Nats Ban Skittles
Two extremely important Nats stories
1) Chris from Capitol Punishment has the requisite amount of fun with the crazed story coming out of RFK that the team has axed its supplies of such essential treats as Milky Ways, Twinkies and Skittles.
These are poison. Avoid them.
In are fruits, walnuts, carrots and a salad bar. Fried chicken has also been banned from the premises. Instead, they will have rotisserie chicken.
According to general manager Jim Bowden, the idea came from catcher Brian Schneider and right-hander John Patterson, who felt it was time for the team to eat healthier. Bowden, trainer Lee Kuntz and clubhouse manager Mike Wallace agreed with the plan and implemented it on Tuesday.
"It's important how we eat and take care of our body. You don't want to walk into a clubhouse and have junk food," Schneider said. "You want to give the guys choices and options. If they want to eat healthy, we have given them that choice. They took a lot of stuff out."
No tofu? No all-bran? If eating junk food was good enough for a 12-5 stint, and twigs and branches have led to a 15-0 Dodgers abomination, are there second thoughts? And does "banned from the premises" mean a player couldn't bring in some KFC on the sly? Would Guzman be deputized to catch the violator? Would he then drop the violator?
Also: Twinkies? I haven't had a Twinkie since about 1983. I think it would be much preferable to stick with Ding-Dongs.
(PS: Based on the past two nights, it's a good thing the team didn't attempt to ban snickers.)
2) From the same story, how is it possible that the doctor who will examine Shawn Hill's elbow is named Mark Schickendantz? You can see his obviously fake picture here. I mean, Shickendantz? What, Dr. Hokeypoke was busy all week? This season has not been nearly as ridiculous as I hoped, but once your pitchers (and hello, their ELBOWS) are being examined by a guy named for an arm-flapping wedding exercise, you know things are looking up.
By Dan Steinberg |
May 31, 2007; 10:14 AM ET
| Category:
Nats
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Get This Widget >>
Posted by: Kim | May 31, 2007 10:59 AM
Guzman would definitely DEFINITELY drop the violator. Or they would slip right past his glove as he dove for them causing a two run single. What? Bitter? No, why do you ask?
Posted by: Atlanta | May 31, 2007 11:59 AM
"You want to give the guys choices and options. If they want to eat healthy, we have given them that choice. They took a lot of stuff out."
WAR IS PEACE
SLAVERY IS FREEDOM
IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH
LESS IS MORE
Posted by: Chest Rockwell | May 31, 2007 01:10 PM
"(PS: Based on the past two nights, it's a good thing the team didn't attempt to ban snickers.)"
i see what you did there!
Posted by: bryc3 | May 31, 2007 01:51 PM
I think that's Ron Burgundy.
Posted by: Bob | May 31, 2007 02:30 PM
I will now retroactively begin my protest of the Nationals.
Posted by: sitruc | May 31, 2007 05:51 PM
Wait, the name of their trainer is Lee Kuntz and some poor guy named Shickendantz is catching heat? I think Kuntz at least deserves his own paragraph. Just me though.
Posted by: .23 | May 31, 2007 06:21 PM
The comments to this entry are closed.
Banning junk food in the clubhouse?
Look for Dmitri Young, and Ronnie Belliard to demand a trade soon.