cocky image. Do you think this man is joking? I'm not buying it....

By Liz | November 7, 2006; 10:43 AM ET | Comments (0)

Daily Mix: Snoop Dogg Surrenders to Police

Headlines: Snoop Dogg surrenders to police for weapons charge... Matthew McConaughey gets his groove on at 37th birthday party... Kenny Chesney takes top CMA award... Kirstie Alley sports a bikini on "Oprah" (video)... Christopher Walken to play Ozzy Osbourne in Motley Crue movie... Courtney Love terrorizes fans at book signing... Judge dismisses Britney Spears's libel suit... K-Fed parties hard in New York, without Britney; 300 fans turn up for concert... Helen Mirren voted world's sexiest older woman... Imelda Marcos launching line of accessories... Actor Scott Foley engaged... Singer Marianne Faithfull recovers from breast cancer... Roman Polanski to appear in "Rush Hour 3"... Eric Clapton love letter to be auctioned... Fresh probe urged in death of Rolling Stone Brian Jones... Man arrested in death of Adrienne Shelly... "American Idol" to return Jan. 16. Rumor Mill: Italian newspaper reports on TomKat wedding site, double ceremonies... Rod Stewart approves of daughter's breast implants......

By Liz | November 7, 2006; 8:43 AM ET | Comments (0)

Comment Box: Secrets of Scientology Weddings

"Traditional" Scientology ceremony? What tradition? It's a fictional "belief system" whose sole purpose is to grub as much money as possible. Maybe they could have the traditional shakedown of everyone at the wedding, followed by the traditional threatening and blackmail of the guests who try to leave early. -- Skeptic comments on Morning Mix: Flavor Flav Expecting Seventh Child Tom and Katie share a kiss in June 2005. (Reuters) Having a passing interest in the subject myself, I've already devoted some time to finding out what exactly makes a wedding ceremony unique to Scientology. Despite all outward appearances, it has nothing to do with Giorgio Armani, Mussolini or John Travolta's private Boeing 707. A rather well-publicized example will take place on Nov. 18, though, when Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes tie the knot in Italy. The official Scientology Web site contains this rather vague description of the wedding celebration: Scientology...

By Liz | November 6, 2006; 10:44 AM ET | Comments (0)

Morning Mix: Neil Patrick Harris: 'I'm Gay'

Headlines: Neil Patrick Harris says he's gay; blogger calls on other closeted gay celebs to come out... Laura Bush celebrates 60th birthday... Kanye West defines "sore loser" at MTV Europe Awards... Fergie (the duchess, not the Black Eyed Pea) launches jewelry line... Inside Shanna Moakler's divorce party... "Borat" tops weekend box office; real-life Borat (remember him?) wants cut of profits; was Pam Anderson in on the joke? Rumor Mill: Report: Chris Rock to divorce... Hilary Duff stalker arrested... Britney Spears living at hotel after K-Fed outburst... David Spade and Heather Locklear back together?... Madonna designing safari-themed bedroom for baby David... Juliette Lewis thinks she'd be a good Bond Girl... "Dirty Dancing" remake in the works?... George Lucas to give up movie-making... Flavor Flav looking for a "good girl." Note: Response to the pop-up link format was overwhelmingly positive. So until a more elegant solution presents itself, we will pop....

By Liz | November 6, 2006; 8:31 AM ET | Comments (0)

Anna Nicole Smith, Curiouser and Curiouser

"Anna Nicole, you're so outrageous." Anna Nicole Smith, daughter Dannielyn Hope, Howard K. Stern and "Entertainment Tonight" co-host Mark Steines. (AP) Or so we were told four years ago when the stripper/model/Playboy playmate helped to establish the celeb-reality genre with trainwreck-on-film "The Anna Nicole Show." Antics that left us alternately entertained and confused at the time seem tame compared to Smith's current reality. To put it bluntly: we hadn't seen anything yet. The maelstrom that is Smith's life has only continued to pick up steam since the September birth of her daughter and nearly simultaneous death of her 20-year-old son. A splashy, exclusive interview that aired last night on "Entertainment Tonight" was nothing short of surreal, with Smith and lawyer Howard K. Stern talking about their love and plans for a life together with baby Dannielyn. Although Smith did cry and lament the death of son Daniel, the interview only...

By Liz | November 3, 2006; 10:43 AM ET | Comments (7)

Morning Mix: Snipes Reaches Tax Settlement - Report

Note: We're trying something new today. Links you click in the Morning Mix should now pop up in a new window. Like it? Hate it? Leave a comment. Headlines: Shakira wins four Latin Grammy Awards... Justin Timberlake sweeps MTV Europe Awards... Julia Roberts to return to film in "Friday Night Knitting Club"... Russell Crowe criticizes U.S. legal system... Kate Winslet says she was teased about her weight... Shanna Moakler throws "divorce party"... Mel Gibson honored by Latino business group... Robert DeNiro, 50 Cent to co-star in Katrina thriller... "SNL's" Maya Rudolph sues over bedbugs in apartment... Snoop Dogg charged with possession of deadly weapon... Actress Adrienne Shelly found dead in New York office. Rumor Mill: Wesley Snipes reaches settlement on tax charges... Lindsay Lohan says sobriety chip was in support of friend... Nicole Richie checks out of rehab to shop... Simon Cowell to launch line of grooming products... Sharon Stone...

