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Dirty Job: Catching Up With Mike Rowe
Another day at the office for 'Dirty Jobs' host Mike Rowe. (Discovery) It's all a blur for Mike Rowe. He set out to make a living for himself on the fringes of TV -- a local home show hosting gig here, a voice-over there -- with at least six months off each year. But almost two decades after he first wowed QVC audiences and local D.C. area househunters, the host of Discovery Channel's "Dirty Jobs" is a certified cable superstar -- beloved by an adoring public that either wants to be him or be with him. Fans crowd Discovery channel message boards to talk about the guy, MySpace abounds with dozens of Rowe-related pages: "Mike Rowe for President" and "Hot 4 Mike Rowe" among them. And one only need to a quick Google search to find legions of blog-enabled fans professing an often scary devotion for the guy. Is...
By Liz | July 16, 2008; 10:43 AM ET | Comments (98)
In the Twilight Zone with Jess and Ush
Jessica Simpson and co-star Ashley Ednar. (Image courtesy New Line Home Entertainment) There are lots of things I'd never want to see combined -- bacon and Peach Schnapps, a hybrid shark/sloth (cuz it would be the slowest death ever), me and Diane Keaton in a Port-a-Jon. But last night's double dose of a couple of stale "Twilight Zone" episodes added two new and unexpectedly foul combinations to my list of abominations against nature: 1. Jessica Simpson and a house full of evil Barbie dolls (watch here), and 2. Usher smoothly doing battle with a pimp stalking him from beyond the grave. To be fair, the episodes originally aired in 2003 and 2002, respectively, so these shows are neither new nor particularly noteworthy. Unless you, like me, happen to make a study of poorly-executed celebrity cameos. We have syndication-loving MyNetwork to thank for keeping these shows alive. And reminding us...
By Liz | July 3, 2008; 10:42 AM ET | Comments (34)
Undressing 'The Bachelorette'
You know you're a fan of "The Bachelorette" if: 1. You slug a drink every time the word "journey" is uttered. 2. You roll your eyes every time Bachelorette DeAnna Pappas, a real estate agent from Newnan, Georgia, lauds a guy for "putting himself out there." 3. You slump in your chair when DeAnna bemoans how "I've gone through what you're going through." 4. You understand there's nothing else to watch this summer. If you selected No. 4, let's catch you up. DeAnna Pappas: Sweet catch or fishy dish? (Craig Sjodin/ABC) For those just joining us: After "Bachelor" Brad Womack's straight-arm at the altar grounded her in last season's finale, Pappas was given "a second chance at love" by becoming the rose-pinning hunter instead of the doe-eyed hunted. Since then, Pappas has dismissed 22 of her suitors with teary-eyed precision, from dropping Richard the Science Guy on the corner after...
By Christian Pelusi | June 26, 2008; 11:03 AM ET | Comments (100)
Reality Check: 'Rock of Love 2'
As we enter the final few days before Sunday's "Rock of Love 2" finale, I just can't go on sitting idly by, not comment, as I watch this season surpass the first. No mean feat considering the machinations of stripper/chief head-tripper Heather and the reliably ill-spirited Lacey. (If you haven't watched up to Sunday's most recent show, please direct your attention to Post Rock for the latest in actual rock MUSIC.) Beware: There are spoilers here. After Destiney's dismissal on Sunday night, our '80s hair band bachelor, Bret Michaels, is down to a surf-inflected silicon-injected stripper (Daisy) and "TV hostess" Ambre, who somehow seems out of place not only in this show, but in her "my first skank groupie" outfits. Ultimately, one will win. But I'm here to say that we, the viewers, are the real winners. No matter who ends up rocking Bret's world ultimately, aren't we all just...
By Liz | April 9, 2008; 10:42 AM ET | Comments (31)
Insta-Poll: Rating Kathie Lee's Return
Kathie Lee Gifford (right) goes for it by making one of her signature faces on day one of her new 'Today' hosting gig. Co-host Hoda Kotb wisely keeps her face hidden. (AP) The television landscape is littered with second acts. Like so many wet spaghetti noodles thrown against the wall, some slide (Tony Danza, Donny Osmond, Maury Povich and Connie Chung) while others manage to hang on long enough carve out a new career (Ellen DeGeneres, Howie Mandel). Will Kathie Lee Gifford stick or slide? As Tom Shales so eloquently put it in this morning's Style critique, Gifford's return to daytime TV as host of the fourth hour of the "Today" show was "a windy, dithery mess with virtually no portents of improvements to come." Did we expect any more from the woman who mad-libbed her way through 15 years as Regis Philbin's mouthy, face-making, sweat shop-enabling appendage? Probably...
By Liz | April 8, 2008; 10:42 AM ET | Comments (46)
Catching Up with Kate Walsh
Kate Walsh, at Thursday's 'Stand Up For Real Sex Education' briefing on Capitol Hill and, bottom, at that evening's Planned Parenthood gala. (Top: Getty Images/Bottom: Liz Kelly for washingtonpost.com) I'll just come right out and say it: Even at a proximity of three feet Kate Walsh is utterly stunning, as I found out last night sitting opposite the "Private Practice" star in the bowels of a local hotel. Not bad, as she admits herself, for a 40-year-old actress, a mainstay on "sexiest" lists: Sexiest TV actresses, sexiest TV docs, sexiest Hollywood Obama supporters. Coincidentally, Walsh was in D.C. yesterday to talk sex -- sex education -- at a packed Planned Parenthood event. Walsh's briefing drew hordes of Capitol Hill staffers hoping to catch a whiff of her star power and get a load of the woman who has kissed both McDreamy and McSteamy. Walsh, though, says she was happiest...
By Liz | March 28, 2008; 10:42 AM ET | Comments (36)
Say It Ain't So: The New '90210'
The original 'Beverly Hills, 90210' cast, back in the day. (AP) I'm going to go ahead and say right from the start that what follows, like Celine Dion, won't appeal to everyone. But if you happened to come of age -- any kind of age -- when "Beverly Hills, 90210" was a TV juggernaut, read on. Heady days, those, when we liked this show so much we were willing to give the age-challenged Gabrielle Carteris a pass or believe that the James Dean-esque Dylan could really live in his own Beverly Hills bachelor pad. Shannen Doherty vamped around like an underage Joan Collins and, let's face it, we all knew Tori was only on the show because her dad was the producer. It was okay. We liked her anyway and we hated David Silver when he got it on with that chick in the back of a limo. What...
By Liz | March 20, 2008; 10:42 AM ET | Comments (39)
'Lost': Questions We Need Answered
Another puzzler: Who are all those people behind Claire (Emilie de Raven)? (ABC/Mario Perez) "Lost" returns to TV tonight after an eight-month hiatus in which we may well have lost sight of the questions left hanging at the end of season 3. Below, fellow "Lost" blogger Jen Chaney and I noodle the top three (or so) we'd each like to see resolved -- or a least heavily hinted at -- in tonight's season opener. Liz's Questions: 1. If it's not Penny's boat, as Charlie messaged at the end of last season's finale, who is on the freighter and at whose behest? (Screengrab courtesy losteastereggs.blogspot.com) Season three ended as contact was made with a freighter suddenly in radio range of the island. The assumption was this was a rescue team sent by Desmond's well-heeled girlfriend, Penelope Widmore, until Charlie's chilling message just before he died: "Not Penny's Boat." Which runs...
By Liz | January 31, 2008; 10:48 AM ET | Comments (58)
Don't Look Now, Here Comes Marie Osmond Again
Marie Osmond, from dance-off to daytime. (AP) Since I'm riding on a pre-"Lost" high, it would take a lot -- like a Diane Keaton-Gwyneth Paltrow smothering nightmare -- to bring me down right now. But the coquettishly evil Marie Osmond almost managed to harsh my mellow with news of her impending daytime talk show, sickeningly titled "Marie." Yes, the one-time teen star turned dollmaker who credited the Bible with inspiring her "Dancing With the Stars" participation will be bringing her unique talent for [jury's still out] to the talk show landscape. Suddenly I can't beat back images of Osmond, dressed like this, surrounded by a council of freakish Osmond-created dolls, all polyester lace and cackles, emitting some cloying, flowery scent that surely masks some soul-stealing vapor. Which kind of runs counter to this statement from one Josh Raphaelson who will be partly responsible for bringing this abomination to TV:...
