When it comes to insults, that Star Jones has got *game*!

Q: Why does R. Kelly need a trial delay?

A: One of his character witnesses is on a class trip to Chuck E. Cheese that day.

That blonde fur coat has probably gone places even the Travelocity gnome hasn't gone.

Frightening line from the piece that immediately follows the Seacrest/King thing:

"[Jamie Lynn] Spears says that older sister Britney has been giving her [parenting] advice."

Good Lord the crazies are back in the TC comments this morning. And I thought we had outlasted them...

Selena Gomez can actually act, which is pretty scandalous for a Disney tween-show star in its own right.

Star Jones usally annoyes me but I have to agree w/ her on this one. The only reason Babs spoke about her affair was to sell books. Totally not fair to the family of the man, actually, outright selfish.

Also "totally not fair to the family of the man, actually, outright selfish," is Edward Brooke getting it on with another woman.

Will someone tell Ryan Seacrest that he has enough money and doesn't have to work that much? What doesn't this guy do?

I say I am voting for Seacrest for Pres. With that kind of work ethic...

Yeah, I feel the same way about the Star Jones thing.

When I first saw the headlines, I thought maybe she was speaking of a man who had since died. To bring it up so publicly while he's still alive? Tacky, tacky, tacky Ms. Walters.

And really, she didn't have to go after Star Jones. Not a Star Jones fan, but she's pretty much reaped what she has sown - no need to kick a girl when she's down.

Oh - and the fur coat thing? Who on earth puts an $10,000 mink into a "communal bin"? Even if you are with a whole bunch of other rich people?

That is NO way to treat a fur coat, lady. Especially in the presence of someone as unstable as Lindsay Lohan.

Byoolin, they were separated and living apart, and he, quoted in the Reliable Source earlier this week, took the classy high road, noting that he has made it a pratice in his life not to comment on or reveal personal details about his life because they affect other people. Baba Wawa has no such compunctions.

Star Jones sure knows about marriage, herself, being married to Big Gay Al.

So its ok for Star Jones to ask her collegues to lie for her? All Barbara Walters pointed out was facts. Star Jones lied about having gastric bypass surgery and wanted the other ladies to lie as well. Also during her wedding planning she was obnoxious. Nothing that was said about Star Jones was not only true, but was something already known. I don't understand why Jones is making a big deal about this...oh right, she doesn't have a job or any reason to be on t.v.

"It is a sad day when an icon like Barbara Walters, in the sunset of her life, is reduced to publicly branding herself as an adulterer, humiliating an innocent family with accounts of her illicit affair and speaking negatively against me all for the sake of selling a book. It speaks to her true character,"

Dang, that's a smack down that shall last for months to come.

No no no no no, Mariah you don't tatoo anyone's name on your body. Have you learned nothing from Wino forever Depp?

Oooooh Friday list idea, the possible things Mariah could change her tat into.

Yeah, like "Mrs. Cannon Fodder."
Honestly, why on the back? Is this some secret window into the sexual practices of the Cannons?

Ok, that Lohan fur coat story is totally weird. There's not only the fact that the owner of an $11,000 mink coat apparently thought it was ok to put it in a communal bin. But also the fact that said coat owner is a college student. I don't know about you, but my parents didn't send me off to college with an $11,000 fur coat. The $100-ish dollar Eddie Bauer coat (my college was in a cold place) was exciting enough.

There's a Miley Cyrus chat today...too bad it's probably too early for the Tweeners..

Shouldn't the Lohan thing be in the crime watch? It could be a FELONY! It would be the new trial of the century..

"Mrs. Cannon, if you're nasty." The change not because of a divorce, just to be awesome...

Further down in the Miley link is a link to "Justin Timberlake sympathizes with victim Cyrus." If quoted correctly, Timberlake actually makes sense. What is the world coming to? I may have to go out and buy his CD.

