Prosecco in a can. Ugh...

That just screams, "Hey! Look at me! I'm a C.L.A.S.S. A.C.T.!!!!!"

I have never liked Paris Hilton, mainly because I just for the life of me could not understand how someone could ride to fame on the coattails of a SEX TAPE. But proof of armagaddon (sp?) was coming was the night she was on Larry King, since in order for her to be on Larry King, Larry decided to bump his scheduled guest...Michael Moore. Now I know everyone is not a fan of Mr. Moore, but to be bumped for some vapid socialite...I started building my fall-out shelter right after that.

champagne in a can reminds me of when i was in high school and my mom would let me take a little bottle of champale with me when i babysat on new year's eve. i thought that was hot stuff. (it's swill of course. as i imagine this product is as well.)
as for paris pitching the prosecco...it seems like that should have been a violation of her probation, for heaven's sake. how does one go from serving *hard* time for a dui, and failing to do various things surrounding one's dui prosecution, to shilling for an alcohol company? makes no sense...but then it's paris, and apparently, we'll always have her.

The photo of the gold-airbrushed Paris reminds me of the (ahem) art that Farrah Fawcett was making a few years ago, in which she was covered head-to-toe in metallic gold paint and them laid down on a large canvas.

Cheap and contrived excrement, devoid of any artistic merit or creative aesthetic. Much like Paris, herself.

where's the option in the poll to vote that I agree with Tina Fey about her influence with young women, but still appreciate the "writhing, gold body in the desert" image?

Can't we just stuff Paris in a can? I just don't see any redeeming qualities whatsoever.

Hey, Liz Kelly:

Coincidentally to your mentioning Tina Fey today, I've been thinking that when we address you, we should use your first AND last names, i.e., "Liz Kelly," preferably while using the same tone of voice that Tracy Jordan uses when he talks to Liz Lemon on Fey's show.

Also, Liz Kelly: no fair linking to NSFW sites! You _know_ that just gets us all worked up!

i know, i know, i said i was going to work but i want to second byoolin's idea of referring to liz as liz kelly a la 30 rock's tracy jordan.
that okay with you liz kelly??

I would say its somewhat-SFW, a quick glance. Her legs look stumpy though. Its not that great a photo.

"We may stop short of ignoring her here, though, as we have important work to do pointing out her shortcomings and unapologetic exploitation of her status as a party girl."

I know it's your job, but don't you think that it's the media attention, from blog posts like this among other things, that gives her that status?

Fine by me.

Um, anon at 11:40: I think Paris became famous for being famous about two years prior to the sex tape release.

Liz Kelly, you're alright.

12:51 I had never heard of Paris Hilton before her sex tape and I'd bet most people hadn't either.

Nevermind Paris: what is this "sex" that everyone's talking about?

and You call yourself a celebritologist?

pre 1 Night in Paris (2003)

Wishman (1991)
Sweetie Pie (2000)
Zoolander (2001; cameo)
Nine Lives (2002)
QIK2JDG (2002)

How can you even get a cameo if your not famous?

A list of other cameos in Zoolander:

Lance Bass
Billy Zane
David Bowie
Donatella Versace
Tommy Hilfiger
Shavo Odadjian
Fred Durst
Natalie Portman
Donald Trump
Victoria Beckham
Emma Bunton
Cuba Gooding, Jr.
Gwen Stefani
Lenny Kravitz
Tyson Beckford
Winona Ryder
Garry Shandling

How many of these famous people are unknown?

Shavo was in Zoolander? I didn't know anyone involved with that movie was a SOAD fan. Hunh. And Fred Durst, who I believe had a fling with Paris at one point. Of course, so did most of the less upstanding members of the music world...

If someone's willing to pay her for ir, more power to her in that sense. Horrible "role model", heck, Denis Rodman is a better role model, in a moral sense, but she certainly knows business.

i would have to concur... paris was famous for being a hotel heiress long before the sex tape.

Using google news and limiting the search dates to 2001-2002 returns 2,840 hits for Paris Hilton. Paris Hilton was in the news more often than half the people on that cameo list. Anyone who claims they didn't know who she was before the sex tape either wasn't paying attention or they're fooling themselves.

omni, you seem really invested your whole day (life?) in proving that Paris was famous before her sex tape. What are you? her publicist?

Liz Kelly,

Give omni a commenter of the week award.

kthxbai

I second that, 02:50p. omni had to google everyone on that list using the advanced search and write down the number of google hits for each one. Must have a White House job.

On second thought, omni just needs a Xanax. Right, Liz Kelly?

It actually only took five minutes and the simple ability of knowing when one number is smaller than another.

she wasn't "I'm king of the world!" famous before her sex tape, but she was famous. duh. why would her sex tape have any impact if she weren't already "someone". wasn't there a huge new yorker article on her and her sister right before it was "leaked"?

I'm not saying you should have known who she was, or that as many people knew who she was as after her sex tape, but she was "known" in the types of circles of people that follow the rich and famous.

So I have never heard of Paris Hilton before she skankily showed up in a sex tape? BFD!!!!!!!! My life is no worse for not knowing who she was. I wish to god I didn't know who she is now!!!!! She is still a vapid socialite who is a huge waste of space. If she were to go away tomorrow, would anyone be sad? So stop with the googling and the filmographies, because I'm OK with not paying attention to some bone thin skank who thinks partying is an occupation.

I bet it's just that people feel they know her better, now.

Well, originally I thought this whole Paris story was pretty boring, but the whole omni vs. anon (aka OH.MY.GOD.) thing really was entertaining. Thanks you two. And I was in a really crappy mood, but now I feel better - odd, huh?

On topic - I only wish there was an option for BOTH in bad taste and I agree with Tina Fey, sigh....

Paris Hilton is as dumb as a post. She's not even pretty (and rich only goes so far). Blecch. I may need a shower.

But back to champagne in a can...

Is that the proper drink to pair with d*ck in a box?

Ike Turner died

as long as Tina's still kicking, i'm ok.

Said Ike's surviving ex-wife Tina, "He beat me to the punch."

Omni,

Is that you Nicky?

Liz, I'd like to suggest that you/we/whomever fire the Post's IT department like immediately. First they made the discussion schedule impossible to find several months ago, then finally reversed it after everyone complained. Then they inflict the horrible, inexcusable, useless, idiotic linking on us. Now they've added an extra step to the process of finding the blogs - they're no longer listed on the drop-down menu. WHY ON EARTH would they make the decision to make us click on "blog directory," take us to another page, and choose the blog from there? Are you kidding? Why are they working so hard to give us a worse online experience? Has anyone who works for post.com ever actually used a website before?

Right. So I may have overreacted there a bit. I'm off to find some Valium or something.

uh, Stef, I'm right there with you, except I don't have access to a valium.

The blog pulldown was bad enough. Now it's a multi-step process which means I'm multi-stepping on over to another newssite with a more efficient directory system. Duh.

I thought I was the only one who hated the multistep process.

If we can get Celebritology readers to agree on this, that should tell you something.

Hey sunnydaze, glad to be of help.

Those who hate multi-step dances can put http://blog.washingtonpost.com/celebritology in their favorite places.

You're lucky she even performed for you bast*rds! Leave Paris Alone. PLEASE!