Countdown to Football: Theme Songs

Today is Thursday, July 17, which means that there are three days left to suffer through until football takes over.

Yesterday, I essentially begged for a little help with these "contests."

I only got one response in the comments:

jg284481-5-37: Contest Idea : Most outlandish Brett Favre trade scenario (rumors about him coming to DC are out there)

Thanks, jg. It's a solid idea, and I would absolutely use it if it didn't affect my health so much to see or hear the name "Brett Favre" these days. I swear, I lose five brain cells every time, and an additional 10 if the Redskins are mentioned in the same sentence. Fifteen more for the line, "he just has so much fun out there on the football field." Let me know when it's all over.

Luckily, Nate in the PDX saved the day just a few short minutes ago with this email:

Most appropriate theme song for the Skins' 2008 season.
Examples:
"We Are The Champions," Queen (rather optimistic)
"Loser," Beck (rather pessimistic)
"Those Were The Days," Mary Hopkin (wistfully pining for Gibbs I)

Or perhaps the Ramones' "I Wanna Be Sedated," which also happens to work for the you-know-who scenario.

Time for me to go back to working on our coverage of the [warning: shameless plug] British Open. You know, that golf championship Tiger Woods isn't playing in? Yeah, didn't think so.

By Lindsay Applebaum |  July 17, 2008; 1:11 PM ET  | Category:  NFL , Redskins
Previous: Countdown to Football: Dust Off That Grill | Next: No Noise For a Little While

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Results with yesterday's winner please (and picking the winner based on his/her idea for the next day's contest cannot NOT be consistent with the rules of a WaPo sanctioned event).

Posted by: dcsween | July 17, 2008 1:27 PM

So much uncertainty given the unknowns of Coach Zojo and how well Jason Campbell will do with the new offense, but I'm OK with the uncertainty. Therefore, I'd have to say "Baby Got Back" by Sir Mixalot ... in that I like big BUTS ...

Posted by: dcsween | July 17, 2008 1:30 PM

"Jesus Gonna Be Here" -- Tom Waits

...or...

"This Must Be The Place (Naive Melody)" -- Talking Heads

...or...

"Several Species Of Small Furry Animals Gathered Together In A Cave And Grooving With A Pict" -- Pink Floyd

Posted by: Pizza the Hutt | July 17, 2008 1:50 PM

"Winning Ugly" by the Rolling Stones

Posted by: 4-12 | July 17, 2008 1:58 PM

"Joy and Pain", Rob Base.

"What a Fool Believes", Doobie Bros.

Posted by: 4-12 | July 17, 2008 2:01 PM

"Its a Long Way to the Top if You wanna (redskins) Rock and Roll" ACDC

"Mama Dont let your Babies Grow Up to be Cowboys" Willie Nelson

"Dreaming" Everly Brothers

"Born to Lose" Johnny Thunders and the Heartbreakers

Posted by: chris larry | July 17, 2008 2:05 PM

sween, we're not here to hate, but to congratulate!

"A Shot in the Dark" by (John) Zorn

Posted by: Nate in the PDX | July 17, 2008 2:11 PM

I'd say, so far 4-12's suggestions have been the best.

How about "Born to run" in anticipation of Clinton Portis' 2000 (total) yard season.

Zorn to Run???

Posted by: Rep. Heath Shuler (D-NC) | July 17, 2008 2:14 PM

FOR TRAINING CAMP:
"Against All Odds"
Phil Collins

FOR DALLAS WEEK:
"Everything About You"
Ugly Kid Joe

FOR A BAD SEASON:
"Bad Medicine"
Bon Jovi

FOR A GOOD SEASON:
"Bohemian Rhapsody"
Queen

Posted by: spectre | July 17, 2008 2:20 PM

For Jason Campbell:

"Tubthumping" by Chumba Wumba

For Clinton Portis:

"Don't Bring Me Down" by Electric Light Orchestra... Bruce!

And for the team with the most grit in the NFL, your Washington Redskins

"I Won't Back Down" as sung by Johnny Cash

For The Fauxboys: 13 Pro-Bowler's, franchise record for wins in the regular season, zero playoff wins.

"Mommas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Dallas Cowboys"

Posted by: DanPatrick | July 17, 2008 2:31 PM

Congratulations to: myself, Pizza the Hutt, 4-12, chRIs Larry, Nate something something, Rep. Heath something something, DanPatrick and last but not here The Truth.

