"I don't wanna see no 'Grindhouse,' no, no, no."

Amy Winehouse, seen here calling security to escape a crazed fan, has recently fired her manager, fearful of more bad publicity a la Brit-Brit.

"Similiar to Courtney Love's gift to Jason Preston, Mr. Tarantino is wearing the newest Hollywood trend: the corpse brooch."

Amy Winehouse interrupts Quentin Tarantino's announcement that she is being cast in his latest film when she hears a baggie open in a nearby ladies' room.

"I don't need you to tell me how f*****g good my coffee is, okay? I'm the one who buys it. I know how good it is. When Bonnie goes shopping she buys S**T. Me, I buy the gourmet expensive stuff because when I drink it I want to taste it. But you know what's on my mind right now? It AIN'T the coffee in my kitchen, it's the druggie b*tch who just puked on my shoes."

Quentin Tarantino embraces his next movie project, 'The Train Wreck'.

"Can you believe the crappy party favors they're dumping on us? Only in L.A., man."

Is Tarantino wearing a Wu-Tang tshirt? is that supposed to be "ironic"? I'm tired of the "hip" crowd and their stupid tshirts. If I see another 21-year old in a "More Cowbell" or Cobra Commander tshirt and a fauxhawk, I'm going to stab him.

Posing for a photo with Tarantino, Winehouse gets distracted when she mistakes Keira Knightly for a giant crack pipe.

{an aside: why does the top half of his head look orange like he stuck it in a tanning bed?}

"What is Tony Blair doing in black leather?

Where can I get one of these "More Cowbell" shirts?

The newest additions to Madame Tussaud's.

Outmoded director Tarrantino desperately clings to "cutting" edge Winehouse.

Ok, just think "He can only hold her". Just sing it in your head... And it will all be over by the time I reach the end.

Tarentino smirks and clutches his pick to star as the sassy and vengeful Mexican 'ho with a heart of gold' in his next picture, while Ms. Winehouse tries vainly to escape....

Tarrantino, sensing she may not remember it in the morning, works to convince Winehouse to get a Grindhouse Tattoo to help publicize the upcoming DVD release.

But I am not "Just Friends" with this guy. I don't even know who this bloke is.

"Hey, Blake honey, I found someone here crazier than us!"

QT: "I can't wait to jab her with the adrenaline spike."

AW: "I can't wait for him to jab me with the adrenaline spike."

Help! His third hand's grabbing my butt!!

Amy: Heeeeey evrybaddy....meet my huzzzzband! (stumble, slur)
Quentin: I'll take it, if it gives me publicity!
Amy: Shaaaadddup! And get me a drink 'afore I scratch yer eyes out, daaaarlink.

Oops. Some one had the bean burrito for lunch.

Lily and Herman Munster: The Next Generation.

Amy: "So I'm pleased to be starring in the remake of...what? Whaddya mean he's not Bertolucci?"

AW: "I don't care. There's no drug worth sleeping with this bloke!"

QT: "I hope she brought the strap on!"

Following Quentin Tarantino's announcement that Amy Winehouse is his new muse, she quickly looks over her shoulder to make sure Uma Thurman isn't coming at her with a sword.

NOT as a submission, but as a serious comment: What's up with that hand of hers? Does that look like cutting self-mutliation or just rough living???

Saving us valuable space and YOU valuable life time, we hereby present ONE picture of two people you really couldn't give less of a crap about.

No caption, just response for OD.

In Tarentinos defense, he's worked w/RZA of Wu Tang, RZA did the music for both Kill Bills, so at least he's got a decent reason to wear the shirt.

For those that are wondering, you pronounce it "rih-zah."

Amy Winehouse poses with No. 1 fan, Roger Federer.

QT: You should see what she has tattooed on her butt.

"Ok, OK! I'll go to rehab! Just get this ***ing guy off of me."

Amy: Phew! Did you just come straight from the gym?

Quentin: I can't answer because the alcohol fumes eminating from you have made my lips pucker.

Friends update, circa 2015: Chandler and Janice, together again for the last time!

I like that song where you sing about washing your feet!

Hey Amy...wanna see my Mr. Pink?

QT: Is that smell coming from her hair?

AW: Hold the pipe, I'll be right there

courtesy of Sonny & Cher:

I got you to hold me tight...
I got you, I won't let go...
babe...I got you babe...

Bored @ home: I'll accept that excuse for Tarantino. Nothing wrong with whoring yourself out as a billboard for your business associate's other ventures.

