Dance puppets, dance!

Jim Zorn demonstrating the west coast version of "Blue Steel".

Oooooooo, be very scared, I have a sweet lanyard!

Jazz Fingers!!!

Why does this blog exist? I seriously don't understand. I have absolutely nothing against Lindsay Applebaum, in fact, I honestly envy her for having the opportunity to write about such fun sports-related topics as these, but seriously, there is virtually zero content or point to this drivel. Dan Steinberg writes a similar "about sports but not really about sports" blog on this paper's web site and there is always a tremendous amount of content and flesh to the posts. Every time I click on a new entry in "Crowd Noise" there are maybe three sentences of text followed by either a bunch of random links or a variety of ho hum quotes. I don't blame Lindsay for taking on this project, like I said, it looks like great fun, but this is hardly a worthwhile endeavor for the Post.com to continue in my humble opinion (and certainly that's all that it is).

And the piano, it sounds like a carnival
And the microphone smells like a beer
And they sit at the bar and put bread in my jar
And say, man, what are you doin here?

Hey, "Why???":

"Why???" you gotta blow up my spot like that?

In all seriousness, Crowd Noise is nothing like the D.C. Sports Bog, nor is it intended to be.

Crowd Noise is intended to be a fun way to continue the discussions of various sports topics and highlight what readers are saying. If readers are commenting on "sports but not really about sports," then that's what I'll post about.

I'm sorry you don't like the blog, but I genuinely appreciate your feedback. If you have any other suggestions or questions, you can email me at crowdnoise at wpni dot com or lindsay dot applebaum at wpni dot com.

I'm not here for fluff, I'm here to teach...

Lindsay,

HUGE props for responding directly to my self-righteous little opinion piece. As far as I'm concerned, the more quality sports blogs on Post.com, the better (trust me, I rely strongly on them to get me through my work day ;-)), but if you're truly interested in my straight up advice, then here it is:

If there is any way to present some of this stuff with a little more meat, or perhaps with a paragraph or two of content sometimes (USA Today style haha) as opposed to just a couple of intro lines, that would make a world of difference for me between feeling like I'm reading through a rough draft of somebody's op-ed, and an actual coherent blog. It's sometimes difficult to care about the subject matter being presented when it feels like it's barely being introduced before a flurry of quotes; contests and video clips start being thrown your way.

Like I said up top though, I'm honestly envious of you, so keep at it--and clearly mine is but only one opinion.

"Please sit back and enjoy as I start doing the twist for no reason"

"Ya Fired" (ala Donald Trump)

"Word to ya mutha"

(Thats all for now)

Keep it down guys here comes sonny

"You got the Red over here, and the black over here..."

Eeewwwhhh. Like The Danny and Vinny really scare me.

^cuz she's cute.

cute lady sportswriters, like sideline reporters, always have work.

sorry i'm such a pig, but hey, i'm bein' honest here

Jason,this is your new throwing stance while in the pocket.....Cool huh?

Crouching Owner, Hidden Coach

"yall aint never seen a dopeboy play the piano at the same time have ya"

-T.I. - "Breathe Easy"

**"...and rap at the same time..."**

i always screw up when i'm trying to be funny. even when i know nobody else will get it

sorry my nails are still wet

I'm telling you that chipmunk was this big

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late
It's too late to apologize, yeah
I said it's too late to apologize, yeah-
I'm holdin on your rope, got me ten feet off the ground...

...be still...be still as the stone by the door.

I am the great.."Zorn-holio" and I need TP for my "End-Zoneo"...

"i can't feel my hands"

"I saw these Philippine prisoners on YouTube exercising to 'Thriller,' and so I thought it might be a good icebreaker with the guys during spring training..."

Ballboys under this high are barred from Redskins Park when the Pope is here...

We need taller receivers. Right now our receivers are about this tall. El and Moss are good but they are only this tall.

I think I will paint my nails-maroon and yellow the redskins color's right??? Am I right?? I took this gig for the colors!!

Former executive editor Ben Bradlee was right: Today's Washington Post employs too many god**mn writers.

Cut the dead weight, please.

"In a press conference announcing the construction of a new, retractable roof stadium on the site of RFK, Redskins coach Jim Zorn demonstrates the height of special urinals to be installed in the owner's suite."

"In a press conference announcing the construction of a new, retractable roof stadium on the site of RFK, Redskins coach Jim Zorn demonstrates the height of special urinals to be installed in the owner's suite."

"lindsay applebaum is only this tall with heels on"

"WHO DARE CHALLENGES THE SLAP GAME CHAMPION!!!!"

J.Z. spinnin' on the ones and twos...

Look, there's a new game in town...with Redskin at-etude.

Challenging the press corps to "name that tune", Jim Zorn emphatically repeats the second note of the theme music for all Snyder-era Redskins head coaches, "Mission: Impossible".

So, burgundy is the dominate color?

Danny pulls the strings on his new puppet

"I've got two turn tables and a microphone"

Why make a trillion when we could make... billions?

Caption: The strings come off of Dan's hands like this. He's not very good though.

Look I can count to 10 on my fingers. Another reason why the Redskins will continue to stink

..."We told Rabach that he needs to get his butt this high off the ground to avoid fumbling the hike. He doesn't like it very much...."

"Wait - I thought this was a new dance? Clinton Portis told me that the Macarena just came out last week!"

"Take it easy there Mr. Journalist....the maroon and black will return to the promise land"

Reporter: "Coach Zorn, why did you decided to coach football?"

Zorn: "Cuz, maaaan. It's, like, so groovy maaaaan. You know, the way the game flows, it's like layin' on a beach and watchin' the sun set. It's groovy maaan, so groovy."

This is Jim Zorn bowing in the presence of my greatness.

"Ya got Danny Boy over here and Vinnie on the other side. They're both idiots! Why didn't anyone tell me?"

"DUDE, the new offense is like way cool. Imagine ridin' a narly wave and... "

So our new offensive strategy will start with the entire offensive line before lining up will all look at the defense and go "Wooga Wooga Wooga."

"Why the Redskins will win the NFC East: because T.O.'s hands do this when he tries to catch the ball!"

Coach Zorn says, "Coach Gibbs did show the linen closet in his office and it has a stack of pillows and sheets this tall!"

so I was with my wife and I was hitting it from behind........

Pull my finger, any finger!

Jim Zorn demonstrates his prize-winning Air Piano technique

I second Pulse's:

"In a press conference announcing the construction of a new, retractable roof stadium on the site of RFK, Redskins coach Jim Zorn demonstrates the height of special urinals to be installed in the owner's suite."

Check out this cool maroon and black shirt!

"A parking meter is about this tall, and Danny-Boy is about this tall, so the difference is.....Oh, never mind!"

A parking meter is about this tall, and Danny-Boy is about this tall, so the difference is.....Oh, never mind

Do you think I should go with the Maroon or Black nail polish?