1. Hire the folks from What Not to Wear to fix her wardrobe.

2. Hire a voice coach. There's something there, it just needs training.

3. Get a real manager, not her mother. One who has other clients so he/she can look at Brit and say No because he/she doesn't care if Brit fires him/her due to having other sources of income.

4. Go work on Broadway quietly for a while ala Debbie Gibson.

5. After a few years of living quietly and working quietly, beg and plead to have Clive Davis produce the comback album.

Voila, Brit is back, as a real singer this time, not a pop princess.

No list necessary. Your list already said it all... Y'all.

1. Jesus
2. Pilates
3. Counseling
4. Oprah!
5. Timbaland

Otherwise, it's

1. Booze
2. Cupcakes
3. Jerry Springer
4. Divorce Court
5. Branson, Mo

I don't have a complete five-point plan, so I will just suggest that if Rick Rubin were prominently involved, it would bode well for her.

1. Get rid of the hangers-on who encourage you in whatever insane idea you come up with.
2. Get serious about your career; voice coach, hair dresser, clothier, whatever it takes.
3. Learn the difference between sexy and sleazy.
4. Remember that you are responsible for two small children.
5. Lay off the partying and start working to rebuild your career and your relationships.

I'd rather draw up a comeback strategy for Leif Garrett; I think he needs it more.

Heck, just copy what Mandy Moore is doing.

At this point, I think the only thing that might save Britney would be for Kevin to win custody of the kids. If that doesn't snap her back to reality, nothing else will.

Then I think she needs to leave L.A., ditch her friends, move in with Dr. Phil and get her life together.

I can condense it to two steps:

1. Call Heff
2. If he says no, call Larry Flynt

Result? what we've all been waiting for.

1: Lock her in a room for 24 hours with byoolin.

2: Lock her in a room for another 24 hours with methinks.

3: Lock her in a room for another 24 hours with Thor.

4: Lock her in a room for another 24 hours with Navin Johnson (a.k.a. st. louis).

Once those four have had their 96 hours de-programming her, she'll be a blank slate. It'll be, "Hello, I'm Britney Spears and I am pleased to meet you," instead of that distasteful "I'm Britney, b*tch," stuff we've been hearing.

5: Drop her off in the parking lot at the studios where they tape American Idol with a note pinned to her blouse: "Please, Mr. Cowell, make me a star again!"

1. sell the big mansion(s) and get out of CA
2. move back home to LA and live like a real Louisanian for a while
3. donate some of that $700,000 a month to help rebuild your "roots" (and not the hair kind)
4. hire a life coach/stylist
5. get to know your kids

By the way, Charming Celebritology Hostess With The Mostest, Turner Classic Movies is showing a raft of Jane Wyman flicks today (Friday).

You may have already watched these today:
6:00 AM The Doughgirls ('44)
7:45 AM The Lost Weekend ('45)
9:30 AM Cheyenne ('47)
11:15 AM Johnny Belinda ('48)

Still to come:
1:00 PM The Lady Takes a Sailor ('49)
2:45 PM A Kiss in the Dark ('49)
4:15 PM Here Comes the Groom ('51)
6:15 PM Let's Do It Again ('53)

This information should in no way influence your scoring of the Friday list challenge.

Irish Girl's list

1.Get your personal life straighten out first. That is, make up with your family, get rid of the bad influences in your life, and take care of those babies. Stay away from the booze.

2.After you are somewhat responsible again, get a freaking team to fix the mess that is your hair, body, voice, and clothes.

3.Repeat step two as necessary because I am sure you won't succeed the first time.

4.Perhaps take a few classes at a community college to expand your vocabulary, speaking, and personal interaction skills.

5.Apologize to Timbaland and ask for his help in making you a star again or for that matter apologize to everyone and ask anyone who will help you for help.

1. Therapy. I don't know where you got the idea that you have to be naked to be sexy but let's get to the root of the problem and eliminate it.

2. Gym. It's a cynical world we live in, my friend. Your body and tan are H-O-T for the Jersey Shore but we're talking about America here! We're nothing if not morbidly obese judgers.

3. Timbaland. "It's too late to apologize ..." No, it isn't. Beg. Crawl. Cry. Whatever it takes. He's a genius.

4. Mom-cred. So you drive around with a baby on your lap sometimes - who hasn't? Unfortunately for you, the whole world is watching. Get some strategic photo ops of you being a normal, down-to-earth mother and for God's sake, don't wear a thong to the playground!

