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Top Celebritology Moments of 2007
Sure, it's hackneyed and cheesy, but how can we properly ring out the year without a look back at the top Celebritology stories of 2007? From bald Britney to bad daddy Alec Baldwin, what a sordid ride it's been.
12. Spice Girls Reunion
Capitalizing on a trans-Atlantic move for Victoria Beckham and an Eddie Murphy love child for Melanie Brown, the Spices roared back into relevance in 2007 and are currently in the midst of a world tour. Victoria's July reality show was may-jor and Melanie almost topped "Dancing With the Stars." Zig-a-zig-ha!
O.J. Simpson in 2001. (AFP/Getty Images)
11. O.J. Simpson Arrested for Armed Break-in
Frustrated in his attempt to release a book detailing how he "might" have killed ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson, O.J. was arrested following a September Vegas incident which he describes as simply trying to recoup his rightful property and prosecutors describe as armed robbery. He'll stand trial on the charges in 2008.
10. Pam Anderson Divorces and Marries and (Maybe) Divorces Again?
Following her finalized divorce from a four-month marriage to Kid Rock in 2006, Pammy married Paris Hilton sex tape partner Rick Salomon in September. Earlier this week, news emerged that Pam had filed for divorce; but by Tuesday she said she and Salomon were "working things out."
9. Alec Baldwin Browbeats His Daughter
Baldwin took himself out of the running for Dad of the Year honors when he left this (NSFW) message on his 11-year-old daughter's cell phone in April. Saying he didn't care how young she was, Baldwin said, "You don't have the brains or the decency as a human being."
8. Rosie O'Donnell vs. the World
Authoress of a tumultuous year for ABC's "The View," Rosie O'Donnell used the show to take on Kelly Ripa, Donald Trump and co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck. All I can say is thank you for quitting, Rosie.
7. Owen Wilson Suicide Attempt
Wilson -- the happy-go-lucky star of "Night at the Museum," "Wedding Crashers" and a host of Wes Anderson films -- was hospitalized following an August suicide attempt.
6. Starlets in the Slammer
Led by celebutante Paris Hilton, 2007's must-have accessory for image-conscious starlets was a jail stint. At 22 days, Hilton served the most time, while Lindsay Lohan and Nicole Richie were both out in a little over 80 minutes. Hilton's hour-long "Larry King Live" interview was as enervating and stultifying as expected.
5. Isaiah Washington's Homophobia
The actor saw his career quickly evaporate after calling "Grey's Anatomy" co-star T.R. Knight a "faggot." Although Washington later apologized and attended "rehab," he was dropped from the show. He resurfaced on NBC's "Bionic Woman."
4. Bald Britney Spears
Following a brief image boost at the end of 2006 after separating from husband Kevin Federline, Brit set the tone for her year in February when she shaved her own head at a California hair salon.
Anna Nicole Smith, daughter Dannielynn Hope, Howard K. Stern and "Entertainment Tonight" co-host Mark Steines in Nov. 2006. (AP)
3. Jamie Lynn Spears Pregnant
A story so fresh, we're still reacting. Britney Spears's 16-year-old sister announces her pregnancy on the cover of OK! magazine, spawning a maelstrom of debate about teen role models, sex education and the Spears family.
2. Anna Nicole Smith's Death
Amid a looming paternity battle, one-time Guess model and reality TV show star Anna Nicole Smith died in a Florida hotel room just three months after the birth of daughter Dannielynn and the death of son Daniel. In April, photographer Larry Birkhead was found to be Dannielynn's father and given custody of the toddler.
1. Britney Spears's VMA Performance
For a few short minutes, Britney embodied our fascination with and reverence of all things Celebritological. We couldn't look away. We derided her while secretly hoping she'd have done better. We declared her career deader than dead, only to watch her top the Billboard charts. Yes, she's our Trainwreck of the Year, but also our poster girl.
Share your comments and other notable moments from the past year below...
By Liz |
December 20, 2007; 10:42 AM ET
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Posted by: Lisa1 | December 20, 2007 11:41 AM
#7 - Owen Wilson: Depression is neither funny nor entertaining.
Posted by: Anonymous | December 20, 2007 11:52 AM
Could Brit and her sis be co-trainwrecks? For all of her faults, at least Brit hasn't reproduced again.
Posted by: EricS | December 20, 2007 11:52 AM
I must say my favorite discussion was what happened yesterday - truly entertaining, but made me feel SO OLD - I am only 32!! :)
And I don't think anyone was saying that depression is funny/entertaining - this is just Liz's list of the "top" moments - because for most of these (except maybe OJ), the underlying issues/events are pretty sad.
Posted by: Betty | December 20, 2007 12:00 PM
"...for most of these (except maybe OJ), the underlying issues/events are pretty sad."
