Chris Crocker, Leave Us Alone


Chris Crocker, newly-minted 'net star. (AP)

Last week, Chris Crocker rose from the obscurity of his grandparents' Tennessee house and his status as a Perez Hilton remora to become the latest Internet-created celebrity. Proof positive that there is something actually more pitiful than Britney Spears herself, Crocker is particularly hard to stomach because he's clawing his way into the pop culture lexicon by stepping on Brit's neck.

If you haven't yet watched Crocker's career-making plea to "Leave Britney Alone," you can do so here. If you don't have much of a stomach for whining and crocodile tears, skip it and know that it is two minutes and 11 seconds of very calculated nails-on-chalkboard ravings by a very shrewd 19-year-old who purports to defend Spears, who he says is getting a rough break. Leave her alone, he asks, while at the same time doing everything he can to get us to pay attention to him.

In the age of Turtle Boy, LonelyGirl15 and Perez Hilton himself, Crocker's over-the-top performance went viral in a matter of days and, unironically, landed him a previously stalled TV production deal.

In the past week he's had plenty of broadcast practice -- turning up everywhere from "Jimmy Kimmel Live" to Howard Stern to the "Today" show. Through all, he's kept up his nonsensical comments about Spears and inspired dozens of video satires, like this one by Seth Green asking us to "leave Chris Crocker alone."

Gladly. But such is not our fate.

Sometime in the next little while we can look forward to what one production company rep terms the "Chris Crocker experience." Doubtless, this masterpiece will take its place somewhere on the spectrum between Spears's own mediocre TV foray, "Britney and Kevin: Chaotic" and the trashy trainwreck that was "The Anna Nicole Show." Will he be interesting, though, when he's not wailing about Britney?


By Liz |  September 25, 2007; 10:42 AM ET  | Category:  Britney Spears , Miscellaneous , TV
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He was interesting having the meltdown. Otherwise...no. Geez, even the Cavemen show had a more compelling origin than this.

Posted by: 23112 | September 25, 2007 10:24 AM

So which sign of the apocalypse is this?

Posted by: st. louis | September 25, 2007 10:32 AM

Writing a story about someone you want to go away isn't the best way to accomplish said goal...

Posted by: Duh | September 25, 2007 10:46 AM

re: the poll...i was torn between the opportunist, the blip and the sick puppy. so i came up with my own description. he's a blipping sick opportunist. (i'm leaving off the puppy b/c puppies are soooo cute.)

Posted by: methinks | September 25, 2007 11:05 AM

People like him attain "fame" because there are no gatekeepers to establish standards. A bunch of suits sit in a board meeting discussing the latest fad on the Internet, then they go and try to put it on their show. It's lazy and lame. Fame truly has no value or meaning anymore.

Posted by: M Street, D.C. | September 25, 2007 11:07 AM

Where can I get my 15 minutes. It is obvious they are giving it to anybody these days.

Posted by: jake e. poo | September 25, 2007 11:10 AM

Noooooooooooooooooo. I hope this show goes the way of the Liza and David reality show. I have managed to spare myself his video and man am I going to avoid his show if it ever airs.

Posted by: petal | September 25, 2007 11:16 AM

Like fame was something so noble in the first place? The fact that fame has no value or meaning anymore is, in my opinion, nothing new. Some people have to earn their famous licenses, and some people just luck into them. Whatever.

The real question is: Does talent have any value anymore?

Is this Chris Crocker guy talented enough to warrant giving him a television show. Well, I guess by virtue of the fact that he is getting one, he is talented. I couldn't do that, even if I wanted to.

However, I hope no one watches or writes about it because I want him to go away, back to his grandmother's basement, clutching his waterproof mascara for dear life. Let's don't make the same mistake with Crocker that people made with that irritating rash Perez Hilton.

By the way, good headline, Liz. I lol'd.

Posted by: Mina | September 25, 2007 11:18 AM

Let me just get ahead of the curve on his one:

Whatever became of that Chris Crocker guy, anyway? You know, that kid who had the meltdown about Britney... come on, you must remember, he was huuuuuuuge for about 8 minutes there. No? Well, no big deal, whatever.

Posted by: byoolin | September 25, 2007 11:32 AM

He looks more like Betty Crocker. But I'm betting he couldn't bake anyone happy with that shtick.

