Wiz Preseason Stylings
Nick Young's slippers.
Two days until the Wiz season starts, and the gents are getting excited. "It's like going back to school," Gilbert Arenas was saying today. "You can't sleep that night, you've got all your clothes ready to go. That's just like the first [game]: you want to make sure you've got the best suit going out to the floor."
Some teammates tried out the "it's like Christmas morning" line, but let's stick with the clothes metaphor for now, because the Wiz have been breaking out the sartorial stylings this week. Like rookie Nick Young, walking around the Verizon Center wearing bedroom slippers.
"I've got to relax today," he explained. "People be stepping on my feet."
Or Oleksiy Pecherov, whose injured right ankle has him using crutches. Check that, using stylish Wizards-toned crutches: the left crutch was blue, the right crutch was black. That's the one Pech was offering to bystanders in lieu of handshakes.
Shaggy Opec, shaking hands, color-coded.
"It's fancy," Pecherov acknowledged, gesturing to his arms. "It's special; it's for left, it's for right. You wake up in the night, you can miss. It's blue it's for left, it's black it's for right."
(Also, "I go weightlifting," he promised team president Ernie Grunfeld. "After this month, I'm gonna be 'Hmmmmm' strong. Rebounds, blocked shot, defense, 'Hmmmmm."
When he says "Hmmmmm," you must picture him flexing while on crutches.)
Coach Eddie Jordan was asked whether he's worked on his game-day fashion in preparation for the season opener; "I don't work on it," he said. "I monitor the fact that I can let my pants out every year, maybe get some new jackets to fit me. I try to keep in shape, but I'm losing the battle."
But the most important development is Andray Blatche's expansive mohawk, making him at least the third Wizard to have experimented with that style.
"Oh I love it," said DeShawn Stevenson, who tried a mohawk over the summer.
The 'Dre hawk, which is now even larger.
"I started that," Young said. "I'm the creator of the 'fro-hawk. It's not a mohawk, it's a 'fro-hawk."
"You didn't create that," interrupted Young's fellow rookie, roommate and comic partner Dominic McGuire. "He's a biter. He steals people's ideas, that's what he does."
"See, he's a hater," Young said. "Look at the hater."
By the way, believe it or not, Jordan also experimented with that once-hip hair trend several times over the summer. Although, sadly, never for public consumption.
"I had a mohawk, but I didn't leave the bathroom, I just sort of hung out in the bathroom," Jordan told me. "I cut my own hair--sometimes you can probably tell--and when you're doing it you go from the sides to the middle. And you just kind of hang out and say, 'Yeah, look at my mohawk' for about five minutes. But again, I don't leave the bathroom."
Aha, a possible Opening Night, back-to-school look for the coach?
"No way," he said.
By Dan Steinberg |
October 29, 2007; 5:10 PM ET
| Category:
Wizards
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Posted by: Darvin | October 29, 2007 5:35 PM
Darvin is rite! Wizznutzz.com have been on this beat for decades, so next time Give WHOLE QUOTE, Steinz!!!
"I cut my own hair--sometimes you can probably tell..."
was really followed by:
"...Sometimes my Sharpie gets beaten down and I color outside the lines."
I heard every word because I was sitting under bleachers trying to look up Andray's shorts!!!!!!!!!!!!
Don't get lazye on us, Steinz!!!!
Posted by: Dana | October 29, 2007 5:38 PM
How did we survive the offseason? Long live the Wiz.
Posted by: Mike in SD | October 29, 2007 5:40 PM
and also when Eddie Jordan tells you he spent the summer hanging out in a bathroom then you need to have at least 10 questions at the ready. We can fax you some if you need. we have over 300 questions for that situation and only 8 of them mention Ty Lue dancing starkers under the hand drier
Posted by: Darvin | October 29, 2007 5:45 PM
Darvin isn't lying about WizzNutzz having many questions on hand for bathroom situations. I interviewed for my internship with WizzNutzz in the Wheaton Circuit City bathroom. My wide stance and "me time" was violated by probing questions about Jamocha shakes, Mexican peyote and how much time I could spend sweating into a box of Lorenzo Williams non-game-worns in order to corner the eBay market. I ran out of the stall with my Rex Chapmans around my ankles and dove into the Mothering Hut for a round of highly calming self-flagellation.
Posted by: Ken Beatrice | October 29, 2007 5:52 PM
BACK IN THE HUT!!!!
BACK IN THE HUT!!!!
BACK IN THE HUT!!!!
BACK IN THE HUT!!!!
Posted by: DArvin | October 29, 2007 5:54 PM
when i think about wizards and fashion i always have to think of time i saw Ernie Grunfeld and David "Old Navy" Robinson at Club Love wearing overalls and crocs and smiles nothing else.
Posted by: Darvin | October 29, 2007 5:58 PM
I, too, use a coal-black Sharpie. I use it to draw portraiture of myself in a shade that is 1,000 times brighter than my soul.
