I sympathize with that question - my mother and aunt have a gift-a-thon every year, and since my aunt has a larger disposable income, she usually has more and bigger gifts. My siblings and I (all grown, some with kids, none with large homes) have tactfully pointed out that we no longer require or want large piles of stuff, but the mother and aunt still continue to quantify their affection with presents.

So, you are not alone. I recommend baked goods - that's what I did last year! Everyone likes them, and who can argue with the hours you spent slaving over the oven? Glam them up with coffee or wine, and display in baskets wrapped in cellophone and attach a little sprig of seasonal greens and a bow for festivity. Some florists may wrap the baskets for you, if you ask nicely and come to the shop completely prepared. And Marshalls can be your friend this year - I'll share. ; )

If your sister flips out when you tell her you're strapped for cash this year, get her only one gift: Dr. Seuss's "How the Grinch Stole Christmas", bookmarked at the place where all the Whos down in Whoville sing around the tree despite having no gifts or decorations.

And you can get "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" for $5 at Kohls -- the money goes to their children's charity.

How old is your sister? Throwing a fit if she is over the age of, say 16, she needs psychiatric help.

If other people want to give large amounts of gifts - let them. If you want to give large amounts of gifts - give them. Otherwise, lets all grow up, and realize there is more to gifting season then recieving - its called giving.

And I'm not even a christian!

I have a similar issue. I need gift ideas for my brother. He is very successful in his job and can (and does) buy anything he wants and needs. My funds are limited. I've given him some sentimental gifts in past years (photo collages and albums; toys from his childhood found on eBay), but I'm looking for new inspiration. Anyone?

How about a gift of a card with your thoughts about how you appreciate them, or just spend some time with them. If they have every material thing they want/need, then maybe the gift of time spent together would be better.

These posts of what to get for people just remind me of how materialistic Christmas has become. If you're not a child, why do you expect a gift?

Enjoy the season and the people. Long after you/I/we all are gone, the memories will be the things that are left of us.

"If you're not a child, why do you expect a gift?"

I understand this sentiment, but there's still the tradition of opening things around the tree that gives us family time that we don't normally get -- we even wrap things like gift cards and charity donations so that there's something for everyone to open on December 25. Yes it's sentimental, but the holidays are also laced with tradition, not just the materialism aspect (this is not to say that the holidays haven't become frighteningly materialistic, but sometimes opening presents isn't totally about the presents themselves, nice though they may be).

invite your sister over for lunch (soon!) and tell her. Tell her you love her very much, don't want to disaappoint her, but can't afford to do the big gift exchange this year. Ask her how the two of you can work together to still make Christmas special. sometimes it works better to approach situations like this by enlisting her help. good luck!

My husband and I have decided to not do gifts this year, we just got married and we're saving for a house and children. We're not going to any relatives' for the holidays (so that helps with some of the gifts) and our immediate families have been informed that their gift is us moving closer. The family is still getting us gifts, but they do seem to understand why we cannot return the favor this year.

To the person who's looking for a present for their brother, how about preparing a special meal of his childhood favorites. You can present it as a coupon to be redeemed or make a card or make a fancy menu on your computer and frame it.

This year I am also cash strapped, but I pick up items all year long so that I don't feel so stressed. It also allows me to be more creative. I go to the local thrift shops for unique items that can be dressed up for the holidays. I also make cookies and other desserts to give away.

Actually, the whole gift thing gets totally out of hand. I personally give tons of gifts to our DD, who is just under three. I also give gifts to each of my 5 nieces and nephews. I don't give gifts to adults on my side of the family. My brother actually started this by annoncing that he only wanted to exchange gifts to children. That was fine but he was the only one with kids then. So his family got gifts and the rest of us didn't. It really seemed lame at the time. But years later, each one of us has started families of our own and it has actually worked out well for us. Our mother buys small gifts to each of the grand children and a gift card for a resturant to the family. It is enough for each family to take their family to dinner. So larger families get a larger gift card. I guess the problem lies with how much to give nieces and nephews. I always send $50 gift or check to each child. eldest brother, ie cheap brother, finds the cheapest piece of crap off the clearance rack. It is not about money. If he actually sent something that showed time and effort, it would be more appropriate. But he seems to find just about anything and send it. Last year he sent a bag of rubberbands to my 2 year old. What is up with that? So what do you do? I feel I can't say anything. Their financial situation is not as great as ours but not bad enough to send rubber bands. But I feel it is impolite to say anything. But I feel when he does stuff like that it is just truly insulting to my child. After years of sending wonderful things to his kids, this is how he reacts.

May I suggest the St. Jude's website for small gifts that also help out a great organization.... they have small ornaments designed by patients that are great for gifts...

http://shop.stjude.org:/GiftCatalog/shop.do?cID=11344&pID=13296

I like some of the ideas here...the dinner of childhood favorites is a great idea for a sibling! And the St. Jude's gift site is a great idea, too. Also, check out shop.thehungersite.com, which has similar gifts, as well as links to the breast cancer store, the animal rescue store, and others.

Make special treats (jam, picked vegetables, Alton Brown's "instant" pudding mix, hand-mixed trail mix, etc) and package and present them . Make sure you consider their tastes -- why does everyone get my husband and I coffee flavorings when we don't drink coffee?

If your sister can't appreciate it, too bad.

Several years ago my niece and I plotted to kill the "Secret Santa list" which our relatives had passed out for years, mandating that each person on the list got three gifts (rotated giftees each year). The gifts were generally under $50 or $25, but the stress level of remembering every year what you sent the last year and to whom and the mailing and packing finally got to us! We jointly announced the end of the gift-giving lists, and surprisingly, there were few complaints. We all now send cards, and instead give birthday gifts to our relatives. Killing "secret santa" has saved everyone an enormous amount of time, effort, money, and aggravation over the holidays and instead allows us to concentrate on our relatives on their special day.

Can anyone think of a polite way to say that we would appreciate contributions to our kids college fund (two 2-year old twins and a one year old), a donation to Toys-for-Tots, or even just consumables like crayons or diapers over larger toys?

We have a myriad of issues when family give us gifts: some are just not age-appropriate (I nicknamed one from last year "The Widowmaker" after it managed to maim two kids and bloody the third in under five minutes), the guilt I have over so much money spent on us when most of us are strapped most of the year, our kids get overwhelmed by a dozen people handing them each shiny presents at once, we really do want to limit the shear volume of toys that are in the house, and we want to keep gift-giving fair among all of the siblings - some with families, some still in school, and some just recently married.

This season just makes me nervous and antsy - I want Christmas to be enjoyable and not come across as a scrooge, but I am having a hard time trying to balance familial demands without making a festive Christmas dinner of Ramen.

Oy. This is the best solution that I come can come up with - does anyone else have any others?

I was all for the 'baked goods' idea to accommodate my 10 nieces and nephews on my husband's side (we don't have any kids) & it seemed to work out well the first two years. Last year, a couple of the kids made some disappointing comments about their individual tins filled with homemade goodies (that took days of my time and energy to prepare). It really hurt my feelings and none of their parents made any attempt to correct the comments. This year they'll be lucky if they get anything from me. Perhaps a family gift of a book on good manners.

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