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Archive: Paris Hilton
Paris Hilton's Cheesy Smackdown
Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian and her assets in 2006. (AP) One thing's for sure -- it's hard to come up with a creative, fresh-sounding insult. After all, we've been dissing each other for millennia. For example, there are only so many ways you can say someone's got a large backside. Well-worn gibes range from the mild, almost complimentary ("junk in the trunk") to the scathingly severe ("wide load"). But, it would seem we've heard them all. That is until last week, when one Paris Hilton -- mainly known around these parts for her chart-shredding single "Stars Are Blind" and her humanitarian missions -- lobbed this dirty bomb of a slight at long-time pal (and noted carrier of junk in the trunk) Kim Kardashian's posterior: "It reminds me of cottage cheese inside a big trash bag." And so a new standard for anatomical insult-flinging was set by Hilton, who surpassed...
By Liz | April 17, 2008; 10:43 AM ET | Comments (33)
Paris Peddles Her Party Girl Rep
Feeling rich: Hilton is on hand to launch the new Rich Prosecco campaign in Berlin today. (Marcus Brandt/AFP/Getty Images) Nothing says class like champagne in a can. Unless that nothing is a gold spray-painted Paris Hilton writhing on a cracked, post-apocalyptic Earth. Sounds kooky, I know, but maybe kooky does wonders for canned champagne sales? In any case, the gold-encrusted Paris (NSFW) is the new face air-brushed body of Rich Prosecco. A promotional Web site for the 21st century Zima describes it as "The perfect "starter drink" for your night." Apparently the copywriters stopped short of adding "have several hours before your arrest on suspicion of DUI -- just like our poster girl, Paris Hilton!" And that is the crux of what most bugs me about this ad. There's just something impertinent about a woman who has a record of driving while intoxicated hawking "starter drinks" to anyone who...
By Liz | December 12, 2007; 10:42 AM ET | Comments (42)
Celebritology 101: Parsing Paris
Photographers wait to feed our feeding frenzy with more Paris Hilton pix during her brief respite from jail last Thursday. (AP) A year ago we named Paris Hilton the most over-hyped celebrity. We'd had enough of the ditzy blond pout, the brain-dead gaze, the entitled ennui -- this celebutante scion of a hotel empire who had found fame as a party circuit and reality show star had already worn out her welcome with we astute observers of celebrity culture. Of course, we had no idea that we were engaging in premature condemnation -- about as effective as pooh-poohing cigarette smoke in 1947 or feeling a bit skittish about Vietnam in 1959. And like those two insidiously defining plagues of recent generations (lung cancer and the fog of war), Paris Hilton, too, has transcended her rightful place as a tabloid tart to become a cautionary tale for millennium, the kinkajou...
By Liz | June 11, 2007; 10:43 AM ET | Comments (41)
Paris is Sobbing
A stricken Paris Hilton. (AP) Paris Hilton is back in the slammer. After a day of ever-evolving courtroom plans and a media circus with at least three rings, Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Michael T. Sauer ultimately ordered that she serve her 45-day sentence in jail. In addition to weeping en route to the courthouse, Hilton apparently screamed out for her mother after the judge's decision was announced. So what do we think now? Is everyone still as outraged as they were yesterday? Or are we starting to feel a teensy bit sorry for the "Simple Life" star, who probably longs for the days when her biggest problem was feuding with Nicole Richie? And what's the assessment of all the media coverage? Personally, my two favorite moments this afternoon were: a. when an MSNBC reporter pointed out that Pauly Shore had just driven by the Hilton residence and b....
By Jen Chaney | June 8, 2007; 03:26 PM ET | Comments (251)
Report: Paris Checks Out of Jail
Paris Hilton was released from jail this morning after serving three days of her 23-day sentence for violating probation in an alcohol-related reckless driving case. (Her jail time was reduced from 45 days to an expected 23 days for "good behavior.") The Hilton heiress and "Simple Life" star will spend 40 days on house arrest. There definitely seems to be some fuzzy math involved, as 23 - 3 does not = 40 days last time I checked. Adding to the sense of confusion: Sheriffs spokesman Steve Whitmore says she was released because of an unspecified medical condition. She voluntarily reported to prison Sunday night, shortly after appearing at the MTV Movie Awards. Let the outraged reactions begin (and they already have) in the Celebritology comments section. Update: Fuzzy math clarification -- as explained in Bill Booth's Post story, the sheriff's department is using "generous math," giving Hilton credit for having...
By Nancy Kerr | June 7, 2007; 09:27 AM ET | Comments (266)
Celebritology Clip n' Save: Paris's Prison Primer
A subdued Paris Hilton leaves the Los Angeles Municipal Court Metropolitan branch Friday. (AP) Late Friday afternoon, when most of us law-abiding types were turning our attention to happy hours or "Spider-Man 3," Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Michael T. Sauer earned himself a life-long berth in Celebritology history by sentencing one Paris Whitney Hilton to spend 45 days in county jail as punishment for violating her probation. Hilton is ordered to report to the Century Regional Detentional Facility in Lynwood, Calif. on June 5, where she will -- we assume -- find out how simple (try three squares and an in-cell latrine) life can actually get. To help Paris through her 45-day exile, amateur celebrity correctional consultant Lisa Todorovich and I offer a few survival tips: 1. Pre-planning prevents poor performance: Review this comprehensive list of chicks-in-prison-flicks for cues from Pam Grier, Tanya Roberts and Wendy O. Williams...