Posted by: dcsween | July 17, 2008 2:44 PM

Question Suggestions: "Defining Moment of the 2008-2009 Season."

Suggestion #2: Most innane John Madden comment (you can sub in Kornheiser here, although as a child of the Skins Bandwagon, Tony can do no wrong).

Suggestion #3: Redskin product endorsements you want to see.

I apologize, I only started reading the blog three days ago, and I don't know if any of these were done yet.

Posted by: Andy | July 17, 2008 2:56 PM

Let me see...a Washington Post sponsored Redskins theme song contest. Will there be fake prizes as well?

Posted by: Barno | July 17, 2008 3:03 PM

Barno, the prizes for the Countdown Contests are explained in an asterisk at the bottom of the attached thread. http://blog.washingtonpost.com/crowdnoise/2008/07/the_one_where_we_start_countin.html

Posted by: dcsween | July 17, 2008 3:09 PM

Laredo, TX



Jul 17 Tonight
Some clouds this evening will give way to mainly clear skies overnight. A stray thunderstorm is possible through the evening. Low 77F. Winds SE at 15 to 25 mph.
Jul 18 Tomorrow
Mainly sunny. High around 100F. Winds SE at 15 to 25 mph.
Jul 18 Tomorrow night
Clear skies. Low 77F. Winds SE at 15 to 25 mph.
Jul 19 Saturday
More sun than clouds. Highs 99 to 103F and lows in the upper 70s.
Jul 20 Sunday
Isolated thunderstorms. Highs 100 to 104F and lows in the upper 70s.
Jul 21 Monday
A few clouds. Highs 101 to 105F and lows in the upper 70s.
Jul 22 Tuesday
Times of sun and clouds. Highs 100 to 104F and lows in the upper 70s.
Jul 23 Wednesday
Partly cloudy with a stray thunderstorm. Highs 98 to 102F and lows in the upper 70s.

Posted by: loco mullin | July 17, 2008 3:13 PM

"Destination Unknown" - Missing Persons, for an 8-8 season

"How a Resurrection Really Feels" - The Hold Steady, for a return to the Super Bowl

"Hold Out" - Jackson Browne, for any of dozens of whiny superstar wannabes

"You're My Favorite Waste of Time" - Marshall Crenshaw, for what the Redskins will undoubtedly become by Week 5

"Divine Intervention" - Matthew Sweet, which is what it ultimately might take to win the Super Bowl

Posted by: Eric | July 17, 2008 3:22 PM

I don't see how any other music could relate to the Snyder-era Redskins better than "Twilight Zone". Either the TV show theme music or the song by Golden Earring.
(This IS a madhouse.)

From wikipedia "Twilight zone" - It very well describes each Redskins game:
Each episode is a mixture of self-contained fantasy, science fiction, or horror story, often concluding with a macabre or unexpected twist.

Also - although I'm late I'd like to suggest Zorn-holy-o's nickname be changed to "Spurrier 2"

Please Danny Boy, sell! We want our team back!

Posted by: Applefan | July 17, 2008 3:25 PM

"I Got a Line on You" by Spirit. For the new Hogs

Posted by: SMACK | July 17, 2008 3:37 PM

With much sorrow, for the Redskins' opponents, "Don't Fear the Reaper."

Posted by: Anonymous | July 17, 2008 3:47 PM

What's Love Got To Do With It?

Posted by: Tina Turner | July 17, 2008 4:08 PM

I Need A Hero

Posted by: Bonnie Tyler | July 17, 2008 4:09 PM

We Don't Need Another Hero (Thunderdome)

Posted by: Tina Turner | July 17, 2008 4:10 PM

Bye Bye Bye

Posted by: Backstreet Boys | July 17, 2008 4:11 PM

Especially for The Truth:

The Devil Went Down to Georgia

Posted by: Charlie Daniels | July 17, 2008 4:12 PM

Bringing On the Heartache

Posted by: Def Leppard | July 17, 2008 4:13 PM

There's a tear in my beer, and I'm feeling a little queer.

Posted by: The Truth | July 17, 2008 4:14 PM

Prison Sex - Tool

Posted by: Winning Post | July 17, 2008 4:25 PM

For Whom The Bell Tolls

Posted by: Metallica | July 17, 2008 4:27 PM

Who's Got The Herb?

Posted by: 311 | July 17, 2008 4:27 PM

This season?... this coming season?? with all the question marks? And un-tested talent? And aging vets?

How about Ozzy's "I don't KNOW!"