By Liz | January 30, 2008; 10:43 AM ET | Comments (54)
Catching Up With... Barry Williams (aka Greg Brady)
Barry Williams as Greg (top center) surrounded by his 'Brady Bunch' co-stars. With apologies to anyone born after the bicentennial, back in the early '70s, the sometimes sappy, sometimes hip "Brady Bunch" (watch the show's intro) was practically required viewing. Young actor Barry Williams was the prince of the shag-carpeted, orange-kitchened, astro-turfed backyard Brady manor as oldest son Greg. And, as Greg hit his teens, he soon morphed into serious competition for other eight-track era heartthrobs like "The Partridge Family's" David Cassidy. We pulled for Greg when he battled Marcia for the groovy attic space, cringed when he suffered through an accidental hair bleaching and tut-tutted knowingly when he fell under the spell of alter ego Johnny Bravo. In 1992, Williams's autobiography "Growing Up Brady: I Was a Teenage Greg," spent three months on the New York Times bestseller list and was adapted into a made-for-TV movie. Williams has...
By Liz | January 25, 2008; 10:42 AM ET | Comments (34)
The Oprah-fication of America
Oprah's on! And on and on and on... (Getty Images) Okay, we've talked about Oprah Winfrey here before. And either you people are humoring my distaste for the doyenne of daytime or the average Celebritology reader is so far out of the mainstream you'd send Bobby Trendy into cardiac arrest. What has inspired my doubt, you ask? The continued creep of Winfrey's influence into popular culture. Someone -- a lot of someones -- it seems, is watching, emulating, buying. How else to explain O's unchecked sprawl into TV, satellite radio, film, magazines, books, Broadway and politics? The latest front in this woman's seemingly unstoppable ubiquity is cable television. Discovery networks yesterday announced the creation of OWN -- the Oprah Winfrey Network, set to launch next year in approximately 70 million homes in America. From the AP story: Winfrey envisions the programming dealing with issues such as money, health, weight,...
By Liz | January 16, 2008; 10:30 AM ET | Comments (98)
Dr. Phil Gets Real. Real Low, That Is
Dr. Phil McGraw: A friend in need is a friend in greed. (AP) I always suspected Dr. Phil McGraw of being a major league fathead and now I'm sure. His unsolicited Friday visit to Britney Spears at Cedars-Sinai hospital has finally given me the opportunity to properly vent my spleen about the drawling, mustachioed huckster. Okay, so most of us were somewhat riveted by news that Brit had been locked down for a psych evaluation following a Thursday night custody standoff, but it takes a special kind of ego to look upon someone else's misfortune and spin it into an opportunity for self -promotion. Not since the days of Howard K. Stern and his unapologetic use of Anna Nicole Smith to declare himself a celebrity have we seen such chutzpah, such a naked play for press. To be fair, Phil says Britney's mom Lynn Spears asked him to intervene...
By Liz | January 7, 2008; 10:42 AM ET | Comments (119)
Friday List: TV Crush Groove 2007 -- Your Nominees?
Naveen Andrews: Hot or not? (AP) It's no secret that at least three of the reasons I'm hooked on "Lost" are named Matthew Fox (Jack), Josh Holloway (Sawyer) and Naveen Andrews (Sayid). There, I said it. I'm as susceptible to three-day stubble and a well-delivered line as the next girl. And any guys out there claiming to watch "Gilmore Girls" for the well-done portrayal of family drama can kiss my tuchus. With that in mind, today we shoulder a momentous task: compiling a list of the top TV crushes of 2007. Ideally, the final list -- based on your submissions -- will be whittled down to five characters from each side of the gender divide and released here on Monday. Don't underestimate the importance of the word "character" here. Yes, Heidi Klum is hot, but we're taking our attraction one step further into fandom to admit crushes on the...
By Liz | November 30, 2007; 10:43 AM ET | Comments (210)
An Oprah-Induced Pre-Holiday Hangover
Last November, Oprah Winfrey scrapped her annual "Favorite Things" show in favor of promoting charitable works. Saying she wanted audience members to feel the magic of giving, Winfrey gave each audience member $1,000 to donate to the charity of one's choice. That was then, this is now. Yesterday, Oprah released the 2007 "Favorite Things" list meaning we need no longer fear braving the retail fray without a roadmap again. Instead, we'll descend on our local big box retailers (as early as midnight Thursday in some cases) en masse and armed with an Oprah-sanctioned list of camcorders (O likes the $799 Samsung), kitchen gadgets (if a $4,000 fridge is a gadget), boots (nothing but Uggs for Oprah) and this troubling ensemble that resembles nothing so much as some kind of Oprah cult uniform (handbook not included). Not on the list? $20,000 worth of designer shoes (sorry Jessica Seinfeld). Bah, humbug. Here's...
By Liz | November 21, 2007; 10:43 AM ET | Comments (44)
A Decidedly Non-Rosie Outlook
Rosie at an October 'Celebrity Detox' signing. (Getty Images) When Rosie O'Donnell walked away from "The View" after last spring's serial spat with conservative nemesis Elisabeth Hasselbeck, I cheered. It wasn't so much because I'm a Rosie-hater (though, in the interest of full disclosure, I must admit that I'm not her biggest fan). Rather, it was because she decried the split-screen treatment of the shout-down. She'd had enough, she said. She didn't want to be "Hannity & Colmes," she said. She was tired of it all and wanted to return to the comfort and quiet of her family. Good on her. But, alas, she lied. Hours (at least in Celebritology time) later, O'Donnell was pushing herself back into the national blather-feuled dialogue by posting pseudo-cryptic blog slams to anyone in arm's reach (Hasselbeck, Barbara Walters). And just a few short months after her abrupt departure from daytime talk, she...
By Liz | November 6, 2007; 12:00 PM ET | Comments (15)
Chris Crocker, Leave Us Alone
Chris Crocker, newly-minted 'net star. (AP) Last week, Chris Crocker rose from the obscurity of his grandparents' Tennessee house and his status as a Perez Hilton remora to become the latest Internet-created celebrity. Proof positive that there is something actually more pitiful than Britney Spears herself, Crocker is particularly hard to stomach because he's clawing his way into the pop culture lexicon by stepping on Brit's neck. If you haven't yet watched Crocker's career-making plea to "Leave Britney Alone," you can do so here. If you don't have much of a stomach for whining and crocodile tears, skip it and know that it is two minutes and 11 seconds of very calculated nails-on-chalkboard ravings by a very shrewd 19-year-old who purports to defend Spears, who he says is getting a rough break. Leave her alone, he asks, while at the same time doing everything he can to get us...
By Liz | September 25, 2007; 10:42 AM ET | Comments (34)
Who's to Blame for Brit's Belly Flop?
Spears performs at Sunday night's VMAs. (AP) After getting burned with yesterday's sweet little paean to Jane Wyman (who knew?), we boomerang back into the land of teetering starlets with a neat little ethical puzzler courtesy of one Kanye West. Despite the fact that West has a chronic case of being a whiny baby who'd do better to keep quiet and continue making money, he inadvertently dropped some wisdom following Sunday's slo-mo career-killing Britney Spears performance: "Man, they [MTV] were just trying to get ratings, and they knew she wasn't ready and they exploited her." Sincere or not (he went on to say he should have opened the show with his single "Stronger"), Kanye is the only one calling MTV on the carpet for booking Brit, who has hardly given any indication that she was ready to deliver a stellar performance. In retrospect, how could anyone -- most of...
