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Wizards Playoff Math, Explained, If You Still Care, Plus Other Stuff

I was rushing around the press room last night attempting to show people my handy chart plotting out the 16 remaining scenarios for the Eastern Conference race. No one was much interested. Some openly mocked me. So instead, I bring the data to you.

First, some other stats. The Wizards are below .500 for the first time since December 15. The Wizards are 1-11 in their past 12 games without Caron Butler. The Wizards could be the NBA's third team ever to go from 10 games above .500 to a losing record, according to The Examiner. And they are guaranteed to finish with their worst record in the Antawn Jamison era.

So there are four games of interest this evening, which, like I said, means 16 outcomes. Scouts from the Cavs and Pistons were on-hand last night; afterward, they were trying to figure out where the heck they should go today. We're all a bit rattled by the uncertainty of it all.

Anyhow, in five of the possible outcomes, the Wiz will face Chicago. In four, Toronto. In four, Detroit. And in three, Cleveland. If the home teams all win tonight, the Wiz would drop to eighth and a meeting with Detroit. I've never been to Detroit, so I think this would be neato. I can't seem to find odds on two of the games, so I can't tell you what would happen if all the favorites won.

If you care at all about this, you've probably figured it all out yourself. Regardless:

If Wiz lose and Magic win: Wiz are eighth, and face Detroit.

If Wiz lose and Magic lose: Wiz are seventh, and face Chicago or Cleveland. [Chicago, unless the Cavs win and Bulls lose tonight.]

If Wiz win and Nets win: Wiz are seventh, and will almost certainly face Cleveland.

[Note: This is actually the scenario I think will happen. Cleveland, again. Go figure. At least the games would be placed in highly prized time slots.]

If Wiz win and Nets lose: Wiz are sixth, and face Toronto.

If Wiz lose and Nats lose: Washington loses its sporting license.

None of this is particularly cheery, and so let me close with three pieces of news from last night's game.

1) The Wizards players gathered in a huddle before taking the floor. The last one in was DeShawn Stevenson, who came running into the huddle while yelling "I Can't Feel My Face." Seriously.

2) Michael Lee noticed that Andray Blatche has two new tattoos. Well, he got 'em all-star weekend, but they're new enough. I didn't get a photo, but I will. On one shoulder it says "If It Doesn't Make Dollars." On the other shoulder it says "It Doesn't Make Cents."


The Wizards wives, in "I Love My Hubby" t-shirts.

3) The Wizards wives were outfitted with t-shirts that said, in blingy letters, "I Love My Hubby." They went into the stands to toss t-shirts in the fourth quarter, all while wearing their shirts. This was part of the Fan Appreciation festivities.

I didn't get a chance to see who won the Giant Three-Foot-Tall Bobbleheads, because I was actually trying to watch the game, for whatever reason. I can report that staffers were giving away Gilbert jerseys before the game started; I nearly got trampled by fans seeking such jerseys. "Man, you almost got crushed," a security guard said to me, which, as it turns out, was probably a bad omen.

By Dan Steinberg  |  April 18, 2007; 10:31 AM ET
Categories:  Wizards  
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Next: Caron Butler's Playoff Shoes

Comments

Is it just me or instead of winning basketball games, Wiz players all decided to make their wives pregnant ? Or maybe it's a bad picture, I donno...

Posted by: Julien | April 18, 2007 11:08 AM | Report abuse

I wasn't even aware there was an "Antawn Jamison era."

I really want Cleveland.

I think Blatche's new tattoos are tremendous.

Excellent work as always, Steinz!

Posted by: Jamie Mottram | April 18, 2007 11:09 AM | Report abuse

Steinz!

I was at the game and saw you giving some kind of TV update, I assume it was for my favorite show or some other CSN produced brilliance.

I also saw the mass histeria for Agent Zero jersey's. It looked like mostly kids got them - which is good - though I did see a few older guys pushing for the freebies - which is pathetic.

Anyways, the Wiz Staff did a great job with giveaways, and the team obliged the Magic the same (i.e. 25 - 44 from the strip).

I had a great time, and am glad the players have class enough to show up and play with some balls.

A few notes from my experience:

- DeShawn has the demeanor and urge to step it up, now its time for him to go to the hoop and finish. Oh yeah, and don't do the I can't feel my face, when you hit your second 3, in the second half, and then disappear.

- Blatche is a mosnter, I hope he develops and can bring some more consistency to the front court.

- The above "balls" comment does not include Brenda Haywood. Exhibit 1: Donell Taylor caused at least 4 offensive rebounds in his time on the court. Brenda bobbled a potentially key one. Exhibit 2: Worst finisher in the NBA over 6 - 10. Do some calf raises son.

- Jamison is phenomonal, but he can't carry the load - not when he blemishes a brilliant performance with an utter ineptitude at the free throw line.

- The WIZ need veterans who can contribute.

- Was that Hedo Turkoglu circa Kings '98 - '03?

Thanks for the space, I can feel my face.

Posted by: WaPoLiveFan16 | April 18, 2007 11:44 AM | Report abuse

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