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Posted at 10:43 AM ET, 11/15/2007

Creative Captioning: Oh, Rihanna!

By Liz Kelly

My first impression of the photo below? That one of those boots would make a great lamp base, kind of like that kickin' fishnet leg lamp from "A Christmas Story." My second thought was "did Cher bob her hair?" But then I looked a little closer and, horrified, realized that this is actually neither Cher nor Lita Ford, but 19-year-old (usually glam) pop prodigy Rihanna. Maybe she didn't realize pix from her Wednesday concert in Switzerland would make it over to this side of the Atlantic. But, silly girl, we live in a global village and, let me tell you, it doesn't take a village to know that this get-up has got to go. Let's hope she learns her lesson before her performance at Sunday's American Music Awards.

Help Rihanna get the message by submitting your own captions for the photo above. The best entry will be elevated to a position of prominence here in the blog and the writer of that entry may call him (or her) self "Official Celebritology Captionologist" for the week of Nov. 11 - 17. Or, if you prefer, take this opportunity to rail against the inanity of caption contests.


(AP)

Winning Captions:

1. Give to me your (p)leather, take from me my taste. -- td

2. Rihanna auditions for her first lead film role, a remake of the Jane Fonda cult classic, tenatively titled "Barbarella - ella - ella." -- oregonchick

3. Singer Rihanna rails against the inanity of caption contests during a concert in Switzerland, November 14, 2007. -- Byoolin

4. "Be honest now: does this leather tutu make my butt look big?" -- oregonchick

5. With surprising forethought, Rihanna fastracks herself for the reality show "So You Think You Can Dance at the Moulin Rouge?" -- AbsintheFairy

By Liz Kelly  | November 15, 2007; 10:43 AM ET
Categories:  Creative Captioning  
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Comments

Singer Rihanna rails against the inanity of caption contests during a concert in Switzerland, November 14, 2007.

Posted by: byoolin | November 15, 2007 10:50 AM | Report abuse

Rihanna: SOS, please someone help me, its not healthy...

Posted by: sjcpeach | November 15, 2007 11:02 AM | Report abuse

The Victoria's Secret Traveling Freakshow features Gigantra, the woman with 12-foot legs and a tiny body, modeling the company's new Leather & Lingerie product line.

Posted by: byoolin | November 15, 2007 11:02 AM | Report abuse

A shocked Rihanna freezes upon seeing the audience throw paper, defeating her choice of rock.

Posted by: Thor | November 15, 2007 11:05 AM | Report abuse


Rihanna mistakenly takes fashion advice from Britney Spears.

Posted by: WDC 21113 | November 15, 2007 11:14 AM | Report abuse

Sorry Liz, I really like the boots. They are fabulous.

Posted by: Lisa1 | November 15, 2007 11:23 AM | Report abuse

Rihanna auditions for "Betty Page: The Musical."

Posted by: Rex | November 15, 2007 11:25 AM | Report abuse

I'm surprised that nobody has suggested one (or both) of these already:

"Be honest now: does this leather tutu make my butt look big?"

or

"Say hello to my gigantic friend."

Posted by: oregonchick | November 15, 2007 11:29 AM | Report abuse

(Not an entry)

Oh my this is shocking. I have the very same outfit complete with the boots in my closet. It's just hard to find the appropriate event to wear it to.

Posted by: petal | November 15, 2007 11:34 AM | Report abuse

When you order your Rihanna Real Doll, you have the choice of several wig and clothing styles. Accessories such as Real Dominatrix lace-up boots and matching gloves are available for an extra charge.

Posted by: oregonchick | November 15, 2007 11:36 AM | Report abuse

Clearly, Rihanna needs Tyra Banks to teach her how to "smile with her eyes"

Posted by: Magnolia | November 15, 2007 11:36 AM | Report abuse

celebrity contestant rihanna on vh1's new reality show, "so you think you can be a dominatrix"

Posted by: methinks | November 15, 2007 11:38 AM | Report abuse

Rihanna shows what shouldn't be worn under an umbrella.

Posted by: Right Winger | November 15, 2007 11:48 AM | Report abuse

Rihanna indulges Gene Weingarten's fetish for the boot and skirt look as she headlines Weingarten's recent birthday party.

Posted by: Sasquatch | November 15, 2007 11:52 AM | Report abuse

Uhh, methinks, if Rehanna really wants to do the dominatrix, her microphone needs to be more anatomically correct, if you know what I mean.

Posted by: Sasquatch | November 15, 2007 11:53 AM | Report abuse

Good god, the child is channeling Wendy O. Williams (I might have the name wrong, but all of you old enough to remember the 80's know who I mean).

