"In 1983, [Vanessa] Williams became the first black Miss America. She surrendered the title in July 1984 after Penthouse magazine published nude, sexually explicit photographs of her taken several years earlier."

Sigh. Also lost in the fire.

Lindsay Lohan will play "a young woman who pretends to be pregnant to avoid being fired."

So it's not set in the U.S.A., then?

(RCR, good work on the 'Eh,' a few minutes ago, btw. I'll speak to my people and they'll let you in.)

I look at the picture accompanying the article and I just can't believe Amy Winehouse's husband would be willing to give her up.

I imagine Amy reacting in the same way Judy Greer as Kitty did in Arrested Development: "Say goodbye to *these*!"

$1.75 is too money to spend on Perez Hilton clothing line. His line will at the discount bins by July.

Liz Kelly, I think you got the Jessica Simpson quote wrong: surely it was ""I wore my Daisy Dukes. My dad was so cute. He was like,'Thank you for wearing your Daisy Dukes.'"

I am really confused about what is going on over on the Tom Cruise board from yesterday. Why are these weirdies asking Liz Kelly to write a political blog? Is one of the nuthatch blogs down today, or what?

Folks, please, this is NOT a political blog - if and when we want politics we go to a political blog, not an entertainment blog! Thank you for your kind attention to these important matters.

sunnydaze-I've found its best not to look at comments after around 11 am central time. All of the "cool kids" post early in the am, and all the weirdies (your word) come knuckle dragging in the afternoon.

Its amazing how normal Liv Tyler looks, like an actual human being of normal size.

Amen, jelo. I think she looks great.

Re: the TC column - Maybe the Thetans were alerted to the fact that we were trying to have a little fun at Tom's expense

Poor Perez Hilton... he doesn't seem to get that, while his blog is popular among 18-25 year olds, this is not a guarantee that his clothing line will succeed. After all, folks don't have to admit to reading the blog. And many will deny it. Hard to do that when you've got his "brand" pasted across your... feet.

Sorry to break it to you Jessica, but the troops were only glad you wore your Daisy Dukes because it was the only way they could endure your singing.

I'm confused, why would anyone want to look like Perez Hilton?

Liz -Why no mention of Lindsay Lohan stealing a woman's $11,000 mink coat from a nightclub? There were numerous photos of Lindsay wearing the mink in the days after it disappeared. After the victim saw the photos of Lindsay wearing her missing coat in the tabloids she contacted Lindsay's lawyer and then the coat magically was returned. What a coincidence.

Best line in any Celebritology-linked article today:

"In 1990 [Charlie] Sheen was engaged to actress Kelly Preston, but the relationship ended when he accidentally shot her in the arm."

Oh, jelo, that's when it really gets fun - when the crazies wander by. I suggest sticking with it one day.

I agree that Liv Tyler looks great--just like a normal person with a normal figure. Unlike Amy Winehouse--gal needs to eat a sandwich. Make that several.

So anybody can just have their own clothing line now? I was at Steve & Barry's over the weekend and along with SJP and Venus Williams, Amanda Bynes has her own clothing line, and I'm like "who the f**k is Amanda Bynes and why does she rate her own clothing line?" So being a long time member of the Celebritology Club, I rushed out of the store and drove home with much haste and looked her up on IMDB. Funny enough, still didn't answer my question as to why she rates her own clothing line. And now some guy who knows how to cut and paste and makes snarky comments get his own line?

I think the Perez line will do well. It's obviously for 14-year-olds, it's gonna be dirt cheap, and at their favorite rebel-against-my-parents store. It's also a celeb line they can afford, since most tend to be higher "fashion." People wear those t shirts with his slogans.

He's interesting, because he's a total leech and writes snarky things about the celebs he hates (Dunst) and slavishly praises or reluctantly criticizes the ones he loves (Minogue). But it's a little more that that (maybe not much more). He shows interest in some current events (Castro) and writes about them to maybe educate the texting tweeners. He hightlights new, little-known bands and charities. It's easy to knee jerk hate him, but I sort of find him interesting, even if a ltitle distasteful. I wish Liz could get another interview with him and analyze him.

[ahem] Someone I know, uh, you know, my friend, has a pair of pajama shorts from the Amanda Bynes line at Steve & Barry's. They're super cute. And comfortable. And don't make me think of trainwreckerifficness that was What a Girl Wants.

Wasn't Amanda Bynes in that movie with Colin Firth?

gwen and porn??? since when was that even a consideration?? Doesn't winning an Oscar gives you some sort of "Pass Go - collect $200 (million)"?

Why was it even brought up?

Lilo, Paris and etc. (dingbats: Heidi/Lauren/etc.) on the otherhand... Oh what the future has in store...

Isnt theft of something more than $10,000 a felony? Way to go LiLo!

White Oprah - aka mother of the year - should be so proud!