By Liz | September 12, 2007; 10:43 AM ET | Comments (106)
Prognosticating 'Dancing With the Stars'
Update, 8.29.07: Looks like our pick for winner -- Nia Peeples -- won't get the chance to show her stuff on the dance floor. At least not this season. This morning, ABC officially announced this year's contestants: Melanie Brown, Sabrina Bryan, Helio Castroneves, Mark Cuban, Jennie Garth, Josie Maran, Cameron Mathison, Floyd Mayweather, Wayne Newton, Marie Osmond, Albert Reed and Jane Seymour. Hey, six-and-a-half (we had Sabrina Ryan) ain't bad. -------------- '90210' alumna Tori Spelling: She can dance if she wants to. (Reuters) Fake tans, big hair, glitzy outfits, hammy performances and cheesy reworked tunes -- somehow this combination of abhorrent qualities combines to form the near perfection that is "Dancing With the Stars." Against my will, I've been entertained by the last few seasons of this plucky little ABC show that pits fading stars against each other in a dance-off worthy of "West Side Story" or "Dirty Dancing." ("Nobody...
By Liz | August 28, 2007; 10:43 AM ET | Comments (23)
To Care or Not To Care: 'The Hills'
Lauren Conrad and Heidi Montag. (Getty Images) For the past week or so, the usual list of sites I troll has been awash in stories about the stars of MTV's semi-reality show, "The Hills." As usual, I've been ignoring them. But this morning, when scanning a blurb about "Hills"-ster Lauren Conrad saying a post-breast-augmentation co-star Heidi Montag is "not the same person anymore ... I feel like I don't even know [her]," I felt a twinge and started to doubt my "Hills" shut out. This, I thought, is good stuff ("good stuff" meaning, loosely, just the kind of vapid trash to which I tend to gravitate). Conrad's quote about sums it up for me, though. I don't feel like I know her or Heidi or any of the "Hills" kids (nor did I care to know anyone on the show's predecessor "Laguna Beach"). Until now, when I found myself...
By Liz | August 16, 2007; 10:43 AM ET | Comments (41)
Celebreality Review: 'Rock of Love'
If, like me, you missed last week's first "Rock of Love" installment, it's not too late to catch up with the newest kid on the celebreality block. Until only a week ago, it appeared Flavor Flav would reign in perpetuity as the unchallenged king of reality TV. "Flavor of Love" was contrived, outrageous, disturbing, mysogynistic, utterly irresistible TV. Turns out, though, that Flav isn't the only washed-up musician (using "musician" in the broadest sense of the word) capable of wrangling a house full of bimbettes with bared fangs bent on winning the supposed prize of becoming [insert washed-up star's name here] lady love. In Poison front man Bret Michaels, the man at the center of "Rock of Love," VH1 has found a worthy successor to Flav -- one whose take on cathouse matchmaking is just different enough to deserve an hour of our already packed weeks. Trust me, TV history...
By Liz | July 23, 2007; 10:43 AM ET | Comments (12)
TV End Times
David: What do you think will happen on the last episode of "The Sopranos"? Nate: Dude, how am I supposed to know? I'm dead. (AP/HBO) I recently had a dream about the final episode of "The Sopranos." I know that a. James Gandolfini was in it; b. gunshots may or may not have been fired; and c. the conclusion delivered a satisfying sense of moral ambiguity. But that's all I can remember. Probably not enough to qualify for a post in our "Scripting 'The Sopranos'" blog. Whether Tony lives, dies or decides to open an underground shop that sells drug paraphernalia (name: The Bada Bong), I'm not sure whether I'll be satisfied with what unfolds on HBO this Sunday. That's because, with a couple of notable exceptions, the conclusions of most TV shows disappoint. Having said that, here is a look at some of the more memorable series farewells...
By Jen Chaney | June 5, 2007; 10:57 AM ET | Comments (67)
'Lost' Analysis: Finale Thoughts
This week, Jen Chaney and I were again joined by leading "Lost" scholar J. Wood to draw conclusions about "Lost's" two-hour season finale. Massive spoilers and a summer reading list ahead. R.I.P. Charlie. (Photo courtesy ABC) Liz: No need to embellish or qualify this statement: last night's finale was phenomenal. In fact, it was so good that I didn't even realize until it ended that we didn't really get that many answers and were in fact left to ponder a whole new set of questions until "Lost's" return in January 2008. Jen, J., let's get down to it. Maybe we can start with what we think was the most significant moment from last night's show. For me, it was bearded Jack's offhand reference to his father. It underscored my pet theory that the Losties inhabit an alternate universe and this bearded Jack another in which Christian Shepard never died. So...
By Liz | May 24, 2007; 10:33 AM ET | Comments (206)
'Lost' Finale Countdown
In which our season-long "Lost" watchers, Liz and Jen, handicap tonight's season finale. Liz: I'm told the world is abuzz about the season finale of some tacky sing-song show on Fox tonight. But we know where the people who expect more out of primetime TV than a British guy with a bad attitude (We've got two. Nyah!) will be -- watching the two-hour "game changing" season finale of "Lost" tonight at 9 p.m. ET. There are tons of sites out there spoiling the experience with leaked details. I'm not looking. How about you, Jen? Jen: I've done the peek-and-run -- looked at spoilers for a sec, then dashed away because I don't want to ruin everything. I still want my holy you-know-what moment. The big question, though: Who is going to die? Liz: Good question -- we've got several candidates: Charlie, of course. Ben, who seems to have turned entire...
By Liz | May 23, 2007; 01:29 PM ET | Comments (29)
Celebritology: 'Lost' Dueling Analyses: 'The Brig'
If you thought last night's "Lost" was dense, wait till you read the following post-show analysis in which post.com movies editrix Jen Chaney and I welcome special guest blogger, J. Wood. Warning: Loads of spoilers, subtext and mind-bending theories follow. Proceed at your own risk. John Locke (Terry O'Quinn) catches up on a little light reading. (Photo courtesy ABC) Liz: So many revelations, I hardly know where to start: Ben is deliciously evil, Kate is an idiot, Locke is disappointing, Sawyer is coming apart at the seams, Sayid is back (yay!), Cindy has highlights, Jack and Juliet know something we don't know, the Others are planning a raid on the beach camp and there is some kind of ruin to which one can tie murderous deadbeat dads for purposes of ritual sacrifice. This almost makes up for the Bai Ling incident. Almost. But first, Jen -- much like Naomi's sudden...
By Liz | May 3, 2007; 11:33 AM ET | Comments (140)
Friday List: Rosie's Replacement?
A "View" without Rosie O'Donnell is like a hot dog without mustard. Hmm. Or perhaps, it's like Pam Anderson without implants. No, that's not quite right either. I've got it: "The View" without Rosie O'Donnell is like a sedate, estrogen-dominated yawnfest without a perky lesbian known for speaking her mind. In other words, it's about to get boring again. Earlier this week, O'Donnell, citing unsuccessful contract negotiations with ABC, said she'll be leaving the confines of the coffee klatch in June. Barbara Walters struck an appropriately wistful tone, saying she felt bad for dragging O'Donnell back to TV in the first place. Joy Behar stuck with her well-worn post-menopausal arch pose, wondering how Donald Trump would get any press without Rosie around to kick. And Elizabeth Hasselbeck, who over the eight months she's sat across from O'Donnell has become something of a right-wing nemesis, managed to look smug, triumphant and...
By Liz | April 27, 2007; 10:43 AM ET | Comments (131)
'Lost' Dueling Analyses: Revelations Aplenty
Yet again, post.com movies editrix Jen Chaney and I get together to talk about our favorite escape from reality (and reality TV). Warning: Spoilers ahead! Sun (Yunjin Kim, right) and Jack (Matthew Fox). (Photo courtesy ABC) Liz: Maybe it was the lack of Sawyer or the zillionth shot of the Losties arranging a tarp on a lean-to or perhaps Sun's semi-irrelevant flashback -- but something about last night's episode killed some of the momentum picked up over the past couple of weeks. Don't get me wrong: There were plenty of juicy bits (Mikhail is alive, Sun is directly responsible for Jin's induction into the Korean underworld, Juliet hinted that she's no fan of Ben and -- the big shocker -- Naomi says Oceanic 815 like totally crashed), it's just that they were surrounded by so much blandness. We received several important plot points, but the episode as a whole was...
