The World's Most Ridiculous Hoops Game

(By John McDonnell - TWP)

Summer in D.C. Sports. So boring. Nothing happening. Wizards gone. Redskins mostly gone. Russian superstars gone. Ukrainian soundbite machines gone. Soccer team struggling. Baseball team struggling. Tiger's months away. Nothing to blog about.

What we need a real crazy burst of nonsense to look forward to. Something that would bring together, at a minimum, the most bloggable athletes from the Wizards and Skins. Say, Clinton Portis, Santana Moss and Fred Smoot, to start. Then maybe throw in, hmmm, Caron Butler and DeShawn Stevenson.

As long as we're dreaming here, let's extend invites to two of the most insane athletes in America, just to up the chances of random acts of mohawk-cutting, bicep-flexing and porn-filming. Say, Terrell Owens and Chad Johnson. And maybe some old-school sound-bite insanity. Gary Payton, for example. And then some random headline rousers, like Willis McGahee and Jerry Porter and Kenyon Martin, for the heck of it. And to cap it all off, why not invite Braylon Edwards, the Official Athlete Spokesperson Concerning Sports Blogs?

Location? UDC, I guess; close to my house, easy access to Schlotzsky's and totally random.

So in this dream, we're talking about an early June charity basketball game at UDC featuring Clinton Portis, Fred Smoot, Caron Butler, DeShawn Stevenson, Chad Johnson, Terrell Owens, Gary Payton, Braylon Edwards, and all the rest, with the promise of celebrity halftime entertainment even better than the game itself. Yeah, that'd probably be good for a few days of blog copy. If only, right?

Wait, what's that?