But I still stand by the second half of my commment: All hipsters in the DC area with a closet full of "ironic" or "vintage" tshirts are on notice.

Quentin Tarantino discovers the British version of the Roy-al....with cheese!

QT: "Says her name is methinks. Keeps going on and on about some guy named byoolin."
:-P

Fresh off their late shift at Starbucks, these two barista lovebirds attend a Saturday night showing of ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK at the county fairgrounds.

I was about to write how lame these captions are....until I read yours Helena. Well done!

I KNEW it was Tarantino who's been impersonating me!!!!

There's a Rocky Horror caption here, somewhere....

QT: "Says her name is methinks. Keeps going on and on about some guy named byoolin."
:-P

WINNER!!

Quentin Tarantino demonstrates his new quick and easy "squeeze method" for giving tattooes.

Amy Winehouse sees Chuck Norris coming, Quentin Tarantino doesn't.

So, basically, I wasn't the only person who couldn't think of a funny caption, I was just the only one who didn't post one anyway?

Two founding members of the Church of Boundless Retro Obsession find each other... repugnant.

Is that a cold sore on the corner of her mouth? Ewwies!

Where is Tim Gunn when you need him?

My vote so far goes for the Friends 2015 caption by d. lol

QT:"I'm channeling Ethan Hawke, baby!"

In a rare moment of clarity, rehab-averse singer Amy Winehouse questions her choice of "sober buddy".

Call 911! "Jaws of life" needed for separation of Quentin's cheek from Amy's hair.

Even after she'd performed a prostate exam this relationship couldn't pass Amy's smell test!

QT:"Buns of steeel! Feel the quality!"
AW:"Gah!"

Blow and D'Oh!

3:19 methinks...not the real original methinks.
helena, that's a good one, but fortunately my teeth are both clean and straight, as is my hair. and i've nary a tatt. i know boring.

although helena's caption was very good, i'm going to have to go with thor's "sober buddy" caption. it made me laugh AND doesn't equate me with AW.

Wait, upon further review, is QT wearing TRACK PANTS?!!! (and yes, I realize I've posted two comments on QT's outfit while ignoring the anorexic, tatted-out rat's nest next to him.)

My vote, if we're voting, goes to Thor's Starbucks line.

Although my husband came up with one that made me laugh: "FLAVORS OF THE MONTH. All 1998-2006 product now half off."

And one more thing... is it just me, or is it kind of annoying that a few people here spend all this time and column space arguing about whether or not they're REALLY the person their name thingy says they are, and then turn around and say that WE'RE the ones who are posting lame responses?

"Uhm, Quentin? Method Man is over there and he looks like he wants to kick your ass..."

I'm actually not at all bothered by the amount of space devoted to sorting out who is really whom. I'm just sayin.

Caption: "I may be whacked out but I'm still cooler than this dork."

Quentin Tarantino: "Before I was famous, I used to work at a Blockbuster."

Amy: "Oh yeah? Before I was famous, I used to eat."

HA! I like your husband's comment, Margo... they do have kind of a "reduced for quick sale" look about them.

Surprise! Surprise! Surprise! That's not my finger!

AW: Are you sure this is where you keep your stash?

QT: "Hey Amy, let me take you out on a totally platonic date-like thing. Let's go get a Royale With Cheese."

Amy: "Blake, this motherf*cker wants to give me a foot massage!"

Tarantino boldly agrees to prove the theory that, just like standing next to someone big makes you look smaller, standing next to someone who is 80% hair will make any man's forehead appear 50% higher.

Twenty-nine dimensions of personality my ass. I am soooooo canceling my membership at eHarmony just as soon as this guy lets go of me.

I love you honey bunny

Winehouse asks friends, "Does his forehead make me look fat?"

I used to have Uma as my muse... now I have this. I need to start making better movies again.

Unable to escape the grasp of the creepy director, Winehouse reportedly shouted: "Where's The Gimp when you need him?"

"I know he revived Travolta's career, but I'm not touching him there!"

Somebody get my agent on the phone - being photographed with this guy can't be good for my career!

And then, just as the flash goes off, Amy notices the giant furry bats.

Free booze!?!?! 'Bye Q!

Amy suddenly sobers up and desperately looks for the nearest exit.

I realize this is not a poll, but I'm casting another vote for d's Friends reference. And we all thought Joey made out the worst from the show's cancellation.

If I said you had a beautiful carcass, would you hold it against me?

Tarantino finds the "Grindhouse Girl" who got away.

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