By Liz | November 3, 2006; 8:44 AM ET | Comments (45)

Tom Cruise, Studio Honcho

And here I thought Tom Cruise was busy planning his impending wedding. Proving that no mission is impossible, it was announced today that Cruise and producing partner Paula Wagner will run United Artists studio. The duo apparently secured a controlling interest in the MGM division and will make up to four movies a year. As one colleague jokingly put it, "Battleship Earth 2!" For more details see the wires and the official press release. Take that, Sumner Redstone....

By Liz | November 2, 2006; 4:14 PM ET | Comments (3)

'Lost' Episode 5 Dueling Analyses

washingtonpost.com movies editor Jen Chaney and I messaged last night into the wee hours of the morning about the penultimate episode of the "Lost" fall season. ***SPOILER ALERT*** If you haven't yet watched Wednesday's episode, please watch online before reading what follows. Mr. Eko (Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje). (Photo courtesy ABC) Jen: This is apropos of nothing, but I feel compelled to mention this before we start discussing tonight's episode. Remember how a couple of weeks ago I mentioned something about Scientology? Since then, I've thought about more connections between "Lost" and L. Ron Hubbard, or at least Tom Cruise. 1. Crazy Claire-kidnapper Ethan? Played by Tom Cruise's cousin. 2. J.J. Abrams, "Lost" co-creator? Directed "Mission: Impossible III." 3. Most interestingly of all: At the end of the closing credits for "M:i:III," there is a thank you to... the Hanso Foundation. I realize this is probably just a funny Abrams inside joke,...

By Liz | November 2, 2006; 10:44 AM ET | Comments (157)

Morning Mix: Flavor Flav Expecting Seventh Child

Headlines: Flavor Flav expecting seventh child (More Flav from today's Post: Love Him, Or Leave Him)... Brad Pitt mad about "unauthorized" Vanity Fair cover... More drugs found in Daniel Smith's system... Wesley Snipes's "accomplice" arrested in Panama... Madonna may adopt more children... Novelist William Styron dies at 81... New York restaurant pays $50K for Stephen Colbert portrait... DMX launching line of clothing... Lisa Rinna and Harry Hamlin to take on "Chicago" roles... "Matrix" creators sign on for "Speed Racer"... Harold and Kumar to return in sequel... Rumor Mill: No prenup for Reese Witherspoon, Ryan Phillippe... Brangelina threatened by al Qaeda... TomKat planning traditional Scientology ceremony?... Nicole Richie's cat leaps from tenth floor of apartment building... K-Fed booed during Halloween performance... Publicist denies reports that Neil Patrick Harris is gay... Victoria Beckham's hair extensions impeded sex with Becks... Jessica Simpson in talks to remake "Working Girl"... David Hasselhoff to join Vegas...

By Liz | November 2, 2006; 8:43 AM ET | Comments (18)

K-Fed, for the True Connoisseur

Why is this man smiling? (AP) Can we get a little love for K-Fed? Not only has he been busy single-handedly keeping California populated and proving that fatherhood doesn't have to stop you from partying all night in Vegas, he's also been busy developing his acting career and, yesterday, releasing his very first CD, "Playing With Fire." Thing is, almost at precisely the same moment -- I know because I timed it with two stopwatches -- his CD was hitting store shelves, concert promoters were canceling his shows due to poor ticket sales. And when I say "concert," I mean stints at small nightclubs, not arenas. To be fair, the shows in question are in the backwaters of Cleveland and New York where we know people do not like "sincere urban storytelling" and are forcibly locked in their homes after 7 p.m. I'm not sure how long it takes...

By Liz | November 1, 2006; 10:43 AM ET | Comments (24)

Morning Mix: Madonna Calls Adoption Uproar Racist

Headlines: Madonna says she offered to leave child with father, give support; calls uproar over adoption racist; was child already promised to another family?... Aid group head denies Angelina Jolie's allegations of misappropriated funds... Anna Nicole Smith treated for pneumonia; Larry Birkhead accuses Smith of dyeing infant's hair... Concertgoer throws drink at Barbra Streisand... Sandra Bullock honored for "undercover activism"... Courtney Love says she dropped acid at age four... Alec Baldwin wants off documentary about Governator... Bob Barker retiring after 35 years of "The Price is Right"... Rolling Stones cancel more shows... Eddie Izzard quits "24" after 24 hours. Rumor Mill: Page Six says Ryan Phillippe's wandering eye ended marriage to Witherspoon... Prince to take up residence, launch regular show at Vegas hotel... Clint Eastwood slams Paris Hilton... Ivanka Trump dating Topher Grace?... Friends worried about Ivana's boozing... Matthew Perry dating "The Class's" Lizzy Caplan?... Jermaine Dupri obsessed with shoes...

By Liz | November 1, 2006; 8:44 AM ET | Comments (7)

 
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