By Liz | April 26, 2007; 10:43 AM ET | Comments (211)
Timeline: A Brief Compendium of Rosie Quotes
Rosie O'Donnell (left) with fellow 'View'-sters Barbara Walters, Joy Behar and Elizabeth Hasselbeck. (AP) Despite early success as a stand-up comic, a respectable resume of big-screen supporting roles ("A League of Their Own," "Sleepless in Seattle"), a possible future on FX's "Nip/Tuck" and duty at the helm of two daytime talk shows, Rosie O'Donnell's propensity for speaking her mind has garnered her the most attention throughout her career. Following this morning's announcement of a planned exit from "The View," we pause to replay a few choice words from the mouth from Queens: 1999: "You are not allowed to own a gun, and if you do own a gun, I think you should go to prison." O'Donnell's outspoken anti-gun stance landed her in an on-screen imbroglio with actor Tom Selleck, who claims O'Donnell broke an agreement to not talk about his affiliation with the NRA. Nov. 20, 2006: "To me...
By Liz | April 25, 2007; 11:20 AM ET | Comments (51)
A Very Special Goodbye: TV Exits
Parting is such sweet sorrow, yet this ever-changing world in which we live in demands that we learn to say goodbye to our real friends -- the ones who turn out for us every week on TV -- far too often. With the explosion of reality TV shows, we are traumatized weekly by abrupt adieus. We hardly had time to clear a corner of our crowded hearts for adorable pixie Sanjaya Malakar before he was brutally excised from "American Idol" and condemned to the wraith-like fate of other reality show also-rans. All that remains is his name (which has taken on a Borat-like shorthand meaning "nerdy, gawky, fearless teen, a bit cooler than Napoleon Dynamite, but not so hip as to alienate grandparents") and a reputation as "the guy with the hair." Heather Mills and 'Dancing' partner Jonathan Roberts. (AP) Last night it was Heather Mills -- the woman who...
By Liz | April 25, 2007; 10:43 AM ET | Comments (35)
'Lost' Dueling Analyses: Forward Motion = Good
This week, post.com movies editrix Jen Chaney and I agree that we excel at disagreeing and continue in that vein for approximately 1,500 words. Desmond, brotha... (Photo courtesy ABC) Jen: Although not as good as last week's installment (note to "Lost" producers: That's the one you should submit for Emmy consideration), last night's episode was still pretty thought-provoking. Liz, this time I don't think there is any way you can doubt that religious themes are a major part of what's happening. When monks start showing up, you know a show is getting kind of biblical. I found it interesting that Desmond's dissed fiancee is named Ruth, who in the Bible is the daughter-in-law of Naomi, the woman who fell out of the sky and onto our swell little island. (They didn't tell us her name yet on the show, but the character's identity already has been revealed.) Liz: Yes, yes...
By Liz | April 19, 2007; 10:43 AM ET | Comments (98)
Lost Dueling Analyses: The Plot Thickens
Two out of two washingtonpost.com analysts (movie editor Jen Chaney and I) agree: last night's "Lost" rocked. Warning: Spoilers aplenty ahead. The duplicitous Juliet (Elizabeth Mitchell). (Photo courtesy ABC) Liz: With five shows to go, we're finally getting somewhere. I knew the episode would deliver the second Sayid opened his mouth and asked Juliet the questions any marooned crash survivor who has been antagonized by a hostile native population would ask given the opportunity. The questions that Jack, Kate, Locke and Sawyer somehow failed to form in their many dealings with the Others: "What are you people doing on this island? Why are you terrorizing us? Making lists? Taking our kids? I want to know everything. Who are you?" We didn't necessarily get answers to any of those questions, but our little show finally returned to form -- the plot was taut, the dialogue was the right mix of flippancy...
By Liz | April 12, 2007; 10:43 AM ET | Comments (109)
'Lost' Dueling Analyses: Something For Everyone?
This week, post.com movies editrix Jen Chaney and I disagree yet again, but in a Bizarro World kind of way. Warning: Spoilers ahead. Sawyer (Josh Holloway) beer batters a wild boar. (Photo courtesy ABC) Liz: To borrow the sentiment from a famous Abraham Lincoln quote, you can't please all of the people all of the time. Last night's episode, though, attempted to do just that: We had action unfolding in both major areas of the island, muddy girl-fighting, the return of the smoke monster, Hurley getting one over on Sawyer, a handy Sawyer tie-in via Kate's flashback and, ultimately, promise of an interesting episode next week when Jack, Kate, Sayid and Juliet return to the Losties' main digs. And I, for one, find myself pleased. Maybe I'm a cheap date, but a little Hurley and some smoke monster will get me every time. Jen: We have switched roles this week,...
By Liz | April 5, 2007; 10:43 AM ET | Comments (99)
Lost Dueling Analyses: Death to Poochie(s)
washingtonpost.com movies editrix Jen Chaney and I overanalyze last night's episode of "Lost." Warning: There are spoilers. Buh-bye Nikki (Kiele Sanchez) and Paolo (Rodrigo Santoro). (Photo courtesy ABC) Jen: I never thought I'd say this, but I actually enjoyed the Nikki/Paolo episode. Okay, so the twist ending was basically stolen from an episode of either "The Twilight Zone," "Alfred Hitchcock Presents," "Amazing Stories" or all of the above. Still, it was nice to have a new mini-mystery to distract from the larger mysteries. I also thought it was interesting to follow the Locke episode with another installment about paralysis. What did you think? Liz: I'm out of sorts because last night played like one big wet desperate Valentine to longtime fans who despised the bungled addition of Nikki and Paolo (AKA the Poochies). The execution (no pun intended) was manic -- part "Scooby Doo," part "Murder She Wrote," part Edgar...
By Liz | March 29, 2007; 10:43 AM ET | Comments (120)
Lost Analysis: Un-Locke-ing Some Island Mysteries
If you haven't yet watched last night's episode, "The Man from Tallahassee," you may want to do so before reading the following dispatch, in which post.com movie editrix Jen Chaney and I bicker, make lame jokes and generally kvetch about this week's episode of "Lost." John Locke (Terry O'Quinn) looks down the hatch of a submarine. (Photo courtesy ABC) Liz: A week ago I was despondent after being subjected to the third in a series of weak episodes. Last night's revealing Locke-centric hour pulled me back into the fold, though. The writers again managed to craft a show in which the back story is integral to the events unfolding on the island and that, my friend, makes all the difference. But since I can never be totally satisfied, I'd like to register my growing annoyance with Kate. Her insistence on stalking Jack to the Others' compound, her visible jealousy of...
By Liz | March 22, 2007; 10:43 AM ET | Comments (80)
Reality Check: 'Dancing With the Stars'
Heather Mills and partner Jonathan Roberts, who didn't bother coordinating their outfits. (Photo courtesy ABC) If "Dancing With the Stars" hadn't debuted last night, I might have been tempted to write about this site. But ABC's wacky dance-off did return and gets our full attention today. Though, after watching the two-hour premiere, I'm thinking that site might have more entertainment value. Even a soon-to-be ex-Beatle bride sporting an artificial leg (surely ratings gold) wasn't enough to keep the show from tedium. Easy-listening covers of already cheesy songs (Huey Lewis's "The Power of Love," Denise Williams's "Let's Hear It for the Boy") and annoying bio-clips of each contestant and professional dancer didn't do much to ramp up the excitement level. Dancers were upstaged by over-the-top judge Bruno Tonioli (an Italian choreographer doing his best impression of Armand Goldman) and the entire show was eclipsed by the commercial break premiere of...
By Liz | March 20, 2007; 10:23 AM ET | Comments (33)
Lost Analysis: If You Don't Know Claire By Now...