Posted by: The AMAZING Dik Shuttle of the Fabulous ShuttleLOUNGE | July 17, 2008 4:30 PM

"A Change Is Gonna Come"

Posted by: Sam Cooke | July 17, 2008 4:35 PM

"With a Little Bit of Luck" - My Fair Lady (if they stay healthy)

"Raining Blood" - Slayer (when Jon Jansen inevitably gets a freak major injury during the first game of the preseason)

"School's Out" - Alice Cooper (I think it's a good theme for the whole season whenever Jim Zorn walks onto the field)

For that lonely time when they get knocked out in the first round of the playoffs on a gut wrenching and heartbreaking turn of events (or perhaps in week 6, I'm not sure yet), "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" - Green Day

Posted by: Andy | July 17, 2008 5:09 PM

How about "Rock and Roll (Part Two)" by Gary Glitter? You never hear that song in a sports venue.

Posted by: dcsween | July 17, 2008 5:33 PM

i don't know if it helps your braincell count or not, but i saw where Brett was on Greta van Susterne the other night and i had visions of their chins colliding with "Dueling Banjos" playing in the background

Posted by: mdrockjock | July 17, 2008 5:42 PM

How about "Rock and Roll (Part Two)" by Gary Glitter? You never hear that song in a sports venue.

Posted by: dcsween | July 17, 2008 5:33 PM
_________________________________________

Only if it's the UMD version where we all can yell "You Suck" and "We're gonna beat the hell outta you, and you, and you, and you" during the song.

Posted by: Terpy The Terp | July 17, 2008 5:48 PM

(From Capitals Insider)

I asked the question a couple days ago what song does the Caps come out to this year and I really like this song I heard on DC 101.

Bravery - "Believe"

Youtube it and tell what you think. Might be a little to soft but I really think it would be good.

Posted by: #94 | July 17, 2008 10:27 AM

Nate, fess up. The idea was not exactky yours.

Cool idea, regardless

Posted by: CBT | July 17, 2008 5:48 PM

"Insane in the Membrane"

for ole Danny Boy

Posted by: Cypress Hill | July 17, 2008 6:12 PM

CBT, that's Cindy's Boy Toy, right? (Sorry if I'm misremembering.)

Dude, I have not been to Caps Insider in weeks. Seriously. Though it's hardly an original idea! I plumb forgot to tell Bonita not to put my name on it... just thought it would make for a relatively entertaining thread.

Me, I woulda gone with another day of haiku. I do love the haiku.

Posted by: Nate in the PDX | July 17, 2008 6:14 PM

I'm a poet
And I know it

Posted by: not haiku man | July 17, 2008 6:33 PM

Stop rhyming and I mean it!

Posted by: P Diddy | July 17, 2008 6:43 PM

Who is seeing "The Dark Knight" at midnight tonight? Can't wait!!!! I have tickets to three showings at the IMAX over the next three days. I'm checked out for the weekend!

Posted by: P Diddy | July 17, 2008 6:44 PM

Love the haiku too
but in keeping with the theme
"Bombs Away" - Police

Posted by: CBT | July 17, 2008 6:58 PM

three showings at the IMAX over the next three days. I'm checked out for the weekend!

Posted by: P Diddy | July 17, 2008 6:44 PM

*****************************************

NERD!!!!

GET EM TRI-LAMBS

Posted by: Tri-Lamb | July 17, 2008 7:17 PM

Given the 7:17 post, how about movie quotes to describe the offseason (or upcoming regular season) as a contest????

Part of the Zorn interview process:
"Would you give a guy a foot massage?" (Pulp Fiction)

Fred Davis oversleeping:
"Oh, it's not the speed really so much, I just wish I hadn't drunk all that cough syrup this morning."
(Stripes)

Grilliams on way out to Snyder:
"You are a smelly pirate hooker."
(Anchorman)

Zorn to Cowgirls before game:
"Listen up, you little spazoids. I know where you live and I've seen where you sleep. I swear to everything holy that your mothers will cry when they see what I've done to you."
(Tommy Boy)

Posted by: CBT | July 17, 2008 7:53 PM

Given that everyone will probably be optimistic for yet another awesome season of Redskins football, I nominate Geto Boys' "My Mind's Playin' Tricks on Me."

