Someday soon I hope you'll get the chance to smell like you were dyin'.

"McGraw Cologne: Who says cowboys can't be metrosexuals?"

Does this perfume make me look fat?

Tim McGraw, the singer, inadvertently recoils from his first whiff of Tim McGraw, the fragrance.

Whaaat? I cain't hear a dang thing since I did that song with them Def Leppards.

You like my shiny gray suit?

(read in Vietnamese accent ala "Good Morning Vietnam")

Tim McGraw, is asked by an unknown reporter, "Is it true 'McGraw' smells like a**?"

("No," McGraw responded, "It smells like genitals.")

Mr. McGraw, Ms. Leibowitz is calling.

Country singer Tim McGraw reaches for another sample of the chief raw ingredient in his namesake cologne.

Mr. McGraw says that a bottle such as the one shown here "will keep a man smelling like a man for two weeks."

I just put a little dab of deer whiz behind my ear, and I'm ready for the next 12-point buck.

Hey, at least my pants aren't pleated!

(I got nothing.)

Tim McGraw's launch of his fragrance at a glitzy ceremony on a remote Pacific island is interrupted by a poison dart attack.

Yo, Timmy, carm down!

"Girlfriend, that Randy Travis thing can kiss my grits. If you want a real cowboy in the saddle, you call McGraw. All night long."

Tim McGraw reacts to the question, "Do you ever try on your wife's underwear?"

Tim McGraw cracks up the crowd with his Faith Hill impression.

Tug McGraw must be spinning in his grave.

Just one drop behind the ear will render even the toughest music critic completely immobile for up to 24 hours.

Choose either the 24 oz. bottle or convenient signet ring atomizer.

td wins.

Nice, td! (As was the first one.)

"Well," says Tim McGraw, "it originally started as a refreshing beverage, but it was just one of those happy accidents that the still was contaminated..."

Don't hate me because I'm redundant

He's got style, he's got grace, you want to punch him in the face.

I'm too sexy for my scent.

Inaudible pap asking a question.

TM -- "What's that?"

Inaudible pap asking the question again.

TM -- "Yes, that's right it's TIM. It's McGraw by TIM McGraw, not Phil."

Pleated Pants? Horrors!

Wow the back of my neck is on fire. This stuff stings... but in a good way.

McGraw by Tim McGraw: When you want that shiny new cowboy smell.

BTW - I hate when "celebs" name fragrence after themselves. If they want to sell the whole "smell like me and score babes" thing, they should be required to wear it - or be sent to Guantanamo as an enemy of the people.

Tim McGraw unveils the latest in Rodeosexual fashion.

Gary Busey says "If you put that cologne on me, I'm going to pull your endocrine system out of your body and make a pack out of it."

Tim McGraw: #1 hater of matte fabric, #1 fan of vogueing

Country Music don't stink of horsehit no more

The scent just makes me want to...to...sing (cue violins).

M Street -- bravo for the Gary Busey tie-in. Hysterical!

...and for 'rodeosexual,' M.

Mr. and Mrs. McGraw should never have left Timmy alone in the room with the photographer.

Nice, sunnyd...

Upon first reading the title, I thought it was in reference to Dr. PHIL McGraw jumping in to the Miley Cyrus photos fray a la Britney's breakdown.

So imagine my horror when I began reading about a new perfume! I didn't realize it was about TIM McGraw until the middle of the second paragraph.

I think I need to go lay down until I'm over the disturbing mental images that Dr. Phil and a "celebrity fragrance" just conjured up!

Fragrance to be followed shortly by a line of faux-tanning products, called "Keep Your Hands Off My Man Tan"

Hark! I hear the last of my self respect galloping off to buy new fragrance McGraw by Tim McGraw at a finer Wal-mart location.

Miley Ray Cyrus has nothing on me!

Keep the Faith!

I know we're all here to talk about my new perfume otherwise known as the man's manscent, but I think we need a sing-a-long: "Two eyes and ears...one mouth and nose, head and shoulders knees and toes, knees and toes."

Save a pony, ride a cowboy fragrance.

I call it "Eau de Sharkskin. And be sure to look for my new line of man products including McGraw McEyebrowWax, McGraw McManicure, and McGraw HatPolisher".

I was Playgirl's Sexiest Man of the Year in 1997, and I still got it ... b*tch

McGraw smells like a heady, frisky sugar rush of urban dance-pop come-ons in which Timmy finally gets into the hip-hop groove.