The usually elf-like Claire (Emilie De Ravin) does her best Neve Campbell impression. (Photo Courtesy ABC) If you haven't yet seen last night's episode of "Lost" please avail yourself of the opportunity to watch it online before proceeding downpage to take in this week's picky-point analysis from post.com movie editrix Jen Chaney and me. Liz: Jen, it happened again. The disappointment, the filler, the melodrama. Let's just say it -- the network has won. "Lost" has been turned into a nighttime soap whose only goal is to keep us hanging on for one more episode each week for as long as they can continue to sell advertising. And, damn them, they keep me coming back with final minutes like last night's view of Jack playing a Kennedy-esque game of football in the Others' village. Am I overreacting? Jen: I don't think you're overreacting necessarily. When I watch "Lost" now,...
By Liz | March 15, 2007; 10:13 AM ET | Comments (74)
'Lost' Dueling Analysis: Win/Win -- No Cheech Marin and a Few Answers
Warning: If you haven't watched last night's "Lost" yet, do so before proceeding to read an enthusiastic, yet measured, discussion of episode "Enter 77" between myself and post.com movie editrix Jen Chaney. Kate (Evangeline Lilly) and Sayid (Naveen Andrews) gun for some answers even as I flail around for a witty caption. (Photo courtesy ABC) Liz: Since crashing into our living rooms three years ago, "Lost" has managed to hit a sweet spot. Its "Twin Peaks" meets conspiracy theory as acted out by Gap ad models formula appeals to a wide swath of viewers. Me, I'm in it for the hidden meanings (I practically drool every time I catch an oblique pop culture reference or yet another nod to Stephen King or "The Watchmen") and the slowly unraveling mystery, which I still believe is leading to an end as ironclad as the fate to which Desmond says we are all...
By Liz | March 8, 2007; 10:43 AM ET | Comments (61)
'Lost' Episode 9 -- A Big Distraction
Spoilers Ahead: If you haven't already watched last night's installment -- "Stranger in a Strange Land" -- please do so now at ABC.com. Achara (Bai Ling) greets Jack in Phuket. (Photo courtesy ABC) Tonight on "Lost": Will Bai Ling distract Liz enough to ruin her enjoyment of an otherwise watchable episode? Well, almost. For anyone out there who just checks in on Thursdays for show analysis, I spend the rest of the week immersed in the world of celebrity news. Don't get me wrong. I love me some hot celebrity scoop, but "Lost" and these Thursday posts function as a sanity-saving oasis for me, a DMZ free of break-ups, breakdowns, deaths, arrests and... oh wait. Nevermind. Anyhow, imagine my dismay when settling in for an evening of "Lost" -- where the closest thing to a celebrity would have to be Hurley -- only to be slapped in the face with...
By Liz | February 22, 2007; 10:43 AM ET | Comments (70)
Lost Analysis: Episode 8 -- Time Travel, Anyone?
Warning: Spoilers ahead. Proceed at your own risk or head over to ABC to watch last night's episode first. Last week's episode kicked off a frenzy of theorizing not seen since the early days of the hatch, the button and the numbers and suddenly talk of "Lost" as a rudderless ship have evaporated, like so much black smoke. Why? Turns out that the scene in which Karl (Alex's Other boyfriend) is subjected to some kind of sensory overload chamber -- and I dismissed as an homage to "A Clockwork Orange" -- held what looks to be a king-sized clue (or one whopper of a red herring). Thanks to some industrious fans, we now know that the scene contained a backwards message. That's right, a genuine Paul-is-dead moment right here in our very own "Lost:" NewbrainUploaded by DarkUFO Listen closely or you might just miss the voice repeating this cryptic message:...
By Liz | February 15, 2007; 10:43 AM ET | Comments (70)
Lost Episode 7 Analysis: It's Back, Baby
***Spoilers Ahead*** If you haven't yet watched Wednesday night's mid-season premiere, please visit ABC.com to do so before proceeding. Juliet (Elizabeth Mitchell), a woman with a lot on her mind. (Photo courtesy ABC) Yesterday in the comment section of the look-ahead post here in Celebritology, reader Janie used the term "nerdgasm" to describe the frenzied next-day discussions of "Lost" in her office each week. Thank you, Janie, for giving our bliss a name. Let the nerdgasm begin. I was skeptical going into last night's show. After three long months to stew over a mediocre fall season, I didn't have high hopes for the return. After all, the six fall shows had only served to dilute the plot, drop vital threads and kill off one of my favorite characters (Mr. Eko). Then I made the mistake of watching the hour-long infomercial preamble at 9 p.m. Hosted by Damon Lindelof and Carlton...
By Liz | February 8, 2007; 10:43 AM ET | Comments (96)
Ready to Get 'Lost' Again?
Tonight on "Lost": Not in Portland -- Jack is in command as the fate of Ben's life literally rests in his hands. But do we care? Yet another chance to post this photo of Sawyer (Josh Holloway). (Photo courtesy ABC) It feels like forever since we talked about "Lost" here on Nov. 9. Still, a lot has happened in the intervening weeks -- the holidays, the return of "24" and "American Idol," the kickoff of the Hollywood awards season and, speaking of kickoffs -- the Super Bowl. A few new shows have also quietly crept into our daily routines -- "Ugly Betty" and "Heroes" emerged as keepers from last fall's cornucopia of pilots. Me, I've used the time to Netflix some of my favorite old shows (and am here to testify that the "Larry Sanders Show" is still puts latter-day imitators to shame -- sorry Tina Fey). With all the...
By Liz | February 7, 2007; 10:43 AM ET | Comments (24)
The Great American Pastime: Fallen Idols
Late last week, news broke that "American Idol" hopeful Thomas Daniels has a -- gasp! -- past. Who? For those who watched, you'll remember Daniels as contestant no. 81045 -- the 22-year-old guy with an with an afro, easy smile and tweed jacket who, before wowing judges with his rendition of Amos Lee's "Arms of a Woman," says he slept behind a dumpster. If you didn't watch, think of him as the one who was not a complete freak. Take a second and watch his initial "Idol" appearance: His audition falling roughly somewhere between an albino Bettie Page badly in need of new bra and several sociopathic Napoleon Dynamites with disconcerting voices and stalker potential, Daniels stood out not only as the kind of guy who might just go the distance, but the perfect antidote to last season's winner, Taylor Hicks. Then, on Friday, TMZ.com -- the AOL-backed site specializing...
By Liz | January 22, 2007; 10:41 AM ET | Comments (20)
Reality Check: B-List Stars Joining the Fray
The Diceman cometh... again. (Photo courtesy VH1) With "Flavor of Love" drawing monster ratings, it's no surprise that production companies are saturating the airwaves with even more burnt-out stars living their lives or thrown into unlikely situations. Below, a handful of new offerings: Armed & Famous Post TV critic Tom Shales describes CBS's attempt to horn in on the celeb-reality game thusly: "The show, which exists mainly to be ridiculed, features five feeble excuses for stars pretending to learn how to pretend to be policemen on the Muncie force." Those five feeble excuses, by the way, are Jack Osbourne (Ozzy's son), Jason "Wee-Man" Acuna ("Jackass"), Trish Stratus (pro wrestler), LaToya Jackson (questionable) and Erik Estrada ("CHiPs"). (Airing now on CBS) Shooting Sizemore Well, it's about time someone turned a junkie's home movies into a series. The premise: Character actor Tom Sizemore ("Saving Private Ryan," "Black Hawk Down") tries to...
By Liz | January 17, 2007; 10:43 AM ET | Comments (17)
Rosie vs. The 'Comb-over Bunny'
Donald Trump and Rosie O'Donnell. (AP Photos) Rosie O'Donnell and Donald Trump are still at it. Not only did Rosie up the ante yesterday by referring to Trump as a "comb-over bunny," the New York Post is also reporting that the "View" co-host took boss Barbara Walters to task yesterday for not defending her... enough. If you're late to this particular funfest, here's a quick recap: Miss USA Tara Conner is busted partying underage and comes thisclose to losing her crown. Trump, who owns the pageant, forgives her, saying she deserves a second chance. Rosie asks where Trump gets off posing as the moral compass for teenage girls and adds that he's been bankrupt several times. This is accompanied by some jabs at his swoosh of hair. Donald, incensed at Rosie's criticism, bites back. He calls Rosie fat. He calls Rosie a slob. American families are divided: reasonable, intelligent...