5. Bush Strategy. Take a page from the Bush playbook and do not do any interviews or photo-ops that aren't rigged to make you look like an angel. Your handlers have to approve every question before it's asked, every photo before it's printed, every sound bite before it comes out of your mouth. If I see you chewing gum with Matt Lauer, I'm going to be very disappointed, young lady.

1. Toxic: Time to detox for real this time

2. Stop, Collaborate and Listen: Beg Timbaland, Kayne or some other amazing producer to help put a new album together and listen to their musical advice

3. We Don't Have to Take Our Clothes Off: You're a mom now, be a sexy mom, but with body-appropriate clothes.

4. Dance, Dance, Dance: You are a performer more than a singer - you need to bring your A game back

5: Hit Me Baby One More Time: You need a catchy tune that you can't get out of our heads. Gimme More sex sounds aint it!

Well, this week has taken Cele-BRIT-ology to the extreme.

I recommend the exact opposite route. If you want to be a spectacle, be a spectacular spectacle a la one of the greatest spectacular women in rock: Wendy O. Williams.

1) Shaving your head is good. Shaving your head into a mohawk is better.

2) We all know you cannot sing. Don't hide it. Celebrate it!!! ...and cover a 70's country hit with Lemmy. I recommend "Harper Valley PTA" as sung by Jeannie C. Riley.

3) Dump the snakes. Everybody loves a concert with a chainsaw wielding madman. ...or in this case, woman.

4) Tatoos become you. Get more. (See: Kucsulain, Candace) Like your former BFF Paris says, "HOTT!"

5) Fabrics derived from petroleum products are wonderful! ...but only when studded with METAL!!! (See: Halford, Rob)

1. Stop lipsycing
2. Actually learn how to sing without studio help
3. Running (did wonders for me)
4. Hire me as your life coach (if I can train my dogs, how hard can it be to do a person)
5. Underwear, underwear, underwear. Buy it, wear it, love it.

I have no list for a come back because IMO she really isn't that talented! Yes she has a voice and she can dance but so can a lot of others out there who haven't had (and would love) the opportunities she has and yes she isn't afraid to show all that God gave her, oh and least I forget she also isn't afraid to kiss Madonna so yes she has moxie but again so do a lot of others out there, well that is except the kiss Madonna thing... shudder! So let us let her career RIP! She is making $8M a year from what she has done in the past, so I say let us let her pass into obscurity!

1) Get some handlers and management that care about you as a human being and not a cash box. The acid test is whether they would be willing to hit you with a large fish if you're acting stupid and/or spoiled.

2) Be serious about a return -- work out and practice, practice, practice. Also, do not have management that schedules you in strip clubs as test beds for a comeback. (See above)

3) Control your photo ops -- go places that the paparrazi don't frequent: public libraries, zoos, museums, and the like. These have the side benefits of improving your mind and letting you spend time with your children. If all else fails, make a film about global warming; Leo DeCaprio said that kept the paparrazi away from him.

4) Develop an air of mystery with your clothing style. No one needs to see your vital organs. Wear clothes that are elegant and understated; as your body improves through practice, you can still be sexy without being cited for public nudity.

5) Be polite and appreciative of the people that do help you. One vicious Photoshop application after a tempremental photo shoot can really ruin your day.

Here's the five-step program Britney needs to help her reach her full star potential:

1. Hire Alice Cooper (wardrobe, makeup and style consultant).
2. Hire Axl Rose (voice and performance coach).
3. Hire Pete Doherty (personal wellness guru).
4. Hire Michael Jackson (childcare consultant and publicity rep).
5. Hire Howard K. Stern (business promotions and personal finance manager).

Britney's Five Point Plan

1.Get out of contract with Jive Records
2.Sign with Def Jam Records(home of super producers)
3.Learn how Gwen Steffani manages baby, career, and men
4.Take no help from JT (there's nothing more motivating than doing better than your exes.)
5.Go on Oprah and ask forgiveness.

1) Change--GIGO: garbage in, garbage out. that means, britney, that the junk you put in is going to come out. stop eating junk. stop drinking junk. stop dating junk, hanging around junk. see a pattern? change what you allow in your life.

2) Choose--make better decisions which means you need to realize that every decision you make has a result.

3) Children--their yours (and your ex-husband's of course). Behave like a mom. Take responsibility and if you can't, or won't, be good enough to bring people in your life who will be responsible. Those children shouldn't pay for your mistakes but they will.