OK, at first I thought the idea of Ryan Seacrest replacing Larry King as another example of how we are dumbing down this country. Then I read this:

--------------
"The only thing I don't know, and I've gotten to know him pretty well, is how versed he is in politics, world affairs. Does he read the paper? Is he interested in Iraq? Because if he is, he's going to be very good."
--------------

And I realized, when was Larry well versed in anything? The man can barely sit up and read his prepared notes without dozing off. Ryan might actually be a step up (and believe me, I am no fan).

Ryan Seacrest talking about Iraq, though? ("We'll tell you which troops going home . . . right after this break!") Nope, I just can't see it.

Exactly how many Long Island celebrity moms are there? I'm mean that pool must be pretty shallow for Dina to "win."

Oh Mariah, that tat is as big a warning sign as your publicist issuing a "the Cannons' marriage is strong" statement. We can only wait with bated breath for the vow-renewal ceremony, then we'll know for sure it's all over. Way to go.

Clearly, someone needs to sit Star Jones down and give her a little "Yo fatty, carm down"....

Didn't Mariah Carey say recently that she never wanted to have kids? Now she's talking about wanting to have them? I realize its a woman's prerogative to change her mind, but sheesh, that was fast (so was her courtship with Nick Cannon - so I suppose I shouldn't be surprised).

The Mrs. Cannon thing on the back is so he can see her halfway down the red carpet at the Grammys.

"Hey wait, that's my wife!"

The tattoos are a matched pair. He has "Mr. Cannon" tattooed where the man in the joke with the punch line, "Welcome to Jamaica, mon, my name is Andy," has his.

Mrs. Cannot believe I married this guy.

I know it's a little lenghty, but I think it will be accurate pretty shortly.

Do Mariah Carey, Oprah Winfrey, and Oprah's-Pal-Gayle-King (has Gayle changed her name to that? She might as well) have lunch together on a regular basis or something? That US article makes it sound like they periodically trade tat stories over coffee.

And petal, the best thing I could come up with for a Wino Forever transformation is something like "I Miss Cannon" accompanied by an ink mugshot of William Conrad -- something every two-time divorceé hoping for third-time-lucky wants imprinted on her back, I'm sure.

"We'll tell you which troops going home . . . right after this break!"

"...something like "I Miss Cannon" accompanied by an ink mugshot of William Conrad..."

Man, td is *on* today!

Bravo, sunnydaze! You win! Hysterical.

Hate to admit watching the View, but I remember back when Star began losing the weight she would say on the air she preferred not to discuss how she was doing it because it was a private matter.

Hey, maybe Linds is just doing her own version of throwing red paint on fur coats by tearing the lining and having it reek of Lindsey Lohan before returning it.

Barbara Walters was way out of line. She should have respected Star's wish to keep it private. I have no respect for her ever since she brought that ugly, fat hag Rosie on her show.

Long Island Celebrity Mom list -- it's interesting...

"Celebrity moms - from Alec Baldwin's and Howard Stern's to Jerry Seinfeld's - were invited to receive the same "Top Mom" award tonight. The honor, according to Mingling Moms president Erica Logiudice, notes their "behind the scenes" contributions to their children's "tremendous careers.""

http://www.newsday.com/entertainment/ny-etdina065675313may06,0,5304986.column

Wonder how the other Baldwin bros feel about the slight?

I read somewhere else that Sarah and Emily Hughe's mom was also on the list. At least some of the proceeds went to a good cause (which could explain the Hughes' nomination).

why do you guys hate lindsey so much? she's awesome!!!!!!!! she probably was just borrowing that coat from that hater-girl! lindsey4ever!

While I won't jump on the 'fat' part of no_bs4me's posting, aren't all the View ladies ugly hags?
I find that the View, and all daytime/nighttime talk shows to be nothing less than garbage of the worst sort. Baba should be embarrassed not of her affair, but of the crass infotainment she has foisted upon the unthinking masses of America.

Wow, did anyone else read the story that goes with the M. Lohan quote? That therapy seems to be working wonders for them.

Here's the last 3 paragraphs:

"I've allowed him visitation once a week, so I don't understand why he's doing this. He's jealous that I got the award. He even called the organizers and tried to talk them out of giving it to me."