"I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty,
I feel pretty and witty and bright!
And I pity
Any guy who isn't me tonight!"

Be sure to bend at the knees when you lift the magnum of McGraw cologne -- I pulled my neck lifting this one onto the podium.

McGraw makes you "Walk Like A Man." "How bad do you want it?" Girls will scream "Put Your Lovin' On Me" and that is okay by you because "I Like It, I Love It, I Want Some More Of It." Let me tell you...
"It Doesn't Get Any Countrier Than This"

:-)

TV commercial: "just a dab of Tim McGraw behind your ear, you will hear David Beckhem's voice."

Oh, I do declare! Just one whiff of my scent will be enough to cure anyone sufferin' from those terrible, pesky, no-good vapors. But what do I know, I'm just a li'l old southern girl.

Also in the news: A Tim Mcgraw branded, limited-edition run of spicy jalepeno Fritos at Walmart! Now we know where all the leftover Frito flavoring went!! Muy Caliente!

In his best Scarlet O'Hara accent. "I do declare, just a lil dab and I feel like a boy of 15 again."

McGraw by Tim McGraw saving the environment, one bottle is all you and future generations will ever need.

McGraw by Tim McGraw a ten gallon bottle for your ten gallon man.

Oh, and I want to vote for td.

All of my votes go to yumdonuts. Brilliant!!

Free Prince Albert ring with every purchase.

I'm too sexy for my hat...

McGraw by Mcgraw: now available in economy size.

The fragrance completes the look.

"We call it 'McGraw' because marketing said 'Tough Ass' just wouldn't sell."

Baby, take off your coat...(real slow)
Baby, take off your shoes...(here, Ill take your shoes)
Baby, take off your dress
Yes, yes, yes
You can leave your hat on
You can leave your hat on
You can leave your hat on

"Now hoooooold on thar, Baba Looey! I'll do the "thinnin'" around here, and doooon't you forget e-it!"

Now where did I leave my bong...errr...Kabonger?

Sasquatch, I thought Joe Cocker sang "You Can Leave Your Hat On", or do you just prefer Randy Newman's voice?

'Cause I can feel you breathe
It's washing over me
Suddenly I'm melting into you
There's nothing left to prove
Baby all we need is just to be
Caught up in the touch
The slow and steady rush
Baby, isn't that the way that love's supposed to be
I can feel you breathe
Just breathe

McGraw, but get your own. Because you shouldn't touch another woman's man's package.

McGraw cologne: a little goes a long way (towards making you look like a jacka$$).

Methinks, both Joe Cocker and Tom Jones have covered "You Can Leave Your Hat On." Both versions (the Tom Jones version was used in the Full Monty)are much better known and liked than Randy Newman's original. During his live performances, Randy Newman often berates himself for performing the original in a lower key.

Randy Newman is one of the very few singer-songwriters from the late 20th century whose work will endure.

Yes, I farted.
People line up and pay big bucks to sniff my farts.

Tim McGraw finishes doing the sprinkler to I'm too Sexy for my Scent

"People line up and pay big bucks to sniff my farts." --Sasquatch

And I imagine they must smell better than McGraw by Tim McGraw.

Tim McGraw appeared embarrassed as he explained to the press that his new product, McGRAW, was a sunless tanner and not a cologne.

TD!!!

It wasn't me.

It was my CAPTION for McGraw.

Phew!

Caution: Do not apply to recently waxed skin.

"Does the bottle make my but look big?"

"Does this cologne make you want to grab my b@lls."

Sorry, Sasquatch, I got a little confused there. Hee hee. Whoops. . . .

MCgraw Cologne, Smell like you were dyin', er . . . Live like you were smellin uh . . . die like you were livin? Just buy the damn stuff . . . Is that Faith I hear

Gosh, another chink in my pop cultural education filled in today. I didn't know that Randy Newman wrote that song. I didn't know who wrote it, but it makes sense now. Thanks, Sasquatch.

This is way funnier than Booby Kennedy day. You guys are demented, and I mean that as a compliment. I have to stop reading now, not only because I have work to do but also because my neighbors in the office are starting to whisper about me cackling to myself.

Fine print: Free with every purchase of the supersized McGraw, one vinyl cowboy hat and a McGraw Man Bag cologne tote. Also, look for the new line of McGraw stain-resistant, wrinkle free suits coming soon to a Sears near you. So you, too, can look and smell McGrawlicious!

