A Very Special Goodbye: TV Exits

Parting is such sweet sorrow, yet this ever-changing world in which we live in demands that we learn to say goodbye to our real friends -- the ones who turn out for us every week on TV -- far too often. With the explosion of reality TV shows, we are traumatized weekly by abrupt adieus. We hardly had time to clear a corner of our crowded hearts for adorable pixie Sanjaya Malakar before he was brutally excised from "American Idol" and condemned to the wraith-like fate of other reality show also-rans. All that remains is his name (which has taken on a Borat-like shorthand meaning "nerdy, gawky, fearless teen, a bit cooler than Napoleon Dynamite, but not so hip as to alienate grandparents") and a reputation as "the guy with the hair."


Heather Mills and 'Dancing' partner Jonathan Roberts. (AP)

Last night it was Heather Mills -- the woman who defied generations of Beatle-worship to lob accusations of abuse at Paul McCartney and lately crossed the pond armed only with a false leg to take on the best and brightest of America's D-list in a weekly dance-off. Last night, Mills came prepared for the worst with a farewell speech handily stashed in her bra; she thanked partner Jonathan Roberts and the show's crew for their part in the competition. All too soon, Mills will fade from our Yank psyche, only to reemerge in sporadic reports about her divorce from Sir Paul. She will forever be remembered as "the one with the fake leg and the racy pix."

Even curmudgeonly old fix-it show hosts aren't immune from the pixelated grim reaper. CBS has unceremoniously dumped Bob Vila's home improvement show, citing some kind of nonsense about "bad ratings." (For those of you born after 1979, think of Vila as a non-hot, non-young Ty Pennington) who can probably claim much credit for birthing the DIY home improvement show genre. Vila's strength was his take-no-prisoners approach to project management which taught me at an early age that being a know-it-all jerk can take you pretty far in this world (certainly much further than that block of wood Norm Abram). Shockingly, Vila will forever be remembered as "the guy with the beard."

And, as was announced this morning, Rosie O'Donnell plans to exit "The View" in June -- leaving the coffee klatch leaning dangerously in the direction of ultra-right wing Barbie Doll Elizabeth Hasselbeck. O'Donnell's storied feuds -- with Donald Trump, Kelly Ripa, Hasselbeck and pretty much anyone else in sight -- made for some surreal daytime TV. Luckily, she'll forever be remembered -- and accessible -- as "the one with the wacky blog."

The vacuum left by Sanjaya, Heather, Bob and Rosie will be filled, and quickly. But how long will it be, I ask you, until we are asked to say goodbye again? Next week? Cool.

By Liz |  April 25, 2007; 10:43 AM ET  | Category:  TV
Previous: Morning Mix: Rosie O'Donnell -- Adieu to 'The View'? | Next: Timeline: A Brief Compendium of Rosie Quotes

 
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Rosie is leaving the "View"?

Does that mean the Donald wins?

Posted by: SoMD | April 25, 2007 11:12 AM

Shakespeare *and* McCartney in the first sentence - well done, Liz!

And many, many, many thanks for not including a Loverboy lyric anywhere in there.

Posted by: byoolin | April 25, 2007 11:14 AM

I don't quite understand the bile aimed at Bob Vila. I agree he seems a little full of himself, but still, fairly harmless.

Posted by: Saint Paul | April 25, 2007 11:45 AM

I don't really fancy either,Bob or Ty but I've never seen Bob with a hammer and nail in hand. Or have I not watched his show enough? There is another guy on WETA, he's not bad but I think he might the block o wood Liz referred to.

Does anyone take that Hasselbeck chick seriously? She always seemed like filler to me.

Posted by: petal | April 25, 2007 11:52 AM

Liz,
I think you could do a much more careful analysis of Bob Vila. Bob Vila actually did nothing on This Old House, or that CBS show he started. In this sense, he was the prototypical suburban man, who feels some sort of compulsion to actually acquire some manual skills, but who is so blatantly frightened and awkward that actual carpenters, electricians, and the like can just do their best to restrain their condenscion--"That's right Bob, turning off the power befor you change an outlet (obviously, you moron) is a good idea." In that way, every urban/suburban man could identify with him, as he stood back, trying to save face as the team of contractors facilly completed tasks that once marked a man's usefulness to his household and community. Yuppy men felt not quite so wimpy when they wore a beard and flannel and hung around power tools.