Dina fears that Michael will now try to contact her directly. She says she has a restraining order against him until 2011 she thinks he'll violate.

"He's using the media to talk to me," Dina said. "I'm getting nervous. Lindsay came to town two weeks ago and wanted security guys there in case he showed up. His parole officer needs to see what he's doing and realize that he cannot address me directly or indirectly. He wears a tracking device and they'll know if he comes anywhere near me. He's on a mission to destroy me."

He wears a tracking device and they'll know if he comes anywhere near me. He's on a mission to destroy me."

Wow, paraniod much?

Thanks for the shout out td, you're not doing too bad yourself!

As much as I dislike Star Jones, it almost seems like Barbara Walters is flaunting her affair with that man...like it's something that will help her to sell copies. That's disrespectful of his family. Like the affair wasn't painful enough for his family at the time, she has to resurrect it for entertainment value in her book? Few people on the planet have led a more exciting life than Barbara Walters - I think her memoir would have sold whether she mentioned being a homewrecker or not.

"why do you guys hate lindsey so much? she's awesome!!!!!!!! she probably was just borrowing that coat from that hater-girl! lindsey4ever!"

Posted by: luvlindsey | May 8, 2008 10:51 AM
=========================================
This is a joke right? Which one of you guys did this? sunnydaze? byoolin? Sasquatch?

"Madonna to kick off "Sticky and Sweet" world tour" -- hey, word has it she may even sing and do a formal concert or two.

Man, I feel for her kids. How do you explain to your friends why Mom's CD is called "Hard Candy" and her concert tour is "Sticky and Sweet"?

I mean, c'mon, in August she'll be eligible for AARP membership -- isn't she a bit old for the Hootie & The Blowfish-esque juvenile titles?

It weren't me.

I love Star Jonesbecause she's a strong, successful black woman. Like Oprah. And she will trade on her reputation and every last shred of dignity to get paid. Like Oprah. And she has a frighteningly big head, which threatens to roll off her neck and crush those who gather at her feet, buy her crappy merchandise and attend to her every whim. Like Oprah.

No wonder Babs is ascared.

I think you guys are just a bunch of haters. Lindsey and her mom are great role models for all of us. Lindsdey is just doing stuff that all of us do, but she has the press taking her pix doing it. so there!

jake e. poo - Not it! I would have used the word(?) alsome - not awesome....

I just checked back to the Miley Cyrus BKD and there are now 519 comments running through today. alex has pointed out another new word for the clebritolexicon:

"Now if a sex perdator had a picture like that he would be arrested. Point taken.

Posted by: Unkown | April 29, 2008 2:55 PM

******************

This has got to be one of my favorite comments from the whole thing. Good times.

SEX PERDATOR

Posted by: alex | May 7, 2008 7:28 PM"

sex perdator - that is good stuff. It's aldmost pornorific.

Has anyone seen the Lohan story in the Daily Mail?

I'm no kinda Lohan apologist, but if that chick (Masha Markova, not LiLo)is 22, I'm a blue-[censored]ed baboon. If I were in Ms. Markova's place, I'd fold up those bags under my eyes & put them under the kitchen sink before I'd get all litigious..

There's another one at 11:11 am. The new post is up, its about Barbara Walters, I think we'll be safe from the Texting Tweener Tw*ts there.

I never thought I would say this "I agree with Michael Lohan". OMG, I need a drink.

(I promise I'll stop posting after this one. I actually do have work to do.)

Regarding Oprah's "frighteningly big head," someone else also mentioned this recently. I remember a story about how lots of famous people (women only?) have oversized noggins -- and that such an attribute is part of their appeal.

Vanna White, Nancy Reagan, and Marilyn Monroe were the three names I recalled, but for some odd reason Google is of no help when I type in:

"vanna white" "nancy reagan" "marilyn monroe" large heads

Stupid internet. . . .

