'Dancing With The Stars': A Bad Arm and a Fake Butt
Thwack. Kristi not only gets hit upside the head for imperfection this time around, but she gets dumped down the leaderboard to No. 4 -- out of six celebs -- in the first round of the competition's first double-dance night. Now, mind you, the major criticism is that the spectacularly difficult spin and drop she does is not perfect (never mind that no other contestant could possibly attempt them). But. Still. A moment for parity here, please.
Ah, yes, Kristi rebounds in the Latin half of the night -- when she decides to compete with Marissa for Biggest Hair of the Competition -- to finish second. Still, she gets her first 8 score ever. This is a rough night.
Speaking of that 8, help me out here. What's even more uncomfortable than crotchety pants, because clearly Len is wearing them this time out? He's such a crank monster that when Carrie Ann and Bruno bestow more 10's on Kristi, he can't even muster up a 9. This, because he's apparently annoyed that she threw in some "boogaloo" hip-hop into her Cha Cha Cha. I like Len, but this time around I'm feeling like my toothless uncle from Texas got in the judges' chair.
The key moment of the night falls to the first non-Derek medical crisis: Cristian goes limp in a cramping left arm midway through his second dance and can't finish (let alone hold up Cheryl). The judges are all sympathetic and say they'll just base their scores on what he's done so far, but if that's the case, what he'd done so far was really lousy because he got 7's across the board. (Cristian was sent to the hospital for safety's sake, but initial analysis was a pulled muscle).
Forget the arm, though, let's move on to the fake booty. After getting all huffy last week about being told her practically nonexistent hips don't shake it well enough, Shannon not only dons a fake butt under her costume, but she also decides to plant it right in Len's face, not once but twice, in the course of her Latin performance. Len manages to muster up the phrase "bionic bum," but Carrie Ann is left entirely speechless. Frankly, I'm with Carrie Ann.
(Oh, and let us all note that Shannon chastises Derek for working her hard in the pre-dance tape with this: "Not when you go home alone tonight." Ahem. Now, at least they are trying to float a bit of the showmance.)
The man of the night is Jason, rebounding from last week's sink-fest to top the leaderboard despite getting totally torpedoed in his Latin dance by the music -- which is built around the hideous "Monday Night Football" theme song. And he and Edyta wear these awful themed outfits in Miami Dolphin colors. ACK, ACK, ACK. If he didn't have those hips working, I'm turning away. As it turns out, though, he's smoking in both dances and walks away with the night's best combo score. In fact, he even pouts for a sec when Len won't pony up the 10 the others give him for his ballroom performance. (Note to Len: Time to buy new underwear.)
Marissa, meanwhile, continues to rise -- they put her hair in a bun for her first dance! shocking! -- and Mario continues to skate on the edge of trouble, given that it's now evident that those 16-year-old girls who like to drool over 21-year-old boys don't actually use their text-messaging moments on this show.
To the scoreboard:
Jason: 29/26 = 55
Kristi: 26/28 = 54
Marissa: 27/25 = 52
Mario: 24/27 = 51
Shannon: 27/24 = 51
Cristian: 25/21 = 46
-- JENNIFER FREY
By Jennifer Frey |
April 29, 2008; 11:59 AM ET
Dancing With the Stars
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Next: 'Dancing With the Stars': The Sympathy Vote?
Posted by: md | April 29, 2008 2:02 PM
I'll be really sorry if Cristian goes tomorrow. I'll miss my eye candy! I'd really prefer an early exit for one of the other weaker performers--Marissa, Mario, or Shannon.
I wasn't sure what to make of the football-themed paso. It did make me laugh, tho. I liked goal post arm positions at the end. But, boy, Len sure hated it, didn't he? Crankypants, indeed.
All in all, it wasn't a feel good kind of evening, was it?
Posted by: alex | April 29, 2008 3:07 PM
I am ready for Shannon to go. While I think she dances well enough and is lovely, her whiny attitude and "are they/ aren't they" romance has taxed my patience. I would like Christian to come back for at least another week as compensation for the unfairly low scores they received for the second dance.
Posted by: Vienna | April 29, 2008 4:26 PM
I agree, Vienna. I don't have anything against Shannon, but it doesn't appear that she is going to improve much. She seems to have hit a plateau. I'm pretty much over the theatrics and drama, too.
I think Cristian WAS scored too low. I wonder if he'll be saved by a lot of sympathy votes. I did hear rumors that his injury might be more serious than initially thought, though, so he may not even be able to continue even if he isn't voted off. So he may be gone anyway. :-(
The judges are all over the place with their scores. They really do seem arbitrary and unfair to me--almost like they're sending messages rather than objectively judging the performances. They certainly appear to judge Kristi based on a whole different set of standards than the rest of the dancers.
Posted by: alex | April 29, 2008 6:29 PM
Agree with so much of above. I think judges were told to be tougher on Kristi and not let her be #1 again, or else viewers would get bored - not enough competition.
Christian was scored too low - his dance was smoking hot until he was injured.
Jason's routine definitely mirrored Cameron's Superman stint. Much of same choreography including ending. Music was similar in feel/tempo so it made copying easy.
Time for Shannon to go. So sick of her personality - or lack thereof, and I agree with judges - she is gawky, awkward - really not very graceful. She's been skating by on her looks and Derek. I think viewers will be turned off.
I like Mario, but not as much as Christian. I don't like Katrina, his partner, and haven't since her unsportsmanlike behavior when she and Mario Lopez lost to Emmett Smith and Cheryl.
Posted by: guiltypleasure | April 30, 2008 11:48 AM
Interesting to see different reactions. I have to say, however, that Cristian was saved by the sympathy vote, pushing Marissa one spot below him (#5 instead of #4). Marissa is on the upswing, and Cristian? Who knows? He is the most inconsistent of everyone left.
I'm not sure what some were watching, but the 7's were earned. For whatever reason, he did not have "it" on Monday. Par for the course for Mr. Inconsistency. My wife and I each commented on how off beat he was in the Samba - WELL before he pulled the tendon.
Also, of all the men left, he doesn't take criticism or failure very well, which is to be expected given his ego (not a bad thing all the time; his passion is great otherwise). Mario, on the other hand, has been a gentleman throughout, despite being underscored at times. His Samba rocked, and was only a couple of slips away from a 30.
Unless Marissa drops and Cristian rises, it is he who goes next week. Top three are starting to look like Jason, Mario, and Kristi.
Posted by: wxdancer | April 30, 2008 1:48 PM
I agree with wxdancer that Cristian's time on DWTS is still going to be shortlived. (I'm sorry. I confess that I barely watch him dance; I just like looking at him.) Unless something really unexpected happens--and it might given the nature of the audience votes--we're most likely to see Jason and Kristi in the finals.
I also agree that Mario has been scored too low some weeks. I think that harks back to the time he took time away from rehearsals to take care of personal commitments. The judges figuratively slapped him around with low scores to make sure he got the message to shape up and get serious--again with the messages.
Jason has also gotten a few messages, but he was clearly anointed from the outset. He's got talent and charisma, but I also think he's gotten some extra breaks. Not complaining--everyone knows going in that's how the show works. Even if they lose, gracious and entertaining competitors can parlay their participation into a career boost.
Posted by: alex | April 30, 2008 3:16 PM
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I would like to see a side by side of the NFL theme dance, and Edyta's superman dance with whats-his-name last season. It seemed very similar (because they were both so noticable!)