'Dancing': If ONLY It Were a Dancing Contest...
I hate to say I told you so... Especially when what I told you that Helio -- never mind those two left feet -- would win, thanks to his dimpled grin and stage-hogging flashiness of his dancing partner. The best woman -- Mel B -- didn't win. A woman has never won "DWTS," even when she's hands-down, the better of the two -- what's up with that? (Kelly Monaco, you say? To you I say: Remember the dance-off.) Eh, it's a popularity contest, what are you going to do?
My bitterness is greatly tempered one thing: Marie didn't win, either! And she got the boot early on in the evening, giving me faith that yes, there is a dancing god. (And how is Donny O going to continue to ride her coattails as "Entertainment Tonight's" "special correspondent"?)
Even while she was heading out the door, though, she continued to grate on my nerves. "I am so pleased to be here at my age." Girlfriend! You're not old! You just dance old! Baryshnikov will be 60 in two months and he's still dancing, full-out. Jane Seymour has a good many years on Marie...
Speaking of old, Wayne Newton, he of the freeze-dried face and the shoe-polish hair, didn't dance, thanks to his recent health scare. But he said his doctor cleared him to perform with the "DWTS" tour. Oooh, can't wait. Floyd Mayweather didn't dance, either, because he's got a fight coming up on 12/8: "Grueling training camp." He's no dummy -- he knows who's signing his checks.
Those that did dance pretty much demonstrated why they got the ax early on, except of course, Sabrina, who wiggled and jiggled and jete'ed and did just about everything she could to prove that the voters got it wrong, wrong, wrong.
This was a show filled with filler, with endless montages of past episodes, including a puzzling one that showed clips of sizzling hot dance moments on the show... including Marie's famous faint. Freudian slip, maybe, on the part of the producers? After all, they got a lot of ratings mileage out of Marie conking out on the dance floor. So for them, I guess, it was a sizzling sexy moment. Drama on "DWTS" = endless coverage on "Entertainment Tonight" and in the tabloids. Everybody wins!
I'm no Celine Dion fan, but she looked good, sounded good and kept the cheese factor to a minimum. And for that, I am grateful.
Mel B reprised her mambo, a smart move after Monday night's freestyle dud. It showed her off, spicy, sexy. Len told her, "You are an absolute revelation." She scored a perfect 30 for a total score of 85.
Helio reprised his zoot-suit jig, mugging and grinning and then, at the end of his number,
grabbing Julianne and planting a big, wet one on her lips. A kiss that went on, and on, and on.... Any day now, I'm expecting an US Weekly cover with them declaring their undying love for each other.
Please email us to report offensive comments.
Posted by: Chris | November 28, 2007 12:58 PM
Posted by: Elvis | November 28, 2007 1:16 PM
Posted by: rickNmd | November 28, 2007 1:42 PM
Posted by: dacnova | November 28, 2007 7:24 PM
Posted by: dacnova | November 28, 2007 7:28 PM
Posted by: dallas | December 15, 2007 6:55 PM
The comments to this entry are closed.