Archive: September 17, 2006 - September 23, 2006
Over-Priced Groping
A Finnish couple have been sentenced to more than 1 year in jail for bilking a demented 74-year-old out of cash to fondle the woman's breasts
By Emil Steiner | September 22, 2006; 2:25 PM ET | Comments (3)
This Week In OFF/beat Crime
From blueberry thieves to statue castrators here are this week's nominees for OFF/beat's Stupidest Criminal Award.
By Emil Steiner | September 22, 2006; 10:39 AM ET | Comments (6)
The Chavez Book Club
Less than 36 hours after Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez, hype Noam Chomsky's "Hegemony or Survival: America's Quest for Global Domination" has leaped onto Amazon's top 5 list.
By Emil Steiner | September 21, 2006; 2:28 PM ET | Comments (94)
Roach Eating At Six Flags
Six Flags Great America, in Illinois, is offering unlimited line-jumping privileges to customers who eat a live Madagascar hissing cockroach
By Emil Steiner | September 21, 2006; 12:35 PM ET | Comments (2)
Stimulating Paranoia
On Wednesday, Swiss researchers announced that stimulating a certain area of the brain can produce a creepy feeling that someone is watching you when no one is.
By Emil Steiner | September 21, 2006; 10:52 AM ET | Comments (2)
Moose Invades Dorm Room
On Tuesday, a wayward moose went Robert Downey Jr. wandering uninvited onto the Northern Michigan University campus and crashing a dorm room window while students slept. According to one wildlife expert it may have just been looking for love in all the wrong places. Apparently "young bull moose," much like lonely freshmen on a Friday night, often go out of their way traveling "long distances" for an opportunity to mate.Source: Moose Wanders Onto N. Michigan U. Campus...
By Emil Steiner | September 21, 2006; 8:11 AM ET | Comments (1)
Psychic HR
Colombia's chief federal prosecutor hired psychic, Armando Marti, to improve human relations around the office and help his staff deal stress. Marti spent the next few months hypnotizing workers to determine loyalty and even performed a candlelit exorcism over a voodoo doll.
By Emil Steiner | September 20, 2006; 2:59 PM ET | Comments (3)
Say WHAT?
The Chairman of the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation has resigned after making comments about bestiality and the joys of deification.
By Emil Steiner | September 20, 2006; 12:17 PM ET | Comments (6)
Man Bites Zoo Panda
This is a different panda whose biting record was not available. (James A. Parcell -- The Washington Post) Next time you're drunk at the zoo, remember Zhang Xinyan. The boozed up migrant worker from central China, jumped into a panda enclosure at the Beijing Zoo on September 19, and attempted to pet a 6-year-old male named Gu Gu. As the 35-year-old went in for a hug, the panda took a bite out of his right leg. Zhang, who had been drinking beer all day, retaliated by chomping Gu Gu back -- but, as he recalled later "its fur was too thick." A 15 minute scuffle ensued before zoo keepers could pull him to safety. "No one ever said they would bite people," Zhang, a father of two, lamented from his hospital bed. "I just wanted to touch it. I was so dizzy from the beer. I don't remember much."Source: Panda Bites Man, Man Bites Him Back...
By Emil Steiner | September 20, 2006; 9:07 AM ET | Comments (2)
Postal Brew
On Tuesday, an Ohio state postal worker who poured urine into his co-workers' coffee was sentenced to six months in a jail work-release program.
By Emil Steiner | September 19, 2006; 5:52 PM ET | Comments (7)
How NOT To Smuggle Wildlife
On Monday, Chris Edward Mulloy of Palm Springs, California was arrested for allegedly sneaking two Asian leopards through LAX and lying for a friend who was smuggling two pygmy monkeys down his pants.
By Emil Steiner | September 19, 2006; 3:14 PM ET | Comments (3)
Czechs Going Sober??
A new set of stricter drunk driving laws threatens to water down the Czech Republics record for largest beer consumption.
By Emil Steiner | September 19, 2006; 2:56 PM ET | Comments (2)
To Have and To Have Not
Surgeons at Guangzhou General Hospital, in China had spent 15 hours attaching a 4 inch penis donated by brain-dead 22-year-old man onto a 44-year-old recipient who had lost his in a traumatic accident. But less than two weeks after performing the world's first penile transplant, doctors were forced to remove the organ because of complaints of severe psychological distress from the recipient's wife. Even though his body did not reject the new penis, apparently its grotesque, swollen appearance caused his wife to....
By Emil Steiner | September 19, 2006; 11:55 AM ET | Comments (9)
Neither Rain, Nor Sleet, But Sloth?
A Kentucky postal employee admitted to dumping over 500 pieces of mail because he was to lazy to deliver it. Sure, he's now facing jail time, but on the plus side OFF/beat has honored him with this week's Laziest Public Servant Award.
By Emil Steiner | September 19, 2006; 8:48 AM ET | Comments (3)
Prickly Advice
Fact or fiction? The validity of this story may be in question but its weirdness certainly is not. A number of online newspapers and tabloids are reporting that Zoran Nikolovic of Serbia, underwent emergency surgery after he attempted to cure his premature ejaculation by sodomizing a hedgehog. The 35-year-old was apparently following the medical advice of a voodoo witchdoctor, though by all accounts he went to a regular physician to treat his lacerated member. According to a hospital spokesman, the hedgehog was not injured. Mr. Nikolovic, who clearly got the worst of the encounter, apparently hasn't told his girlfriend yet, but anticipates she'll probably dump him.Sources: Prick too many after voodoo 'cure' & Man Has Sex With Hedgehog...
By Emil Steiner | September 18, 2006; 3:02 PM ET | Comments (5)
Big Brother Is Talking To You
Law enforcement officers in Middlesbrough, England have fitted downtown security cameras with microphones that yell humiliating reprimands at anyone seen committing anti-social crimes.
By Emil Steiner | September 18, 2006; 2:07 PM ET | Comments (4)
Dining A La Chimp
Forget seeing eye-dogs, a Missouri women has filed a request under the Americans With Disabilities Act to allow her to bring her, panic-attack-preventing-monkey to restaurants and other public places.
By Emil Steiner | September 18, 2006; 11:30 AM ET | Comments (1)
Trial By Oil
Village elders in India ordered 150 men to plunge their hands into boiling oil to prove their innocence after food was swiped from a local school.
By Emil Steiner | September 18, 2006; 9:52 AM ET | Comments (3)