Posted by: ep | November 15, 2007 11:53 AM | Report abuse

lol, sasquatch

Posted by: Caitlin | November 15, 2007 11:54 AM | Report abuse

Singer Rihanna shows the crowd at the PETA benefit how to wear your pleather.

Posted by: lydacole | November 15, 2007 11:55 AM | Report abuse

Why Singer Rihanna was asked to leave her cousin's wedding for sporting "inappropriate" clothing

Posted by: lydacole | November 15, 2007 11:56 AM | Report abuse

"When you order your Rihanna Real Doll, you have the choice of several wig and clothing styles. Accessories such as Real Dominatrix lace-up boots and matching gloves are available for an extra charge."

That is fantastic!

Posted by: danielle | November 15, 2007 11:58 AM | Report abuse

Oh Rhianna
Don't you cry for me
You come from Alabama
With the boots above your knee.

Posted by: Dana | November 15, 2007 12:00 PM | Report abuse

In spite of the other posters and Liz may think, this is a fabulous outfit. My boyfriend would be aghast, but I would wear this to a New Years Eve Party, Halloween, or just dancing at the club.

Posted by: Lisa1 | November 15, 2007 12:05 PM | Report abuse

With surprising forethought, Rihanna fastracks herself for the reality show "So You Think You Can Dance at the Moulin Rouge?".

Posted by: AbsintheFairy | November 15, 2007 12:11 PM | Report abuse

The world discovers that Tootie grew up to become a dominatrix

Posted by: Magnolia | November 15, 2007 12:11 PM | Report abuse

Rhianna's career hasn't been the same since she hired her new manager, Britney Spears.

Posted by: e | November 15, 2007 12:19 PM | Report abuse

Also, she isn't making rock with her right fist, she's holding an invisible adrenaline spike.

Posted by: e | November 15, 2007 12:20 PM | Report abuse

I don't know, I like that outfit! Wearing it while performing a concert seems like an appropriate place to wear it! (there, and maybe the boudoir?)

Posted by: CJB | November 15, 2007 12:21 PM | Report abuse

The Wonder Woman costume was already taken.

Posted by: m.a. | November 15, 2007 12:26 PM | Report abuse

Hey, Lita Ford was HOT, back in the day.

Posted by: MisterBear | November 15, 2007 12:29 PM | Report abuse

What are you talking about, Liz??? Rihanna looks great! Love the boots.

Posted by: alf | November 15, 2007 12:34 PM | Report abuse

First I didn't know who Soulja Boy was, now I have to admit I don't know who this chick is. It's not like I'm some old, NPR listening, fogey, I'm listening to some Eve right now on my computer, but at my age it's just hard keeping up with all these young chippies.

Posted by: who? | November 15, 2007 12:36 PM | Report abuse

Petal, my dear... if you look as good in the outfit as she does, we should get together sometime for a rock and roll fantasy.

Posted by: Libidinous Johnson | November 15, 2007 12:37 PM | Report abuse

Given the shape of that skirt, the phrase "You can stand under my umbrella" takes on a whole new meaning....

Posted by: Sigh | November 15, 2007 12:39 PM | Report abuse

My vote is for methinks

Posted by: Doni | November 15, 2007 12:40 PM | Report abuse

Michael Kors: It's so Christian LaCroix 1992!
Nina Garcia: I don't get it -- she seems to have incorporated the bondage half of the theme but the execution of the Disney Princess half of the theme is very ineffective.
Heidi Klum: You're auf!

Posted by: Anonymous | November 15, 2007 1:03 PM | Report abuse

Magnolia, awesome entry!

As Ms. Jay would say she is not using her entire body. She needs to use her arms. (Tyra demonstrates and wacks Ms. Jay on her 'fro and Nigel on his bald head)

Posted by: unmute | November 15, 2007 1:05 PM | Report abuse

In order to compete with Souja Boy, Rihanna decides to bring back Retro dance move - The Twist.

Posted by: unmute | November 15, 2007 1:07 PM | Report abuse

Mattel announces the release of Dominatrix Barbie.

Posted by: b | November 15, 2007 1:10 PM | Report abuse

Dear Heloise,
I find that when I lace up certain parts of my body, I tend to bulge out in other places. Any advice?

Posted by: POS | November 15, 2007 1:11 PM | Report abuse

In this Cloud City attack scene from Star Wars Episode VII, "The Unfaithful Jedi," Han and Leia's daughter, Pon De Solo, turns to the dark side of the Force to become Darth Rihanna.