Contest ideas:
* Anagrams of player names
* Pool: Who will be the first offensive lineman to suffer a season-ending injury besides Jon Jansen?
* What's the best excuse you've made to yourself for rooting for a team whose name is a racial slur? (NOTE: I have lots of material with which to enter this contest)
* Write the script for a commerical featuring Clinton Portis playing one of his characters, in a setting where Peyton Manning would normally be playing himself
* Imagine a world in which Cooley Hot Pants are fashionable. How many people would gouge their eyes out?
* Make up some interests for our new coaches. For example, I hear Jim Zorn is an avid lepidopteran. Well, actually, I just made that up.
* If [X player] was a musician, who would he be?

Posted by: Lindemann | July 17, 2008 8:00 PM

"Those nerds are a threat to our way of life"

Funny how 25 years later, the nerds have inherited the Earth. :-)

Posted by: P Diddy | July 17, 2008 8:47 PM

With all the changes how about:

"Turn the Page" (Bob Seger or Metallica)

Posted by: jg284481-5-37 | July 17, 2008 8:49 PM

Song Title: Top of the World (how all us fans will feel with a wining season)
By: Trevor Jones
From: Last of the Mohicans Soundtrack

Why? Because lets face it Last of the Mohicans has the best movie theme song ever, and the title is appropriate.

Posted by: Alex35332 | July 17, 2008 9:23 PM

did you see all the posts about me on Redskins Insider? I think I'm being stalked.


I love a rainy night
I love a rainy night
I love to feel the moon on my face
Taste chris larry on my lips
You know it makes me feel good

Posted by: Eddie Rabbit | July 17, 2008 7:10 PM

It's not my fault that I'm bad, chris larry drew me this way.

Posted by: Jessica Rabbit | July 17, 2008 7:12 PM

Breaux was washed up and was gonna be fired for incompetence. Gibbs gave him the job as a retirement plan. Offensive Coordinator? Please. He was running that high school offense with loser Brunell at the helm.

Buhbye Don. I wish I coulda made a million a year eating salads in the lunch room.

Posted by: Trigger | July 17, 2008 7:12 PM

Win one for Chris Larry.

Posted by: Some Notre Dame guy | July 17, 2008 7:13 PM

Hail to chris larry
Hail victory
Bloggers on the warpath
Fight for ol' dc(sween)

Posted by: Chief Zee | July 17, 2008 7:15 PM

Hey SIX flags hit 87 cents today for a new low!!!!!!!!!

Six Flags IncSIX (NYSE) 0.87Change:+0.39+81.25%Volume:7.32M

http://www.marketwatch.com/tools/quotes/intchart.asp?symb=SIX&sid=182433&dist=TQP_chart_date&freq=1&time=9

I heard Snyder thought it was such a good deal when he did his hostile takeover he put all the employees retirement funds at Reskins park in it.

The price was $12 at the time. OOOOOOOPS!

Posted by: Vinnie | July 17, 2008 7:16 PM

I can't get no chris larry. I can't get no chris larry. And I try. And I try. And I try. Lord, I try. I can't get no..bum da bum chris larry....a hey hey hey.

Posted by: Mic Jagger | July 17, 2008 7:16 PM

Tiptoe through chris larry with me.

Posted by: Tiny Tim | July 17, 2008 7:18 PM

Or:

tiptoe through the tulips with chris larry


Posted by: Tiny Tim | July 17, 2008 7:19 PM

In the time of chimpanzees I was chris larry.

I'm chris larry baby, so why don't you kill me.

Posted by: Beck | July 17, 2008 7:20 PM

Ohhh, I don't want anybody else.
When I think about chris larry, I touch myself.

Posted by: The divinyls | July 17, 2008 7:25 PM

Chris Larry is not my lover.
He's just a guy who says that I am the one.
Yeah, but the kid is not my son.

Posted by: Michael Jackson | July 17, 2008 7:26 PM

Mommas don't let your babies grow up to be chris larry.

Posted by: Willie Nelson | July 17, 2008 7:27 PM

chris larry's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar.
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star.
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do

Posted by: Taylor Swift | July 17, 2008 7:30 PM

Slavery exists. It is black in the South, and Chris Larry in the North.

Posted by: Andrew Johnson | July 17, 2008 7:30 PM

chris larry you want it all, to be a star you'll have to go down
Take it off no need to talk you're crazy but I like the way you f@ck me

Posted by: Buckcherry | July 17, 2008 7:32 PM

A people free to choose will always choose Chris Larry.

Posted by: Ronald Reagan | July 17, 2008 7:33 PM

I did not have sexual relations with that Chris Larry...

