Oh, how I want Miley Cyrus dead and gone.

One good thing to come out of Charlton Heston's death:

A new flavour of Soylent Green!

I keep waiting for the Beyonce/JayZ wedding to be announced that it's part of that Ashton Kutcher show where he's punking the paparazzi & press.

I know, Bored, me too -- but do you think alleged wedding guest The Insouciant Gwyneth Paltrow would stoop to participate in such flummery?

I guess now it won't be too difficult to pry Chuck's gun from his cold dead hands.

jaybbub, Outstanding contribution!

*blushing* Gosh, thanks.

If we can't be disrespectful and inappropriate in Celebritology, where can we be?

Am I the only person who doesn't get why Jay-Z is famous? To me, he's just a puffier version of Meschach Taylor from "Designing Women." Whatever.

Ving Rhames?! Excellent.

Gasp! Heidi supports candidates but isn't registered to vote? What is the world coming to? What a loss for McCain.

wow - i think today's comments are snarkier than usual. Do we all have a case of the Monday's??

I'm surprised that Jay Z and Beyonce are still rumor mill since I feel it's been pretty much confirmed everywhere else.

"a puffier version of Meschach Taylor"

Outstanding!

Byoolin, if you were having old friend Charlton for dinner, would you pair him with fava beans and a fine chianti?

Shopping at Wal-Mart on your birthday?

Way to remember your roots, Jamie Lynn: I thought you told the girls at Big Lots you weren't going to start shopping at upscale places when you got famous...

I'm surprised that Jay Z and Beyonce are still rumor mill since I feel it's been pretty much confirmed everywhere else.

Posted by: sjcpeach | April 7, 2008 10:24 AM

Yeah, but they never even verified they were dating.

Oh, how I want Miley Cyrus dead and gone

That is a pretty bad thing to say about a 16 year old kid.

"Way to remember your roots, Jamie Lynn: I thought you told the girls at Big Lots you weren't going to start shopping at upscale places when you got famous..."

Ah, byoolin, Wal Mart is upscale from Big Lots. When she starts shopping at Target, then she's really hit the big time.

td - maybe you've never heard of a little song called "Big Pimpin'" aka the best song ever and the theme song to my life.

I wonder if Jamie Lynn got the unlimited salad bar. The people demand to know!!

Oh, how I want Miley Cyrus dead and gone

That is a pretty bad thing to say about a 16 year old kid.

Posted by: | April 7, 2008 10:55 AM

Ok, how about just GONE?!!

but if Miley left public life, how would Billy Ray get his exposure?! He'd have to pimp out one of his other kids.

So glad I don't have daughters, or else I'd have to actually deal with that Miley thing. Ugh.

All this talk of Big Pimpin, Big Lots, and Miley Cyrus is making me queasy -- must be lunchtime. I hear there's Soylent Green at the unlimited salad bar....

from the Bruce Willis/Ving Rhames story:

"The story is set in a future where humans live risk-free lives through robot surrogates that are eternally young."

Then what the heck is Bruce Willis doing in this movie? Isn't he like pusing 60 now? (ok, 53 -- i checked -- but, man, really?)

Note to ALL celebs: Please notice that Jay-Z and Beyonce managed to date for six years AND get married without being crushed by paparrazi. Amazing how quiet you can keep your personal life when you simply refuse to discuss it. Also, it helps to have family members who have their own means of income and don't need to sell you out to get money. (not commenting on how much I hate Big Pimpin' because it glorifies human trafficking)

Speaking of marriages, Charlton Heston's wife was at his side as he passed away. They married in 1944. Today's celebs could learn something from this about making a marriage last.

Every gal should have a bun in the oven, go to Ruby Tuesday's and Walmart on their 17th birthday! After that pinnacle of existence, it's all downhill.

(in whiny voice) Liz Kelly, I keep getting this stupid page:

"We are unable to locate the page you requested.
The page may have moved or may no longer be available"

when I try to open your second post.