WOW - I TOTALLY stopped reading the blog yesterday way too early (and missed the excitement of this morning!) WOW! Too funny!

"Why was [Gwyneth Paltrow acting in porn] even brought up?"

Now, see, *that* I'd watch.

And since we're on the topic of porn, Traci Lords turns 40 today. It seems like just 25 years ago she was lying about her age on model releases.

yes, Colin played her father.

And even if you happen to be a person who is in love with Colin Firth, you don't really need to see What a Girl Wants.

Congrats to Vanessa Williams! I went to Syracuse the same time she did, (actually, I lived in the same small bldg she did) and I was drinking in Faegan's Pub the Saturday night she won Miss America. What a celebration that was! Syracuse also won their football game that day. Good times! It's all coming back to me now.....

Luckily for Kelly Preston, Charlie Sheen is no William S. Burroughs.

Oh. My. Gawd. I just went back and read yesterday's afternoon comments. I hereby rescind my comments advocating the avoidance of postings made later in the day. Hi-larious!!

Oh and: I'm really unsnarkily happy that things seem to be going better for Britney at the moment. Let's hope it's a trend.

Amanda Bynes is actually very popular with teen-types (she was in a very popular show on Nick a little while back) which is who her line at S&B's is aimed at. The reason you don't know who she is, is that she's not out partying like a lunatic like the rest of the young women we mostly read about on this blog. She works, does the school thing and minds her own business. As a woman well past her teen-type years I find her quite charming and funny, although she has yet to get that one big break out role, I think it's only a matter of time.

Star Jones had gastric bypass ... that turned her into a squirrel? Seriously, how long has she looked like that? I haven't seen her in ages.

I think I enjoy the tweeners more than the folks on the TC blog now. They're a little scary.

I think I enjoy the tweeners more than the folks on the TC blog now. They're a little scary.

Posted by: RiverCityRoller | May 7, 2008 10:34 AM

Yeah, check out Helene's post...

just read over today's posts on yesterday's blog entry...now I have coffee all over my monitor.

what up? did a psych ward just get a bunch of free computers with Internet?

Whoa, that Helene. She *tried* to make a point (and she even used capital letters and punctuation) but just couldn't get the grammar straight. Sample sentence: "I didn't know Washington Post hire retards."

Luckily for Kelly Preston, Charlie Sheen is no William S. Burroughs.

Posted by: M Street | May 7, 2008 10:28 AM

************

All those posters from yesterday are scratching their heads and saying, "What?" at this.

M, have you ever heard REM's "[Star] Me Kitten" with Bill Burroughs doing the vocals? Cool stuff.

I can't beleive I missed BKD in Scientology form. On the upside I have reading material for lunch.

Yeah, I was just over there. Apparently fleas have ATMs or some such. It won't stop. I can't get any work done this morning because I can't stay off the Tom Cruise blog.

Oh and about Star Jones, not only did she lie about having the gastric bybass surgery, but didn't she write a book about how she lost the weight through diet and exercise?

I hear you, Jake. I'm at the point where I'm considering figuring out how to get Firefox to block the whole Post website, 'cause clearly my self-control ain't doin it.

h3, you could download the Adblock extension and block the 'washingtonpost.com' domain, but then you'd disappoint Liz Kelly and she'd park her car on your street, send you handmade cards and bother your housekeeper.

Believe me, you don't want that.

Star Jones gets a pass on the lying, if only because one should assume that what one sees on the televizzle is 99 and 44/100ths % BS.

In fact, the only thing on tv that is guaranteed to be accurate are the results of the surveys they use on "Family Feud."

So far nothing on par with "Yo fatty carm down." Surely Tom's posters can out do the texting tweeners.

From Justine at the TC column:

But the ROCKERFELLAS ARE THE ROCKERFELLEAS!
Live of us they do!
Every ATM transaction anywhere at anytime has Fleas that is paid to the Rockerfelleas, Did'nt you know that? And how much money is that!? More than you can think with.
_________________________

AH HA! It's actually Yoda over there. "Live of us they do!"

Thank you Thetans?
That is exactly what I thought too, but I was so distracted by the Fleas (note the capitalization!) being paid to the "Rockerfelleas," that I just couldn't get to the Yoda thing.

These people, strange they are. Meds they need.

OK, what the heck are "Daisy Dukes?" Hooters? Cut-offs? Pasties? Sorry, I misplaced my Redneck Dictionary.

Charlie you are not marrying kind. Accept it. Look how well not marrying worked out for George Clooney. Although Clooney never used hookers.

Guess Uma's stalker found out that the "Nobody explained to me that schlubby guys have no chance with Uma" defense doesn't work.

Oh yeah, why did the Hills get renewed??? Why??? Why??? Why???

Daisy Dukes = cheek-high cut-offs. Only the classiest of girls choose Daisy Dukes for their summer wardrobe.