4) Champion--find someone/or a group of someones, who believe in you. If that's a manager, collaborator, true friend, family member, whatever. You need someone who believes in you and will give you sound advice--not just what you want to hear.

5) Chill--relax a little, you're 25? You've got kids, you need to re-group (retrench to use a Jane Austin word...what? Never heard of Jane Austin? Maybe you should read a bit. Watch Pride & Prejudice and learn what gentleness can bring...Mr Darcy anyone?) You can come back, but stop pushing it as if it's all over.

Change...Choose...Children...Champion...Chill
You can do it Britney. I (sort of) believe in you. (okay, i'd make a lousy champion)

Holy cow. Pompous Magnus works in references to Wendy O. Williams, Lemmy and Judas Priest AND includes a cover of Harper Valley P.T.A. for good measure!

Not only should PM win today's challenge, I want PM to remake ME.

I want to change my answer regarding the roots -- go back to your natural haircolor, too, maybe you'd be less recognizable...

Oh, can she even go to community college? I was going to add that to mine, but wasn't sure she had a GED...

methinks, you just hit upon my weakness. I loves me some Mr. Darcy. I usually like to sit in on cold weekend and watch Pride & Prejudice (the 1995 BBC adaptation of course), but I may have to pull it out this weekend.

Mr. Bear:

You're an evil, evil man. Thanks for posting.

ahhh st. loooey, it's always a good time for some mr. darcy. (1995 bbc version, of course)

1. Get rid of all your mirrors, quit messing with your hair, surrender the makeup and learn to be alright with who you are right now.
2. Since you're not worrying about the way you look, fill your head with something useful a la Shakira. Take some classes, learn something new, take up a skill. Gain perspective, it's a good thing.
3. Good activity for not being appearance obsessed and contemplating: hiking and backpacking. You stand a lesser chance of being hounded by the paparazzi in the wilderness, you'll get super fit doing it, and they're making super fun baby backpacks these days!
4. Now that you're back from your mirror less, reflective hike, apply what you've learned out there to your life in LA. Weed as necessary.
5. Hit the studio a changed woman, and something miraculous will come out. You've got a whole new set of experiences to sing about.

Let's see here...

1) Let K-Fed have custody of the kids. You're not helping them here.

2) Move someplace other than LA, New York, or London - it doesn't have to be the middle of the woods, just someplace without a 24-hour club scene - and lay low for a year or so, meaning no photographs of you wearing anything other than clothing that completely covers your genitalia, or, ideally, no photographs at all.

3) Quietly make contact with an uberproducer and get an album in the can. I'm thinking Mark Ronson at the moment.

4) Release the album - assuming it's even halfway decent, the reviews basically write themselves.

5) Then, and only then, reappear - start with Oprah, maybe a musical guest slot on SNL, but do it slowly and let the hype build until MTV has to come begging for another appearance.

weed as necessary could be taken two ways...sort through things as needed or smoke weed when necessary. i hate to be picky but britney will need you to be more specific.

1. Watch and read all material on you since your first marriage. History repeats itself. Your past mistakes need to be pounded into your head until you realize that you are not the "pop princess" that you used to be. You are a joke.

2. Birth control. Take it!!!! In fact, take 2 a day!!!!!

3. Go to the gym. Find the best personal trainer to kick your ... into shape. And yes, this means skiping the cheetos, booze and redbulls.

4. Stay away from all venues where pictures, interviews, crotch shots could take place. Instead, spend a quiet evening shopping at Fredericks.com or victoriassecret.com, while taking care of the kids you already popped out.

5. Find a way to steal Justin back from Jessica. Or at least beg him to introduce you to his producer friends.

1. Go back to school. Lose the ignorance.

2. Buy underwear. (on second thought, make that no. 1.)

3. Hit some meetings (AA)instead of clubs

4. Get parenting counseling

5. Leave men alone for a while...true it's a cliche, but if you learn to love yourself, the chances of somebody else loving you will increase.

I think she needs some role models. Here are my top 5:

1) Shakira: She's sexy (but not over-the-top) and also respected for her talent (singing, songwriting, dancing)-- I respect her even more after reading the article today about her taking some college classes to expand her horizons (another thing Britney should do).

2) Reese Witherspoon: A strong, smart, attractive young woman who is also a divorced mom and seems to be doing a good job balancing everything (and managing to win an Oscar).

3) Christina Aguilera (soon to be a mom): Who ever thought that X-tina would come out as the "clean" one? She's definitely come a long way-- Britney should look to her for some inspiration (and some vocal lessons).