By Liz | January 9, 2007; 10:43 AM ET | Comments (69)
'Lost' Fall Finale: Dueling Analyses
Sawyer (Josh Holloway) getting all cagey. (2006 American Broadcasting Companies, Inc.) Jen: May I start out by saying, holy &!@#, how are we supposed to wait until February -- date of next episode 02/07/2007; figure out the numerology there -- to find out what happens next? So much in tonight's episode -- sex, lies, surgical shenanigans. I'm not sure where to begin. Liz: In case you missed it, BREAKING NEWS tickers are incredibly annoying during a frigging "fall finale." I'm as much of a news junkie as the next girl, but not when Sawyer is macking on Kate. I seriously need to have my head examined. Maybe before the next election. I'll put it on my to-do list. Anyway, last week's flashbacks fleshing out Mr. Eko's story were an intrinsic part of wrapping up his storyline. They fit in perfectly with the parallel island story and worked on so...
By Liz | November 9, 2006; 10:43 AM ET | Comments (84)
'Lost' Episode 5 Dueling Analyses
washingtonpost.com movies editor Jen Chaney and I messaged last night into the wee hours of the morning about the penultimate episode of the "Lost" fall season. ***SPOILER ALERT*** If you haven't yet watched Wednesday's episode, please watch online before reading what follows. Mr. Eko (Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje). (Photo courtesy ABC) Jen: This is apropos of nothing, but I feel compelled to mention this before we start discussing tonight's episode. Remember how a couple of weeks ago I mentioned something about Scientology? Since then, I've thought about more connections between "Lost" and L. Ron Hubbard, or at least Tom Cruise. 1. Crazy Claire-kidnapper Ethan? Played by Tom Cruise's cousin. 2. J.J. Abrams, "Lost" co-creator? Directed "Mission: Impossible III." 3. Most interestingly of all: At the end of the closing credits for "M:i:III," there is a thank you to... the Hanso Foundation. I realize this is probably just a funny Abrams inside joke,...
By Liz | November 2, 2006; 10:44 AM ET | Comments (157)
'Lost': Episode 4 Dueling Analyses
With two episodes left in the six-story fall mini-season, washingtonpost.com Movies editor Jen Chaney and I get into it over last night's revelations and reveal where we stand on the great Jack/Sawyer divide. Sawyer (Josh Holloway) -- despite all his rage, he's still just a rat in a cage. (Photo courtesy ABC) Liz: Okay, I'd like to start by personally extending my thanks to J.J. Abrams, Josh Holloway, Bill Duke and the fine citizens of Hawaii for making last night's episode possible because it more than made up for the last couple of weeks of lost momentum (no pun intended). So much rich material -- we had Sawyer with his back up, Kate declaring her love for him (under duress), Jack figuring out another piece of the puzzle, some masterful sadistic manipulation from Ben and a little help triangulating the whereabouts of the Others' prison compound. Okay, first off: Desmond...
By Liz | October 26, 2006; 10:44 AM ET | Comments (109)
'Lost': Episode 3 Dueling Analyses
washingtonpost.com movies editor Jen Chaney and I discuss last night's "Lost" and find we don't agree on, well, a lot. If you haven't watched, beware of SPOILERS. Charlie (Dominic Monaghan) looks on as Locke (Terry O'Quinn) prepares to enter the sweat lodge. (Photo courtesy ABC) Liz: So last week you were missing Hurley. Was tonight's re-introduction his best "Dude" ever? Jen: That was a pretty awesome "Dude." I wasn't sure who I was happier to see: Hurley or Boone. If I may wallow in shallowness for a brief moment, is it possible for Ian Somerhalder to be any hotter? Speaking of Boone, let's discuss that dream sequence... Liz: Ya, it was interesting to see John go all "Man Called Horse" and do the vision quest thing, but the overlong airport sequence struck me as so much filler. In fact, the whole episode -- minus a couple tidbits -- was filler...
By Liz | October 19, 2006; 10:44 AM ET | Comments (80)
'Lost': Episode 2 Dueling Analyses
Last night after the show ended, washingtonpost.com movies editor Jen Chaney and I talked "Lost." How did the Red Sox, Aldous Huxley and teen angst figure in last night's episode? Read on... Dude, long time no see. (AP) SPOILER ALERT! LIZ: Some juicy new information to process. Not surprisingly, most of it came in the last five minutes when Ben told Jack he'd lived his entire life on the island, proved they had some knowledge of the outside world and asked for Jack's cooperation in a yet-to-be-revealed way. We also had the short exchange between Kate and Rousseau's daughter, who seemed to be interested in the whereabouts of the previous occupant of Kate's cage -- who many last week suspected was an Other playing the role of a prisoner. Now it seems he may have been a bona fide prisoner named "Carl." The nicest touch in their exchange, though, was...
By Liz | October 12, 2006; 10:44 AM ET | Comments (88)
Tonight's 'Lost' Preview
'Lost's' Daniel Dae Kim. (AP) Just a quick heads up to remind folks that tonight is "Lost" night. The cryptically titled "Glass Ballerina" airs tonight on ABC at 9 p.m. ET. From the official site: "Sayid places Sun and Jin's lives in danger while trying to locate Jack, while Jack gets a tempting offer from his captors." I'm guessing it's not another grilled cheese. Hopefully this means we'll get some answers about the wellfare of Sun, Jin, Sayid, Locke, Hurley and the rest of the crew. Feel free to leave comments here before, during and after the show. Then tomorrow morning come back for post-show dueling analyses from washingtonpost.com movies editor Jen Chaney and me. P.S. Looks like ABC is now asking viewers to help build a new, official "Lost" wiki....
By Liz | October 11, 2006; 04:00 PM ET | Comments (6)
'Lost': Rehashing the Season Opener
Can I be in your book club? (AP) SPOILER ALERT A few quick thoughts on last night's season premiere. Please add yours to the comments section. - How bizarre is it that the Others have a quaint little suburban-ish compound and spend their days arguing over book club selections? Anyone catch which Stephen King book they were reading? And was the Other village as shocking as last year's season opening revelation of Desmond inside the hatch? - Juliet: Like her or hate her? She definitely proved untrustworthy, yet some groundwork for a power struggle with Ben (aka Henry Gale) seems to have been laid. - Why the different treatment for Jack? Why is he being kept inside and fed actual food while Sawyer (and apparently Kate) are being kept in some sort of decaying zoo enclosure eating kibble? - Any thoughts on what the "unpleasantness" promised to Kate over...
By Liz | October 5, 2006; 09:00 AM ET | Comments (52)
Ready to Get 'Lost'?
Dude, I'm like so ready. (Reuters) I thought I'd hold off on posting about "Lost" until Thursday morning so we could kick off the season-long conversation actually having some new information with which to work. But, duh, wouldn't it be much more practical to spend the next 60 hours or so swapping speculation, rumors and predictions about the coming season? Absolutely. All we officially know about Wednesday night's episode is its title "A Tale of Two Cities" and, from an ABC press release, that "Jack, Kate and Sawyer begin to discover what they are up against as prisoners of 'The Others.'" The rest is, as they say, a big ol' cliffhanger. Did Mr. Eko and Locke survive the exploding hatch? What about Desmond -- did he save the island or set the castaways on a collision course with the Others? Will Michael and Walt really leave or will Michael's...
By Liz | October 2, 2006; 10:58 AM ET | Comments (27)
Friday List: TV Casualties
Ah, fall. Suddenly the world -- at least within a two-mile radius of D.C. -- has gone all cool air, pumpkins, mums and new TV season debuts. The husband and I have been feverishly rearranging our lives -- and DVR -- to handle a whole new schedule. Already, we have some good ("The Simpsons," "COPS"), some bad ("Men in Trees") and some ugly ("Survivor"), but we're still awaiting a few yet to debut. Since it's Friday, I thought TV proclivities might make for a great Friday list. Specifically, TV casualties of two kinds: 1. No matter how many of us profess a desire to curb our TV habit, most tend to sacrifice at least some small part of our lives to at least one show -- be it sitcom, Adult Swim or Stephen Colbert. Hence, we are TV casualties. 2. The other variety of TV casualty: the quality entertaining show...
