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Archive: Creative Captioning
Creative Captioning: Dynamic Duos
Da-na-na-na-na-na-na-na: Has Beens! Don't look now, but an unlikely pair shared the same airspace at Tuesday night's match up between the L.A. Lakers and the Boston Celtics: Sylvester Stallone and Eddie Murphy. Rambo and Gumby. Rocky and Bowfinger. I could go on. But, more importantly, where did Sly find the acid washed jeans? What's with Eddie's Velcro kicks? And what, I wonder, is Stallone thinking as he looks, umm, sly-ly at his seatmate? I can hardly wait for you to tell me. (Getty Images) And, for those of you who (like me) are suffering from debilitating "Lost" withdrawal, I offer a second photo in need of a little caption TLC. Behold co-stars Jorge Garcia and Naveen Andrews having a little fun at the Monte Carlo Television Festival (who knew?) yesterday. But, surely we can come up with a better cutline for this comedic pair. Bonus points for working Smoke Monsters...
By Liz | June 12, 2008; 10:43 AM ET | Comments (103)
Creative Captioning: Quick Draw McGraw
Creative Captioning, once banished to the land of canceled blog features, is back. At least for today. Why? Because we've finally got a picture worthy of our wit. You have below a celebrity, a fragrance, an image and one seriously weird pose. Do your best (or your worst). There has to be a certain amount of ego that goes along with naming a fragrance after one's self. Sure, at the most basic level, this is all marketing -- celebrity fragrances (for some unknown reason) are guaranteed sellers at Wal-Mart -- and chemical conglomerates make big bucks by branding their concoctions with soft focus images of Britney Spears and J.Lo. But, naming that fragrance "McGraw by Tim McGraw" screams "TIM MCGRAW TIM MCGRAW TIM MCGRAW!!!" You see my point, I think. Why clutter up one's stink with the stank of extraneous words like "perfume" or "cologne" or "stud" or "glam...
By Liz | April 30, 2008; 10:42 AM ET | Comments (116)
Creative Captioning: Fashion Week Fur Pax?
Since last year's final episode of "The Sopranos," its former stars have been turning up in the darndest places. Lately, for instance, Paulie Walnuts (aka actor Tony Sirico) has been starring in the latest Denny's commercial. Don't look now, but here's Dr. Melfi (Lorraine Bracco) researching her role in the upcoming "Goodfellas 2: I Survived the '80s." No, wait, I totally made that up. Turns out Bracco is merely making the scene at New York Fashion Week. But what's that she's wearing? And why do I suddenly wish she'd gone into that corner store (watch from minute 5:30 - 6:30) with Robert De Niro? Ah well, nevermind. Today's mission is to come up with the most imaginative caption to accompany the photo below -- something befitting a star of Bracco's stature and sturdy enough to stand out amidst all that fur. Share your creative caption below. The best entry will...
By Liz | February 6, 2008; 03:05 PM ET | Comments (38)
Creative Captioning: Inside Joke?
Why are these women laughing? Giddiness? Nerves? Recreational pharmaceuticals? One can only guess what could possibly inspire this level of human emotion from robo-Bride Katie Holmes and Diane I-Never-Met-a-Prom-Tux (or-a-Cheesy-Movie-Script) I-Didn't-Like Keaton. One thing of which we can be sure? Much merriment can be made at their expense. That's where you come in. Go ahead, tickle our funny bone. Point and laugh. Skewer with your best, umm, skewer. Share your creative caption below. The best entry will be elevated to a position of prominence here in the blog and the writer of that entry may call him (or her) self "Official Celebritology Captionologist" for the week of Jan. 6 - 12. Honorable mention will be made of the most rabid rant(s) about the inanity of caption contests. (Getty Images)...
By Liz | January 10, 2008; 11:32 AM ET | Comments (93)
Creative Captioning: Two for the Road
What would Elvis do if he happened upon these two in a dark alley? Well, he'd of course embrace them as his two main women -- wife Priscilla and daughter Lisa Marie. Even though Halloween was over a month ago, the two spackled on the face paint and donned matching black ensembles for Thursday evening's Lunchbox Hunger Relief benefit in New York. But, which is which? A hint: Priscilla (most of her) is 62 and Lisa Marie is, like, a musician. So it's obvious, right? You know the drill. Submit your fantastical captions below and Monday we'll pick the top five entries to elevate to a place of prominence here in the blog. Just one rule: Don't be cruel. (Getty Images) Top Captions: 1. "These tarts are ready!" -- K. Couric 2. Filming begins on the American version of "Absolutely Fabulous." -- osull1va 3. Mary Kate and Ashley: The Later...
By Liz | December 7, 2007; 11:23 AM ET | Comments (90)
Creative Captioning: Oh, Rihanna!