Dear Lohan fan,

no, not all of us drive drunk, crash our cars, start a car chase, steal someone's $11,000 coat. I am much much older than Lilo and I some how managed to make it to this ripe old age without ever getting arrested or going into rehab. If all kids think this is what you're supposed to do, I truly fear for the future of our world.

Ooh, I want to see the "22"-year-old! Link please, Little Miss Muskrat?

Lindsdey is just doing stuff that all of
us doPosted by: Lohan fan | May 8, 2008 11:11 AM

Uh, No. No, Lohan fan, "all of us" do not go around stealing from other people. Many of us do not drink and drive. At least some of us do not take drugs such that we need to go to rehab. So, no, actually she doing "stuff" that many of us do not do.

Also, her name is Lindsay, not Lindsdey

I really hope the blog does not get invaded again. Although the new words are fun.

Great responses to the tat change. So far I've hit the wall trying to come up with an entry. I keep trying to work a carm down fatty into it and wind up giggling.

would be a great name for a band, by the way. My other big head celebs include:

Lara Flynn Doyle (although it could be the case that her body is super tiny and her head is normal sized - like the reverse of the Lincoln memorial)

Helen Chenowith (not technically a celeb but a former member of Congress, which counts only in WDC)

Tyra Banks (she counts because she has a huge forehead)

My nomination for comment of the week:

"That blonde fur coat has probably gone places even the Travelocity gnome hasn't gone.

Posted by: methinks | May 8, 2008 8:38 AM"

As for the invaders, I keep having to stop myself from telling people at work "yo fatty, carm down."

We may need to invoke the p*ny rule.

Did anyone else notice that the Russian woman whose coat Lindsay stole was wearing a Marilyn Monroe t-shirt. Wonder if that was some kind of jab at Lindsay for her Marilyn-inspired photo shoot in the New Yorker.

The woman who gave the award to Dina Lohan didn't realize it would cause such negative publicity. Apparently, she is related to Vanessa Hudgens.

Good Lord the crazies are back in the TC comments this morning. And I thought we had outlasted them...

Posted by: PGM | May 8, 2008 8:45 AM

Don't those folks know that the whole TC thing is sooooooo 5 minutes ago?

We've moved on to bigger & better subjects like sex perdators, fur stealing & stupid tattoos that appear on Mariah Carey's hindquarters.

i bet LiLo was as carm as a cucumber when she stole that coat!

You guys just dont get it - dina is an awesome mom. She's the best kind of parent - the kind who you could really talk to and hang out with. Lindsay is so lucky to have her!

leave lindsay and dina alone! they are the best! that girl is jealous that the coat looks better on lindsay than her and dina is such a cool mom, she looks like lindsay's sister and not her mom!

I think the Lohan defense posts are jokes. This is disturbing, but the grammar and spelling are too good for them to be real...

Sigh--you're right. They have to be a joke--they're just baiting us.

That's exactly what I was thinking, Sigh.

umm, no dina is not a role model.

Depending on how much room there is between the words and letters, and how creative her tatoo artist is, maybe she can make some extra money by turning the tat into an ad:

Camera? Cannon!

Whatevs. Yu guys are just jelous that lindsey and dina are awesome. All you haterz dont have a response for that!

i don't know about you folks but star jones is who i use as my moral compass.

maybe r.kelly keeps pushing his trial date back in the hope that the kiddies will turn 18 in the mean time?

pete and ashley getting married next week ... i guess mariah getting married trumped ashley's baby rumor.

Too bad the tats on her back --

Mt Cannon, N.H. - Scale the summit!

Whatevs. Yu guys are just jelous that lindsey and dina are awesome. All you haterz dont have a response for that!

"Whatever. You guys are just jealous that Lindsay and Dina are awesome. All you "haters" don't have a response for that!"

Nope. No response required. I wish I was a cokehound skank with a tanking career, a hanger-on mother, and a familiarity with our justice system. We all do.

at least dina isnt a adultrerer like barba walters!