By Liz | September 22, 2006; 10:43 AM ET | Comments (113)
Reality Check
We're at kind of a crossroads, reality show-wise, so I thought it might be a good idea to check in on a few and take your pulse about what's worth watching. We'll start with the few I'm currently somewhat up on: Lukas Rossi, one lucky son of a "Headspin"-inspiring mommy. (Getty Images) Rock Star: Supernova As I wrote last week, this is my favorite. That is, until it ended last night with the boneheaded "band" picking Lukas Rossi (aka Chaka) to front their re-branded two-month tour. Evs. In any case, it's all over now, but the show returns next summer for an all femme competition. (Note to self: Start singing lessons and piercings now.) Does this bow tie go with heels? (AP) Dancing With The Stars As is the case with many of these celeb-studded shows, "star" is a loose term used to describe anyone from a faded talkshow host...
By Liz | September 14, 2006; 10:45 AM ET | Comments (35)
'Rock Star': You Be the Judge
Truly we live in a wondrous age. We are able to order live Maryland crabs online, watch movies (or parrots) while driving a minivan and, in this era of unprecedented plenty, there is indeed a reality show for everyone. My reality show is "Rock Star." Yes, it's contrived and a little more Disney than CBGB, but dammit, any show that can recast tattooed former junkies into a lovable panel of show hosts gets my vote as quality entertainment. L - R: Toby, Patrice, Dilana, Storm, Ryan, Lukas and Zayra. (Getty Images) This season in particular has captured my imagination. Perhaps because I have a soft spot for Tommy Lee or because Gilby Clarke was a part of Guns N Roses or because Jason Newstead has rocked a Voivod shirt in at least one show a week since the beginning of the competition. I'm not sure why, but I don't want...
By Liz | September 7, 2006; 10:45 AM ET | Comments (58)
Catching Up with Robbie Rist
I am a dork. A huge dork. You read the blog, you know this. I am caught up in "Rock Star: Supernova," I wrote a thesis yesterday about "Celebrity Duets" and I admittedly worship a William Shatner video. We all have issues. Cousin Oliver, circa 1974. I wasn't aware of how big of a dork I am, though, until I was on the phone with a certain Robbie Rist and spied my reflection in my darkened computer monitor. I was grinning from ear to ear like a corn-syrup-addled six-year-old. That's because Rist is, you guessed it, the guy in the picture to the right here. Cute, wholesome, precocious Cousin Oliver from "The Brady Bunch" and if you, too, were reared by the television in the early- to mid-70s, the Bradys are also a part of your extended family. So, when I found myself talking to Rist on Tuesday, I knew...
By Liz | August 31, 2006; 10:40 AM ET | Comments (28)
Perfect Pitch: Celebrity Duets
As a child of the 70s, I was privileged to live in the era of the variety show. Sonny and Cher, the Mandrell sisters, Donnie and Marie Osmond, "Hee-Haw," Sha-Na-Na, the Muppets -- even the Brady Bunch -- all jostled one another for the primetime viewers by unleashing a cavalcade of fading stars and corny skits to us on an almost nightly basis. And guess what kids, there was no cable so it was Donnie and Marie hamming it up with Ruth Buzzi or -- bummer -- back to the Spirograph or, heavens forbid, a book. Singer Cheech Marin. (Photo Courtesy Fox Broadcasting) So it was no surprise last night when former variety show queen (and current disturbing doll designer) Marie Osmond herself declared that television variety is back. And so it is, as a somewhat predictable off-shoot from the celeb-reality tree. It was only a matter of time before...
By Liz | August 30, 2006; 11:52 AM ET | Comments (31)
'Survivor's' Dis-Integration
We may not live in an era with a snazzy moniker like "Enlightenment" or "Rennaissance" or even "Industrial Revolution," but at least we can say we were around for the decline of Western civilization. There is no clearer harbinger of the end times than the avalanche of reality shows jockeying for our scant TV viewing attention -- from "Extreme Makeover's" Frankensteinish reinvention of average Joes and Jills to the intimate peeks inside soon-to-fail celebrity marriages to unapologetic teens squandering their parents' disposable income on Sweet 16 parties to adults who will eat bugs or face extreme danger for the opportunity to one day evade taxes -- our society reached its acme sometime in the mid-70s. We are Caligula at this point. Me, I'm tempted to crawl into a fetal position with my Betamax and watch the glory days of TV -- you know, "Alice," "Falcon Crest," "The Brady Bunch" (that...
By Liz | August 24, 2006; 10:43 AM ET | Comments (55)
Tom & Jerry, Bad Influences?
Today we take a step back from the world of celebrity to pay a visit to the world of cartoons. It's okay, you'll be comfortable here. There's not much difference: a cast of exaggerated characters all clamoring for your attention span. The only difference? The cartoons are one-dimensional. Oh, wait. Well, at least they're not smoking. (Courtesy Hanna-Barbera) In particular, yesterday afternoon I ran across a story about Turner Broadcasting which is currently scouring its catalog of 1,500 hours of Hanna-Barbera cartoons to remove scenes that "glamorize" smoking. The move is in response to one viewer's complaint about an episode of "Tom and Jerry." A Turner spokesperson said the viewer complained about a cartoon in which Tom lights a cigarette in an attempt to impress a female cat and that only cartoons "where smoking could be deemed to be cool or glamorized," would be cut and that scenes in which...
By Liz | August 22, 2006; 10:45 AM ET | Comments (60)
K-Fed Up With the Teen Choice Awards
A decade and a half away from my teenage years, I am not ashamed to say that I thoroughly enjoyed watching last night's Teen Choice Awards. And by "thoroughly enjoyed" I mean an evening spent engaging in adolescent-style criticisms and witticisms about the entire production, ably assisted by my equally juvenile husband. Confession: As K-Fed performed I wished that Ludacris and Snoop Dogg would suddenly spring onto the stage, ninja style, and lock him in his piano. (AP) Still, some things about the show remain cryptic to my age-addled brain. No doubt there were parts of the production understood only by consumer culture drones between the ages of 13 - 19. Perhaps some teen, or the parent of a teen, can answer my lingering questions from last night's show: 1. Why was there a hot tub full of girls on the corner of the stage? I have to admit I...
By Liz | August 21, 2006; 10:48 AM ET | Comments (49)
For Bill Shatner, Phasers Set to Roast
William Shatner poses for photographers ahead of his Comedy Central roast. Browse a gallery of the night's attendees. (AP) William Shatner. His very name bespeaks of the past tense of, umm, something bears do in the woods. It suggests that he was once hot something but is now the past tense of that something. True enough, though he has found a post-Trek life on ABC's moderately successful "Boston Legal." It's "Star Trek," though, that made him a cultural icon and, tapping into this, Comedy Central wisely chose him as the latest honoree in their too infrequent roasts (The last roast, of Pam Anderson, is worth catching in re-run). "Star Trek," coincidentally, celebrates its 40th anniversary this year. There's no shortage of rich material (expect jokes about Shatner's halting speech, his "music" career, his status as a Trekkie god, his girth) or of quality roasters (Carrie Fisher, Betty White, Nichelle...
By Liz | August 18, 2006; 10:43 AM ET | Comments (11)
A "View" I Could Do Without
If we weren't already in the midst of a very important vote here at Celebritology, I'd be tempted to offer another poll asking the burning questions arising out of all this Star Jones Reynolds/"View" fallout: Who cares? Who watches "The View?" And can the rest of this shrewish coven go away along with Jones Reynolds? The "View" crew in happier days -- February. (AP) To quickly recap for those of you lucky enough to have missed this: In April, Meredith Vieira announces she's leaving "The View" to co-host NBC's "Today." Soon after, ABC announces Rosie O'Donnell will take over Vieira's empty chair on "The View." Rumor has it Rosie wants Star gone by the time she arrives in September. Executive producer Barbara Walters denies this or any other changes to the lineup and the morning gabfest returns to normal (or as normal as it can be considering the show's inane...
