The must- bookmark blog for your daily dose of celeb- centric news, irreverent analysis and the best celeb-tracking community on the Web.
RSS Feed
Signs of the Brit-Pocalypse
For those of you who didn't vote for Britney Spears as the biggest celebrity train wreck in this year's Lizzies, well, I hate to burst your bubble, but Spears is totally crouched and ready to spring into a big ol' belly flop off the sanity diving board yet again.
Signs of an impending Brit-pocalypse are lining up like overemphasized clues in a summer slasher flick.
Portent No. 1: The blond bimbo bites it.
Britney dyed her hair black over the weekend, emerging for the waiting paparazzi looking like a countrified Elvira in hot pants. What's worse, Brit did the dye job herself and reportedly spilled the black dye all over her face.
Portent No. 2: More skin = impending doom
Following the typical horror equation, Britney's see-through top and bra-baring paparazzi show can mean only that the little devil sitting on Brit's right shoulder has like totally knocked out the little angel sitting on the left side. Expect random acts of insanity.
Portent No. 3: Cryptic messages
Brit uses her Web site to send coded messages to her minions. This weekend, she updated with these nonsensical statements aimed at her mother: "You'll never see it my way because you're not me" and "Mother to grandmother, and my my, you're grand." Chilling.
Portent No. 4: Plague of Paparazzi
Photos of Britney (Warning: not safe for work) in various states of dishevelment are replicating like locusts. Considering Britney's propensity for going totally batty for the cameras, no one wants to miss what could be the photo op of the summer. And, since she's recently returned to clubbing with a vengeance, opportunity abounds.
Don't say you weren't warned.
By Liz |
June 27, 2007; 10:43 AM ET
| Category:
Britney Spears
,
Celebrities
Previous: Morning Mix: Paris Headlines. Deal With It. |
Next: Morning Mix: Paris's Interview -- Not So 'Hot'
» Share Tips and Submissions
Posted by: Bogota | June 27, 2007 11:14 AM
I picked her for the Lizzies. I think she's what is referred to as a sure thing.
Britney has made enough money by now to hire a ghost writer. If you're going to put messages on your website at least have them make sense.
Posted by: petal | June 27, 2007 11:26 AM
I believe translate.google.com has a Britney-to-English option.
Posted by: byoolin | June 27, 2007 11:40 AM
Actually byoolin the google translator only works for languages that originate on this planet.
Posted by: SoMD | June 27, 2007 11:50 AM
I just can't believe there hasn't been a sex tape yet. Maybe she's saving that for when she releases her next album.
Posted by: Tdot | June 27, 2007 11:52 AM
isn't Britney's "hair" really just a weave? Instead of dying it, why doesn't she just get it redone in a different shade?
Posted by: yikes | June 27, 2007 11:53 AM
there was a sex tape--there was some big hoohah about it around the time of the divorce, wasn't there? But it never was revealed...(lucky us)
Posted by: Anonymous | June 27, 2007 11:59 AM
there was a sex tape--there was some big hoohah about it around the time of the divorce, wasn't there? But it never was revealed...(lucky us)
Posted by: Anonymous | June 27, 2007 11:59 AM
yikes has a point. No way Britney's hair has grown that long in such a short period of time. So, she's either dying a wig or extensions.
Posted by: jlr | June 27, 2007 12:02 PM
A sex tape featuring Britney's big hoohah. You'd think we'd remember that.
Posted by: byoolin | June 27, 2007 12:18 PM
Maybe she's trying to be frugal and dye the wig or weave because they cost too much to replace.
Shhhhhhh, on the sex tape. We don't know how many times it's safe to mention it before one pops up.
Posted by: petal | June 27, 2007 12:54 PM
Didn't someone explain to Britney that her she was extension or do her friends just let her do dumb things so they can laugh behind her back.
Posted by: Lisa1 | June 27, 2007 1:09 PM
Actually, and I'm a little ashamed to admit this, I do remember tale of a sex tape that K Fed was threatening to release in order to get a bigger divorce settlement. Since he didn't, he may have just been bluffing.
Posted by: Anonymous | June 27, 2007 2:54 PM
see, I knew it! someone else remembers this info besides me. so many brain cells filled with this stuff....
Posted by: Anonymous | June 27, 2007 4:09 PM
The comments to this entry are closed.
Now wait, Liz - let's not leap to judgement. That picture of Brit-Brit with a bare chest was (if you read the article attached to it) her stepping out of a changing room to ask her friends how the bathing suit BOTTOMS looked on her. She didn't have the top on bec she wasn't asking their opinion about the top.
It makes perfect sense, really.
If you're her. Or if you understand her web postings...
Okay - maybe we should leap to judgement...