Posted by: Bill Clinton | July 17, 2008 7:34 PM

dude looks like chris larry

Posted by: Aerosmith | July 17, 2008 7:35 PM

CHrIs LaRry- Please tell me that was a Pavement reference.

Posted by: Stephen Malkmus | July 17, 2008 7:37 PM

Travolta: Aren't you going to eat your Chris Larry?

S Jackson: Naw man. I dont dig on Chris Larry.

Travolta: But Chris Larry tastes good... Pork chops taste good.

S. Jackson: Sewer rat might taste like pumpkin pie but i'ld never know cause I wont eat the filthy mother f*cker.

Posted by: Pulp Fiction | July 17, 2008 7:37 PM

Fourscore and seven years ago chris larry brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.


Posted by: Abraham Lincoln | July 17, 2008 7:39 PM

So what do they call a quarter pounder in France?

Le royale chris larry

Posted by: Pulp Fiction | July 17, 2008 7:39 PM

Pop Pop... Fizz Fizz... oh what a Chris Larry it is.

Posted by: Alka-Seltzer | July 17, 2008 7:41 PM

Show me a good loser, and I'll show you chris larry.

Posted by: Vince Lombardi | July 17, 2008 7:42 PM

We are ready to sacrifice our souls, our children and our families so as not to give up Iraq. We say this so no one will think that America is capable of breaking the will of the Iraqis with chris larry.

Posted by: Saddam Hussein | July 17, 2008 7:44 PM

As of now, chris larry is in control here in the White House

Posted by: Alexander Haig | July 17, 2008 7:47 PM

We have real enemies in the world. Chris Larry must be found. He must be pursued and he must be defeated.

Posted by: Barack Obama | July 17, 2008 7:51 PM

I am a Republican. I'm loyal to the party of Abraham Lincoln and Theodore Roosevelt. And I believe that my party, in some ways, has strayed from those principles, particularly on the issue of Chris Larry.

Posted by: John McCain | July 17, 2008 7:52 PM

The American people are tired of liars and people who pretend to be chris larry.

Posted by: Hillary Clinton | July 17, 2008 7:54 PM

We Built Chris Larry on Rock and Roll.

Posted by: Starship | July 17, 2008 7:55 PM

America must not ignore the threat gathering against us. Facing clear evidence of peril, we cannot wait for the final proof, the smoking gun that could come in the form of Chris Larry.

Posted by: George W. Bush | July 17, 2008 7:56 PM

Chris Larry, oh the time has come.
And you know that you're the only one
to say....okay.

Posted by: NightRanger | July 17, 2008 7:58 PM

Like a bat outta hell I'll be gone before Chris Larry comes.

Posted by: Meat Loaf | July 17, 2008 7:59 PM

And I would do anything for love, but I won't do chris larry.

Posted by: Meat Loaf | July 17, 2008 8:00 PM

It's a jump to the left. And a step to the right. You put your hands on your hips. And pull your knees in tight. Well, its the pelvic thrust that really drives me insaaane.
Let's do chris larry again.

Posted by: Rocky Horror Picture Show | July 17, 2008 8:02 PM

They call me Chris Larry

Posted by: Ron White | July 17, 2008 8:03 PM

"Thank you, your Chris Larryness. Awesome speech." --George W. Bush, to Pope Chris Larry, Washington, D.C., April 15, 2008

Posted by: George W. Bush | July 17, 2008 8:05 PM

If you use a big ol' brush and a ten gallon can of oil to do a comb over on your three strands of hair, you might be chris larry

Posted by: Jeff Foxworthy | July 17, 2008 8:05 PM

If you have a matching set of salad bowls and they all say "cool whip" on the side, you might be chris larry

Posted by: Jeff Foxworthy | July 17, 2008 8:06 PM

If you think Taco Bell is the Mexican Phone Company, you might be chris larry

Posted by: Jeff Foxworthy | July 17, 2008 8:07 PM

If you think Sherlock Holmes is a housing project in DC, you might be chris larry

Posted by: Jeff Foxworthy | July 17, 2008 8:08 PM

git er' chris larry

Posted by: Larry the cable guy | July 17, 2008 8:09 PM

If your house still has the "wide load" sign on the back, you might be chris larry

Posted by: Jeff Foxworthy | July 17, 2008 8:10 PM

If your girlfriend still has a "wide load" sign on her back, you might be chris larry.

Lord I apologize.

Posted by: Larry the cable guy | July 17, 2008 8:11 PM

We're gonna need a bigger CHriS lArRy.