4) Gwen Stefani: Another hot mom who proves that you can be "pop" but also be "edgy"... maybe that is the direction Britney should go in?

5) Madonna: Unfortunately, given the fact that Britney isn't the best singer in the world and doesn't have an innate sense of style she might want to just follow in Madonna's footsteps and completely reinvent herself every few years in order to get some much-needed attention (and not the negative kind she's getting now).

Not to be nitpicky but didn't we already give this woman a five point and heck even a twelve point plan?

Honestly I have run out of ideas.If she can find the package that Liz her last year and I think this year as well and she reads it and takes the advice she'll be golden.

OMG -- has anyone else seen this shot? (May not be SFW)

http://www.tmz.com/2007/09/14/courtney-love-death-becomes-her/

Insta-pop star success:

1. Buy out a record label, take control as owner.

2. Invent holographic synthesizer, wirelessly controlled by star-shaped earrings. Wear earrings at all times.

3. Program synthesizer to project you as your thin, talented pop sensation alter-ego upon the command "showtime, Synergy", despite lack of credible scientific explanation.

4. In guise of pop sensation alter-ego, dye hair pink, play keytar, engage in implausible melodramatic adventures, each ending in 15 minutes with time for commercial advertisements.

5. Profit.

1) Family therapy. With your parents, your kids, your ex, in various combinations.

2) Less staff! Start doing more things for yourself, and maybe learn what personal responsibility means.

3) Personal trainer/nutritionist. Get moving and get an idea of what healthy food is (meaning a "diet" you can spend the rest of your life with).

4) LINDA PERRY. We know you think you're beautiful, no matter what they say; now you just need to write a hit record about it.

5) Barbara Walters, once the transformation is complete.

Violet: That's truly outrageous!

Thanks, byoolin! My rates are reasonable: beer.

Oh the dilemma....I reeeallly want that Donny & Marie Tiger Beat & the Leif Garret poste but I don't wanna see a Britney comeback....wait...I've probably got that Tiger Beat & Leif Garrett poster stored in the basement somewhere so next time you need an award on that level, I'm your woman Liz!!

I'm w/MLF, let her fade into obscurity & let someone else have their 15 minutes.

PM, you sound like a delightfully cheap date.

. Make and market an exercise video; call it, "Abs Of Cheddar"

. Grow a tail; suggest one like Tigger, of Winnie-the-Pooh fame; incorporate the twirling of said tail into your stage presence as your defining, signature move: The Tailspin

. Adopt an accent and alter manner of speech to convey a sense of sophistication, like Madonna with her English accent; in your case, strongly suggest Cockney rhyming slang

. Learn a trade or get a technical degree for alternative career prospects, perhaps from DeVry University (there's one in Sherman Oaks); consider programs like Health Services Management or Biomedical Engineering Technology, to help you understand mysterious topics like general hygiene and where babies come from

. Make a deal with the devil to bestow you with some talent; any talent; anything at all; sword swallowing would do; just...something.

This is a job for the Mother of Reinvention.

1. Convince Madonna to adopt you.
2. Do everything she says.

I'd really like that Leif Garret poster but I'm just not funny enough. So seriously Britney:

1. Learn to love and respect yourself. You actually are quite pretty, and you've got a good (if in desperate need of training) voice. Taking care of yourself will follow.

2. Listen to actual good music, from the Great American Songbook (not actually a "book", you know - Cole Porter, George Gershwin and those folks!) to good Broadway, hot jazz and swing, old country, to the wonderful world of rock. Let it get into your blood and pores. Live and breathe good music; you can still perform trash but you'll do it better.

3. Ya wanna be a bad girl? (C'mon, we all know that's what we really want!) Get your ya-yas out on stage...MEAN what you give to your audience, then go home and learn the joys of hot chocolate with the kids, fuzzy slippers, bubble baths and children's books. Noone has to know.

4. Don't take all this celebrity crap too seriously, it's way too much pressure.

5. Like the great vaudvillians always said - leave 'em wanting more. Cultivate a little mystery in your dress and personal behavior. Wink occasionally. Having different on and off stage personas (see #2) only adds to an air of mystery.

1. Buy pants.

2. Leave California and move someplace quiet, like Iowa. Take up distance running.

3. Go to community college. Actually study.

4. Channel newly-found "soul" into actual songwriting.

5. Re-emerge in four years, be seen taking your kids to school, run a marathon for breast cancer, and do a tell-all interview about how it's all about the music now. Oh yeah, and wear pants when you perform.