Posted by: August Strindberg | October 29, 2007 6:01 PM
I can wait for the season!!!! I just ordered my Executive Nachos today for first home game. It takes days to prepare, mostly the aging part, and also Abe Pollin individually naming the jalapenos
Posted by: Darvin | October 29, 2007 6:05 PM
I love idea of drawing hair in place of hair!!! My beard is such mess -- just today I find piece of Kääriäinen Köyliö
red herring bone in it, a fish that been extinct for more than 20 years!!!
I remember catch extinction during first week aboard schooner ship USS Minun Pitää Mennä that sneak into Russian fishing waters. I was 4 years old and working 18th hour shift for 37th day in row when Captain Haapaniemi say me, "Mene suoraan käänny sitten vasempaan!!!"
I laugh so hardy and say back, "Nähdään myöhemmin!"
And Captain laugh so hardier and with flem cough punctuation and cigar-and-vodka breath I remember so well from sad time in bunk and say "Suomi on mahtava maa!"
HHAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TRUER Words Have Never Been Speaken!!!
Posted by: Jarkko | October 29, 2007 6:15 PM
it's like Steinberg week on Washington Post Live
Tuesday - Blog Show & BogTV
Wednesday - 60-minute panelist
Friday - Special Gilbert Arenas segment on a special edition of Washington Post Live
It must be Wizards season!
Posted by: littles | October 29, 2007 6:25 PM
So i was in a bar with some guys from the Dead Tree Crew last saturday and they were looking for Bro-Hawks : guys in eagles jersseys to make out with and then attack them and their confusion made me think of the feeling I get when i hear aboiut AGent Zero traded for Kobe and i swear that day it happens is trhe day the wizznutzz shutter the doors on the mothering hut and get real jobs, like parking Chick Hernandezs KIA at Velocty Grill, and only thing that would make us change mind of course is if we got saome real value back in the trade like say KWAME BROWN!!!!!!!!! THE RETURN OF THE VINAGRETTE!!! DESTINY = AKIMBO!!!! ALL HAIL THE MANCHILD!!! THE GOSPEL OF JIM LYNAM FORSEE IT!!! YOU CANT SPELL RESURRECTION WITHOUT URRECTION!!!!
Posted by: Darvin | October 29, 2007 6:26 PM
ohmygod we're trading for Kobe and Kwame???? i love you gil, but my pants just split with anticipatioN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i just broke into anthor rasher!!!! KOBE, CALL ME!!! KWAME, JUST STOP BY AT YOUR USUAL TIME!!!!! (And this time DO NOT FORGOT THE "FRENCH DRESSING"). i will borrow HD 20-inch widescreen TV from Wizznutzz home office to show yoiu this new video i made!!!!! And Rod & Chico, if you're reading this, youre invited too -- but this time bring Diet Coke. If Mrs. Cap'n Morgan get any wider we're gonna have to bump up to a 40-incher at the next video premire!!
Posted by: Dana | October 29, 2007 6:33 PM
Hey Dana I just read on Gaithersburg Center for Family Planning website that Capris Sun and Sparxx does NOT stop you getting pregant! Even if the man drinks it too.
Posted by: Darvin | October 29, 2007 6:39 PM
Actually Darvin!!!!! the Capri Sun and Sparxx does keep a man's French dressing from meeting its babymaker, especially when they are held securely in place by spandex.
Posted by: Dana | October 29, 2007 6:54 PM
Is this thread still alive?
No.
We shall be dead together.
For once I've found a mate.
Posted by: August Strindberg | October 29, 2007 10:26 PM
Remember: Awvee Storey is lurking in the bowels of the Verizon Center, still looking for his bacon. What mischief will Awvee be up to this year? It depends if I ever finish chronicling last year's adventures.
Posted by: Rex I. M. Chapman | October 29, 2007 10:29 PM
BTW, I saw that the Mothering Hut was closed for renovations, so I spent all day lying on the floor beneath the deep fryer at Golden House Take-Out Palace in beautiful Downtown Silver Spring. I am now crispy and aromatic like ancient Chinese eggroll. Please make sure to keep Jahidi away from me for the next 48 hours.
Posted by: Rex I. M. Chapman | October 29, 2007 10:31 PM
Rex, I despise you for bringing this thread back to life. However, nothing shall resurrect this soul -- no matter how many floor seats (2) + Executive Nachos coupons Mr. Pollin overnights to the Norra Begravningsplatsen cemetery to the attention of my fetid name.
Posted by: August Strindberg | October 29, 2007 10:44 PM
You can feel the season coming.
Posted by: Unsilent Majority | October 30, 2007 9:50 AM
Andray Blatche = Most improved player
This thread= amazing nonsense
Me tomorrow night= peeing my pants to gil's deep threes, jamison's flip shots and red carpet defense, butler's shaka shaka watch yourself dribble, mcguire's surprising blocking skills, nick young's high flying act, and last but not least Brendan "loves his mama" haywood's lack of post moves and catching rebounds like flies skills
Posted by: Delasoulos | October 30, 2007 10:34 AM
The comments to this entry are closed.
Agenmt Steinz your incites r getting lazy! Wizznutzz have reported for years about Coach Jordan doing his own hair and "by doing his own hair " he means applying it each week with a thick sharpie!!!! some times he adds eyebrows for drama even tho sometimes its like CWebb sex : 2 Much Drama!