ABA Owner Says "Ribbet"

Recent ABA highlights, as the season openers might or might not approach, for teams that might or might not exist:

1) Olympian, the team based in China, has this to say on its Web site:

Block on Melo was good. Sun Yue: "Should gave one to James"

When talking about the big block shot on Carmelo Anthony, Sun Yue was so excited: "I achieved one of my goal: to give Dream a big block! Too bad that I did not block on LeBron James. I actually had a great chance, but the timing wasn't right". When this 6'7" guard was disappointed, Yao Ming call backed the memory when he blocked Vince Carter in Sydney Olympic. Yao Ming told Sun Yue: "Watch out for your shoes, don't let them go lose. Last time I blocked Vince Carter, but the shoes were loose and left on the backcourt, quiet pity".

2) The Tennessee Mud Frogs put out a press release about new signings in which their owner is quoted thus: "With these additions, look out ABA. And take cover. Ribbet!"

3) The Lilly Pad Dancers (the dance squad for the Mud Frogs) have the following suggestions for auditioning attire, which might or might not get me fired:

EDIT: This was really tasteless. I'm deleting the attire suggestions. If you're really that curious, follow this link.

4) The Houston Undertakers also have a dance team. They're called The Lady Undertakers. Sounds appealing.

5) The Mud Frogs are also looking for an assistant coach, via an old-fashioned help-wanted ad. Some overnight travel is required (really). Salary: Commensurate with qualifications (really). Steve Lavin need not apply (no, not really).

6) Charlie Batch has joined Allen Iverson's mom and Nick Lachey in the realm of ABA ownership, buying in with the Detroit Panthers. Panthers tickets are only $10. Or, for an even better deal, you could buy a season ticket plan: 18 games for $180.

7) The Baltimore Pearls Web site has this breaking news: "This is where we would add a short news item that would push to a larger article on another site. This is where we would put the text and it would be about this size."

8) When asked whether the 50-some-team ABA was still expanding, the CEO replied thus: "It is confusing, isn't it." Then he said they've already taken more than 20 market reservations for next year. Current projections have the world running out of sufficient humans to stock all the ABA rosters somewhere around 2024.

By Dan Steinberg |  October 5, 2006; 6:11 PM ET  | Category:  Minor League Basketball
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Posted by: Andrew | October 6, 2006 5:10 PM

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