EP could not have said it better. I hope Beyonce and JZ live a long and happpy marriage.

So sad about Charlton Heston.

"Today's celebs could learn something from this about making a marriage last."

Why bother? All that work, and he up and dies on you. At least Amy Winehouse won't have to worry about outliving her husband.

[Hmm. Bad example...]

Despite Chuck Heston's beliefs, he gave me many hours of enjoyment from Omega Man to the original Planet of the Apes.

He was an overactor of Shatner caliber. Or should I say that Shatner was an overactor of Heston caliber since Heston came first?

Whatever, I've always dug Heston the actor, not the NRA spokesperson.

Charleton Heston was both under and over-rated, but he was real. He said what was on his mind, stuck by what he believed. I can sign on to a guy like that. Besides, his Bible epic movies were some of the favorites of my youth. They were so...so cheesetastic! Ben Hur is still one of my all time favorite Easter movies.
And who can forget his snarled line, "Get your filthy hands off me you d***, dirty ape!" in the original, the best, "Plant of the Apes."
I had the opportunity to take my children (they were really young at the time) to meet Heston when a friend of mine was interviewing him. He was so nice, spent time talking to them one on one. It was a thrill, even though (as is so often the case) he was much shorter in person. RIP, Charleton Heston.

Is it my imagination or is Billy Crystal morphing into Jack Benny?

Or am I just an old fart because I'm old enough to know who Jack Benny is?

Regarding Jessica Simpson, am I missing something? I would rather die than be on a cover of a magazine shaving my face.

I will be so disappointed if Beyonce and JZ really got married on an apartment rooftop. How ho-hum. I expected an all out gala with diamonds and champagne and plenty of pap pix. I am also of the hope this that is one big Punked episode.

Poor Jamie Lynn. Her whole family goes out to a fancy restaurant in LA on her birthday...and she's stuck with Ruby Tuesday and baby daddy? She must be getting so sick of her sister.

excellent post, ep. And I have to agree with methinks that Heston was pretty cheesetastic and that's what made him so watchable.

OK, I don't watch these shows so tell me --when you appear on Idol Gives Back does that mean you are hip or a has-been? I couldn't tell from the photo.

To get to Liz's other post, go from the wopo main page to News Columns and Blogs. If you click on it there, there's no problem. If you go News>Entertainment>Celebritology = problems.

Yes, add my thanks to ep for some truly thoughtful comments today.

(You don't always have to be mean just for the sake of trying to prove how clever you are. I'm not up for any Mother Theresa awards myself, but I don't understand wishing Miley Cyrus, Amy Winehouse, Blake Fielder-Civil, or anyone else would die just so you can get a cheap laugh out of it.)

BTW, something the WaPo article didn't mention was that Charlton Heston marched w/ Martin Luther King during the civil rights movement and it was something he was always proud of. He followed his own path, and didn't necessarily try to fit into the mold that others wanted to put him in.

My favorite Heston movies were The Big Country and Ben Hur, but I confess that I still love Planet of the Apes, Solyent Green, The War Lord, Midway, and many others--cheese and all! (Probably even because of the cheese.) He wasn't always a great actor, but he was a pretty great entertainer.

I can imagine Billy thinking "I've hosted how many Oscars and I play seccond fiddle to who?!"

To get to Liz's other post, go from the wopo main page to News Columns and Blogs. If you click on it there, there's no problem. If you go News>Entertainment>Celebritology = problems.

Posted by: RiverCityRoller | April 7, 2008 2:12 PM

Still can't leave comments, though.

Or am I just an old fart because I'm old enough to know who Jack Benny is?

Posted by: MoCoSnarky | April 7, 2008 1:57 PM

------

No, MoCo, you're an old fart because you taught him to play the violin. :)

Those of you following RiverCityRoller's guidelines will be disappointed to learn you still can't post comments. Feel free to mockingly refer to RCR as "BayCityRoller" as payback.

Don't forget "Khartoum" as another example of fine Charltoncheese. It was on TCM just last week (how many movies was he in where his character died at spear-point, anyway????).

