Flatulent Flyer Grounds Jet
Flight Makes Emergency Landing After Gas Leak Cover-Up
It remains one of the most uncomfortable questions in society, pondered by many, but never solved: How do you cover-up farts in enclosed public spaces? From elevators to airplanes, victims find themselves subjected to the noxious winds of nature with little recourse other than holding their breath or tucking their nose. One gassy lady on a cross-country flight tried to change all that with a daring spin on the classic bathroom deodorification. Although it backfired, she gets an OFF/beat "A" for effort.
While flying from D.C. to Dallas, our unnamed heroine (with an unnamed medical condition) struck at least four matches to mask her "body odor." The altruism fell on deaf noses, however, as several passengers -- perhaps fearing terrorism -- reported a burning smell, causing the American Airlines jet to make an emergency landing in Nashville. Five crew members and 99 passengers were evacuated as FBI, Transportation Safety Administration and bomb sniffing dogs (rough) investigated the scene, turning up the spent matchsticks. After interrogation, the woman admitted what she had done. Despite her good intentions, she was not allowed back on board.
(Senior Producer Rocci Fisch contributed to this report)
By Emil Steiner | December 6, 2006; 1:53 PM ET | Category: OFF/beat
Posted by: Bill R. | December 6, 2006 10:21 PM
What was this mook lady thinking? Hasn't she heard that farts are flammable? It' s a good thing folks that one of the ass bombs didn't blow a hole in the plane.
Posted by: The Luce | December 6, 2006 10:29 PM
That's embarassing...
Posted by: Minh | December 6, 2006 10:35 PM
They should have brought on the Fart Sniffing Dogs who would have led them right to her fat farting a**.
Posted by: Frequent Flyer | December 6, 2006 10:48 PM
You sound like you know this lady... she a friend of yours?
Posted by: Paul | December 7, 2006 1:26 AM
You didn't just cut the motherfn' cheese on this motherfn' plane!
Posted by: Samuel L. Jackson | December 7, 2006 9:43 AM
It just goes to show, when they say no smoking on the plane they mean it. No smoking means no smoking.
Posted by: Infrequent flyer | December 7, 2006 12:03 PM
American Air celebrates how they acted quickly to avert a potential terrorist attack, but it was their food that caused the gas leak in the first place. How bout less vigilance and better grub.
Posted by: Frequent Flyer | December 7, 2006 12:31 PM
Did she get any "Frequent Fryer" points?
Posted by: chico | December 7, 2006 1:32 PM
Ive heard of snakes on a plane but not
farting ladies.
Posted by: c.t. | December 7, 2006 4:31 PM
To me there's nothing sweeter than the smell of a "spicy" fart, do you not agree?
Posted by: Betty | December 7, 2006 5:42 PM
The comments to this entry are closed.
That lady desreves a medal for trying to protect the folks around her. Besides crying babies there ain't nothing worse than farts on a plane.