Okay, who's in for a road trip?
We need to pack tranquilizer darts, buckets, water and a map to the stars' homes. I really want to get to the bottom of this famous-ladies'-heads theory.
And put me down for 1 gallon for Oprah in the pool. No pun intended.

My Cannon is explosive or needs black powder or needs big ammo......etc.

okay - it's gross, puerile humor

wow...

Dina and Liho are not role models in any sort. If Dina was one, maybe Liho would still be Lilo, making movies and "America's sweetheart."

sunnydaze, that advertising idea is awesonme! Imagine if Depp had thought of it. Wino may have been something else. I'm not sure what but I bet that other folks have the creative juices rolling.

if dina wasnt such a role moedel, then why did seh win the mother of the year award? and i agree, linsey just borrowed the coat from that other girl

Maybe Dina used the Lilo's Georgia Rules line:

"Leave us alone, or I'll F*** your boyfriends stupid."

Or in Dina's case..
it'd be:

"Vote for me, or I'll F*** your husbands stupid and make sure the paparazzi are there."

Something tells me that the pages of Craig Ferguson's booze-filled, punk rock, construction worker memoir will have a whole lot more to say about the human condition than anything in Barbara Walters' "Audition."

Huh. Yes, I am suspicious of the lindsay-defending posts. Comments from TTTs are only fun if they come from *real* clueless tweens.

I think people are trying to revive the euphoria of the Miley and Tom Cruise posts by pretending to be text happy teens.

unmute - He could have just left it alone and rented it to Winona State University.
Or how about Windstream? Or wasn't there a Windsong perfume - kind of a female Stetson or Old Spice type of thing? Windsong Forever!

Even liz said Dina was a great mom in her chat 2day!

sunnydaze: I can't seem to forget you; your Windsong stays on my mind. . . .

See none of y'all can come back at me! woo hoo - dina and linsey rulez!!!!!!!!

Folks, I wish I could take credit for some of the posts that would put Ashton Kutcher's best punkings to shame. Alas, alack, I am not the father. I have split my day between condo renovations and workplace meetings.

I could not help but notice the juxtaposition of the Mariah Carey tattoo story, the Nicole Richie traffic school story and the Amy Winehouse crack story. Ever since then the music and lyrics to "Crosstown Traffic" have been playing in my mind's ear over and over and over:

"I'm not the only soul who's accused of hit and run
Tire tracks all across your back
I can see you had your fun
But darlin' cant you see my signals turn from green to red
And with you I can see a traffic jam straight up ahead"

Someone go get a mop...dina rulez just punctuated all over the floor.

Area 51 inBawlmer wwrites:

"Someone go get a mop...dina rulez just punctuated all over the floor."

-----------------------------------------
Great, just great.....

Wait'll she gets hold of a Thesaurus.....

Nice one Bawlmer.

whatevs balmer. youre just jelous that dina and linsey rule and you arent as cool as them.

/bow
The server's been down at work for the past three days; I need to direct my energies somewhere.
Also, doesn't "Blond Fur Coat" sound like the title of LiLo's next, uh, art film?

Dina rulez with:
"See none of y'all can come back at me!"
--------------------------------------

Dina, please diagram the following sentence:

Texting the Celebritology Blog with incomplete sentences that were vague anf full of misplace punctuation gave much joy to texting tweener Dina, who would have violated the rules if she could spell "rules" with an "s" instead of a "z."

Let us know when you have completed this assignment. You have three years to do so.

Good luck. You'll need it.

you're just a hater. dina and linsey rule, you have no response. they're cool and awesome, and you cant touch them. you wish you were like dina!

I SO wish I was a middle aged drunk divorcee with an out of control young daughter. Ah, wouldn't that be the life.

Them: Dina rulzzzz

Us: Her underage daughter got a dui, probably after partying with her all night.

Them: Watevr. u'r just jelus.

Us: She clearly uses drugs and is trying to pimp out her kids. Her daughter is out of control and went to rehab because her mom endorsed her partying and actualyl joined in.

Them: You got nuthn! Urrr so jeluos cuz there cool and u arnt.

Us: Ok.

