'Celebrity Apprentice': And Let Us All Now Mourn Gene Simmons

It's clear that Trump didn't want to do it. He all but begged Gene Simmons to put Nely on the chopping block, so he could have an excuse to preserve the single most interesting part of his new season as early as Week 3.

Alas, Simmons refused. He refused and refused and made it impossible not to get fired -- which, of course, makes it pretty clear that what Simmons wanted was to do a few weeks' worth of favors to his buddy Mr. Trump and hightail it right out there.

So, in memoriam, here is the briefest of recaps, followed by The Gene Simmons Quote Treasury from tonight:

Trump challenged Gene, as project manager of last week's winning task, to go save the poor women from themselves and, after a bit of hesitation, he agreed. The challenge: to take an Airbus and turn it into a mobile world that advertised Kodak's new digital printer and, more to the point, the really, really cheap ink that goes into it.

The men got the concept, fouled up the presentation -- thanks to a major computer disaster when the combination of a half-naked Tito Ortiz and a half-naked Lennox Lewis and a (thankfully) not half-naked Stephen Baldwin shooting a photo on top of the conference table resulted in a cup of coffee spilling onto a computer keyboard and burning up their visuals. So, the boys' trailer looked like garbage -- but their message was on target.

Simmons, pontificating from start to finish about knowing better than any Kodak exec., or anyone else on the planet for that matter, sent sappy, mushy, too-talkative Nely Galan and Carol Alt (still middling on her) to Kodak, where Nely blew it with constant Interruptions and came back without a clue as to what client wanted.

Boys win again; girls lose third week in a row, Gene notwithstanding.

Trump begs Simmons, as project manager, to bring Nely back into the Boardroom. Simmons says he wants to bring Omarosa alone. Trump goes back to the well and insists Simmons bring back two people and still Simmons won't pick Nely. Instead, he brings back poor Jennie Finch, who has been portrayed as nothing but eye candy at this point. Trump fires Simmons, clearly annoyed that his ratings have just taken a hit due to the stubbornness of his Kiss friend.

And now, herewith, the quote-a-thon:

Gene on getting asked to lead the women's team: "It's a role I was born for . . . I'm the king of all women!"

Gene on not bothering to meet with Kodak execs: "I am arrogant and I certainly have the expertise to know what Kodak does need. Damn it, if I were sitting on the sidelines, I'd say, 'Gene Simmons, you're a powerful and attractive man.' "

Gene upon going over to the lead the women upon his firing: "In their present form, the women don't even have a popcorn fart chance of ever shining the guys' shoes."

Oh, and did I mention that at one point Gene referred to Trump as "the devil." To his face?

Sigh. Swoon. Must it have ended so soon?

That said, here's tonight's bonus quote, courtesy Omarosa, who played relatively nice-nice the whole task, only to stand up (!) for Jennie in the boardroom once Simmons makes her part of the final three:

"He [Simmons] is not going to notice any women in and around him who are not doing things to pleasure him."

-- JENNIFER FREY

Jennifer Frey  |  January 18, 2008; 12:45 PM ET Celebrity Apprentice
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