The 'Top Model' Winner? Cover Girl
Meet "America's Next Top Model," Saleisha. Brought to you by the Priory of Pretty, better know as the wholesome-hawking cult of Cover Girl.
Not to go all "Da Vinci Code" with the conspiracy theories, but that's all we could think of when edgy Jenah was tossed back over the Great Wall of China, back across the Atlantic, right back to Connecticut, leaving Chantal and Saleisha to "battle" it out. (We know, we know: dependably mediocre Chantal?)
You go, Cover Girl: Saleisha, right, strutted to the title. (James Wade/The CW)
Saleisha's win was a gimme. The only surprise that she could have dropped was that she's actually Suri Cruise. But that's not the plot we've uncovered. A stint in Tyra's now-defunct Camp Tzone, even a little runway strut on the Tyra Banks Show, doesn't seem to us enough reason to give a cute girl the top spot. Tyra's not looking for a Camp Tzone success story; it is, after all, defunct (see above), announced more than a year ago.
No, we've contended from the beginning that "ANTM" is looking for a working model to salvage the legitimacy of the competition. And Saleisha already has work under her belt. A good fit for the title, the Seventeen magazine spread, the Elite modeling contract. And the Cover Girl gig.
Therein lies our conspiracy. The clues flashed, Dan Brown-style, before our eyes: The constant references to who'd make a good Cover Girl. The offing of Lisa, who just happened to be an exotic dancer. The constant demand from the judges to be less "pin-up." And did you notice this time that none of them seemed to so much as have visible boyfriends, much less kids? And then: Chantal, who has All-American charm oozing from her perfectly tiny pores, but doesn't do a thing for fashion.
Bear with us: Perhaps it isn't the hope of walking down the runway for Marc Jacobs that drives this competition. No, what if the only hopes and dreams being met were that of Cover Girl, also a major "ANTM" advertiser (and one of the few guaranteed gigs these girls will ever see)?
So maybe it is all rigged, just not in the way some of us think. We don't know about you, but we're happy to bid this cycle of "ANTM" farewell. The thrill is gone, it's undeniable. We're now looking forward to Bravo's upcoming series "Make Me a Supermodel," which will let viewers, not bucks, decide its competition, "American Idol"-style. America does have a better track record determining talent than Tyra & Co.
-- LAVANYA RAMANATHAN
By Lavanya Ramanathan |
December 13, 2007; 10:26 AM ET
America's Next Top Model
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Posted by: Miss Know-it-all | December 13, 2007 04:15 PM
I am really suprised Chantal didnt win. The judges even said... she is the supreme high fashion model.
Posted by: CorinneL | December 13, 2007 05:11 PM
This cycle was really dreadful, and I think you're right about it being the search for the best Cover Girl. But that's not really all that surprising. I just wish the judges would stop pretending it's about finding some one high-fashion and admit they're going for girl-next-door commercial.
(Why? Why do I care so much about this dumb show? Sigh.)
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Posted by: bob | January 2, 2008 08:34 PM
The comments to this entry are closed.
Actually, I am fine with a Tootie Carparts win, because that means the runners-up (and truly worthy) will actually have *real* modeling careers. Case in point: Mollie Sue, who was summarily dismissed only to have a fabulous career in Europe. So, let Tootie sign autographs and slather cheap lip gloss on girls at Wal-Mart; Heather and Jenah can go on and be real models. Congrats, Tootie!