I gotta learn to type faster.

Since I can't leave a comment on the other post, here goes:
Congrats to byoolin (how many times do we gotta write that??) for his breathtakingly original idea for punishing Naomi Campbell.
Kudos to Liz Kelly for handily um...handling..Jan's comments re: the use of Wikipedia. Where else are you gonna find the up to the minute Naomi Campbell police blotter. (oKay, the Smoking Gun, but still)
I think the Insightful Comment o' the Week was truly insightful but it was kind of scary to consider the use of "man-crush" Clooney reading Nursery Rhymes to convicts. Salt peter anyone?

I totally agree about Clooney's voice... his voiceovers for Budweiser spots are perfect.

Byoolin muses:

"At least Amy Winehouse won't have to worry about outliving her husband."

Does that mean her husband gets the F-me pumps as part of Amy's estate?

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.
Humpty Dumpty got shot off the wall
by guards trained to prevent inmates going over the wall.
All the King's horses and all the King's men
learned never to try escaping again.

There was an old woman who lived in her shoes.
She willed her F-Me pumps to Fielder in Cell Block Two.
He was traded for smokes and then for some bread,
Was beaten in the shower and whaled on in bed.

Liz, do you think Weingarten will still speak, er, type to the rest of us mere mortals now that he's been Pulitzered?

Still no Pulitzers in the category of Fixin' Your Effin' Web Links.

Still no Pulitzers in the category of Fixin' Your Effin' Web Links.

Posted by: byoolin | April 7, 2008 4:01 PM

LOL...I think the Post people are preoccupied right now.

Totally apropos of nothing, but I saw this website listing actresses who looked like they smell bad.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23998905/

Includes: Olsen twins, Kirsten Dunst, Helena Bonham Carter, Pam Anderson, and Cameron Diaz.

The accompanying male list includes Colin Farrell, Matthew McConaughey, Johnny Depp, Jared Leto, and Orlando Bloom.

MEOW.

BTW, I think all the Posties are going thru cases of champagne today. Hangovers all around tomorrow.

Since I have no thoughts to share about celebrities today, I would like everyone to know that at about this time every afternoon, the woman in the next office over gets really flatulent.

h3, should we all chip in and buy your company a proper end-of-shift whistle?

h3 notes:

"I would like everyone to know that at about this time every afternoon, the woman in the next office over gets really flatulent."

h3, have you considered anonymously leaving a jar of Beano on her desk? Perhaps a Whoopee cushion in her seat? How about changing the nameplate on her office door-cube to "Dame Flatus"? Maybe hanging out in her office after having lunch at an all-you-can-eat burrito bar?

"OK, I don't watch these shows so tell me --when you appear on Idol Gives Back does that mean you are hip or a has-been? I couldn't tell from the photo."
Posted by: ame | April 7, 2008 2:10 PM

Not sure, but what I do know is that segment of Idol is really phony... Howard Stern was ranting about that on his show. The Idol show does not really give back as much as the audience does. It in essence a telethon, where the AUDIENCE gives, not that frickin behometh Idol production (which could easily slice off a percentage of their ginormous revenue and give back).

As for B and Jay, congrats to them- I think they're the genuine thing and don't appear to thrive off the attention and unnecessary photos, etc. I can't say I'm enormous fans of either of their stage talents (don't have one Beyonce or DC CD and only have Jay's "hard knock life, vol2") but they are certainly smart behind business folks. They keep it classy.

RIP Charlton Heston.

Congrats Posties on the Pulitzers- don't get too drunk tonight.

Jack the informer hid in a corner
hiding from Stabby the goon.
Up came Big Frank with a prisonyard shank
And a shiv carved by hand from a spoon.

This motherf_____ went to Sing Sing,
This motherf_____ did Riker's,
This motherf_____ got the needle,
This motherf_____ made bail.
And this motherf_____ went
'Wee wee wee' to the motherf_____ feds.

Stop! Try to read this interested book:,

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