By Liz | June 29, 2006; 10:43 AM ET | Comments (43)
Two Coreys Are Better Than One
Once upon a time there were two boys named Corey: Corey Feldman and Corey Haim. In the course of a decade they went from cool to kitsch, from potential River Phoenixes to, well, a two-headed C-list monster known as "The Coreys." We loved them, we hated them, we loved to hate them. For years now, wistful 30-somethings like me have dared to dream a little dream that the Coreys would find their way back to the limelight together. Feldman has released a couple albums (the refreshingly named "Former Child Actor"), appeared on a season of "The Surreal Life" and variously claimed Michael Jackson made him look at dirty pictures. Haim's recent history has been a bit more troubled. Although both Coreys can add addiction to their CVs, Haim suffered a drug-induced stroke in 2001. He now maintains he's clean and sober. Positive movement has finally been detected on the Corey...
By Liz | June 22, 2006; 10:44 AM ET | Comments (10)
Forget Paris (And Nicole)
On Sunday, the new season of the Paris Hilton/Nicole Richie ditz-fest, "The Simple Life: Till Death Do Us Part" premiered on E! Not wanting to miss the season finale of "The Sopranos," I dutifully recorded it. I watched it last night. (AP/E! Networks) I loathe both Paris and Nicole and my threshold for watching them and actually having to listen to them talk is about four minutes. I somehow made it through about nine minutes of this show before deleting it from my DVR and gouging out my eyes. It was the equivalent of holding my breath underwater for nine minutes. In which case, eat my shorts David Blaine. The fact that Hilton and Richie are even still doing the show together -- despite a very public, long-running feud -- is suspect. Particularly since they don't address the source of the falling out. The only reference to their animosity is...
By Liz | June 7, 2006; 10:43 AM ET | Comments (13)
Mr. T's A Game
An American icon: Mr. T. (AP) There's just something about Mr. T that makes one smile. At least this one. C'mon, we loved him in "Rocky III," "The A-Team" and the 1-800-COLLECT ads. And how many of us wouldn't be able to identify an "I pity the fool" reference in three syllables or less? The man is a bona fide cultural treasure. And finally someone in a position to do something about it has offered T a ticket back to the small screen -- and not in a demeaning "Surreal Life" second act. T will be the star of his very own weekly advice show. That's right, advice show. From the official TV Land press release: TV Land has picked up six episodes of this Dr. Phil-meets-Tony-Robbins reality show in which Mr. T stars in the unlikely role of social scientist traveling across the country to dispense his own...
By Liz | May 3, 2006; 10:43 AM ET | Comments (10)
Rocking the Prime Time Line-Up, Part 2
On Friday, after word that Mick Jagger will star in his very own ABC sitcom this fall, I asked readers to come up with alternate sitcom pitches (because surely we can do better than the current Jagger premise -- a group of New Yorkers trying to rob his apartment. Talk about mission improbable.) For the Simpsons, a bite of reality. Anyhoo, you came through with some excellent concepts. See the full range of offerings here. A few of the best are excerpted below. Cat Scratch Liver: Ted Nugent gets a liver transplant and has to take a job in a veterinarian clinic. (JP Evans) Money for Nothing: Dire Straits frontman Mark Knopfler teaches buttoned-down students from New England prep schools how to become petty street criminals and pickpockets. (Ed) The Simpsons: Jessica and Ashlee Simpson both gain 50 pounds and learn how difficult the life of a musician is when...
By Liz | May 1, 2006; 10:43 AM ET | Comments (2)
Rocking the Prime Time Line-Up
I see a sitcom and I want to paint it black. (AP) As noted earlier this week, Rolling Stones frontman Mick Jagger is slated to star in his own TV sitcom this fall on ABC. So far, the premise is a bit fuzzy, but U.K.'s Guardian newspaper confirms Jagger has completed work on a pilot and describes the show as a "24-part series about a group of hard-up New Yorkers who decide to rob Mick Jagger." The working title? "Let's Rob Mick Jagger." Oooohkay. We can do better than that. This thing could be the latest in the wave of crossover TV stars and our ticket to pilot gold. If captains of industry (Donald Trump) and princesses of trust funds (Paris Hilton) can make it on the small screen, why not Mick and a slew of other former guitar slingers? There have to be halls-of-fame full of aging rockers...
By Liz | April 28, 2006; 10:43 AM ET | Comments (17)
Does Celebrity-Made Food Taste Better?
Another Monday, another post about my Monday evening TV aspirations. Last week, you might recall I had high hopes for TLC's new reality show "Honey, We're Killing the Kids." The series' right-minded goal to re-educate Americans about the perils of convenience food sounded promising. I'm all for positive reinforcement when it comes to eating well and TLC's had some reality wins in the past with shows like "Little People, Big World" and "Miami Ink." The reality didn't live up to the hype. I wasn't able to get through an entire episode. Show host and nutritionist Dr. Lisa Hark came off as wooden and preachy, the computer morphs of the kids were repeated far too many times and the game show-ish set where the parents were confronted was just too reminiscent of "The Swan" or even "Who Wants to be a Millionaire." What's worse, the diet changes struck me at too...
By Liz | April 17, 2006; 10:43 AM ET | Comments (9)
Not All Reality Bites
The reality TV phenomenon has worn a little thin for me. An avid "Real World" fan from the get-go (almost 15 years ago!), I think my eyes started glazing over sometime around "The Anna Nicole Show." My fascination with "Flavor of Love" was nothing short of a sickness, one from which I've now recovered (I won't be there for a rumored second season). I can still get into a little vintage "Osbournes," but tend to shy away from "Meet the Barkers." It's just seems that in the past few years, reality TV has become completely unreal. It's all the "Surreal Life," if ya get my meaning. In what world -- other than one involving hefty payments -- would Daniel Baldwin, Biz Markie and the freaking Snapple lady compete to lose weight? It's like watching a train wreck and one can only watch so many wrecks without developing post traumatic stress...
By Liz | March 28, 2006; 10:43 AM ET | Comments (19)
'Flavor' Leaves a Bad Aftertaste
For anyone who hasn't chanced upon the train wreck that is VH1's "Flavor of Love," you'll have your final chance on Sunday when the season finale airs at 10 p.m. ET. The show's premise is a lot like "The Bachelor": Former Public Enemy sidekick Flavor Flav starts out with 20 women all living in one house, vying for a chance to be Mrs. Flav. The field is slowly narrowed down as they primp, gossip, plot against each other and jump through inane hoops to prove their love for Flavor. Reality TV poster child Flavor Flav and "Strange Love" Brigitte Nielson in 2004. (Post) There's something about Flavor Flav you just have to love. Sure, he's a little "eccentric" and despite the fact that he should be a footnote (though an important one) in the history of hip-hop, he's still out there working it and on his own terms. But that...
By Liz | March 10, 2006; 10:43 AM ET | Comments (54)
For the Forgetful, a Sopranos Cheat Sheet
Rumors are already flying about season six of "The Sopranos," which finally returns to HBO Sunday night. I don't want to get whacked for trafficking in rumors here, but Newsweek reported earlier this week that we'll see "a murder, a suicide, a maiming, a fatal heart attack and a shooting - all in the first episode." I can't effing wait. I also barely remember where we left off. It's been 21 long months, after all, since we had a new episode. That's okay, though. We're on David Chase time and good things come to those who wait. Unless you're a stoolie. Tough guys Michael Imperioli, James Gandolfini, Tony Sirico, Steven Van Zandt. (HBO) Betting that I'm not alone, here's a quick, dirty overview of where the main characters ended up at the close of episode 65. For a fuller review (because I'm sure I'm missing entire plotlines here), the official...
By Liz | March 9, 2006; 10:04 AM ET | Comments (25)