My first impression of the photo below? That one of those boots would make a great lamp base, kind of like that kickin' fishnet leg lamp from "A Christmas Story." My second thought was "did Cher bob her hair?" But then I looked a little closer and, horrified, realized that this is actually neither Cher nor Lita Ford, but 19-year-old (usually glam) pop prodigy Rihanna. Maybe she didn't realize pix from her Wednesday concert in Switzerland would make it over to this side of the Atlantic. But, silly girl, we live in a global village and, let me tell you, it doesn't take a village to know that this get-up has got to go. Let's hope she learns her lesson before her performance at Sunday's American Music Awards. Help Rihanna get the message by submitting your own captions for the photo above. The best entry will be elevated to a...
By Liz | November 15, 2007; 10:43 AM ET | Comments (87)
Creative Captioning: This Kitten Has Claws
We can't help but love that curt Heidi Klum when she bloodlessly axes hopeful designers from her Bravo hit "Project Runway." "You're auf," says she, looking all cute and pouty and ready to bounce contestants physically for failure to comply. And I get the warm fuzzies when I see candid pix of Klum out and about with her picture perfect family. Sure I may spit up in my mouth just a little, but that's a small price to pay for the chance to witness this model citizen's world. What, I wonder, would "Runway" co-host Tim Gunn say about the ensemble below? That's where we come in. This week we turn our well-practiced caption creation skills loose on Ms. Klum. The best entry will be elevated to a position of prominence here in the blog and the writer of that entry may call him (or her) self "Official Celebritology Captionologist" for...
By Liz | November 1, 2007; 10:43 AM ET | Comments (74)
Creative Captioning: TomKat Strut
(AP) At first glance this photo appears to be yet another typical red carpet scene: A Hollywood power couple and their blinding starpower promoting a new project -- in this case Tom Cruise's new movie "Lions for Lambs." But perhaps all is not as it appears. After all, this is TomKat and the Creative Captionologist (hint hint) knows this picture is worth a thousand words. Or at least 10 or 20. What is to be made of Tom's high-and-tight new 'do or Katie's seemingly oversized bustier? And what, one wonders, is Cruise thinking as he gazes into the ear of his young bride? Perhaps dreaming about -- just once -- saying no to Suri? You know the drill. The best entry will be elevated to a position of prominence here in the blog and the writer of that entry may call him (or her) self "Official Celebritology Captionologist" for...
By Liz | October 25, 2007; 10:42 AM ET | Comments (156)
Friday Follies: Waste a Day the Celebritology Way
List-a-palooza This Friday I present a trio of lists from other sources with which to while away the few short hours until the official start of the weekend. None particularly lends itself to much outside input, but all three are well worth your precious surfing time. 1. Top 10 Topical Halloween Costumes Everyone Will Be Wearing Even Though We Wish They Wouldn't. Best Week Ever presents their list of the season's top annoying and inevitably ubiquitous disguises. From JT's "SNL" song parody to an iPhone to a post-life Anna Nicole Smith, this list is not for the faint of heart (and possibly not safe for work). 2. Worst Movies Directed by Actors. For those of us who didn't realize that Nicolas Cage and William Shatner have both spent time behind the lens, this list is edifying. For those among us who are fans of "Braveheart" and "The Cable Guy," this...
By Liz | October 19, 2007; 10:42 AM ET | Comments (127)
Creative Captioning: When Billy Met Jack
Thanks to the American Film Institute's 40th anniversary celebration for bringing together the unlikely pair below. From the balding pates to the black blazers, these two could almost be clones if it weren't for the fact that a true genetic match would have probably resulted in both of these ghosts of Hollywood past being ridiculously talented. In any case, this mismatch makes rich fodder for this week's Creative Captioning exercise in which you tell us what's happening below. The best entry will be elevated to a position of prominence here in the blog and the writer of that entry may call him (or her) self "Official Celebritology Captionologist" for the week of Oct. 1 - 5. C'mon, give it some thought. Submit more than one. All work and no play makes [your name here] a dull boy/girl. (AP) Top Captions: 1. You can't handle the receding hairline. -- Irish_Ed 2....
By Liz | October 4, 2007; 10:42 AM ET | Comments (88)
Creative Captioning: Spect(o)ral Analysis
This much we know: Just moments after a judge declared a mistrial in the murder case against Phil Spector, he and wife Rachelle exited the L.A. Superior Court. What we don't know, though, speaks volumes. What thought was going through the reclusive music producer's mind here? Is his wife elated or secretly annoyed that he'll be home to share the hairspray for quite some time? If anyone knows, it's you. Share your alternate captions below. The best entry will be elevated to a position of prominence here in the blog and the writer of that entry may call him (or her) self "Official Celebritology Captionologist" for the week of Sept. 23 - 29. Deliver your sentence(s) below... (AP) Winning Captions 1. Phil Spector can't believe the "Wall of Crap" defense was so effective. -- lydacole 2. People lots people nice people photo snap-snap sunny day apple scruffs BOIL SNUFFY BUNNY!...