Posted by: bkp | April 25, 2007 12:03 PM

I bewt Babwa mawde suwre the Wrosie's contrawct was not renewed.

Good Wriddance, Wrosie!

Posted by: Don Trump | April 25, 2007 12:22 PM

How will they send off Rosie? I'm hoping maybe she can swing out of the studio on her depression sling.

Posted by: 23112 | April 25, 2007 12:31 PM

bkp,

Why the hostility? Am I supposed to feel ashamed for not having those skills in the first place or for attempting to acquire them? Move past the hatred. Embrace the Vila.

Posted by: Prototypical Suburban Male | April 25, 2007 12:33 PM

No one has ever accused either Behar or Walters of being conservative. How can O'Donnell leaving tilt the show towards Hasselbeck? That comment makes no sense whatsoever.

Posted by: Dolores | April 25, 2007 12:37 PM

Wait a minute, now. I now that Bob Vila's recent TV appearances have had him act the host instead of the worker, but on the original This Old House (way back when) he was right in there doing the hard work. Bob was quite handy back in the day.

Posted by: SN - a long-time DIY watcher | April 25, 2007 12:37 PM

Wait a minute, now. I know that Bob Vila's recent TV appearances have had him act the host instead of the worker, but on the original This Old House (way back when) he was right in there doing the hard work. Bob was quite handy back in the day.

Posted by: SN - a long-time DIY watcher | April 25, 2007 12:38 PM

Bob's been cancelled, but Norm still powers along, so can't say that's Bob gone further. Besides, Norm has always been at the top of my list of men I'd want to be stranded with on a desert island. Good looks and sex won't last, but a well-built tiki hut....

Posted by: Gran | April 25, 2007 12:44 PM

I for one am glad that Rosie is leaving. I don't agree with The Donald though and think he is a mean man that should learn to keep his mouth shut. He has that ego thing going. I didn't like the fact that The View turned into Rosie's show instead of 5 women. I liked the discussions that they used to have...she would tend to talk over everyone and drown them out. She also talks too loud..............

Posted by: Charmin | April 25, 2007 1:12 PM

Rosie only had a 9 month contract, so what's the big deal?
She did her job and is leaving.

Posted by: barb | April 25, 2007 1:21 PM

How can you refer to Norm Abrams as a block of wood? The man is good with his hands, good with power tools, clean, and intelligent. I think he's got sex appeal (and you would never have to set foot in a furniture store again!). He's much sexier than Bob!

Posted by: sunny sd | April 25, 2007 1:24 PM

Thank you for the kind words.

Posted by: Bob Vila | April 25, 2007 1:34 PM

If Don Imus had said some of the things Rosie said he'd have been gone ages ago. Heck, he may have said those things as far as I know, I wasn't an Imus watcher.

I used to love Rosie's talk show, back before she went nuts.

I'm w/barb, she had a contract, met it & didn't renew.

Posted by: Bored @ work | April 25, 2007 1:38 PM

Napoleon Dynamite was MUCH cooler than Sanjaya -- if only because of the Vote for Pedro shirts.

Posted by: Ryan | April 25, 2007 1:40 PM

Good idea, 32112! Rosie should swing out of the view on her depression sling - it will make a memorable exit. Let's hope they pick a less combative replacement.

Posted by: tina | April 25, 2007 1:49 PM

I wish "barb" wouldn't use my screen name. Get your own. I'm changing mine. What is this, web stalking?

Posted by: Barb | April 25, 2007 1:59 PM

Rosie gone? Good. One more hatemonger / straightophobe gone. Why is it that anyone she disagrees with is automatically a "homophobe" or "fatophobe"? Because that's what uneducated people do that can't make an educated stand on something. Btw "Rev" Al and "Rev" Jessie have yet to appologise to those white devils at Duke. One of the first things they screamed was "racest". Again...uneducated!

Posted by: Chris in Colorado | April 25, 2007 2:19 PM

I believe that Bob Vila was canned from his first show because the upper management found out he was taking kick-backs from Sears (whom I think now sponsor his new show). Since that program aired on PBS is was considered wrong and out he went.