I agree h3- I'm glad Britney seems to be pulling herself back onto an even keel. I hope she keeps it up.
And I'd like to nominate "more money than you can think with" as the best explanation of why common sense and wads of cash don't mix.

Daisy Dukes = cheek-high cut-offs. Only the classiest of girls choose Daisy Dukes for their summer wardrobe.

Posted by: Thetans? | May 7, 2008 11:33 AM

As in Daisy from the Dukes of Hazard TV show from the 80's that's on TV Land or CMT or something.

::looks over the comments at the TC post since midnight::
Liz, did you drop a crate of feral monkeys on your computer last night?

M, have you ever heard REM's "[Star] Me Kitten" with Bill Burroughs doing the vocals? Cool stuff.

Posted by: byoolin | May 7, 2008 10:41 AM
__________________________________

No, but I'll have to check it out now.

Thanks.

All righty, now, everybody! It's Seventh Innign Stretch Time for Charlie Sheen! Everybody up on your feet to sing the chorus to Take Me Out to the Old Marriage Ballgame:

"And it's ONE
TWO
THREE Strikes
Yer OUT
At the Old Marriage Game!"

The problem is that Jessica Simpson's Daisy Dukes Display supports only those troops who like women. What about those troops who prefer a Manly Man in a pair of Daisy Dukes? Hey, Stallone! It's not like you're doin' much these days! Show us your HGH-enhanced glutes!!

If Jessica Simpson REALLY wanted to show support for the troops, she'd auction off her uuuhhh....attention...for charity.

The least she could do would be to flash them.

I'm sorry, Perez Hilton. I'm holding out for the Amy Winehouse collection.

re: Daisy Dukes.

And we thought the TC thread skewed young.

Daisy Duke was the little sis on the "Dukes of Hazzard." She wore the very short shorts named after her.

Holy crap the TC comments are awesome. Byoolin, congrats on your promotion to "tycoon" although I'll always think of you as "Captain Byoolin Snarkster-extraordinaire" in my heart of hearts.

For you TV column fans -- maybe the troops would be cheered by seeing Jessica's "shoes."

OMG! The stuff I miss when I don't log in early or check yesterdays posts!! In text/IM speak, ROLFMAO!!

Sounds like the TC Fan Club was out in full force & emailed all of the New Canuckia group to come & invade our happy little Celebritology world. What a crazy pirate-esque raid huh?

Good times...good times.

We really should have our own message board instead.

Anyhooo....if Gwyneth mentions not doing porn, does that mean that there is/was a possibility she was ever offered a porn gig that she turned down.

I shudder at the thought.

I would be remiss if I didn't remind everyone that the 2nd episode of Farmer Wants a Wife is on the CW tonight, right after the (so exciting!) 2nd to last episode of America's Next Top Model.

Hey jelo, what about us way out here on the left coast? ;-)

And here I thought we sometimes made cool comments. Darn.

re: Daisy Dukes.

And we thought the TC thread skewed young.

Daisy Duke was the little sis on the "Dukes of Hazzard." She wore the very short shorts named after her.

MoCoSnarky - I am guilted by my geekiness to point out she was a cousin.
*cringes*

Yesterday's comments are hilarious! I can't wait to see if they come back today! I didn't get a chance to snark at any of them!

MoCoSnarky - I am guilted by my geekiness to point out she was a cousin.
*cringes*

Posted by: NC2 | May 7, 2008 1:14 PM

I'm glad you pointed that out first...LOL.

LOVED that show...

Hey jelo, what about us way out here on the left coast? ;-)

And here I thought we sometimes made cool comments. Darn.

Californian-the Left Coast isn't all that far behind time-wise. Just visit WaPo before checking your work email.

Mariah Carey has made how much money and the best she could do for a wedding veil was a white sheer curtain? Yeesh. It looked like the curtain that used to hang in my grandmother's front room.

Agreed, methinks. As my grandmother used to say, "Money can't buy taste." Of course, this is the same woman whose overall decorating theme was macrame.

NC2, you're not alone - I saw caught it too! How mortifying! (Must channel Jane Austen to cleanse brain of Dukes of Hazard facts.)

saw... caught.... whichever verb you choose. It's a verbal buffet.

In Hazzard County, was there any difference between sister and cousin?

Come on...

I wonder if Helene is the same Tom Cruise obsessed psychotic Frenchwoman who's on the E Online chat boards. Her mission in life is to destroy Nicole Kidman through the internet. She likes to insult strangers and has often said she hopes that American soldiers are killed overseas. Ironically her name on E Online is "justpeace"

Good lord. I just went back and read the Tom Cruise comments. I think I wet my pants.

Tallulah, I didn't see anyone that venomous on the Tom Cruise comments. Just a lot of crazy incoherent people. Ah, crazy incoherent people - how I love 'em.

These are the funniest damn comments I think I've ever read. Y'all should carm down and start a flea circus...

Colbert spells his name "Stephen."

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