Posted by: MisterBear | September 25, 2007 12:02 PM

As someone who was aware of Chris Crocker and his You Tube videos before all this Britney hype, I have to say his "Leave Britney Alone" video was pretty much par for course. I don't think he was being an opportunist... look at his other videos. This is what he does! For better or worse, it's clearly the media (ahem) that is making the hype about it and turning him into a star for it.

Posted by: | September 25, 2007 12:58 PM

Chris Crocker would make a great companion for Mark Foley.

Posted by: Pleated Pants | September 25, 2007 2:12 PM

Wow. That pic he looks just like Fairuza Balk!

Posted by: not bluto | September 25, 2007 2:13 PM

That's a guy?!?

Posted by: Piranha | September 25, 2007 2:26 PM

Is Chris Crocker a transvestite, or is his girlie look au naturel?

Posted by: Pleated Pants | September 25, 2007 2:34 PM

Where have American values gone. I mean would even two people watch such a freak?

Posted by: Fairfax, VA | September 25, 2007 2:44 PM

He's the type of character that gets under my skin. He's so overly dramatic and annoying. I hope his 15 mins expire soon.

BTW. I love the new polling software. I know you've had it around for a few weeks, but I'm just getting around to telling you. It's so much fun (gene's "awwwwwwwwwww" polls are fun).

Posted by: | September 25, 2007 2:51 PM

And I thought the Hanson brothers looked girly.

Posted by: ASinMoCo | September 25, 2007 2:57 PM

The Seth Green bit from The Soup was much more amusing/interesting than the Crocker clip. I'm not sure I understand why anyone is wanting to promote this guy. The hits his video got were likely due to interest in seeing the latest freak on the Net, not genuine interest in his talent, observations, etc.

Posted by: Arlington, VA | September 25, 2007 3:02 PM

Well...he's no Colin Firth.

Posting that pic certainly won't prompt a blog mutiny to list our favorite You Tube nutjobs, thankyouverymuch.

Posted by: rachelt | September 25, 2007 4:01 PM

No, seriously... that's a dude?!?

Posted by: John H. | September 25, 2007 4:26 PM

hahahaha, not bluto! fairuza balk! very good.

Posted by: methinks | September 25, 2007 4:29 PM

I'm sorry, you really need to blame The Stranger in Seattle for unleashing Chris Crocker upon America.

Yes, it's our fault.

Sorry.

Posted by: Will in Seattle | September 25, 2007 7:00 PM

OMG, non bluto -- it's COMPLETELY Fairuza Balk (though not as pretty). And st. louis, I believe this is the seventh sign.

The Seth Green parody is worth watching, more so than this gu-- er, gir--, er, whatever. (CC kinda reminds me of that early American Idol contestant this past round who was a teen boy but really really looked like a teen girl.)

The comments on this board are great. (For more hilarious blog comments you have to check out the Tom and Lorenzo blogspot blog -- pretty darn funny too. Between the two blogs my work mornings are useless.)

Thanks for the laughs everyone!

Posted by: liz fan in md | September 25, 2007 10:48 PM

I think hes is awesome! I love that guy, hes hilarious.... I love his Queen of ghetto and Hold it down for my girls bit. I think he is a true comic genius! Thanks for coining that for his Liz! haha i know that pissed you off!

Posted by: dolly72 | September 26, 2007 10:29 AM

I hate how the media is potraying that it's natural to be different in this world. Every second kid on the street who's normal, must be thinking that it pays to be different, so why be normal..
The media will do anything to get rich!
This guy is most famous on YouTube.. Let's see the facts for a moment - YouTube has 85% of population under 18!!

Posted by: Coffee | September 26, 2007 12:27 PM

CHRIS CROCKER YOUR SICK IN THE HEAD JUST LIKE YOUR BROTHER! AND Y DO U RAPE YOUR DOG U FREAK I BET YOUR DOG IS AFRAID OF U. SO Y R U GAY ANYWAYS IS IT BECOUSE U CANT GET A GIRL? U POOR THING..... :(

Posted by: BOB | October 5, 2007 4:24 PM

oh god.
BOB obviously doesn't know that the video of chris and his "brother" was a hilarious satire with his *ahem* boyfriend.

I like Chris.

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