Nick Rimando Is a Target!!! (Not for the last time)
Ok, this is fun. More fun than the search for Bobby Boswell foil Robin Rexroat, which seems to have sputtered out after my voice message left at Rexroat Realty was never returned.
So DCU beat writer Steve Goff gets an e-mail this morning from someone looking for personal information on Nick Rimando. Why, you ask? Well, because this person is one of five remaining contestants in Roche's DC101 "Water Wars" competition, in which random people with fake names attempt to shoot each other with water guns in order to win free stuff from Asylum. There are five contestants left: Two Thirds, Boba Fett, Iceberg, Sway the Irishman and the always-classy Col. Bigdix. I'll let you guess which one e-mailed Goffer. All of them look scary.
Anyhow, the point is, now that there are five contestants left and we've reached the game's sudden death, golden goal finale, they no longer have to shoot each other. Instead, they have to shoot Nick Rimando, D.C. United's veteran keeper. Naturally. Why Rimando? Roche explains in an e-mail:
Nick is a friend of mine and I wanted a fun final target for our game and Nick volunteered to do it. He knows that there are five guys tracking him with a water gun (issued by DC101) and he will be doing his best to avoid getting hit (starting tomorrow...today is recon only). They will have two opportunities to eyeball him today...after that, they have to go off intel obtained through their recon or from any other outside source.
For example, Steve Goff. The random person who e-mailed Goff wanted to know what sort of car Nicky drives and wanted photos of him in street clothes, stuff like that. Luckily, the random person has agreed to allow me to follow him tomorrow as he attempts to shoot a professional soccer player with a water gun, which should be great fun. How elusive Rimando will be is yet unknown. Roche writes:
Nick says he's going to run, and normally I'd be confident since he's a professional athlete and all. But he sprained his ankle during the playoffs...not in a match...while walking his dog! So now I'm not so sure.
Ok, DCU fans. You've helped me try to track down a random teenage girl who competed with a DCU defender on a kids' game show 12 years ago, surely you can help me help this strange person shoot Nick Rimando with a water gun. What I really need is Esky to get involved somehow....I'll bring my video camera, if that will help.
Also bear in mind these Official Rules:
The game takes place 24 hrs a day / 7 days a week, however you will not be able to eliminate your target in the following areas:
Automobiles Hospitals/Medical Buildings Churches/Religious Buildings Schools (College Campuses Excluded) Inside your home Office/Work Site Metro Trains/Busses/Stations Police/Fire Depts/Municipal Buildings Local/State/Federal Government Buildings
You will be issued a 12-hr penalty where you cannot participate if you accidentally soak a non-water wars participant.
So clearly we need to isolate Nicky somehow. Ok, thoughts?
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