Lists: The top five signs your band should not get back together
By Allison Stewart
Van Halen have gone through enough breakups and reunions to know that their latest incarnation probably will end in lawsuits/tears/rehab. But what if you're a famous musician who isn't in a cartoony '80s metal band? Or what if you're Screech, the lone "Saved By the Bell" reunion holdout? How will you know if getting the gang back together is the right thing to do?
We're here to help! We at Click Track have assembled a definitive guide:The Top Five Signs Your Band Should Not Get Back Together:
1. Your lead singer is dead.
A deceased frontperson is God's way of telling you that your band should break up. Forever. He could not have made this more clear.
Chief Offenders: The Doors, INXS
2. You wish your lead singer was dead
No matter how much you try to pretend you like each other with strained between-song banter, audiences know bad juju when they see it, Don Henley and Glenn Frey.
Chief Offenders: Soundgarden, the Eagles, the Spice Girls, Stone Temple Pilots, every Van Halen reunion ever.
(Reunion "don'ts" for the cool and the uncool, after the jump.)
3. Your "reunion" consists of one or two remaining band members reuniting with session musicians she/he has barely met.
As with many things, let Guns 'n' Roses serve as a cautionary tale.
Chief Offenders: Hole, Smashing Pumpkins, Fleetwood Mac, the Lemonheads, the Supremes
4. You used to be cool
Reunions are cred killers. Bands who were primarily known for their awesomeness may find themselves financially richer, but with their legacies diminished. This is why the Replacements never got back together. And also, they probably haven't gotten around to it yet.
Chief Offenders: Pavement, the Pixies, Sex Pistols, the Velvet Underground, the Stooges
5. You were never cool
The only thing worse than the cool band everyone wants to see reunited is the hapless and awful band no one wants to see reunited, but who gets back together anyway.
Chief Offenders: Creed, Limp Bizkit, Genesis with Phil Collins
August 11, 2010; 11:45 AM ET
Categories: Lists | Tags: David Lee Roth, Fleetwood Mac, Guns N Roses, INXS, Pavement, Smashing Pumpkins, Soundgarden, Spice Girls, Stone Temple Pilots, The Doors, The Eagles, Van Halen
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