'Top Model': Bottom of the Barrel?

It struck us just as last night's episode of "America's Next Top Model" wrapped up.

Seven girls stood before her. But as hard as we tried, we didn't see a star in the bunch. Plenty of pretty girls (even one that could do body-double work for Rihanna). But every one of them a laconic funhouse-mirror reflection of what we want in our Adriana Limas and yes, even our Tyra Bankses.

They're snoozers.

And "ANTM" isn't what we want it to be anymore either. It's boring, even a little disturbing -- like Joanna in those in those late-night mineral-makeup ads.

Let's take Neal Hamil, head (master?) of Elite Model Management, who dropped by during last night's show. Our heart beat fast in anticipation. Surely, if he says there's a model among these seven ladies, he'd know it. Right?

But did anyone else feel seriously in the Twilight Zone looking at him next to Benny Ninja, wearing a somewhat wrinkled suit that we're pretty sure was woven of the finest polyrayon around? And glasses that looked as if they belonged to Ryan O'Neal. In 1982?

Neal Hamil, if you lost your luggage, no need to be shy about it. Please, share. It's the "ANTM" way.
Between yawns, we recorded these occurrences:

The girls, challenged to learn to be muses, think this somehow means imposing their personalities on designers and whining when they're misunderstood.

Bianca and Heather find themselves in strikingly similar circumstances. Each senses her dress doesn't say a thing about them. But Bianca actually summons a nonsensical but believable defense of that HIDEOUS dress. We note that she must get extra points for putting that ill-fitting, twins-crushing Bjork dress on, rather than just storming out and saving herself.

The girls also learn that the great trip this season is a journey to the Great Wall. They're going to China.

But not Ambreal.

Which brings us to a lesson learned in last night's episode: No fashion shoot ever features a model flat on the floor crossing their legs in front of her. Nope, Ambreal, that's grounds for dismissal.

--Lavanya Ramanathan

By Lavanya Ramanathan |  November 15, 2007; 8:28 AM ET America's Next Top Model
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Posted by: BC | November 16, 2007 02:11 PM

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