A Redskin Gets Stuffed
(John McDonnell - TWP)
(This entry brought to you by Comcast SportsyNet's Washington Post Live, which will include a guest spot with Kedric Golston today, 5-6 pm, check local listings.)
Redskins defensive tackle Kedric Golston is a big dude: 6-foot-4, about 315 pounds. "You think he's just going to pick up his competitor and drop him in his belly," is how Waleed R. Zarou put it.
Waleed is the owner of Don Corleone's Brick Oven Pizzeria in Sterling, which is hosting this Sunday's "Pros vs. Joes" pizza eating challenge. The team of "Pros" includes boxer Jimmy Lange, professional eater Ian "The Invader" Hickman and Golston. Waleed met with the second-year lineman to prep him for this weekend's event, and even made him a pizza. You know, for practice.
"After like three slices I was stuffed," Golston reported. "He was like, 'Brother, you're going to struggle in this competition.' "
"I wasn't too impressed," Waleed confirmed. "I figure if I catch him after a practice, he'll do more damage."
"You know, I eat early and often, but not large amounts at one time," Golston said. "I got guys on my team who just murder food. I don't see how they do it."
I mean, Golston has been a pleasant surprise on the line, but I really don't think he's cut out for this. He tried downing some Nathan's hot dogs a few months ago, just to emulate the eating masters like Joey Chestnut and Takeru Kobayashi.
"I ate like one and a half of them, and I was gonna burst," he told me.
He's careful about his health, so his meals are made up of chicken breasts and fish and protein shakes and broccoli, stuff like that. Not piles of pizza.
"I'm totally going against everything I believe in," he said.
Of course, this is all for charity--in this case, East Africa Missions, which concentrates on economic development in Kenya. And of course, Golston will be carried by his professional-eating teammate The Invader; the other two teams will be chosen from the "Joes," or maybe "Janes," who pay to enter the event's raffle.
And even though Golston is presumably not hurting for money, he'll be eligible for the more than $1,000 worth of exciting cash and non-cash prizes, including Redskins tickets, "if he wants to go see himself," Waleed said.
Golston admitted that some of his football teammates might be more suited to this happening, which is 10 minutes long and will feature 18-inch pies, double-cut into 16 slices (to make the competitors feel better about their stats). (Also, the event will be emceed by someone dressed like Don Corleone, which might make for a good Golston photo op, if nothing else.)
Guard Randy Thomas has entered eating contests before; Golston labeled him "a legend" and said "I need to call him and figure out how to warm my stomach up." Former D-linemen Renaldo Wynn and Joe Salave'a were "definitely in the top five" of Redskins eaters, but they've both been released. (Demetric Evans, though, is not an eating star; "he's too pretty," Golston said.)
He's thinking maybe he should use scare tactics, try to intimidate his average-Joe opponents. He's worried he might be his team's weakest link.
"I've been trying to drink a lot of water and a lot of bread to stretch my stomach, but it just ain't been working," he said. "You know, I'm going to try. If I can do three-fourths of one [pie], I'll be pretty proud of myself. I don't want to eat myself into a coma."
By Dan Steinberg |
September 26, 2007; 10:30 AM ET
| Category:
Redskins
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Posted by: Unsilent Majority | September 26, 2007 11:02 AM
Sign Ladell Betts up! I hear he is much better at getting stuffed.
Posted by: 1st and Goal | September 26, 2007 12:19 PM
I would like to know why the Redskins are letting him even consider doing this. Shouldn't he be more worried about maintaining the exact playing weight the Redskins need him at instead of trying to down entire pies. We're in the middle of a season, bye week or not. Football should be the first priority.
Posted by: Janks | September 26, 2007 12:21 PM
Dear East Africa Missions,
Sorry to hear about the famine in Kenya. We had a great fundraiser for you here in DC. You cannot believe how much these guys can eat! They were knocking back entire pizzas like they were tortilla chips! Of course, a couple guys ended up puking it all up and had to be eliminated from the contest (hate when that happens).
Anyway, here's your check for the proceeds from the fundraiser. It would've been a lot more except we had to spend so much money on the pizza.
Good luck with that economic development. Maybe you should try an eating contest.
Posted by: Bill Fitzgerald | September 26, 2007 12:35 PM
Those posts were hilarious except for Janks. Janks, while I understand where you're coming from, I would not consider a 10 MINUTE eating contest for charity detrimental to the team,lol. I'd rather see Golston boosting the Redskins' image then hearing about him makin' it rain..
Posted by: Hilarious posts | September 26, 2007 1:04 PM
I agree with Hilarious Posts. Lighten up Janks. You think Randy Thomas, healthy or not, isn't engaging in a one-man competitive eating contest night in and night out in his own kitchen? Have you heard any complaints the last few years of him being overweight or out of shape? Neither have I. You're probably some wannabe journalist sitting at your desk, cheeto powder all over your fingers, looking for something to complain about during the bye week. Let's focus our attention on more pressing issues, like what happened to our offensive and defensive schemes in the second half on Sunday. I bet you think we couldn't pressure Eli late because Andre Carter had an extra grilled cheese sandwich Saturday night, don't you?
Vegas!
Posted by: SteveO | September 26, 2007 1:34 PM
Only a few slices?
What?
C'mon big-guy. I'm far from a competitive eater(and literally half his weight), but even I can finish off a whole pizza. Brick-oven pizza's are even easier than your garden-variety Dominoes.
Posted by: AlecW81 | September 26, 2007 1:52 PM
Steve O do you know anything about nutrition? Why don't you crawl out of your nerdlinger engineering hole and think about the fact that you haven't heard about Golston and his weight because he hasn't played considerable minutes until now. A priority for the defense has been to get younger and faster. Do you think eating competitions are going to help with that? Nice choice on the grilled cheese sandwich. I bet you are one of those fans that just sits in the club level with your air conditioned suite and doesn't pay attention to the game enough to find any faults. Clearly there are bigger issues, but what ever happened to a complete commitment to your profession? Based on the way the defense fell apart in the second half, it looks like the defensive players could use all the nutritional supplements they can use.
Vegas Baby Vegas!
Posted by: Sir Janks | September 26, 2007 3:03 PM
I find it incredibly lame that you guys are having a blog-fight here. We're here to talk about the skins, and how their fat defense blows games. Lets have a Chipotle eating competition next!
Posted by: Go Eagles | September 26, 2007 3:13 PM
I find it incredibly lame that your team has never won a single Super Bowl. I say we have a ring showing contest next. Every one flashes their Super Bowl rings. The team from the NFC East with zero gets to go back to their stinkhole of a town to suck down another cheesesteak.
Posted by: E-A-G-L-E-S B-L-O-W | September 26, 2007 3:25 PM
Lets have a Eagle fan killing contest.
Posted by: The Mayor | September 26, 2007 11:28 PM
Eagles suck!!!
Posted by: SkinsWin | September 27, 2007 2:19 PM
The comments to this entry are closed.
All Mike Sellers has to do is glare at the pizza and it will eat itself.