Posted by: G. Lucas | November 15, 2007 1:11 PM | Report abuse

A shocked Rihanna freezes upon seeing the audience throw paper, defeating her choice of rock.

Posted by: Thor | November 15, 2007 11:05 AM
*****************************************

This should be the winner!!!!!!

Posted by: SF | November 15, 2007 1:21 PM | Report abuse

These caption contests are insane!!!11! Mad I tell you... a device maliciously conceived to destroy hours of productivity - i'm forced to sit here and consider Rhianna's outfit, the legs that 'go up to here', an action shot of a girl WORKING in cfm boots (didnt someone tell her those arent meant to be worn for more than 15 seconds at a time?) and try to come up with some rationale for ridicule (when in reality, the girl looks like she's working that outfit pretty well) - while I could be, umm, working!

... i think we need more caption contests.

Posted by: Quintilus Varus | November 15, 2007 1:25 PM | Report abuse

Rihanna: Give to me your (p)leather, take from me my taste

Posted by: td | November 15, 2007 1:46 PM | Report abuse

As part of a benefit for the endangered drunken Ostriches of New Guinea, Rihanna performs a sacred S&M mating ritual

Posted by: kvs | November 15, 2007 1:53 PM | Report abuse

sorry, can't help it...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Strauss_m_Tanzania.jpg

Posted by: kvs | November 15, 2007 2:01 PM | Report abuse

Asked about her outfit, Rihanna said: "I was going to wear it to my cousin's wedding, but it didn't show enough side-boob."

Posted by: Lindsey | November 15, 2007 2:04 PM | Report abuse

I agree with Quintilus Varus. If I wasn't suffering from a meat coma from lunch I would get out of my chair and be productive. I guess I will have to sit here looking at the picture and try to think of something.

Posted by: michael | November 15, 2007 2:06 PM | Report abuse

kvs, the ostrich and Rhianna would have been a good pairing for yesterday.

Posted by: michael | November 15, 2007 2:08 PM | Report abuse

she looks as though she could really use to be hit with the adrenaline spike

Posted by: SeaTac | November 15, 2007 2:13 PM | Report abuse

Entry: "I don't think you've EARNED your encore yet!" *whipcrack*

Personal: I think the outfit is HOT and would love to be able to wear it. But then I'm kinky.

Posted by: Liz D | November 15, 2007 2:24 PM | Report abuse

Fashion 101: Do not wear clothes made from an umbrella, ella, ella.

Posted by: cee_jay | November 15, 2007 2:29 PM | Report abuse

Whitney Houston relives her Bodyguard days, only slightly more drug addled than the first time.

Posted by: not bluto | November 15, 2007 2:31 PM | Report abuse

Rhianna on the set of her new movie, The Bodyguard 2, starring opposite of an aging Kevin Costner as the geriatric ex-bodygard turned spiritual advisor.

Posted by: not bluto | November 15, 2007 2:34 PM | Report abuse

Gene is that you?

Posted by: Yo Sasquatch | November 15, 2007 2:40 PM | Report abuse

Rihanna: Give to me your (p)leather, take from me my taste

Posted by: td | November 15, 2007 01:46 PM

*************
LOL!
I can't see the photo...and couldn't find any in a quick google search, but this made me laugh anyway and so gets my vote for winning caption nonetheless. Without the photo I am forced to rely on *gasp* my imagination (which I am sure is much worse than reality).

Posted by: sunnydaze | November 15, 2007 2:55 PM | Report abuse

Rihanna Debuts Hentai "Blood, Schoolgirl Vampire"

Posted by: Mr. Natural | November 15, 2007 3:01 PM | Report abuse

"Given the shape of that skirt, the phrase "You can stand under my umbrella" takes on a whole new meaning...."


Yes! Weaner!!!!

Posted by: Anonimis | November 15, 2007 3:32 PM | Report abuse

Rihanna, now disenchanted with umbrellas, has opted for waterproof clothing instead.

Posted by: Mina | November 15, 2007 3:38 PM | Report abuse

Let do... the time warp again!!!

Posted by: Anonymous | November 15, 2007 3:41 PM | Report abuse

Bondage lederhosen -- nice.

Posted by: MrsKerin | November 15, 2007 3:41 PM | Report abuse

Rihanna channels Condi Rice

Posted by: Lulabella07 | November 15, 2007 3:52 PM | Report abuse

"Gene is that you?"

No, I am not Gene Weingarten. So don't mess with me by putting a flaming bag of dog poop on my stoop.

Posted by: Sasquatch | November 15, 2007 4:26 PM | Report abuse

Rihanna cops a 'tude when the American Music Awards fail to award her a pony.

