Gil Won't Debut on the Road

Gil, not playing. (Nick Wass/AP Photo)

The headline for this entry could just as easily have been "Gilbert Considers Suicide," because his latest blog post--another bit of pure Internet mastery--includes this passage concerning his drive home after he was ruled out of Sunday's game:

It was just me and my car ... speeding -- something that I shouldn't be doing. Then I got that thought that I know everybody gets once in a while, I was like, "You know, what if I just ran my car into this pole right here?"

I don't know why I thought that, but I kept going with it. "Then I can jump off the road into this lake and just swim ... or drown. Whichever one comes first."

It was really devastating. I was thinking, "Mannn, again?!" But I listened to Young Jeezy's verse in "They Know" to get me past those bad thoughts ... plus, I'm sane. I'm a sane person, I wouldn't do that to myself.

Suddenly I felt like I was reading "Catch-22" or Kafka something. "They're not going to send a crazy man out to be killed, are they?" Anyhow, much as it pains me to divide up genius into bullet points, if you read the whole thing you'll learn:

* That Gil still wants to come off the bench and play 20 or so minutes if he returns, and that he needs 15-20 games to get into a proper rhythm, much as Ivan Carter reported this morning.

* That if he ever returns, it'll be at home, "in front of the D.C. crowd."

* That DeShawn Stevenson has been practicing '80s dance routines with the Wiz cheerleaders for a birthday party he's hosting. (April 3 is the big day, not sure when the party is.)

* That Gil's response to the "one more week" dictate was "What's one more week going to do? I don't grow facial hair in a week! Nothing happens in a week."

* That Gil threw all his clothes out of his locker in anger.

* That Gil plans on practicing reverse psychology on the team's doctors, telling them he no longer wants to play in order to trick them into clearing him.

* That Gil's son's birthday party cost $30.

(Actual news-type quote:

People don't understand that it takes time to get a rhythm. To be honest, I don't know if I can get a rhythm fast enough to be the player I know I can be by the end of the season with so few games left. Especially going back to my history of how I start seasons, I don't start the seasons as powerful as I'd like to.

They want me to practice more, but I'd like to get back to game speed faster by "practicing" in games. It's not like we're going up against any powerful scoring point guards the rest of the way. I can just use the games to get a rhythm and get my wind back. Plus, our team practices aren't as intense this late in the season, so the games are really the only way for me to get my rhythm to where I'm a superstar level.

It's going to take me at least 15-20 games, and there's not 15-20 games left. That's what I'm fighting against.

But that's not the good stuff.)

By Dan Steinberg | March 25, 2008; 5:17 PM ET | Category: Wizards
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wow

Posted by: Nancy | March 25, 2008 05:24 PM

he has issues...

Posted by: rfzonadc | March 25, 2008 05:36 PM

Good blog post by Gil. He'll be back soon enough.

Posted by: jdp | March 25, 2008 05:42 PM

$1,000,000 on party for yourself

$30 on party for your child

Yeah, that's fair.

Posted by: Barno | March 25, 2008 05:58 PM

my man

Posted by: | March 25, 2008 06:06 PM

my man

Posted by: | March 25, 2008 06:06 PM

deshawn can dance if he wants to, he can leave his friends behind...

Posted by: jrp | March 25, 2008 06:16 PM

Gilbert driving his car into poles, DeShawn practicing his dance moves with the cheerleaders, Pecherov getting his groove on with the hotties in Miami.... What a team.

Posted by: | March 25, 2008 07:13 PM

I heard Deshawn Stevenson got the idea from Wizards equipment manager Rob Suller who has been practicing dance routines with Cuppy Coffee and Biggy Bagel from Dunkin Donuts for his birthday bash later in the year.

Posted by: You Know Him | March 25, 2008 11:15 PM

Wiz PR boy Daren Jenkins had similar thoughts of suicide when Zack Bolno announced he was leaving the Wizards Jenkins first thought he would drive his bicycle into a bush but he remembered a verse from his Favorite bobby mcferen song "don't worry be happy"

Posted by: i got work | March 26, 2008 01:10 AM

if Gilbert commits suicide, that will be one of the worst things ever to happen in the world of sports.

here's to praying he never considers it again. or just that he considers it and tells us about it, but doesn't actually do it.

Posted by: please lord no | March 26, 2008 02:12 AM

People take things so literal with Gil. This guys is as sane as any of us. The difference with Gil is that he shares his thoughts with the world. Where as most people keep certain thoughts to themselves so as not to be percieved as crazy. And what is wrong with spending $40 on a childs birthday who is just turning one. Sounds like a sane thing to do if you asked me. The kids had a ball it seems. It's the adults that tend to go overboard. A child doesn't care as long as they have a cake,balloons,music and people around to love them and make them feel safe. Quit nitpicking on Gil. Gil is fine and I love his blog. He says things that many people only think and gets criticized for doing so. When I read that statement, I thought, OK Gil. TMI, my man TMI. Gotta love him though :-)

Posted by: | March 26, 2008 08:19 AM

I'm all for Gilbert going swimming.

If it makes his rehab better. Hey, Tim Duncan was a good swimmer!

Posted by: garbaggio | March 26, 2008 06:03 PM

Gil Won't Debut on the Road

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