Tori, do you mean playing a sex ed teacher in a new 90210 would be "gouge-my-own-eyes-out funny" or "like-a-root-canal funny"?

"Nudity/pornography," Joe Francis: "tomato/tohmahto." The typical self-gratification addict/customer of your Underage Girls Gone Wild videos are perhaps somewhat more likely to take a liberal view of the distinction, but your average judge tends to be more concerned with his next eLection, knowwhatImean?

So, you can make a diamond outta your dearly departed loved ones....there's a really great, sick joke in there somewhere but my brain is too full of Lost to really come up with a good one.

The diamond is a good idea, if only because it's so hard to make a ring or a necklace out of your stuffed dead dog.

That video was pretty good! I bet they get signed in a week.

Before you cremate your little snookums, be sure to shave all his hair, then you can have a sweater made from his hair while wearing him as a diamond on your finger.

Speaking as someone with 2 dogs, arent' there other things that can remind you of your pet, a favorite toy, their tags, the constant smell of urine that you can't find? Getting them stuffed, turning them into jewelry or making them into sweaters just sounds...weird. Next we'll be cutting off their head and mounting it on our walls.

Check out the website with the diamonds from cremains: http://www.lifegem.com/ - the rocks start at about $2700 for a .2-carat yellow diamond and go up from there (settings are extra). In a way it seems kind of nice, although I'd consider it more for people than for animals...but in most ways, it just seems icky.

Didn't Joe just come out of jail for his feelins towards underage girls and how wild they've gone on his tapes?

Of course Tori would "love to" do the new 90210. It's not like the scripts are beating down her door and she's got another baby coming and as far as I can tell her husband's income is tied to hers.

Until Paris returns to America without any kids, I'm going to have an uneasy feeling. On the upside she's at a school. What are the chances something sunk in.

When you consider all of the bad press that resulted from her first shoplifting arrest (not to mention the bad press from her last few films), don't you kinda wonder why Winona Ryder doesn't just show up at a really happening club or restaurant and slip a much better life into her tote bag when no one is looking?

regarding www.lifegem.com: does it remind anyone of that Tom Cruise (I know... I know... ) movie "Vanilla Sky?" I kept waiting for Tilda Swinton's voice-over.

Personally, I'd rather have Fido mixed into the dirt where I'm planting something special. ick.

OK, I just read that Joe Francis comment about nudity vs. pornography.

Wow.

Soooo....all those photos of naked children Pete Townsend & Pee Wee Herman had lying about & were viewing were really OK since they were just nude?

Our culture just has a different view of death than other cultures. Why are some so skeeved out by turning a body into a different form (e.g., a diamond)? It's no different than turning a body into ashes and keeping them in an urn. We are all, after all, just molecules -- if someone wants to honor the memory of a loved one in whatever way suits them, more power to them. It's not like she killed her dog to make a diamond! She just wants to remember her dog.

What year was Michael's flashback set in? The car he drove was an older model and the TV show that was on when he was trying to shoot himself in the head looked like a 70's taping of the Newlywed Game. The passport that Michael was given was valid from 1999 to 2009 so maybe not huh?

"...and the TV show that was on when he was trying to shoot himself in the head looked like a 70's taping of the Newlywed Game."

That would certainly explain the suicide attempt.

I hate the made-up word "cremains."

I can just picture how this came about. Kimora Lee is asked to judge Miss USA, she decides she needs a new ring to wear for the event, looked around for inspiration, spotted her dead dog, and "hey, I got an IDEA. . . ." Ew.

I'm surprised Joe Francis wasn't chosen as a Miss USA judge. He'd be perfect sitting there with Kimora Lee, Jerry Springer (I imagine he and Joe would find SOMETHING in common to talk about) and Heather Mills.

If Joe Francis *was* chosen as a Miss USA judge, the swimsuit competition would feature one-piece bathing suits.

(Bikini bottoms.)

I think I meant *were*, there.

""EB is very personal to me so I'm happy to be a part of this $1 million challenge," Cox said in a statement to The Associated Press."

Challenge? Wasn't Courtney Cox making $1 million an episode towards the end of friends?

The group of people listed in that article could get $1 million if they passed the hat at their next backyard BBQ.

"Joe Francis says it "doesn't matter" if alleged Spitzer call girl Ashley Dupre was underage in "Girls Gone Wild" video"

*shakes head*
There are no words.

Video experts have determined the Lindsey Lohan sex tape to be a fake. Experts stated "unlike the starlet, this lady can act!"

To Bored @ Work, while I agree with your larger point that Joe Francis is an ass, I think you could have chosen better illustrations than Pee Wee Herman and Pete Townsend. Most sources seem to agree that Pee Wee and Pete were both prosecuted on what amounts to trumped-up charges and neither of their cases involved having, as you allege, "photos of naked children...lying around." If your point were to involve Gary Glitter, on the other hand, I'd be totally on board (or Bored) with you.

Joe Francis is about the most misogynistic male I've ever heard. His unapologetic website written during his incarceration does nothing to mitigate my opinion. He came to Florida and stuck his metaphoric middle finger in the Good Ole Boy Network of Panama City who didn't like their daughters partaking of his particular brand of fun. Eleven months in jail is nothing. He's going to end up paying with his life -- if there is a just god, that is.

Come back to Florida, babycakes. We'll do you up right.