Posted by: DC DIYer (sort of) | April 25, 2007 2:37 PM

I'm right with you Chris on everything you wrote. Rosie is a foul-mouthed,hypocrite, if anyone has ever seen her old stand up routine she was not politically correct by any means. I'm not sure if anyone caught it but the day Anna Nicole died just hours before Rosie stated she would be fine if she never heard another word out of Anna Nicole's mouth again. Granted, she didn't know that Anna had died but still there are somethings you just don't say. She vies daily for quotes in the shut your mouth column.

Posted by: Sharon | April 25, 2007 2:49 PM

I like Sanjaya he makes what is called entertainment. Is harmless enough and the young girls seem to like him. What I noticed about me was that I was smiling and enjoying the moment while he was performing. I said to my wife it is like when a hummingbird comes to our feeder and we are right there in the lawn chair a few feet away and feel good and glad we were there for that moment I am glad for the moments he gave me.

Posted by: RL5560 | April 25, 2007 2:51 PM

Sanjaya as a hummingbird? Aww, what an analogy, that's so, so... nauseating.

Posted by: Cubeland, MD | April 25, 2007 3:05 PM

No, the snark regarding Vila is correct, he was egomaniacal and despite a lack of any discernible talent on the show, managed to steamroll right over the "nobodies" who actually did the work. Bob was famous for cutting people off mid-sentence to repeat what they'd just said as if it were his own thought, and had an unerring flair for the obvious, "I see you're using a hammer to drive in that nail" and dead-on insights such as "Yellow is a much warmer color than white". He also seemed vaguely irritated on each show which is bewildering considering he didn't sully his hands much. I remember one carpenter actually cut off part of his ring finger but was on the next week anyway, while Bob walked around with his hands on his hips, producing zip. I always eagerly awaited the end of the show when Bob would close with an uber-affected pronunciation of his name- "I'm Bob VEEEEE-laah!"

Posted by: whataboutbob | April 25, 2007 3:14 PM

Lady McCartney can waltz right into the next chapter of her life without missing a beat or launching a limb airborne- there's got to be a porn website somewhere for those with a fetish for middle-aged amputees who forced a Beatle to dye his hair and get a bad facejob. If not, there should be.

Posted by: stumpythegolddigger | April 25, 2007 3:45 PM

Napolean Dynamite is cooler than Sanjaya for a host of reasons but mainly because he's a better dancer!

Posted by: methinks | April 25, 2007 3:47 PM

I think Bob Vila got canned because of the way he pronounced his own name. I can't even spell it phonetically, but he always said the second part of VILA like BLEAH minus the "b."

Is that show HOMETIME still on? The nebbish-looking yuppie dude who had a different woman partner every time you tuned in? He made Bob Vila look like Tom Brady.

Finally, Liz, I sense a possible Friday list: BEST AND WORST EXITS IN TV HISTORY.

Posted by: Margo | April 25, 2007 3:56 PM

Hey BKP,

Bob Villa may have come off like an average Joe but he happens to be a very talented finish carpenter who owns/owned his own business for many years successfully I may add, you idiot!

Posted by: Steph | April 25, 2007 4:09 PM

Bob Vila always reminded me of Richard Karn on Home Improvement. I always thought Karn could fill in for Vila as his understudy.

Posted by: Ellen | April 25, 2007 4:21 PM

Finally Rosie is gone. Hopefully they will replace her with someone who is of Meredith Viera's ilk.

Posted by: Anne | April 25, 2007 11:34 PM

I believe that Rosie's exit will have to be facilitated not by her depression sling but by a frontloader, hopefully a rusty one. In the spirit of multi-tasking, this will enable us to lance the boil she's been on Babs' arse while giving Rosie tetanus which will weld her ample jaws shut.

Posted by: Bob Crane | April 26, 2007 9:09 AM

Liz, your comments about Norm Abram wound me deeply. I make time every Saturday to watch New Yankee Workshop and This Old House. Not only is he incredibly good at what he does, he actually has a knack for explaining it to the viewer.

Plus, he's just an average guy who happens to have a TV show. A great respite from our more flamboyant celebs, I have to say.

Carry on!

Posted by: tamerlane | April 26, 2007 11:05 AM

Bob Vila is not a carpenter, let alone a finish carpenter nor is he a woodworker. Even his wife, Diana Barrett said, "Vila is not a
fix-it person".(source: The Detroit News, 10/09/1998) Vila is nothing more then a pithman for Sears and a actor for the TV shows.

Posted by: David | April 26, 2007 1:03 PM

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