Archive: September 3, 2006 - September 9, 2006
Granny Robs Bank With Toy Gun
Melvena Cooke may be the oldest person in Chicago history ever charged with attempted bank robbery. On Tuesday, the 79-year-old South Sider allegedly walked into a downtown bank wearing a visor that read "Princess," pulled out a toy gun, and demanded $30,000 from the teller. If convicted she faces up to 20 years in prison. ...
By Emil Steiner | September 8, 2006; 12:30 PM ET | Comments (2)
Slow Learner
A Cambodian man has been arrested for beating his wife only hours after attending a domestic violence seminar.
By Emil Steiner | September 8, 2006; 11:41 AM ET | Comments (1)
Basque Double Jeopardy
A Basque separatist on trial for threatening a judge told the presiding judge he would shoot and skin him alive.
By Emil Steiner | September 8, 2006; 10:13 AM ET | Comments (3)
Turning High Oil Prices Into Black Gold
Taking a cue from the record profits posted by oil companies, Steve Jordan of Lake Charles, Louisiana, is drilling his own oil well in his front yard. Watch out Exxon!
By Emil Steiner | September 7, 2006; 3:50 PM ET | Comments (2)
Cracking Nuts
Alabama police used ground up macadamia nuts to nab crack addicts in a downtown drug sting.
By Emil Steiner | September 7, 2006; 3:16 PM ET | Comments (1)
Puppy Pounder Convicted
On Wednesday, Lisa Hopfer of St. Louis was convicted of misdemeanor assault and trespassing for browbeating dog breeder Linda Hulsey with a dead Chihuahua.
By Emil Steiner | September 7, 2006; 2:51 PM ET | Comments (1)
Is That A Phone in Your Colon Or...
On Wednesday, authorities in El Salvador's notorious Zacatecoluca prison announced they had caught four gang members who hid cell phones, a charger and spare SIM cards in their bowels and used them to coordinate crime behind bars.
By Emil Steiner | September 7, 2006; 1:50 PM ET | Comments (2)
Traffic Cams Beware
A British motorist caught speeding by traffic camera, choose to blow up the recording device rather than pay the fine. Sure, he got caught and is heading to jail, but on the plus side OFF/beat has honored him with this week's Stupidest Criminal Award.
By Emil Steiner | September 6, 2006; 4:47 PM ET | Comments (4)
Total Eclipse of the Lawsuit
A group of Belgian travelers were so traumatized by Bonnie Tyler's midair rendition of "Total Eclipse of the Heart" that they're suing Air France.
By Emil Steiner | September 6, 2006; 2:29 PM ET | Comments (13)
Nature Vs. Nudity
Following up on the delightful tale of Brattleboro VT, where summer heat and naked teens aroused the ire of certain prim residents and caused one reader of this blog to insinuate that I thought civil unions were to blame: On Tuesday, the town's Select Board decided to take no action on an anti-nudity ordinance, hoping the upcoming Vermont winter would put the issue on ice. The Green Mountain State has no laws against public nakedness and Brattleboro has long been a birthday suit friendly town, with clothing optional swimming ponds and the annual Breast Fest. Still this summer's heated escalation of nudity (which in my opinion was caused more by global warming than civil unions) brought unwanted global attention to a vibrant New England town, where most of the 12,000 citizens prefer seeing teens naked than wearing gang colors.Source: Vt. Town to Let Nature Deal With Nudity...
By Emil Steiner | September 6, 2006; 1:12 PM ET | Comments (2)
Le French Forrest Gump
On Tuesday, French insurance worker Serge Girard, 52, arrived in Tokyo to complete a 260 day run which started 11,840 miles away in Paris. The massive marathon spanned 19 countries at an average clip of 45 miles a day. Girard was greeted at the finish line by his three children whom he hadn't seen in over 8 months. It remains unclear how they arrived in Japan's capital....
By Emil Steiner | September 5, 2006; 4:52 PM ET | Comments (2)
World's Shortest Midget DQed
Guinness World Records declared Khagendra Thapa, of Nepal, too young to qualify as world's shortest man. The 14-year-old, who stands 20 inches tall, will have to wait another 4 years to be considered for the title. At 2.5 inches less than his nearest competitor, there's a possibility Thapa could be crowned shortest person in the world, provided he maintains his diminutive stature (coffee, no milk). Meantime his family has raised $4,000 by organizing shows where people watch him dance and play, which should do wonders for his self esteem.Source: Boy's claim given short shrift...
By Emil Steiner | September 5, 2006; 12:51 PM ET | Comments (2)
Blind Driver Pleads Not Guilty
Perhaps inspired by "Scent of a Woman" Omed Aziz, who is blind, partially deaf, and suffers from leg tremors took a half mile drive through Oldbury, England back in April guided only by a friend sitting shotgun. The 31-year-old Iraqi national, who lost his vision in a bomb blast, pleaded not guilty to dangerous driving after British police caught him operating the Peugeot 405 at speeds up to 35mph. Aziz's defense attorney had attempted to argue that being blind didn't necessarily make his driving dangerous, but for some reason the court disagreed and found him guilty.Source: Blind man was 'dangerous driver'...
By Emil Steiner | September 5, 2006; 9:36 AM ET | Comments (2)
Xenophobes Goof
This week's award for clueless racism goes to "Bürgerbewegung Pro Köln" (Citizen Initiative for Cologne) a group of ultra German nationalist who attempted to lure angry young men to their cause the old fashion way, with sex. Their sleek ad campaign featured a young "Aryan" girl posing suggestively under the catch-phrase: "German is Hot!" Unfortunately for them the girl they selected was in fact a Czech lingerie model. Boing Boing reported yesterday citing German paper Der Spiegel that the group may now face copyright infringement for stealing the images from a porn site.Sources: German racists use Slav net-porn model in ad. Duhh. & Far-Right Poster Girl Turns Out to Be Czech Erotic Model...
By Emil Steiner | September 5, 2006; 8:37 AM ET | Comments (10)
