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Bobby Boswell Goes Gilbert

So as if it's not enough for Bobby Boswell to have his own Web-site-slash-blog....yup, that's right, he's now having a Web-site-slash-blog launch party at a hippish downtown club. No word yet on whether Diddy and Lil' Wayne are coming, but I wouldn't be surprised. Plus, word has it Bobby will soon start changing shoes at halftime and will debut a scoring celebration known as the "George Foreman Grill."

(Important question Number One: Is Bobby's mom coming to the party? Will we finally meet in person?)

Here are the relevant details:

- Tuesday, March 20 at Play Lounge (1219 Connecticut Ave). Party is 21 & up.

- Guest list begins at 9. The only way to get on the guest list, naturally, is to RSVP at BobbyBoswell.com. You have until 3 pm the day of to RSVP. And before you get on Bobby for not being selective enough with his guest list, remember that Gilbert's people were stamping personalized Arenas Express cards outside Love on the night of his birthday bash.

- Open bar for ladies from 10 p.m. 'till midnight. More incentive for Bobby's mom to show up. Is this still the college basketball Bog, btw?

- There will, I'm told, be giveaways. "Sick giveaways," was actually the exact term. Dimetapp samples and cough drops, I guess.

- Anyone who takes a photo with Bobby at the party and emails it to this address will have the photo posted on Bobby's site. I mean, what is this, Teen People? Does the world really need to see a shirtless photo of the Barra Brava's Big Rob posed next to Bobby Boswell? Or are there screeners to prevent that sort of thing?

I was supposed to use this momentous announcement as occasion to empty my tape recorder of the hilarious pre-baby Bobby Boswell interview conducted on Wednesday, February 28. Sadly, though, my tape recorder proved unable to not delete the contents of that interview. Tragic. So I guess you'll have to wait until the party for more from Bobby, but here were the vaguely remembered highlights of that conversation.

1) So Bobby and the guys at U.S. National Team Camp were sitting around, and Bobby decided to make a list of his Top 5 Breakfast Cereals. This led to various other list-making, culminating with an effort to identify the Top 5 Starting Basketball Lineup from MLS, with the stipulation that not more than one player could come from each MLS team. This is really where we're missing our tape, because Bobby had a few choice words for various MLS players, most notably Freddy Adu, who, despite his basketball confidence, was not close to making Bobby's team. Here's his lineup:

G: Ben Olsen, D.C. United.
G: Jay Heaps, N.E. Revolution
F: Eddie Johnson, Kansas City Wizards
F: Rod Dyachenko, D.C. United *
C: Zach Thornton. Colorado Rapids

* At the time this list was compiled, Rod was actually on Toronto's roster.

2) More to the point, BobbyBoswell.com will be holding the Bobby Boswell All-Skills Challenge in coming months, in which you and a group of your friends will be able to challenge Bobby and a group of his friends to a contest at anything you'd like, as long as it doesn't go against the language of Bobby's MLS contract. This is possibly the vaguest challenge in the history of the internets. I asked Bobby for an example of a possible challenge, and I believe he suggested bow hunting, but maybe that actually was my suggestion. Either way, I'm guessing that goes against the language of his MLS contract. Frankly, you'd be better served choosing Pictionary or charades or big wave surfing.

Point being, the prize is to be determined, but the losing team will suffer some sort of public humiliation. All the important details will be posted eventually. Oh, and Bobby explicitly called out Roche from DC101. He wants in on Water Wars. He can disappear into the fabric of Washington D.C. with the snap of a fingers, he said. He will never be found, he said. The Water Wars contest will dissolve under his majesty, or something like that.

3) Here's an aside. That day I interviewed Bobby? Remember how there was a high school student, Kate, tailing me? I forgot to mention that four of her friends read the Bog, while only one of her friends reads the Soccer Insider. That tells me that I'm 400 percent more popular than Steve Goff among the high school set.

4) If you're like me, the one thing you really want to know after reading all of this is: What are Bobby Boswell's Top 5 Breakfast Cereals?

"We'll save that for another day," Bobby said.

By Dan Steinberg  |  March 14, 2007; 2:01 PM ET
Categories:  D.C. United  
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