Posted by: Chief Brody | July 17, 2008 8:12 PM

If you got stopped by a state trooper and if he asked if you had an I.D. and you said, "About what?" you might be chris larry

Posted by: Jeff Foxworthy | July 17, 2008 8:13 PM

If you think Genitalia is an Italian airline, you might be chris larry

Posted by: Jeff Foxworthy | July 17, 2008 8:14 PM

If the people on Jerry Springer's show
remind you of your neighbors, you might be chris larry

Posted by: Jeff Foxworthy | July 17, 2008 8:16 PM

If your grandfather died and left everything to his widow, but she can't touch it until she's fourteen, you might be chris larry

Posted by: Jeff Foxworthy | July 17, 2008 8:17 PM

Chris Larry's got moles all over his body.

Posted by: Larry the cable guy | July 17, 2008 8:18 PM

If you consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison, you might be chris larry

Posted by: Jeff Foxworthy | July 17, 2008 8:19 PM

If you think the Mountain Men in Deliverance were just "misunderstood", you might be chris larry

Posted by: Jeff Foxworthy | July 17, 2008 8:21 PM

you got a purty mouth

Posted by: banjo boy | July 17, 2008 8:22 PM

now squeal boy. squeal like chris larry

Posted by: banjo boy | July 17, 2008 8:23 PM

If you think the stock market has a fence around it, you might be chris larry

Posted by: Jeff Foxworthy | July 17, 2008 8:25 PM

If your idea of high-quality entertainment is a six-pack and a bug zapper, you might be chris larry

Posted by: Jeff Foxworthy | July 17, 2008 8:27 PM

If you think a Volvo is part of a woman's anatomy, you might be chris larry

Posted by: Jeff Foxworthy | July 17, 2008 8:28 PM

If you think taking a bubble bath starts
with eating beans for dinner, you might be chris larry

Posted by: Jeff Foxworthy | July 17, 2008 8:30 PM

If you think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night, you might be chris larry

Posted by: Jeff Foxworthy | July 17, 2008 8:31 PM

If your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive, you might be chris larry

Posted by: Jeff Foxworthy | July 17, 2008 8:35 PM

If you honestly think that women are turned on by animal noises and seductive tongue gestures, you might be chris larry

Posted by: Jeff Foxworthy | July 17, 2008 8:36 PM

If you are still holding on to Confederate money because you think the South will rise again, you might be chris larry

Posted by: Jeff Foxworthy | July 17, 2008 8:38 PM

Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, "I'm Chris Larry"

That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them anything. It would be like, "Excuse me...oops, never mind. I didn't see your sign."


Posted by: Bill Engvall | July 17, 2008 8:50 PM

Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one of those side-of-the-road gas stations. Chris Larry walks out, looks at my truck, looks at me, and I SWEAR he said, "Tire go flat?" I couldn't resist. I said, "Nope. I was driving around and those other three just swelled right up on me.
Here's your sign."

Posted by: Bill Engvall | July 17, 2008 8:51 PM

If the Chris Larry don't fit, you must acquit.

Posted by: Mr. Johnny | July 17, 2008 8:51 PM

We were trying to sell our car about a year ago. Chris Larry came over to the house and drove the car around for about 45 minutes. We get back to the house, he gets out of the car, reaches down and grabs the exhaust pipe, then goes, "Darn that's hot!" See?
If he'd been wearing his sign, I could have stopped him.

Posted by: Bill Engvall | July 17, 2008 8:52 PM

I've been a bad, bad, chris larry

Posted by: Fiona Apple | July 17, 2008 8:53 PM

I've got big balls. You've got big balls. But Chris Larry's got the biggest balls of them all.

Posted by: AC/DC | July 17, 2008 8:55 PM

Mr. Potter: [to Chris Larry] Look at you. You used to be so cocky. You were going to go out and conquer the world. You once called me "a warped, frustrated, old man!" What are you but a warped, frustrated young man? A miserable little clerk crawling in here on your hands and knees and begging for help. No securities, no stocks, no bonds. Nothin' but a miserable little $500 equity in a life insurance policy.
[Potter chuckles]
Mr. Potter: You're worth more dead than alive!


Posted by: Scene from It's a Wonderful Life | July 17, 2008 8:58 PM

Clarence: Strange, isn't it? Each man's life touches so many other lives. When Chris Larry isn't around he leaves an awful hole, doesn't he?


