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Riffs: Decoding John Mayer's YouTube apology

Richard Nixon had his “Checkers” speech. Hugh Grant had his “Tonight Show” Divine Brown apologia. And now, John Mayer has his Sommet Center speech, given onstage in Nashville on Wednesday night in an attempt to short circuit the “John Mayer is a caddish oaf who also hates black people” meme that has been making the rounds since his jaw-droppingly ill-advised interview with Playboy magazine.

For those reluctant to wade through the endless self-flagellation and questionable sci-fi metaphors, we’ve got the minute by minute breakdown, after the jump.

:16: “In my quest to be clever,” Mayer begins, and then starts talking about his constant persecution. This goes on for a while. Then, “I completely forgot about the people that I love.”

1:05: Mayer explains that this happened because he fell into a “wormhole of selfishness and greediness and arrogance.” Makes sense!

1:13: “[I was] thinking that if I could just be speedy and witty and pull together as many fast words and phrases, I could be clever enough to buy myself another day without thinking that anyone could pin me down and say, 'You’re a creep.'” He goes on to explain that this hasn’t worked out so well. People in the audience applaud, for some reason.

2:08: He’s exculpating his band mates, explaining that their presence onstage doesn’t mean they approve of his actions.

2:39: “Maybe I need to take a little break from trying to be clever.” He seems genuinely choked up. Seriously, this is painful.

3:06: “I’ve quit the media game. I’m out, I’m done.” He just wants to play his guitar. He goes on to actually play his guitar. The end.

What do you think? Are you still mad? Or are you starting to pity Mayer, who, for all his excessive references to his own cleverness increasingly seems like the dumbest smart guy, or the smartest dumb guy, who ever picked up a guitar? And most importantly, what does Jennifer Aniston see in him, when she could so obviously do better?

By Allison Stewart  |  February 12, 2010; 2:00 PM ET
Categories:  News  | Tags: John Mayer  
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This is a lame and incoherent apology that does not even begin to address the problems with this guy. Certainly he made racist comments, but he also revealed that he is more interested in isolating himself, obsessing on pornography and masturbating than having a real relationship with another human being. Yet these comments, which made up the bulk of the article, are not even being mentioned in the rush to discuss his racism. What kind of pass would you call that?

Posted by: mhjohnson1 | February 13, 2010 5:59 PM | Report abuse

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