A preening Tim McGraw says, "Colin Firth ain't got squat on me."

"McGraw," the first in a new line of fragrances inspired by country singers.

Coming soon:

"Keith": Toby's new fragrance combines the manly scent of testosterone with a bitter undercurrent of bile.

"Parton": Smell just like Dolly with this intoxicating blend of silicone and hairspray.

"Nelson": The cologne that gives you the smell of Willie's tour bus, evoking burning cannabis with a hint of shredded tax forms.

And we have a new contender--well done, Porter!

DCJ and Petal make me laugh with these:

McGraw smells like a heady, frisky sugar rush of urban dance-pop come-ons in which Timmy finally gets into the hip-hop groove. --DCJ

McGraw by Tim McGraw a ten gallon bottle for your ten gallon man. --Petal

Nice work!

It's called 'McGraw'. It's illegal in 9 countries because it's made with bits of real McGraw, so you know it's good... You know, they've done studies- 60 percent of the time it works, EVERYTIME

"A little dab and I'll do ya." McGraw, the raw scent of rampant sex and reeking stupidity.

McGraw: Just a put little between your cheek and gums and a whole lot behind your ears.

MoCoSnarky's caption, in part:

"McGraw: Just a put little between your cheek..."

-----------------------------------------

Which cheek are we talkin' 'bout here, Snarky??

"Hmmm, is that my career I hear going somewhere?"

Porter's mention of Willie Nelson reminds me that it's his 75th birthday today.

I can't get there from here, but there's fine video on Youtube of him performing his song "Superman" with Snoop Dogg.

methinks it's LeiboVitz!

McGraw by Tim McGraw helps keep real men in touch with their feminine side.

Yes, I know it's Leibovitz. Didn't feel like making the correction.
Thanks, Get it Rig,Ht.

McGraw by Tim McGraw. Now you too can smell just like my pits. Whooee, take whiff of this.

methinks it's LeiboVitz!

--------------------------------

You probably think it's BOBBY Kennedy, too, don'tcha?

Tim McGraw gets a whiff of his own cologne and starts acting out the lyrics to "Dontcha wish your girlfriend was hot like me."

With a moniker like "Sasquatch" I'm surprised you ain't never heard of "Skoal", "Copenhagen" or any of those other fine chews baseball players seem to like.

OK...I'm dating myself. Yes, I am old enough to remember when chewing tobacco AND cigarettes were advertised on the TV.

Yo fatty, carm down & try this here McGraw.

"My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard..."

Chief Snarky writes:

OK...I'm dating myself.

---------------------------------------

Do you have to get yourself drunk before you can take advantage of yourself?

Seriously, Old fart Sasquatch also fondly (But don't ask me to fondle you) recalls hearing the theme from The Magnificent Seven on Marolboro commercials.

McGraw by Tim McGraw: Warning use of this product may cause Faith Hill to come slap your girlfriend while screaming "keep your hands off your man wearing my man's scent"

Tim McGraw poses by his cologne and we wonder - what was Faith Hill worried about?

Mcgraw ur doing good at ur job keep working every one loves it and loves u. U do what u got to do. evry one is just hating on ur smell.

Tim McGraw launches his new fragrance, Brokeback Mountain Spirit, and announces he's left Faith Hill for Carson Kressley.

I also want to vote for M Street. (S)he's Tim's #1 fan, ready to take out any haterz.

Even McGraw could hear the sound of Hank Williams turning in his grave.

Sasquatch, I remember those cigarette commercials -- the problem is, they're mixed in my memory with George Carlin's riff on them.

* Taste me, taste me, c'mon and taste me
* Winston tastes good like a cigarette should

Perhaps Tim McGraw would do well to mine that era of advertising now for his cologne?! Never mind, bad idea.

Yo fatty, carm down & try this here McGraw.

Posted by: jes | April 30, 2008 3:50 PM
***********

I liked this one.

McGraw: It's a fragrance and an engine oil additive.

"Ah made them call it after me so's Ah wuddn't fergit the name of it", admitted Tim McGraw at the coming out party for his huge hat, er, um, new scent.

Can you smell what The Graw is stewing in!

Thanks fan-tastic - that was the best laugh I've had all day. My own pitiful submission is

McGraw - smells just like ... (wait for it) ... money.

We marsupials just rub our scent glands around, but I guess this is just about as good.

oh DAMN! someone upstream already got the caption that immediately came to my head: "I'm too sexy for my hat"