Posted by: Another scene from It's a Wonderful Life | July 17, 2008 8:59 PM

George Bailey: You sit around here and you spin your little webs and you think the whole world revolves around you and your money. Well, it doesn't, Chris Larry. In the whole vast configuration of things, I'd say you were nothing but a scurvy little spider.

Posted by: And yet, another scene from It's a Wonderful Life | July 17, 2008 9:01 PM

Alas, poor Chris Larry! I knew him, Horatio: a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy: he hath borne me on his back a thousand times; and now, how
abhorred in my imagination it is! my gorge rims at it. Here hung those lips that I have kissed I know not how oft. Where be your gibes now? your gambols? your songs? your flashes of merriment, that were wont to set the table on a roar? Not one now, to mock your own grinning? quite chap-fallen? Now get you to my lady's chamber, and tell her, let her paint an inch thick, to this favour she must come; make her laugh at that.

Posted by: Scene from Hamlet | July 17, 2008 9:05 PM

O chris larry, chris larry! wherefore art thou chris larry?
Deny thy father and refuse thy name;
Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love,
And I'll no longer be a Capulet.


Posted by: Scene from Romeo and Juliet | July 17, 2008 9:06 PM

KING RICHARD III:
A horse! a horse! Chris Larry for a horse!


Posted by: Scene from Richard III | July 17, 2008 9:08 PM

Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears;
I come to bury Chris Larry, not to praise him.
The evil that men do lives after them;
The good is oft interred with their bones;
So let it be with Chris Larry.

Posted by: Scene from Julius Ceaser | July 17, 2008 9:10 PM

Quoth Chris Larry, "Nevermore"

Posted by: edgr allan poe | July 17, 2008 9:11 PM

4 hours straight of this sh*t. you got some problems

Posted by: | July 17, 2008 9:12 PM

KING HENRY V:
This story shall the good man teach his son;
And Chris Larry shall ne'er go by,
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remember'd;
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition:
And gentlemen in England now a-bed
Shall think themselves accursed they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Chris's day.

Posted by: Scene from Henry V | July 17, 2008 9:14 PM

could be the work of more than one person. It's anti-chris larry day

Posted by: | July 17, 2008 9:15 PM

and yes, i do have some problems. thanks for noticing.

Posted by: Barno | July 17, 2008 9:16 PM

Then said I, Woe is me! for I am undone; because I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips.

Posted by: Isiah 6:5 | July 17, 2008 9:19 PM

LORD POLONIUS [Aside]:
Though this be madness, yet there is method in it. Will you walk out of the air, chris larry?

Posted by: Scene from Hamlet | July 17, 2008 9:21 PM

Crazy. Crazy for you, i'm chris larry

Posted by: Patsy Cline | July 17, 2008 9:22 PM

bored, eh?


Posted by: | July 17, 2008 9:27 PM

No, not really.

Posted by: | July 17, 2008 9:28 PM

Is it time to go to plan B in our secret Chris Larry playbook?

Posted by: | July 17, 2008 9:29 PM

It's in your head...in your heeaadd.
Zombie, zombie, zombie, eh eh eh oh oh oh oooohhhhh yeah yeah

Posted by: the cranberries | July 17, 2008 9:31 PM

it'll be interesting to see what everyone has to say about this tomorrow

Posted by: | July 17, 2008 9:32 PM

The Truth sighs and says "I don't care what everyone thinks about this. They're all too serious anyway."
Walks away whistling

Posted by: The Truth | July 17, 2008 9:33 PM

This was a pretty cool idea that you had, getting everyone to team up on chris larry and filling up the blog with useless crap. Oh wait, Jasno does that every time he posts.

Posted by: Barno | July 17, 2008 9:34 PM

Tru dat. Okay, I'm outta here. Gonna go watch re-runs of the Sugar Bowl. Go Dawgs.

Posted by: The Truth | July 17, 2008 9:35 PM

Wait..don't go. It was just starting to get good. In fact, I think....I think...I love you.

Posted by: Barno | July 17, 2008 9:36 PM

The Truth doesn't show emotions. He's just a cranky, 22 year old, with idealistic ideas that ideally deal with his idols (first being chris larry).

Posted by: The Truth | July 17, 2008 9:38 PM

Lucy,

Someone's got some 'splaining to do!

Posted by: cHriS LaRry | July 17, 2008 9:40 PM

Posted by: cHriS LaRry | July 17, 2008 9:53 PM

"Right Back Where We Started From" -- Maxine Nightingale

===========================================
Contest idea: How to adapt the NFL game to appeal to a broader international audience?