By Liz | May 7, 2007; 10:43 AM ET | Comments (33)
Paris Hilton Gets Jail Time
Lucikly, Hilton is already comfortable in black-and-white striped clothing. (Reuters) Late-breaking news this Friday evening -- Paris Hilton has been sentenced to 45 days in jail for violating the terms of her DUI probation. According to the Associated Press, Hilton "will not be allowed any work release, furloughs, use of an alternative jail or any electronic monitoring in lieu of jail, Superior Court Judge Michael T. Sauer ruled after a hearing." Hilton is expected to begin serving her sentence on June 5th. Court Documents: People of the State of Calif. v. Paris Hilton Prosecutors' Motion To Revoke Paris Hilton's Probation...
By Liz | May 4, 2007; 08:07 PM ET | Comments (41)
Paris and Nicole, Together Again
Together again, BFF! (AP) Paris and Nicole are together again. After 18 months of successfully hating on each other (and simultaneously collaborating on making lots of money) the hatchet has been quietly buried courtesy of a steak dinner and a sleepover. "We are back!" the two said before driving away from Dan Tana's steakhouse Sunday night. Although it's still unclear why the feud started in the first place, the back-and-forth sniping between the "Simple Life" co-stars became a staple of tabloid pages and the blogosphere for the past year-and-a-half. Perhaps the tension between the two was no longer necessary since Paris now has a real rival in the form of Shanna Moakler, who she claimed punched her last week at a Hollywood night club. Or maybe the reconciliation was "encouraged" by the producers of their reality show, so they wouldn't have to go through the hassle of filming them...
By Liz | October 10, 2006; 10:44 AM ET | Comments (20)
Paris vs. Nicole, Again and Again
Sadly, they even compete for the best sultry over-the-left-shoulder pose. (Photos: Reuters/Getty Images) AOL, long recognized as a purveyor of quality Internet content, has a present for us. Two, in fact. Both Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie are featured in two new debuts over at AOL Music: Nicole's in dad Lionel Richie's video for the new song "I Call It Love" and Paris' album, "Paris", is now available for free streaming in its entirety. Paris' New Tracks | Nicole's Video Debut What timing. It's as if the poor things are in their own velvet-roped circle of hell in which they are doomed to some kind of eternal competition for bad relationships, bad outfits, bad diets and bad press (not necessarily in that order). How do the girls stack up in what has become, yet again, a mano-a-mano contest? My grades are below (Scale of 1 - 10 with 10...
By Liz | August 16, 2006; 10:44 AM ET | Comments (17)
The Unsinkable 'Simple Life'
What kind of cruel trick are you playing on me? Is it that you're trying to slowly drive me insane and fill me with self-doubt? You know who you are and you know what I'm talking about. For those of you out there who are blameless, though, I'll explain: As reported yesterday, E! picked up "The Simple Life" for yet another season. Record ratings, they said. Feh. My initial nausea subsided quickly enough, but a lingering unease about this revelation continued to grow over the past 24 hours and I have only now figured out why. (I mean beyond the fact that this faked "reality" show features the dunderheaded exploits of two vacant rich kids who purport to hate each other ever existed in the first place.) Simpletons Richie and Hilton. (AP) When I wrote about Paris and Nicole and their inane little show last month, I had almost unanimous...
By Liz | July 13, 2006; 10:42 AM ET | Comments (15)
It's Official: Paris Hilton Most Over-Hyped Celeb
The votes have been counted and -- minus complications from pesky Diebold voting machines, hanging chads and unpredictable Academy members -- we can safely declare the winners of the inaugural edition of the annual Celebritology Honors (aka The Lizzies). Let's bypass the tedium of an intro montage featuring Billy Crystal and a green screen and get right to the winners, who will be faxed a printout of this page suitable for framing! (Reuters) Celebrity Most Likely to be Insignificant if it Weren't for the Paparazzi and Celebrity Tabloids/Blogs The nominees: Kevin Federline, Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie, Lindsay Lohan, Janice Dickinson, Taylor Hicks And the Lizzie goes to... Paris Hilton. Paris couldn't be here to accept this award so I'll just congratulate her on her talent for staying in the news while doing approximately nothing. The unprecedented interest in her social life, catfights with equally the vapid Nicole Richie and Lindsay...
By Liz | July 5, 2006; 10:45 AM ET | Comments (15)
Forget Paris (And Nicole)
On Sunday, the new season of the Paris Hilton/Nicole Richie ditz-fest, "The Simple Life: Till Death Do Us Part" premiered on E! Not wanting to miss the season finale of "The Sopranos," I dutifully recorded it. I watched it last night. (AP/E! Networks) I loathe both Paris and Nicole and my threshold for watching them and actually having to listen to them talk is about four minutes. I somehow made it through about nine minutes of this show before deleting it from my DVR and gouging out my eyes. It was the equivalent of holding my breath underwater for nine minutes. In which case, eat my shorts David Blaine. The fact that Hilton and Richie are even still doing the show together -- despite a very public, long-running feud -- is suspect. Particularly since they don't address the source of the falling out. The only reference to their animosity is...
By Liz | June 7, 2006; 10:43 AM ET | Comments (13)
Paris Is Burning Me Up
I'm a celebrity newsaholic. I scarf up miniscule updates about Angelina's pregnancy (she may be induced on June 3rd) and literally lost four hours looking through the wire feed of entertainment photos. This is some kind of sick compulsion, I know, and I'm sure each glossy tabloid purchased and hour spent watching E! is killing off brain cells. Am I smiling because I'm paid to smile or because I'm paid so much to smile? (Getty Images) I take some comfort in the fact that I am not alone and, like most of you who check in here each day, I do try to keep my appetite for celebrity news in its proper place. I walk my dog, pet my cat, pay bills, exercise, hang out with the husband and read most of the paper each day (note: all of these -- except dog-walking -- can be done while watching E!)....
By Liz | May 25, 2006; 10:44 AM ET | Comments (57)
