'Dancing' With Donny & Marie

First, a moment of silence for poor Jennie Garth's face. It's one thing to make a misstep or flub a turn on "Dancing With the Stars," but a finish that involves a total collapse onto the floor after a partner slips on your dress and whacks you pretty much in the eye? Ouch. But that's what happened to Ms. 90210 at the close of her quickstep; while sliding through the legs of her partner, Derek Hough, he lost his balance and they all came tumbling down.

Garth gamely held back what looked like tears in the aftermath (whether from pain or disappointment is another question; we'll have to wait until tonight to see if there's bruising), but the judges still gave her a 21--which pretty much was the score of the night, given that 4 others finished with the same number. Maybe it's because she had that whole ice-blond, pale-skin, lovely-carriage Grace Kelly look going on. Anyway, even she looked surprised at how nice the judges were to her in the end.

Now, on to the highs and the lows:
Only Week Two and already there is a clear-cut favorite among the men, and also one among the women. Helio Castroneves, wow. If anyone thought his first week's performance was a fluke, well, he topped it with his mambo, winning the night with nines across the board. For someone who spends his time trapped in a very small space (as in an Indy 500 car), the man can move. And all those who thought Ms. Cheetah Girl couldn't duplicate her first-night success when forced to dance ballroom, well, Sabrina Bryan put her doubters to bed. No hip-hop moves to be seen, but score her a second straight 26.

Still, the most eyebrow-raising performance of the night came from Marie Osmond, who ditched that matronly wear she adopted last week in favor of a flirty black number (and frequently mambo-ed it up her thighs) while brother Donny worked the crowd in her favor. She was flirty, she was entertaining, she got the standing ovation of the night -- and she proved that the hot young things are not necessarily going to run off with this competition, even if the delicious guys (see: Cameron Mathison and Albert Reed, for starters) are playing off their sex appeal for points. Congrats, Marie, on getting all eights, for an impressive 24.

Another glorious grande dame was, once again, Jane Seymour. It's hard to look at her and not have the jaw drop when it comes to her ability to wear the most (tastefully) revealing of outfits at her age and look fabulous. This week, she danced the mambo in a dress with a fringed mini that showed off legs a 19-year-old would envy and wound up in the fat 21-point pack. (That pack also included Reed, Mathison, boxer Floyd Mayweather, and, as mentioned before, Garth).

Mel B (aka, Scary Spice) got a healthy 23.

Which brings us to the bottom dwellers. We loved that Wayne Newton danced to "Viva Las Vegas," but there just isn't any "quick step" really left in Mr. Las Vegas, which was certainly a handicap. With a score of 15, his only salvation will be if Mark Cuban, the wholly determined but definitely stiff billionaire gets creamed by the public vote. But, if Cuban does go down in the smoke of Newton's fan base, he can take heart in the fact that his pants actually fit this time around.

Scoreboard:
Helio Castroneves: 27
Sabrina Bryan: 26
Marie Osmond: 24
Mel B: 23
Jennie Garth: 21
Cameron Mathison: 21
Floyd Mayweather: 21
Albert Reed: 21
Jane Seymour: 21
Mark Cuban: 18
Wayne Newton: 15

-- Jennifer Frey

By Jennifer Frey |  October 2, 2007; 8:18 AM ET Dancing With the Stars
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