. Replace coin toss with Sumo match between kickers to appeal to Japanese fans
. Augment on-field experience to better resemble Japanese game show; e.g. have medicine ball pendulum made of tofu continually swinging across 50 yard line; if player gets hit, opposing team gets a point
. For Chinese fans, formally declare team preference before kickoff; if your team wins, you get to exchange your daughter for the son of a losing team's fan
. To appeal to South American fan base, replace pigskin with round ball, remove pads and helmets from uniforms, allow touching of ball only with feet, change shape of goals, and alter rules to conform to those of soccer
. And to better attract nerds, incorporate full-body portraits of Betty Childs on all NFL uniforms.

Posted by: U. N. Jefferson | July 17, 2008 10:08 PM

I don't think I missed anything by not reading that whole post.

Posted by: Lindemann | July 17, 2008 10:08 PM

I don't think we would miss anything if you hadn't commented about not missing anything either.

Posted by: Anonymous | July 17, 2008 10:14 PM

Longest repost from one blog to another EVER!

Posted by: Alex35332 | July 17, 2008 10:28 PM

Ugh....let me apologize here as well for even having anything to do with that.....

Posted by: chris LArry | July 17, 2008 11:28 PM

ChRIs Larry has a fan.

Posted by: Bobby De Niro | July 18, 2008 7:47 AM

@Applefan

Come on, really? "Please danny, we want our team back"

"Spurrier 2"?

Bring something to the table. I'm getting real sick of senseless Dan Snyder bashing for no reason.

I'm sorry that making the playoffs two of the last three years has been so tumultuous for you as a fan.

I'm sure the influx of great young players we drafted really chaps your a-- too.

And @ Chris LaRry:

Damn son...

Posted by: Rep. Heath Shuler (D-NC) | July 18, 2008 11:05 AM

"Let's Get Drunk and Screw".

Ooops - wrong contest.

Posted by: Ronnie Redneck | July 18, 2008 11:42 AM

for the record that long post, with all those stupid quotes....was not me....

Posted by: chris larry | July 18, 2008 11:45 AM

Okay Heath (D-NC) - I brought "Twilight Zone" to the table because of all the wierd, scary stuff that's happend to the Snyder owned Skins. I know your "Born to Run" is far more witty because Clinton Portis is a RUNNING back. Wow.

The problem with Danny Boy is that every time some progress is being made, like playoff appearances, he torches the team.
Hey, let's gut the coaching staff of a playoff team and bring in Spurrier 2!

Posted by: Applefan | July 18, 2008 2:11 PM

Wake up Bonita!

Posted by: Mom | July 18, 2008 4:51 PM

Bonita is MIA. Where is the Friday post?

No way to treat your loyal fans - especially now that you have started getting traction.

Posted by: Q-Tip | July 19, 2008 11:00 AM

Bonita wakes up when the sun is nice and warm.

RELAX! She'll be back.

Posted by: Stumped | July 21, 2008 1:20 PM

Bonita, I think your theme song should be "Time" by Pink Floyd.

All those alarm clocks going off will wake you up and get you to writing this blog.

One new thread a day is all we ask.

Posted by: R. Waters | July 21, 2008 1:54 PM

Has Bonita gone the way of Christian Swezey?

Posted by: Missing her | July 21, 2008 4:16 PM

I am nice and warm.

Posted by: Sun | July 21, 2008 5:07 PM

Well, I certainly feel neglected on this blog.

Posted by: P Diddy | July 21, 2008 8:16 PM

Bonita apparently has work to do somewhere. What a concept. But Q-Tip is right: The blog has lost the fitful but encouraging momentum it previously built up. I blame someone at WPNI.

Posted by: Lindemann | July 21, 2008 9:20 PM

New contest: what's Bonita doing right now?

Posted by: Nate in the PDX | July 22, 2008 9:58 AM

Doing her darnedest to neglect P Diddy.

Posted by: Nate in the PDX | July 22, 2008 10:00 AM

Going back to the judges for yet another ruling on the Theme Song contest winner.

Posted by: Nate in the PDX | July 22, 2008 10:01 AM

"Working." (ugh)

Posted by: Nate in the PDX | July 22, 2008 10:02 AM

She must have run out of Airheads and lost het assistant.

My guess is that she is perusing the local day cares in an attempt to find her next minion.

Posted by: CBT | July 22, 2008 10:31 AM

The comments to this entry are closed.

 
 
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