Turkey and Manners

Q: Can you find out where the pear candles in the photo on the cover of yesterday's food section were purchased? They're great!

Food editor Joe Yonan says they're from Whole Foods and the large candles cost $5.

Q: I'm desperately trying to find organic clothing for children this holiday season! Are there any stores that sell it?

I hear that Yiro on P Street in Georgetown has organic clothing for children. Suzanne D'Amato, the deputy editor of the Sunday Source says American Apparel also offers a Sustainable Edition line, made of organic cotton, which includes some items for children.

Q: My children often go to Atlanta for one of the holidays and their uncle has served a deep fried turkey the past 2 years. They rave about it like no other food--sounds like heresy to me and I cannot fry one my myself but would like to order one to try this Thanksgiving. Do you have a suggestion as to where I might order one in the Washington area? Have searched the internet and get mostly recipes and one source - Popeye's. Surely there is another local source?

Q: My family and I are tired of making and eating turkey at Thanksgiving but want to give it one last shot by trying a deep-fried turkey this year. We don't want to make it at home, so can you suggest a restaurant or caterer in the D.C. or Baltimore area that sells them?

Erin Hartigan, the food and dining editor at washingtonpost.com, did some research on this for us:

The Neighborhood Restaurant Group, the folks behind Evening Star Cafe, Tallula, Vermilion and Rustico, are selling fried turkeys ($69.95). Order by Monday at noon (703-549-3444) and pick up your bird on
Wednesday at Del Ray's Planet Wine.

In Capitol Heights, Rosebud's BBQ (301-336-2009) requires two days notice to prepare a fried turkey ($60). While you're there, you can stock up on macaroni & cheese and collard greens as well.

Q: We often host the holidays at our house, and I enjoy being with our family and cooking up a storm. However, last year, my 5-year-old niece ran all over the house. She took food up to the bedrooms, jumped on all the beds, and broke items that were precious to my children. A closed door means nothing to her. Her parents are apologetic, but they do nothing to reign her in, and I'm busy cooking and watching my own children. This year, they have a new baby to take care of, too. What can I do to protect my house? I keep thinking her behavior will improve with age, but there's no sign that it has so far.

This is a great question and I talked to two experts on our staffs: Stacey Garfinkle, who writes the parenting newsletter at washingtonpost.com, and Jura Koncius, a staff writer at the Post's Home section who is one of the best mothers I know.

They both agree that these children need supervision. They suggest enlisting another trusted family member -- or even hire a babysitter-- to be on kid watch and enforce the rules for all the children. Rather than focus solely on your niece, make sure all the kids know certain rules, such as Thanksgiving being a downstairs party and all food remains in the dining room.

Stacey said another "trick" that has worked well for her 4-year-old and nieces and nephews is a new sticker book or "I Spy"-like book. They take a lot of time and focus activity in a constructive way. Also, how about encouraging all the children to play Duck, Duck Goose, Candyland or other group games? If you plan on having a kids table, suggest to your niece when she enters that she can be a special helper to you by setting the kids table. Show her the silverware and let her count out all the place settings and put them on the table.

One other note, have your own children put their favorite toys away and out of reach, both for any youngsters in the house who could break them as well as the new baby. That should help calm nerves before anyone even arrives.

When all else fails, Jura says be honest. Take the mom aside privately (don't make a public spectacle of it) and ask what everyone can do to help her take care of her child, knowing she (the mom) will be needed by a baby. Good luck!!!

Q: I'm your typical D.C. young professional whose existence consists of broke and broker. I know my older relatives (grandparents, older aunts and uncles) don't need some new trinket and I'd rather spend my limited funds on something worthwhile. I would like to make donations to charity in their name, but I'm hesitant. Does it seem self- interested on my part? Would it be rude? I would select charities that reflect THEIR interests, for example my grandma LOVES manatees so I would donate money to a manatee rescue fund. My aunt and uncle are big beach-goers and surfers who love the ocean so I would make a donation to the Surfrider Foundation. What do you think?

I think this is a wonderful idea and because of you I'm going to do the same thing for two older relatives I buy for. Great, great thinking.

By Liz Seymour | November 16, 2006; 12:48 PM ET | Category: Thanksgiving
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My parents are getting my grandparents a blanket with a photo of all of their children on it from a family photo. The cutoff date to submit photos is December 1. Check out their website at: http://www.treasureknit.com/ for more info - my grandparents always appreciate sentimental things like this, so I'm sure it will be a hit

Posted by: college kid | November 16, 2006 05:27 PM

This is not foolproof.

I had an elderly aunt, a former teacher, who no longer needed (or got much pleasure from) trinkets if she'd like it if I made a donation to a childrens' charity in her name for Christmas (a charity of the sort she herself had supported when she had more disposable income). Her answer was an emphatic "NO!" She wanted stuff to unwrap, even if she wasn't much interested in it in the long run.

Posted by: GJ | November 16, 2006 06:26 PM

How about favorite snakes or treats (canned goods, cookies, crackers, nuts, etc.)? Assuming they have no dietary restrictions, of course.

Posted by: Columbia, MD | November 17, 2006 10:21 AM

I did that too, although it did not work our well for me.

Posted by: George Castansa | November 17, 2006 10:23 AM

We make a family calendar every year. We use one of the online photo processing services and the prices are quite reasonable and the quality is excellent.

No one ever has time to process pix and do these themselves. Are there old family pix you can scan and do the same? Are the old folks into architecture? perhaps you could make your own DC calendar of places you enjoy.

I gave charity donations last year and it was a huge hit. I used Heifer International. Here's what's so cool about HI: You pick what you want to buy (bees and chicks are quite reasonable) and they explain what happens to that donation. Basically, these go to sustain family farms in third world countries and once they get established, they must in turn give to others. The gift keeps giving. And it's tangible and has a story.

www.heiferinternational.org

If they really like the present part, try baking or making a little something and put it in a basket or handmade bag that they can reuse. Trader Joe's has beautiful, low-price baskets and wonderful little food items that make great gifts.

Posted by: Silver Sp, MD | November 17, 2006 11:29 AM

Charity things can still have something to unwrap -- usually when I've donated things they've sent letters or some sort of acknowledgement thingy, or if you would rather not say how much you donated you canmake your own -- "Dear Grandma, for Christmas this year I've donated money to Save the Manatees, Merry" and wrap that in a cute little box/envelope/something, like you might for a gift card.

Posted by: | November 17, 2006 02:59 PM

Your family's reaction to donations-as-gifts may depend on particular personalities, but please don't be put off by the poor experiences of some of the other commenters.... I've given charity donations as gifts to family for the past 2 years, and they loved it. My brother, in particular, commented that the last thing they need is another "thing" around the house, and he was thrilled to have the gift do some good instead.

Definitely stick with your plan of considering the recipient's particular causes and interests -- it elevates the gift from something potentially impersonal to something that says you thought carefully of him/her in making the gift.

If you haven't made all your charity choices yet, there are local Alternative Gift Fairs coming up in early December where you can "browse" and purchase specific donations to local and international charities (e.g., 1 month's salary for an Afghani school teacher, a certain number of meals for the homeless, or gardening supplies for a community garden). One fair will be held at the Takoma Park Presbyterian Church (310 Tulip Ave. in Takoma Park) on Saturday, Dec. 2 fom 2-4 pm. Another will be held as a happy hour at The Front Page bar/restaurant (1333 New Hampshire Ave.) on Tuesday, Dec. 5 from 6-9 pm.

Posted by: in DC | November 20, 2006 06:04 PM