Okay, I've already done my 5-pointer but I just wanted to say...
Our idea of "out of shape" for a performer has gotten kinda severe. I watched "Kiss Me Kate" (1950's movie) last weekend, and Ann Miller looks no thinner than Britney at the VMAs... of course Ann's costume didn't show off her back fat.. and man could that woman dance! (and sing!) And by today's standards, Marilyn Monroe was a fattie.
Britney's lack of preparation was shameful for a performer, but as far as her body, maybe a reality check on all the critique is in order?

1. Marry me.
2. Divorce me as a wiser, though, tragically, much poorer woman.
3. Allow your poverty and insights to reinvigorate a deeper and more sophisticated musical style.
4. Go on Oprah to reveal the new improved you.
5. Leverage the sympathy so generated into a profoundly successful album.

1. Buy and wear a burkini (http://www.ahiida.com/index.php?a=results&subcat=59). Wear nothing more revealing than this for six months. That way when you feel the wind against your bare butt on a public street, you will recognize it as an alien sensation.
2. Put up a picture of Anna Nicole Smith at her scariest point. Every day look at it and repeat "fourteen more years to go!"
3. Every time you feel sorry for yourself, get someone to take you to New Orleans and muck out a house. I understand there are still some to choose from.
4. Call Angelina Jolie for tips...it wasn't that long ago that everyone thought she was heading off the deep end.
5. Find an AA-like sponsor who, when you confess to a temptation to do things like walk around with your butt hanging out, shaving your head, wiping KFC grease on a $$$$ gown, will come over and lock you in a closet for at least four hours.

1. Realize that you are no longer a 17 year old virgin. You are a divorced mother of two. Act in a manner that will not mortify your children in 15 years.

2. Work with a professional image consultant to make sure that your appearance always matches the criterion established above.

3. Get some professional help in developing a more mature musical style. Leave the teeny bopper stuff to Hannah Montana.

4. Play a some small club dates to refine your new style before going fully public.

5. Remember you are set for life. Focus more on creating a lasting legacy of which you will be proud.

Have you ever had a job you hated? I don't think Britney wants the job of Pop Princess any more. I think she has had it up to here with the Pop Princess business.

My advise:
Go ahead; you've got enough money. Let it go. Let Kevin go, too. He's not worth worrying about or worth letting it get to you. Nothing in your life prepared you for this, did it? Well, all of us make mistakes when we're young. We make more when we're old. Really. :-)

Signed: older and wiser, but it took a while.

1. Wear the underwear.

2. Buckle your kids in the car (that is, when you're driving them somewhere).

3. Notice that you have kids.

4. Take a (long) break from Paris/Lindsay.

5. Get some help. Lots of help. All kinds of help.

1. Don't be stupid, get your ass in gear and re-snag Justin. Dumbest move ever was to break up with him.
2. Panties. Clean panties. They come in packs of 6 at Target.
3. Costco for diapers.
4. Liver transplant. Either learn to hold yer licker, or go sober, girl
5. Yeast and herpes treatment. STAT! And thorough washing of NETHER REGIONS!!

ok... i've left it long enough...
and PM won this thread long ago.

1) Fire everyone. Hire a manager and a personal trainer and a stylist. Do what they say - unless you've hired the sort that LiLo hires and they sleep with you... then you need to go back to #1 and start over.

2) You're going to lose the kids. When you do, act like your world is ending - play it up. If your people have you wearing clothing (not grease stained versace) then you've got a chance to play the sympathy card. Play it. The 700 club might be a good move.

3) Work on singing live. You lipsynched when you were really moving around on stage - you had an excuse - you arent in shape to move like that now. So try actually singing. Put together a small-venue set, get some really hot backup dancers and a good choreographer, and do something sultry. You dont have xtina's pipes - but then you never did.

4) Get your butt out of Hollywood. In fact, get it to New Orleans. Open a club there... front a pussycat doll ripoff... and when anyone asks have a prepared statement about 'wanting to give back to Louisiana' or somesuch.

5) Remember - you're only 25 and America loves a comeback. When others were 25 it was DUIs and blow - you too could be president one day. In fact - Karl Rove is looking for work. Why not hire him to shape your image - he's done more with less raw material than just about anyone.

1. Go away.
2. Don't come back.
3. No need for any comebacks of any type.
4. Laugh at yourself because you're rich for no reason.
5. Live under a rock.