Not to bring anyone down, but, some people might say that the underlying OJ issue was that time when he stabbed, slashed and beat two people to death (which might also qualify as pretty sad).
Also pretty sad: the spelling, grammar and punctuation in the majority of those posts yesterday. It was lucky for us that in many cases those issues were camouflaged by the utter inability of the writer to have a point, arrive at a logical conclusion, or form even the most basic of sentences.
YIKES! (I just had a flashback to that picture of Lisa Marie and Priscilla Presley from a week or two ago.)
Posted by: byoolin | December 20, 2007 12:29 PM
By the way, lest anyone misunderstand: For *me*, the underlying OJ issue was that scene in "Police Squad" when he's in the wheelchair and goes careening down the stairs at the stadium.
As Banya would say: It's gold, Jerry! GOLD!
Posted by: byoolin | December 20, 2007 12:35 PM
You know, Britney's out of shape, but she's still not "fat." That still irks me. Also, I can't believe the head shave was Feb! My how time flies!
Posted by: not bluto | December 20, 2007 12:39 PM
Thank you for quitting Rosie O'Donnell is right. I cannot stand her and I hope we hear nothing from her in 2008.
Posted by: WI | December 20, 2007 1:27 PM
Speaking of Rosie, Off/Beat blogger Emil Steiner wrote in yesterday's thing that on Monday, her replacement - noted pundit, scientist and theologian Sherri Shepherd - talked about "taking her son to a "rich white folks' store," where the toddler had something of a meltdown. Much to Shepherd's chagrin... she couldn't physically discipline her screaming child.... As she put it, in an ever-so-Christmasy way: "This wasn't a store that looked like they beat the kids. So I had to do as the Romans do when I was in the Roman store.""
Steiner's thing is at http://blog.washingtonpost.com/offbeat/2007/12/sherri_shepherd_of_the_view_on_1.html
Posted by: byoolin | December 20, 2007 1:58 PM
Not that Sherri Shepherd would know anything about what the Romans did before Jesus.
Posted by: michael | December 20, 2007 2:05 PM
Romanes Eunt Domus!
Posted by: byoolin | December 20, 2007 2:12 PM
It was lucky for us that in many cases those issues were camouflaged by the utter inability of the writer to have a point, arrive at a logical conclusion, or form even the most basic of sentences.
Word, brother byoolin! I don't know which made me more crazy: that Celebritology was overrun by ill-mannered crazies with no critical thinking skills, or the fact that none of them could form an intelligible sentence. Ugh!
Posted by: niceFLguy | December 20, 2007 2:38 PM
But Michael you forget, according to Sherri the MENSA member Jesus came before the Romans.
Posted by: jes | December 20, 2007 3:18 PM
You ple leave Jamie-Lynn alone!!!! OR I will tell my barely literate ony-pay-hating, hatemongering, emoticon using friends to come and post on this chat 4-EVER!!!!!!!
haha - happy days - XO the ex cap
Posted by: OMG! | December 20, 2007 3:27 PM
Excellent "Life of Brian" reference, byoolin!
byoolin victor!!!
Posted by: Pompous Magnus | December 20, 2007 4:11 PM
Once I saw your #6, Starlets in the Slammer, I thought that I'd be seeing another "group moment" for #1:
Celebrity DUI.
And just to think, if Britney had kept away from that electric razor, we'd have room for Ellen's teary dog story or the Hoff's boozy meltdown.
Posted by: MoCoSnarky | December 20, 2007 4:53 PM
what a year! what a country! what a great bunch of posters and what a queen of the celebritology beat, ms. liz kelly! (what can i say, i've been at the office christmas luncheon and the local tavern for a couple o'very nice glasses of single malt...onies-pay for everyone!)
Posted by: methinks | December 20, 2007 4:54 PM
y-way r-ay e-way ot-nay lowed-ay o-tay eak-spay bout-ay onies-pay?
Posted by: b | December 20, 2007 5:27 PM
Thanks for the ony-pay methinks, I think I wish I was at your luncheon today.
Posted by: jes | December 20, 2007 5:27 PM
I am not surprise to see Britney is the NO.1. There are too many news about her in 2007. We can even find the news at a BBW dating site largeplacedotcom when she is overweight.
Posted by: bbiglovely | December 20, 2007 8:36 PM
The part I love most about the Sherri Shepherd story on the Off/Beat blog is the comments her defending her for just "speaking her mind" and bashing Steiner for "libel". Oh dear.
Posted by: SeaTac | December 20, 2007 10:42 PM
but what i really meant..
The part I love most about the Sherri Shepherd story on the Off/Beat blog is the comments defending her for just "speaking her mind" and bashing Steiner for "libel". Oh dear.
Posted by: SeaTac | December 20, 2007 10:44 PM
The comments to this entry are closed.
Honorable Mention goes to Shia LeBeouf for having the cutest mugshot ever.