By Liz | September 27, 2007; 10:43 AM ET | Comments (59)
Creative Captioning: Me & Mr. Tarantino
She's Britain's very own bad girl, Amy Winehouse -- shakier than a lip-synching Britney Spears in stiletto boots, more powerful than Pete Doherty's cat on crack and able to take out small children with a single whip of her rat's nest bouffant. He's our homegrown film auteur, Quentin Tarantino -- still living down "Grindhouse" and cheeky enough to wear sweats to an awards show (in this case, Britain's MOBO Awards). Shape of one black-clad super-duo! Get the Hall of Injustice on the horn, stat. This unholy alliance is our inspiration for this week's Creative Captioning exercise. What thoughts lurk behind Tarantino's prim smile? And just what is Ms. Winehouse doing? Planning an escape? Share your own alternate captions below. The best entry will be elevated to a position of prominence here in the blog and the writer of that entry may call him (or her) self "Official Celebritology Captionologist" for...
By Liz | September 20, 2007; 10:43 AM ET | Comments (86)
Creative Captioning: Courtney Love's Celebrity Skin
Oh Courtney, have you ever looked so used up as this? You're a rock goddess -- not only did you marry grunge martyr Kurt Cobain, but you turned out two defining albums with your own band, Hole. We want to love you, but you scare us. And, thanks to the snapshot below you've landed in a very bad place -- as the subject of this week's Creative Captioning contest. Let me explain. Inspired by your pic, Celebritology readers will craft hilarious captions -- some innocuous, some catty, some absurd and some borderline offensive. Doubtless some tsk-tsking will take place to admonish us all for having a little bit of fun at your expense. But, hey, at least you're not wearing Comme Des Garçons (I think). The best caption will be elevated to a position of prominence here in the blahg and its writer will earn the right to tattoo his...
By Liz | September 13, 2007; 10:43 AM ET | Comments (119)
Creative Captioning: Debbie's Hairy Get Up
This week, I'm chagrined to find Debbie Harry the focus of our weekly exercise in snarkology. She's an icon. A goddess. She's Blondie, dammit. But, after spotting the photo below, well, how could I in good conscience pass up this rich opportunity for a little dose of creative captioning? Harry (who recently admitted that she'd injected sheep embryos in a bid to retain her youthful looks) it seems, deemed her ensemble appropriate to wear at a launch party for Tommy Hilfiger's new book, "Iconic America: A Roller-Coaster Ride through the Eye-Popping Panorama of American Pop Culture." Eye-popping, indeed. But surely we can do better. Share your own alternate captions below. The best entry will be elevated to a position of prominence here in the blog and the writer of that entry may call him (or her) self "Official Celebritology Captionologist" for the week of Sept. 3 - 7. (AP) Winning...
By Liz | September 6, 2007; 10:43 AM ET | Comments (116)
Creative Captioning: Chris Kattan's Racket
Another week, another mildly embarrassing B-lister photo op. This week's offering features Chris Kattan -- one-time "SNL" funnyman (Mango) and game-show host hopeful -- at a U.S. Open Kids' Day event. Surely we can do better than the AP, though, in coming up with a caption to describe this perfect storm (the miniskirt, the stripe of zinc oxide on the schnozz, the oversized tennis racket, the strained smile) of freakishness. The best entry will be elevated to a position of prominence here in Celebritology-land and the writer of that entry may call him (or her) self "Official Celebritology Captionologist" for the week of Aug. 27 - 31. (Check out last week's winning caption.) (AP) Top Five Entries: 1. "Does this skirt make my career look bigger?" -- DJ 2. "Hey, can someone take a picture of my descent into obscurity?" -- madfoot 3. Kattan whips out his own camera when...
By Liz | August 30, 2007; 10:43 AM ET | Comments (68)
Creative Captioning: Vincent Pastore & Kitty Cat
While scanning photo wires this morning, I came across the image below -- "Sopranos" alum Vincent Pastore and a ridiculously adorable kitten hamming it up at some sort of cat food-sponsored event (Hollywood, so glam). This picture, I thought, is crying out for a little creative captioning. So, today, release your inner copy editor and craft the best blurb you can for why this bear of a man is pawing this little puff ball. Keep it clean, please. We all know what Pastore's name on "The Sopranos" was -- surelywe're more creative than that. The best entry will be elevated to a position of prominence here in da blog and the writer of that entry may call him (or her) self "Official Celebritology Captionologist" for the week of Aug. 20 - 24. (Getty Images) Update, 8.24.07: The winner of this week's contest is sjcpeach with "Say hello to my little...
By Liz | August 23, 2007; 10:43 AM ET | Comments (77)