Posted by: Sasquatch | November 15, 2007 4:27 PM | Report abuse

Sweet...a pony reference.

Posted by: Anonymous | November 15, 2007 4:32 PM | Report abuse

Booted Barbadian Babe Busts Booty

Posted by: Outis | November 15, 2007 4:59 PM | Report abuse

Yes, we have pony reference. Why did it take until 4:32? We're slipping people. If you want a pony, you are going to do better than that.

President of the Celebritology Coalition to Save the Ponies.

Posted by: ep | November 15, 2007 5:14 PM | Report abuse

Rihanna auditions for her first lead film role, a remake of the Jane Fonda cult classic, tenatively titled "Barbarella - ella - ella."

Posted by: oregonchick | November 15, 2007 5:53 PM | Report abuse

"My baby takes the morning train! He works from 9 to 5 and then he... Oops! Wrong video!"

Posted by: BDWEsqTM | November 15, 2007 6:34 PM | Report abuse

Mom! Dad! Gimme some quarters! Hurry!! There's no one at the viewfinder!!!

Posted by: Jimmy Tourist | November 15, 2007 6:43 PM | Report abuse

Amazon Woman Pimps A Tune

Posted by: Xena | November 15, 2007 10:48 PM | Report abuse

One potato, two potato, three potato, fo'
My name is Rihanna and I'm dressing like a ho'

Posted by: M. Majority | November 15, 2007 10:51 PM | Report abuse

Rihanna Rocks Rampant Retro Merkin Replete in Racy Regalia

Posted by: Lili von Shtupp | November 15, 2007 10:58 PM | Report abuse

Ms. von Shtupp is right... that *is* one rampant merkin.

Posted by: byoolin | November 16, 2007 8:07 AM | Report abuse

EP! hilarious. Rock on Wendy O. Williams, may you Rest In Peace. When I think of hatchets, music videos and metallic spandex, I always think of you.

Posted by: old, NPR listening fogey | November 16, 2007 8:49 AM | Report abuse

While I appreciate sunnydaze's props for my (p)leater caption (and I do!), this is the one that made ME laugh:

Rihanna auditions for her first lead film role, a remake of the Jane Fonda cult classic, tenatively titled "Barbarella - ella - ella."

Posted by: oregonchick | November 15, 2007 05:53 PM

Very good, oregonchick!

Posted by: td | November 16, 2007 9:17 AM | Report abuse

Rihanna DEMANDS that her audience reveal its "safe" word at the American Music Awards.

Posted by: CJB | November 16, 2007 9:25 AM | Report abuse

"Bring in de Fembahhhhts!"

Posted by: Frau Farbissina | November 16, 2007 10:18 AM | Report abuse

totally works for me
she looks great and it is a stage costume, not 'out in public' wear

and yeah, that would totally rock the world for adult playtime

no points deducted - full marks!

Posted by: tone4days | November 16, 2007 10:44 AM | Report abuse

For traditionalists, the new dashboard dominitrix could never match the classic hula girl.

Posted by: LadyF8 | November 16, 2007 11:11 AM | Report abuse

Hillary Clinton was the acknowledged winner at last night's Democratic Presidential Candidates' debate.

Posted by: byoolin (with thanks to RD Padouk) | November 16, 2007 11:39 AM | Report abuse

"Rihanna realizes midsong that she misread her invite, and that she really should have worn her full-length tea gloves."

It's so annoying to make such fashion faux pas like that, isn't it?


Posted by: Wilbrod | November 16, 2007 2:01 PM | Report abuse

"Hillary Clinton was the acknowledged winner at last night's Democratic Presidential Candidates' debate."

And do you mention this because you want to see her in this leather outfit? ;~)

Posted by: CJB | November 16, 2007 5:58 PM | Report abuse

Rihanna auditions for her first lead film role, a remake of the Jane Fonda cult classic, tenatively titled "Barbarella - ella - ella." -oregonchick


Love it.

Posted by: winner | November 17, 2007 10:30 AM | Report abuse

If it's really pleather, where's the soy whip?

Posted by: SMACK1 | November 18, 2007 11:15 AM | Report abuse

Tina Turner called. She wants her youth back.

Posted by: Ike | November 19, 2007 12:01 AM | Report abuse

Rihanna stakes her claim to seat 38 on Phydeaux III.

Posted by: Buddy Jones | November 19, 2007 12:10 AM | Report abuse

More human than human.

Posted by: Rick Deckard | November 19, 2007 12:11 AM | Report abuse

The comments to this entry are closed.

 
 
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