Them: Yeah! You got no cmbeback! we're rite and u'r just jealuos cause their sew cool

(sigh)

Even if the pro-Lilo posts are jokes, that's exactly how the tweeners have been reading on other posts. So alarming.

Dina sets the Rulez 4 Sassqwatch with regard to Dina and Lindsay Lohan:

"they're cool and awesome, and you cant touch them."

-----------------------------------------

Dina, all I have to do is to wave this bottle of Patron under their noses, and I can do *anything* (heh-heh-heh) I want with them.

Howard Stern is going to be sooo jealous.....

td writes about Madonna:

"Man, I feel for her kids. How do you explain to your friends why Mom's CD is called "Hard Candy" and her concert tour is "Sticky and Sweet"?

I mean, c'mon, in August she'll be eligible for AARP membership -- isn't she a bit old for the Hootie & The Blowfish-esque juvenile titles?"

---------------------------------------

td, you're not the one who wrote that Babs has nice legs for a 70-something year-old, are you?

Given the choice between AARP Madonna and Babwa Wawa, I know which I'd rather see in leopard pattern 4-inch pumps.

Will Ashlee Simpson lip-snych her wedding vows?

Hey Sasquatch--"Dina" won't know what Patron is. Better make it Peach Schnapps.

Bear writes:

"Hey Sasquatch--"Dina" won't know what Patron is. Better make it Peach Schnapps."
-------------------------------------------

Excellent point, beaker!

Now that I think of it, would LiLo know the difference, or would she care?

From the NY Post article about the fur coat:

" A Columbia co-ed wants to know how Lindsay Lohan ended up wearing her $11,000 blond mink coat - and is demanding the "Mean Girl" pay for the impromptu rental.

Masha Markova, 22...."

--------------------------------------------
WTF is a 22 year-old doing with a fur coat reputed to be worth $11K? Her grandmother gave it to her? I take it that her family also paid cash for her tuition, room and board at Columbia. And she now doubt has a new 3-series BMW parked in a $100/day garage near campus.

Seems to me that Markova and LiLo are two riyoch biyotches who deserve each other.

td, you're not the one who wrote that Babs has nice legs for a 70-something year-old, are you?

Given the choice between AARP Madonna and Babwa Wawa, I know which I'd rather see in leopard pattern 4-inch pumps.

Posted by: Sasquatch, who wears sensible flats | May 8, 2008 5:13 PM
------------------------------

No, Sasquatch, I am NOT the BW leg man. (Side Note: Speaking of legs, thank God we've moved on from talking about that certain U.K. gold-digging former nudie model pageant judge.)

If my desert island choice is BW or Madonna, um, yeah, Madonna. But only if Other Liz packs tranquilizer darts, buckets, and water for me first.

Hey -- how come no one has combined two of our newest catchphrases yet? Repeat after me: "Yo fatty, carm down with the swirl!"

i'm pretty surprised that this selena gomez girl can actually ACT!!!!!! if she keeps on doing the things she does, takes on more serious roles in the FUTURE, there is a oscar chance for her! my children love hannah montana and watch it, but their new love is for this new girl selena and i have watched her on her tv show, and did my research on her, she is a GORGEOUS girl (seriously, my husband thinks she's gorgeous) and seems like a smart, bright girl who knows what's right form wrong and seems to have common sense in her.

I thought Star Jones' comments about Barbara Walters were right on. I am so tired of hearing Barbara brag about her hot, steamy affair and not seeming to have any remorse for her actions. It is absolutely repulsive.

I think Barbara is very brave for having affairs with married men. Hill and I think Babs is a terribly sexy woman with needs. Who cares if the men are married? Not me! Here in Harlem sex with married men is business as usual, so what's the big fuss? Beside marriage vows are just guidelines rather that hard and fast rules, right Hill? I used to be a lawyer before I was disbarred, I should know. You go Babs!

What if Star and Barb were to instant message?
http://www.236.com/news/2008/05/08/if_they_imd_star_jones_and_bar_6412.php