Archive: September 10, 2006 - September 16, 2006
Austrian Fecal Census
You've heard of bean-counters, but dung-counters? On Thursday, organizers of the Vienna Dog-Dropping Initiative urged residents to spend 5 minutes counting turds on the streets of Austria's capital city, as part of an impromptu census. The anti-fecal activists are planning to compile the figures and present them on Monday in an effort to pressure city officials to clean up Vienna's poopified promenades....
By Emil Steiner | September 15, 2006; 1:20 PM ET | Comments (5)
Some Pig!
A Wisconsin pig escapes slaughter by dodging traffic and police Tasers for 13 hours on Green Bay's busiest highway.
By Emil Steiner | September 15, 2006; 11:15 AM ET | Comments (2)
Nuked "Penis"
On Wednesday, Leslye Creighton, of Wilkinsburg PA, pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct for trying to microwave a prosthetic penis, in February. The 41-year-old and a companion had filled the phony phallus with urine in order to pass a drug test (where'd they get that idea?). Thinking testers might be suspicious if the urine wasn't at body temperature, Creighton stopped by a convenience store, wrapped the "organ" in paper towels and asked a clerk to microwave it. But the clerk mistook it to be a real severed penis and called police. If convicted Creighton faces up to 90 days in jail....
By Emil Steiner | September 15, 2006; 10:43 AM ET | Comments (2)
Foamy Jesus
A decline in Christmas attendance has prompted the Churches Advertising Network of Britain to launch a new campaign featuring a foamy image of Jesus in the waning suds of a pint glass.
By Emil Steiner | September 14, 2006; 2:57 PM ET | Comments (5)
Cult Remains Vigilant Despite Uneventful Doomsday
Even though the world would end on September 12th Kenyan members of the "House of Yahweh" seem undeterred by the apocalyptic tardiness, insisting international time zones were to blame.
By Emil Steiner | September 14, 2006; 1:03 PM ET | Comments (11)
Sleepy Judge Releases Suspects
A lazy South African judge, was so exhausted when 4pm rolled around that she released 13 suspects rather than work overtime. Sure, she's now held in near universal contempt, but on the plus side OFF/beat has honored her with this week's Laziest Public Servant Award.
By Emil Steiner | September 14, 2006; 9:46 AM ET | Comments (4)
When Punters Attack
Perhaps inspired by Tonya Harding or maybe Günter Parche, Mitch Cozad, the back-up punter at Northern Colorado was arrested, Tuesday, on suspicion of stabbing first string punter Rafael Mendoza in his kicking leg. The stabbing took place in a parking lot Monday night, and according to police was motivated by competition for the starting spot. Now, with Mendoza injured and Cozad suspended the only really beneficiary from the attack appears to be the Bears' third string punter, if only they had one listed on their roster....
By Emil Steiner | September 13, 2006; 7:06 PM ET | Comments (16)
Feline Jihad
A Chattanooga man, angered by an outbreak of cats and frustrated by the Humane Society's inaction, has launched a Feline Jihad, in an effort to rid his neighborhood of strays.
By Emil Steiner | September 13, 2006; 12:39 PM ET | Comments (4)
Peace For Sex
The wives of Colombian gang members have issued an ultimatum: stop killing each other or we'll stop having sex with you.
By Emil Steiner | September 13, 2006; 11:50 AM ET | Comments (5)
Phony Eunuchs Busted
Two Indian men are under arrest after a 15 day spree in which they impersonated eunuchs to in a black magic exorcism scam.
By Emil Steiner | September 13, 2006; 8:29 AM ET | Comments (3)
Ugly Fish Gets Surgery
A Scottish goldfish underwent cosmetic surgery after museum visitors complained about its appearance.
By Emil Steiner | September 12, 2006; 1:55 PM ET | Comments (3)
Minus-Sized Models Not Wanted
Madrid's ban on rail thin models has sent shock waves through the fashion world and may be the final hit for heroin chic.
By Emil Steiner | September 12, 2006; 12:50 PM ET | Comments (10)
Electric Man Electrocuted
Huynh Van Hung, of Vietnam, made a name for himself sticking his fingers in electric sockets and licking live wires has died of electrocution near the Cambodian boarder.
By Emil Steiner | September 12, 2006; 11:09 AM ET | Comments (6)
Triple Grande Extra Frivolous Lawsuit
On Friday, Peter Sullivan filed a $144 million lawsuit against Starbucks, after the Seattle java giant prematurely canceled their over-circulated free drink coupon, much to the anguish of coffee addicts nationwide.
By Emil Steiner | September 11, 2006; 2:58 PM ET | Comments (10)
Gunpoint Prayer Session
An Alabama trio have been arrested for allegedly holding a man hostage and praying for his soul.
By Emil Steiner | September 11, 2006; 1:55 PM ET | Comments (2)
French Presidential Love
On Sunday, French President Jacques Chirac called Finland's Prime Minister "the sexiest man in Finland."
By Emil Steiner | September 11, 2006; 1:19 PM ET | Comments (5)
For Shoe Thief Size Matters
Our first nomination for Stupidest Criminal of the week goes to an unnamed German shoplifter who snatched, among other things, a pair of non-matching shoes, then returned two days later wearing the very clothes he stole. According to Bielefeld police: "It seems he may not have been the brightest of thieves." Not only did the 20-year-old thief return to the scene of the crime clad in his purloined garments, but he actually attempted to switch the wrong-sized shoes for ones that matched.Source: Shoe size mix-up costs German clothes thief dear...
By Emil Steiner | September 11, 2006; 12:59 PM ET | Comments (1)
British MP's Cannibal Gaffe
British MP, Boris Johnson was forced to issue a public apology after characterizing the inhabitants of Papua New Guinea as cannibals.
By Emil Steiner | September 10, 2006; 9:39 PM ET | Email a Comment
