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Taking sides: Does Rolling Stone really expect us to be excited about these 40 things?


You've got to be kidding us.

The latest issue of Rolling Stone magazine boasts quite a cover story: "40 Reasons to Get Excited About Music." Sounds cool, right? We dove in with eager eyeballs only to find 40 reasons to commit seppuku -- (or since we really like Jamey Johnson, MIA, Them Crooked Vultures, LCD Soundsystem and the Roots on "Fallon," 35.) Here's a smattering of other reasons to "get excited":

"No. 33: Because Sting's daughter is about to enter the family business." Yep.

"No. 24: Because Atlantic Records has entered the 21st century." Congratulations?

And the No. 1 reason to be excited about music: "The Black Eyed Peas."

In our weekly Taking sides post, Click Track's contributors pick the entry they found most soul-crushing. Read our rants after the jump and be sure to share your thoughts in the comments.

Allison Stewart: "No. 19: Pop Divas -- Because women rule the charts"

I think the thing that offends me most on this list -- and there's such a rich tapestry of things to choose from -- is No. 19: Pop Divas. It's a recap of the recent successes of Taylor Swift, Rihanna, Katy Perry, etc, and while it's less patronizing than it could have been, it still seems unnecessary. It would be one thing if there were a host of women leading metal bands or psych rock bands or something novel. But is the fact that there are people in the Billboard Top Ten with working uteruses really such a big deal? In 2010?

Sarah Godfrey: "No. 39: These missing-in-action albums might just come out" (Amy Winehouse, Dr. Dre, D'Angelo)

You know what else might happen in 2010 that would make for a great year in music? Lauryn Hill might start recording again. Jay-Z and R. Kelly might squash their beef and do another "Best of Both Worlds" tour. We might learn that 2Pac really has been living on some remote island for the last 14 years and he might resurface with a bunch of new material. But smart money says none of that is going to happen, and it also seems unlikely that Winehouse, Dre, or D'Angelo will actually deliver this year. Wasn't D'Angelo arrested and charged with solicitation just last month? Isn't Amy Winehouse back with Blake Fielder-Civil? Hasn't Dr. Dre been promising "Detox" forever? I know that the release of "Chinese Democracy" and "Only Built 4 Cuban Linx Pt. II" has convinced music fans that dreams sometimes really do come true, but I'd be willing to bet that this time next year we'll all still be waiting on these projects.

Chris Richards: "No. 37: Because the classic rock vaults are far from empty"

I'm a glass half full kind of guy, but why is Rolling Stone trying to get us excited about things we hate? Feeling overwhelmed by the never-ending barrage music festivals? RS says they "rule!" (No. 2). Hate the BEPs? RS says they're the best. And sorry, RS. You're not going to convince me that the best use of Dr. Dre's time is in headphone design (No. 25 and No. 26!) But my blood quietly boiled toward the end of the list as I read this cheery update: some of rock's most iconic figures (Dylan, the Boss, the Beatles, Neil Young) are sitting on oodles of unreleased recordings. This has always been a repugnant, greedy, craven practice -- record labels and artist estates hording the goods to ensure holiday stockings will be stuffed until the last boomer on Earth has died. Fans are supposed to be excited about that? They should be nauseated.

David Malitz: "No. 4: U2's Epic Stadium Tour Invades America Again"

Hooray! More bloated stadium rock with extra-bloated stage props. And as an added bonus there is "the possibility of songs from a new album that the band has been trying to put together." I guess Bono and Co. figure that if you're going to be so distracted by the Claw they may as well try out some new material. The Click Track team is much more excited for Paramore and its clawless show with tickets that run $21-$36.

By Chris Richards  |  April 22, 2010; 1:00 PM ET
Categories:  Taking sides  | Tags: Amy Winehouse, Black Eyed Peas, Bob Dylan, D'Angelo, Dr. Dre, Katy Perry, Neil Young, Rihanna, Taylor Swift, The Beatles, U2  
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Next: Patrick Stump talks solo debut, Fall Out Boy's future (or lack thereof)

Comments

Hey now, the current U2 tour is pretty awesome in person and far from the most bloated ticket out there. I think that dishonor actually goes to Niel Young from having the cheapest ticket for his current tour be 93 bucks plus service charges.

Posted by: EricS2 | April 22, 2010 1:44 PM | Report abuse

Fair enough, EricS2. And totally spot-on about Neil Young, his tickets are absurdly expensive and he will be playing lots of unreleased new stuff as well. Now Neil Young is obviously leagues better than U2, but he is a price gouger. And that doesn't even bring into account his Blu-Ray only box set, but Chris sort of hints at that in his response.

Posted by: DavidMalitz | April 22, 2010 2:03 PM | Report abuse

Chris, I usually find that they've been hoarding stuff that was never good enough for the initial release.

...and yes, it is greedy.

Posted by: MzFitz | April 22, 2010 2:53 PM | Report abuse

I largely agree with you, MzFitz. But I thought twice after that recent Jimi Hendrix album. There was some really great unheard stuff there. A friend of mine reminded me how tragic it is that there are plenty of Jimi Hendrix devotees out there who died before they had a chance to hear it. And that pattern will continue as the Hendrix estate continues to roll out the goods... slowly.

Posted by: ChrisRichards | April 22, 2010 3:28 PM | Report abuse

Serious question: who are the people who are reading Rolling Stone as an actual source of music news?

Posted by: agl132 | April 22, 2010 4:13 PM | Report abuse

Rolling Stone has been the MTV of music journalism since... well, a very long time.

The Click Trackers should fight back. I'd like to see your 40 Reasons to Get Excited About Music, somewhere in the Post (not just the blog). Should be a much better read than Jann Wenner's drivel.

Posted by: Miles_Standish_Proud | April 22, 2010 4:20 PM | Report abuse

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