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Posted at 10:43 AM ET, 01/ 2/2007

A Desperate K-Fed Kicks Off 2007

By Liz Kelly

I was a little worried about my first day back on the blog. I've been out of touch for a week -- that's like a decade in celebrity time -- and it's a brand new year. Would 2007 feel the same as 2006? Would I be thrown into some strange, altered entertainment landscape and have to get my bearings all over again? Would the subjects of so many outrageously good headlines in 2006 suddenly get their acts together, forcing me to write about something else?


Kevin Federline, restoring my faith in celebrity news. (AP)

Then last night, while contemplating how to hijack White House Briefing, the answer hit me. Or, rather, it hit Kevin Federline. Don't worry, the hit was a fake, courtesy of professional wrestler John Cena. See, Federline (who now says he doesn't want to be called "K-Fed") somehow found the time in his busy schedule to fit in a return visit to Monday night's WWE Raw and this trainwreck was, of course, broadcast on cable TV and I, of course, parked myself on the couch to watch.

Maybe it was at the beginning when a packed arena booed as Federline lip-synched his way into the ring or -- no -- maybe it was when he was announced as "celebrated recording artist, dancer par excellence and all around entertainment mogul" or -- no, no -- maybe it was watching him fail at even WWE's level of acting chops or -- wait -- it had to be watching him in a post-bout contrived moment strutting pimp-like into a dressing room escorted by six-pack of booty girls.

In any case, the epiphany came at some point: these people will never let us down. And by these people I mean celebrities. No matter how many publicists, handlers, stylists and generic flunkies -- they seem to be genetically hardwired to make bad decisions. We're scarcely two days into 2007 and K-Fed (yeah, that's right, K-FED) is fighting for even a D-list berth, Britney Spears is falling asleep in nightclubs and Paris Hilton is walking out on $8 restaurant tabs.

It's gonna be a good year. I guess White House Briefing is safe in Froomkin's hands.

By Liz Kelly  | January 2, 2007; 10:43 AM ET
Categories:  Britney Spears, Celebrities  
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Comments

pro rasslin'. the last refuge of those damned to anonymity. if you can't be entertaining there.....

Posted by: b | January 2, 2007 11:25 AM | Report abuse

K-Fed next appearance will be as Vanilla Ice on a reenactment episode on "E: True Hollywood Story".

Posted by: Lisa | January 2, 2007 11:57 AM | Report abuse

Ahhh it's so nice to have my Celebritolgy back. These past few weeks have been very dark and bleak without juicy tid-bits to read at work.
Liz, as long as folks like K-fed, Paris, Brit-Brit and Lindsay are alive your job is secure. (And lets not forget the always entertaining Olsen twins ... who both need to eat something.)

Posted by: Melissa | January 2, 2007 12:24 PM | Report abuse

but did you HAVE to have a close-up picture of k-fed? Geez...

Posted by: i'm getting too old for this I guess | January 2, 2007 12:56 PM | Report abuse

I always thought the last refuge of those damned to anonymity was The Surreal Life?

Posted by: Bored @ work | January 2, 2007 1:17 PM | Report abuse

Who is the more foolish? The fool? Or the one who follows the fool?

Posted by: Anonymous | January 2, 2007 1:26 PM | Report abuse

no that would be any reality show on VH1...

Posted by: chris | January 2, 2007 2:13 PM | Report abuse

Why even bother writing about the MSM garbage on TV, Liz?

Why talk about them?
Why think about them?
Why bother with them at all?

You would do America a tremendous service if you started highlighting talented, up and coming, non-pop, and respectable artists, actors, and musicians.

I assure you there are plenty of worthy entertainers bthat you could find even on "myspace".

Just say no to Clear Channel, Premier, and most of all... TV.

Posted by: Long Beach, CA | January 2, 2007 5:28 PM | Report abuse

Why even bother writing about the MSM garbage on TV, Liz?

Why talk about them?
Why think about them?
Why bother with them at all?

You would do America a tremendous service if you started highlighting talented, up and coming, non-pop, and respectable artists, actors, and musicians.

I assure you there are plenty of worthy entertainers bthat you could find even on "myspace".

Just say no to Clear Channel, Premier, and most of all... TV.

Posted by: Long Beach, CA | January 2, 2007 5:28 PM | Report abuse

Why even bother writing about the MSM garbage on TV, Liz?

Why talk about them?
Why think about them?
Why bother with them at all?

You would do America a tremendous service if you started highlighting talented, up and coming, non-pop, and respectable artists, actors, and musicians.

I assure you there are plenty of worthy entertainers bthat you could find even on "myspace".

Just say no to Clear Channel, Premier, and most of all... TV.

Posted by: Long Beach, CA | January 2, 2007 5:28 PM | Report abuse

K-FED>>>What a weasel-face! How could Brit do it!
As for falling asleep at the club, either she did the right thing and stayed up taking care of her babies, or she just got as bored with herself as the rest of us are...hope she does the right thing and gets her talent groove back. She is just so influential on young girls, wish she would take this role seriously.
Who is the "Worthy Entertainer" these days, Long Beach.....YOU?

Posted by: Barb | January 2, 2007 6:22 PM | Report abuse

Three words: ugh. Oh wait, that's only one word.

Posted by: Phil | January 2, 2007 7:39 PM | Report abuse

W/B Liz,

I realize you are trying to get back into the swing of things, but please, please, please warn us next time there is a K-Fed close-up. I feel dirty and need to shower.

Posted by: K.C. | January 3, 2007 2:44 PM | Report abuse

The comments to this entry are closed.

 
 
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